Convinced I was pregnant but AF showed up again

[Lonelyfox]

Hi there!
Was given the go ahead by my specialist this month to start trying again after all my blood tests and scans came back clear.
I have had 3 miscarriages in the last year and while it was a relief for the results to be classified as "normal" it was hugely frustrating as I still don't know what went wrong each time. After my last ERPC, the genetic results came back as "normal" too, so I really just feel like a failure.
Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is that last month (after a slip up) I was totally and utterly convinced that I was pregnant. All the same symptoms as when I've fallen before - sore boobs, light headedness, queasiness, fatigue etc.etc. and so when I missed my AF due date I wasn't the least surprised. However I've never got a positive test until 5 days later and so I left it until the 5th day and with nervous trepidation headed to the bathroom that morning armed with a pregnancy test, only to discover that I wouldn't be needing one.
I didn't read too much into it and went off to see my consultant with a "clear" conscience.
The weird thing is that it would seem it's happening again this month.
Within 3 days of ovulation, I was feeling dizzy and queasy, and within a week my boobs were agony. Last weekend I had yellow cm and I was once again, convinced - especially with all the twinges I remember getting in the tww's before my BFP's. At 10DPO I started to come down with a cough and by the next day a full on migraine decided to settle in (in fact the only time I suffer with migraines has been when pregnant - leading me to think I had Hughes syndrome - which apparently I don't). I spent 2 sleepless nights in agony, refusing all pain killers. Decided to make a trip to the docs who prescribed co-dydramol (paracetamol with a bit of codeine) which helped a little, but boy was that night nurse tempting!
Anyway this morning (AF not due until tomorrow) I popped to the loo only to discover lots of brown discharge - my ever faithful precursor to the dreaded witch. I have NEVER been early before.
What is going on?!
Has anyone else had this happen before? I wonder if it's something I've done wrong? Or if both months something hasn't been quite right and my body has prevented implantation?
Any views hugely appreciated.xx

[delilahbucket]

Hi Lonely. I'm ever so sorry to hear of your miscarriages. What you are experiencing just sounds like the results of progesterone production after ovulation. I could have written your symptoms myself and I have them every month. Back in December last year, tenmonths after stopping the pill, I started spotting brown before af. I've since had two cycles where I havwnt had this at all, and the others have been different every time. Some cycles I will get it one day a bit and then af will start two days later, some cycles I will get it for three days straight before af, some only a few hours before af. What I'm trying to say is that you starting spotting doesn't mean af is early, it isn't as it hasn't started yet. This starting one day before af is perfectly normal and doesn't mean you have done anything wrong. It is just another wonder of the female body. I also get the af migraine, every cycle. It's awful. It is caused by the sudden drop in hormones in the body ie progesterone. That is what causes the spotting too.

[Lonelyfox]

Hi Delilah. Thanks for replying!
How weird. I never ever had any pms issues before I started trying for a little one.
Strange thing is that between each miscarriage I had a cycle or 2 off and didn't get any symptoms at all.
These last two months my 2ww's have been almost unbearable.
So bizarre :(

[delilahbucket]

I start noticing any symptoms beyond cramps signalling the beginning of af before ttc. Now I have everything under the sun every cycle! Last cycle I cramped for 8 bloody days before af! Some were really painful. A few months ago I started cramping with ovulation, never have before. I feel like I spend three weeks out of four grumbling about something hurting, be it boobs, abdomen, back, head.
I do think your hormones are out of whack from the miscarriages, but that may be a permanent thing.

[Lonelyfox]

Oh goodness. I hope it's not going to become a permanent thing. I've also found that since the ERPC my periods are way heavier and more painful.
I wonder if someone had told us before we started down this road how much pain and heartache would be coming our way, whether or not we would have taken that first step.
About 75% of my friends and various family members have fallen pregnant or given birth in the last 18 months and it's killing me slowly :(

[delilahbucket]

I know how you feel, I have not had a miscarriage. We're into cycle 16. Last month we were told dp has antisperm antibodies ans the only real chance of conceiving is through icsi, to the tune of about £4800. I've come off Facebook because I couldn't cope with the baby/pregnancy announcements. I told dp to tell his mum as every time we saw her it was "hint, hint, hint" about us having a baby.
I also have heavy and painful periods that started in September. I worked out it was because I had stopped taking ibuprofen regularly for an existing condition. I now take it for the first two days of af. I wait until I'm definitely bleeding as it can interfere with implantation. If I don't take it then blood just puts from me and clots so big I feel them coming out. A pad and tampon together aren't enough. It's just awful.
When were going through all this crap it does make you wonder if you would have proceeded if you knew what was coming.