Waiting to restart my life after late miscarriage

(6 Posts)
Whyarewewaiting Sun 18-Sep-16 16:10:00

My daughter was born in May after ruture of membranes at 23 weeks. She lived for an hour. I am desperate to be pregnant once more and can think of nothing else.
A normally open person, I have shut myself off from friends as I wait another pregnancy. I feel I can't move on without a pregnancy and at 39 time is not on my side.

Alibaba2 Sun 18-Sep-16 17:13:28

Hello,

Sorry to hear what you've been through.

It's totally understandable that you can't switch off.

I feel the same. I had a MC in May and am obsessed with getting pg again. I have also shut myself off as don't want to talk about it.

I'm 41 next month so totally stressed out about my age.

But can we do but stay healthy, relaxed, wait and hope.

Did it take you long to conceive?

Whyarewewaiting Sun 18-Sep-16 19:39:35

I'm sorry to hear about your MC. Do you have any children already?

My cycles are long around 40 days, but just 3 cycles that time. I also had a missed miscarriage before that at 13 weeks. So I have spent the majority of the last year pregnant without a baby to show for it.

Alibaba2 Sun 18-Sep-16 19:54:21

I really hope its third time lucky for you. There's no reason why not. It sounds like you conceived fairly easily.

I find this forum helps as you can anonymously be open about what's going on and your feelings. Have you recently joined?

You have been through a trauma, don't forget that. Can you get counselling? Do you have any close friends/family you can confide in?

I have 2 girls aged 5 and 7.

user1474223786 Sun 18-Sep-16 21:21:59

Firstly, ladies I am so sorry for your losses.

wow, sounds silly, but I am feeling like i am not insane anymore now i see i'm not alone in feeling like this, i has a MMC in July, broke my heart. my OH said to wait til January to try again. It is literally all i can think of. I even (stupidly) asked him on Monday to consider trying now, but he tells me today that he's not had chance to think about it and im to stop pushing him. well i guess that gives me my answer then. Must admit i am slightly concerned he will say he changed his mind and doesnt want one at all now.

I was 12 weeks gone when we found out i was loosing it, it ( Peanut) died at 9 weeks. I feel so guilty that I didnt realise anything was wrong. I have two older kids from a previous (abusive) relationship so I can have kids, and have the added "guilt" of knowing I have carried the children of a monster to term, but not my loving man of the last 8 years. when is life going to play fair?

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's only when it happens to you that you get how it feels. I had a similar experience in between my 2 children and I ended up feeling guilty for how I felt because I thought I should be grateful that I at least already had a child. It was so confusing. I felt that I couldn't move on until I was pregnant again, and it did happen, but I never forget the birthday of the baby I lost.
I read about how often it happens and that once you've been pregnant, there's proof you can get pregnant again: that made me more optimistic. I know so many people that have lost a baby and gone on to have babies. Be kind to yourself and take care. Wishing you happiness!

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