Am I simply too fat to have a baby?

(8 Posts)
SpunBodgeSquarepants Thu 02-Jun-16 10:41:46

Well, the cold hard truth is I know I am really. I'm just too scared of going to the doctor to be told I am.

We've been TTC for a year now. My thirteenth unwelcome period started this morning.

I am 5'4" and 18 stone, which gives me a bmi of 43.

When I conceived DS (now 2.3) I was 14 stone, he was conceived second cycle!

But here's the thing - I am 99% sure I am ovulating as I have temped, I use OPKs and I monitor my CM. My cycles are regular - between 32-36 days.

So my question is - even if I am ovulating, can my weight somehow stop me from getting pregnant??

spankhurst Thu 02-Jun-16 10:47:24

My friend was about your size when she conceived but it took her a long while. Weirdly, she gained almost no weight during the pg, just a few pounds.

Would it be better for you to lose some weight first? Just for your own health and comfort.

LetsSplashMummy Thu 02-Jun-16 11:10:36

Firstly, think what you want from this thread - honestly. Do you want lots of stories from even bigger people who conceived to put your mind at rest? Do you want a bit of a shove to sort your weight out? Do you want advice on TTC (where realistically, mentioning your being morbidly obese is unavoidable)? If you just want reassurance, then you will have to make that clear or you are going to end up feeling worse.

Everything will be easier if you lose some weight - conceiving, fertility treatment (should you need it), pregnancy, birth, recovery. No matter how much you dread diet/exercise/weight loss - it is a nicer thing to embark on than fertility treatment and month after month of failing to TTC. It might also be a good time to lose weight successfully as you have an incentive. I found that taking control of my health helped me deal with the disappointment month after month, instead of blaming myself, it helps psychologically to be doing everything you can.

If you are scared of the doctor now, you are going to hate being a high risk pregnancy. Even a small amount of weight loss will enable you to go to the Dr saying, I have lost x amount and have the confidence that you can lose more if she brings it up instead of feeling judged and despondent.

Disclaimer: I don't think this applies to all overweight people, but going by the Dr comment it is obviously holding OP back. I know it is possible to love your body whatever size, but OP does not seem to. I also know that someone is never "too fat to have a baby" just the chances are lower.

SpunBodgeSquarepants Thu 02-Jun-16 11:45:23

Thank you both so much for reading and replying to my post.
Spankhurst Yes, I think you're right - I think also if I were to conceive at this size it would make me sad not having a lovely bump to watch grow. *
LetsSplashMummy* wow, you read me like a book. If I can't lose weight now to give my lovely DS a little brother or sister, then I never will. I am being so fucking selfish. Thank you.

QOD Thu 02-Jun-16 11:52:46

I was 20 odd stone and shorter ( still am shorter wink ) and was told my weight didn't help
I'm now 8 stone lighter and still no bambino. It's not always the actual weight
Secondary infertility is very common.
I'd suggest seeing the gp for blood tests etc but yes, lose a bit if you can

AliBingo Thu 02-Jun-16 21:32:07

I was 18 stone and same height as you and conceived in 4 months so don't lose hope. I did read that just losing 5 or 10% of your weight makes a big difference to fertility and I lost some weight before a subsequent pregnancy which made getting maternity clothes easier if nothing else!

A friend was similar to me but a bit heavier and had pcos so hard to lose weight but conceived quickly on clomid.

Don't beat yourself up, keep trying but crack on with the healthy eating too if poss.

MagpieCursedTea Thu 02-Jun-16 22:53:43

I struggled conceiving DS when I was very heavy and my GP gave my Clomid which worked but wasn't a very pleasant drug for me.
We struggled again this time around and I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was in the right frame of mind for losing weight after my diagnosis and lost 20kg. I'm now coming up to 9 weeks pregnant. I do think a lot of that was due to the weight loss.
Best of luck!

MagpieCursedTea Thu 02-Jun-16 22:54:13

I struggled conceiving DS when I was very heavy and my GP gave my Clomid which worked but wasn't a very pleasant drug for me.
We struggled again this time around and I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was in the right frame of mind for losing weight after my diagnosis and lost 20kg. I'm now coming up to 9 weeks pregnant. I do think a lot of that was due to the weight loss.
Best of luck!

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