Impending miscarriage after BFP :(

[Thebean123]

Hi all.....
I posted here just over a week ago on finding out I was pregnant with much sought after first child....this is my update.
So I've had some pretty sad news. The dr called me on Monday and told me that she doesn't expect this pregnancy to last due to low hgc levels. I was tested the day after my bfp (Wednesday) and the levels were just 25. Had more blood taken on the Friday and they had risen to 42. Doctor called me on Monday and told me to expect the worst and a miscarriage. She wants to take more blood on Monday (a whole week after telling me to expect the worst...what an awful wait) but isn't hopeful. And neither am I now.

Has anyone else gone through this? I have no idea what to expect and when to expect the bleeding to start? I had a pink smudge when I wiped on a few days ago but NOTHING at all since. I feel like it's just torture at the moment. Stuck in some shitty limbo waiting for the worst to happen. Was given the best news ever and within a week it was all taken away from me. Eurgh. Sorry for the rambling.......just having a rant and feeling pretty sorry for myself!

[Lizziedoll]

Hi, sorry I don't know your name.
My name is Alizee, I'm 29 and am pretty much in the same situation as you. This is my first pregnancy, I got my BFP on July 7 and my partner and I were over the moon, this was the happiest time of my life. Unfortunately early scans revealed a fetus that isn't viable, he is too small and his heartbeat too faint (I am almost 7 weeks but fetus measures 5 weeks). I have been told to expect a miscarriage and I am pretty sure that is what's been happening since yesterday as I've been cramping, bleeding and passing clots (sorry tmi). I'm also stuck in a horrible limbo because I can't say 100% what is going on until my next scan on Thursday. This is unbelievably difficult and heartbreaking, I've never experienced anything like it. My heart goes out to you. I am here to talk anytime and could even give you my email address if you'd like to talk more privately. Take care, you are not alone.

[Thebean123]

Hi alizee.....I'm Michelle and 30 :)

So sorry to hear what you're going through. It is utterly miserable isn't it? I think it's the waiting and never knowing for sure what's going on. As awful as it sounds....I wish my bleeding would just start so I know what's happening and can try and move on and get my head around it all. I'm so frustrated too.....never being pregnant before I had no idea what to expect. When I first had my bloods taken I was only 3 weeks so extremely early and was told when they were 42 that everything was "fine" by a dr that was not my own. I just believed him not knowing any different. So was happy for the weekend and then called out of the blue on Monday to be told something different. I mean I'm so early along....4 weeks and it's all doom and gloom and a waiting game to miscarry. All seems so pointless and shit! Excuse my language.....!!
Thanks for your reply it's lovely to know I'm not alone :) x

[Lizziedoll]

I completely understand wanting the bleeding to start so you can get closure and allow yourself to start grieving. But you must remember that bleeding doesn't necessarily mean you are having a miscarriage and some people lose the pregnancy but never bleed and only find out at their next scan. Pregnancy is a lot more complicated than I thought, so much can go wrong and so many things can be misinterpreted, it really is an emotional roller coaster (it has been for us at least). I would love to keep chatting with you while we both go through this hideous time, I feel very alone in this. Is your partner being supportive? Will you try again if you lose this pregnancy? Sending big hugs

[Thebean123]

That's what I don't fully understand. I'm accepting that I've "lost" this pregnancy already as its what I've been told pretty much even though I'm still technically pregnant. But when will I get a "period" or "miscarriage" bleed?? The doctor did say I may have to take medication to induce a miscarriage or maybe a D&C? I hope it doesn't come to that and I can pass it naturally :(

You're right it is a much more complicated issue than I originally thought. I honestly didn't know it involved so much, maybe just be being naive?! Yeah my partner has been wonderful I must say, if not maybe a little too optimistic. I'm always one for expecting the worst and dealing with it whereas I still get the impression he's hoping when I have my blood taken again Monday a miracle will have occurred and I'm magically healthily pregnant again :/

I will definitely try again after this is over. I've only ever wanted to be a mum. I have two wonderful step children who I adore but long for a child of my own.

Would love to keep chatting support is key I think. Especially with someone going through a similar experience :) xxx

[Lizziedoll]

It's great that your partner is being supportive, mine is too. This has been so hard on us though that I am scared we don't make it as a couple. I'm so traumatised I'm unsure I want to try again and even if I do I feel it's unlikely my partner will. I guess it was just not meant to be for us. I still hope that I can have a child someday when I'm ready and if not with my partner then with someone else. Do you worry this could happen again and that there is something physically wrong with you? Because I do. Although I checked statistics and apparently the chances of having two miscarriages in a row is only 2% which is a pretty reassuring. I don't think I could go through this twice in a row...

[Thebean123]

Hi, sorry have been out at the in laws today have only just looked at my phone.

I'm not surprised your worried about making it as a couple.....the whole ttc and especially the sadness of a mc is a lot of strain on both parties. I'm sure that you will weather this storm though. A few days ago I was adamant that I would never do this again, and that I wouldn't put myself through the stress and possible trauma. But now things are starting to settle and calm down a little I can see that that was hurt and anger speaking. We will try again......just give ourselves some time to relax before we hit the baby train again!

I worry absolutely that this will happen again yes! I also worry how I will cope emotionally with another pregnancy as I will undoubtably be paranoid and terrified up until the "safe point" of 12 weeks. But I think that's completely normal after going through something like this. And I'm sure that statistics and other people's experiences are right, and one mc doesn't mean your next pregnancy won't be happy and healthy. Doesn't make it any easier at the moment though does it?! Xxx

[Lizziedoll]

No it doesn't, I agree. Will you keep me posted re: your blood test on Monday? I will let you know the outcome of my scan on Thursday. In the meantime I am here if you'd like to chat. What are your plans this evening? I am going to have a hot bath, eat a nice dinner and go to bed with a hot water bottle and a couple of paracetamol as my miscarriage is still ongoing. I hope it doesn't last for weeks on end xx

[Thebean123]

Of course I will :) I will PM you my email so we don't have to chat on here too. Always here if u want a chat.

Sounds like a good plan.....pop a soppy film on and have a good old cry if u need it. I always find it helps. I'm planning on exactly the same....nice dinner, cheesy film and a massive slab of cadburys caramel in bed 👌🏼 xxx

[KittensandKnitting]

Hi both

It truly is an awful thing to experience and feel very much for you both X

Just in case you haven't found it you will find lots of support and advice under

Body and Soul
Miscarriage

In the meantime, it can help when it is painful to lie on your left hand side, for some reason this is actually known to ease the pain somewhat, if the pain is not being eased by paracetamol ask your GP for some codeine to take with it - it was the only thing that helped me with my later miscarriage and when for a while there was a "little" hope it may be ok, and finally be very kind to yourselves.