35+ TTC #1

(239 Posts)
elisev Tue 02-Aug-16 10:49:24

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

Queen0ffaff Tue 02-Aug-16 11:05:00

Hi Elisev,

Thank you for starting this thread! Yes, this is me. Almost exactly the same boat. We've known for a while this would be the time that would be right for us to start trying, and so I feel the build-up started a while back. And now I'm in the early stages of the 2ww, I find it's ALL I can think about!

I definitely worry about time not being on our side, and have done for a few years, really (especially when still single), especially as we would ideally like more than one DC (getting used to those acronyms!) - but would feel very lucky with one, to be honest. All that said, there are women all around me having first and second babies in their late 30s and early 40s, and we know it's totally possible, so there's every reason not to worry too much at this stage... But as it's not always / often about reason, I'm really glad to join you here!

I'm just past 35, and this was our first cycle really ttc. I'm not charting or testing anything (yet?) so I wasn't totally sure when ovulation was, but think we dtd enough around the right time to give a fair shot this month. Currently on cd 21 and due to test on the 12th... Fx for both of us!

elisev Tue 02-Aug-16 11:24:33

Thank you for your reply Queenoffaff

My AF is due on Monday so I've got 6 days to go. The 2ww is just horrible isn't it?! I feel like even though I may be disappointed if AF turns up, at least I'll know either way and have a break from the wondering! Hopefully I'll know for all the positive reasons though!

We only want the one child so no pressure in that sense for us, I just have it in my head that I don't want to give birth at 40, that's just a personal choice though, but still adds pressure.

Pyjamas81 Tue 02-Aug-16 12:02:49

Hello - perfect thread!

I'm 35, TTC #1, on cycle 1, AF due today but Ovia telling me to test on Saturday - argh!

Definitely feeling the fear of time not being on our side - but quite honestly, I've never been the broody type but have realised it's now or never! I still have The Fear, but will battle through it!

elisev Tue 02-Aug-16 16:17:10

Pyjamas 81 why can you not test today? Do you have irregular cycles?

I didn't know what that Ovia was until you mentioned it...have now added it to my growing list of informative apps!

Pyjamas81 Tue 02-Aug-16 16:25:42

Hi elisev - This is only my third cycle since coming off the pill - the first one was 32 days long, the second one was 22 days long and I ovulated on CD11, am currently on CD28 for this cycle and ovulated on CD20! So am roughly 8 days dpo which is too early to test - I think this cycle will be longer anyway!

No sign of AF yet...

elisev Tue 02-Aug-16 16:55:36

Ahhh! I see pyjamas81. Good luck! It's so bloody nerve wreaking!

Pyjamas81 Tue 02-Aug-16 16:57:50

It really is! I must have gone to the loo to check about 800 times today, colleagues will think I have a problem soon ha ha

Blueberry1 Tue 02-Aug-16 18:23:33

Hi EliseV thanks for starting this thread.

I am 40 and TTC for almost 6 months. There isn't much more I can do health wise except totally give up alcohol and I've already cut down to a few units a week. Having been to a fertility clinic to get checked out (all is working correctly), I know that my age is the biggest factor and I can't change it : (

@Pyjamas81, I was previously on the pill and my cycle has gone a bit strange since I came off it. Glad am not the only one. It seems now (last 2 months?) to have settled at 26 days, but it was (pre-pill) always 29-31.

Next period is due end of this week (assuming 26 day cycle) and I'm rather apprehensive. I've been feeling more tired than normal for no apparent reason as well as light-headed and dizzy (almost blacked out once & gave my other half a shock!). I don't want to hope too much that it's an early sign of pregnancy as it probably won't be.

elisev Tue 02-Aug-16 18:49:27

Oh Blueberry1, wishing you all the best with this weekend! I really hope it happens for you!

There are all these statistics saying that women are getting pregnant later in life and I sometimes feel that adds more pressure. It's so scary when you e literally done everything you can and then you just have to sit back and let Mother Nature take its course!

I'm on a group of friends who don't have kids too so I can't really discuss it with anyone. Plus, I realise I've only been trying for about 4 weeks so they would just tell me to calm down and enjoy it- because they have no idea what it feels like! I would probably have said the same tbh, before I wanted it myself!

SoozC Tue 02-Aug-16 21:32:18

Hi all! I'm joining the thread, thanks for starting it, elisev!

I'll be 35 on Friday (argh)! DP is 47, ttc for 6 months. Every af is a kick in the teeth, I can tell ya. Trying not to let it bother me but it does. Af due 12th/13th August so testing after then if it doesn't show (but it will, I just don't feel lucky).

Pyjamas81 Tue 02-Aug-16 23:24:41

Really hope this weekend works out for you blueberry - I have my fingers crossed for you! Thanks for the reassurance re AF levelling out, it's so annoying not being able to properly predict things!

Elisev- I'm in the same position as you regarding no friends with kids (I do have one, but she lives far away) and let's face it any TTC chat with my other friends is likely to be terminally boring for them, so here I am on these boards!

Still no sign of AF today - I did get some weird pains, but I'm trying and failing not to read too much into it.

elisev Wed 03-Aug-16 09:32:14

Hi soozc,

Thanks for joining the thread. Hoping things work out this time.

Pyjamas81 - I think I'm already boring my DH with all the TTC talk ! Haha!

I'm not sure if being able to predict makes it any easier. My worry is that I'll have done everything 'right' and it still won't happen. Either way, whatever people's situation is, it's a very scary and frustrating time.

Fingers crossed for everyone smile

Pyjamas81 Wed 03-Aug-16 09:50:43

Ha ha - I've told DH he just has to suck it up and made the point that if it were physically happening to him, he would be just as obsessed! These boards do help ensure he only gets 50% of the cray cray though grin

Still no AF this morning, but have mild stomach pains (not quite cramping, hard to explain!) and temp is still elevated - aaaarrrrggghhh

Blueberry1 Wed 03-Aug-16 15:19:40

pyjama81 & EliseV - my DP needed a lot of persuasion to try for a kid (he's older than me and Dad to a teenager), so he's not interested in talking about TTC much and has accused me of "being obsessed". Although to be fair, he does understand why I feel differently to him about this.

I also think men aren't as in tune with their bodies as we ladies are, so they don't get that we notice small changes and (when TTC) might overanalyse them a bit.

I'm currently using more spot zapper cream than usual as if in vain attempt to convince myself that less acne at this time of the month (usually when big nasty spots appear) must mean I'm pregnant. Obsessed moi, surely not??!!

Queen0ffaff Wed 03-Aug-16 15:30:10

Hi folks,

My DH is on board as much as I am (I think!), but that didn't stop the idea of taking vitamins freaking him out yesterday. I guess we all have our moments like that however much we want it - it is a big deal! Especially for those of us here who've spent quite a chunk of adult life just as we are. For them, being that bit more removed at this stage, I guess you get more of the "hitting you" moments than we do when we're so physically tuned in to everything all the time. Talking of which, I'm definitely starting to lose the plot now symptom spotting-wise - doing the acne analysis, too, blueberry - trying not to go down the rabbit hole, but convinced it's in places I don't usually get them!

Usernamegone Wed 03-Aug-16 22:22:21

Excellent thread. I'm 36 and hoping to ttc #1. The plan is to start properly 'trying' in Sept/Oct. I came off the pill in June to give my cycle time to get back to normal.

elisev Thu 04-Aug-16 11:06:29

Pyjamas81 - how are you going today?

I've tried to calm down today and so far I'm succeeding. The last 5 days or so have been making me miserable and I just can't maintain that level of anxiety anymore! I'm just going to try to get on with things as normal, until I get the double lines or AF!

Usernamegone- welcome. Hope that your cycles sort themselves out soon. You could still be loosely trying now, you never know what could happen smile

kirinm Thu 04-Aug-16 11:15:08

There's a thread called 35 or over TTC! Sorry I can't do links but if you scroll down it is there smile

kirinm Thu 04-Aug-16 11:16:00

Oops sorry! That was meant to be posted on another thread.

Pyjamas81 Thu 04-Aug-16 11:31:27

Still no sign of AF for me Elise! My temps are up as well (pic below) but I'm trying to keep emotions in check - AF could strike any second. I also keep getting random pelvic pains on left side, so a bit different to usual AF cramps. Testing on Saturday seems ages away and I know it may not even happen if AF shows! It helps that I'm just as nervous about a BFP as I am about a BFN, which is stopping me from testing!

Glad you're feeling calmer - I try to remind myself that things will be as they will be no matter how stressed I am about it. Easier said than done of course sad

Pyjamas81 Thu 04-Aug-16 11:31:44

Still no sign of AF for me Elise! My temps are up as well (pic below) but I'm trying to keep emotions in check - AF could strike any second. I also keep getting random pelvic pains on left side, so a bit different to usual AF cramps. Testing on Saturday seems ages away and I know it may not even happen if AF shows! It helps that I'm just as nervous about a BFP as I am about a BFN, which is stopping me from testing!

Glad you're feeling calmer - I try to remind myself that things will be as they will be no matter how stressed I am about it. Easier said than done of course sad

Blueberry1 Thu 04-Aug-16 11:44:49

Usernamegone - why not try the "3x per week" that some Drs recommend? This should catch any fertile days and get you both used to a little more "practice" without undue focus on timing.

I did try this but didn't quite manage as DP has a tendancy to stay up past my bedtime watching TV during the week confused and wanting not to put pressure on him I perhaps wasn't as insistent as I could have been.

petiteange28 Thu 04-Aug-16 12:30:17

Hi all,

Sorry I started another thread and then deleted it as I had been waiting for a 35+ and TTC 1 for 9 months......since I embarked on this stressful wonderful journey.

Hope I can join in the chat. I'm 35.5 and am trying for number one, and have been since December last year. Currently supposed to be ovulating but not POAS yet....trying to not think about pregnancy but that is the most impossible thing in the world!

I'm sick of reading articles saying that we're past it....I still only feel about 23 smile

Looking forward to continuing the journey with some others to chat to....

Blueberry1 Thu 04-Aug-16 13:01:00

Welcome petiteange28! If you're under 40, I don't think you have much to worry about; fertility declines sharply only after 40. Eg most women in late 30s have 70-80% chance of conceiving within a year, a woman in early 40s (ie me; am approaching 41) has 20% chance. sad

I know what you mean about not feeling past it; I'm fit & healthy (non smoking vegetarian who runs and cycles). I look so much younger than my age that I got asked for ID buying wine when I was 39 (in defence of check out man, I was dressed in cycle gear at time with hair in pigtails....)!!

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