ttc - does anyone else get fed up with needing to BD at times when you wouldn't normally being having sex?

[sleepyted]

I don't have a very high sex drive at the best of times, so find "needing" to BD in order to conceive gets me down sometimes. Anyone else feel like this?

[wishing1]

Yes, but if we don't bd when needed, we don't get a baby. Just think sweet baby thoughts and "go for it" the sooner the prego then sex can return to normal. Every month I'm thinking damn I can't wait to go back to normal spontaneous sex, it will be so much less stressful, right now it's worrying about my work hours and his when ovulating and making sure we take a nap so we aren't tired and can kindof enjoy, etc. very stressful when it comes to "needed" sex. But I just try and think of the sooner the prego then we can relax and go back to normal sex again!

[sleepyted]

Um, yes, I do get that!! It's just a bit of a strain sometimes and I just wondered if anyone else felt the same as it doesn't seem to be mentioned on the ttc boards too much. Everyone else seems to relish the prospect!!

[Tommy]

I found it very tiresome and just added stress to an already stressful situation. I think you just have to hope that every so often the times when you "need" and the times when you "want" co-incide!
Good luck

[imreadyforababy]

Hi Sleepy and Wishing, i do normally have a high sex drive so i thought that lots of BD would be no problem for us but i feel with each month that goes by (this is only month 3) the more difficult its becoming.

I think it due to the pressure. Normally we would have sex when we both fancied it but now its like oh i'm feeling fertile lets go for it.

Romance god what is romance, we used to finish bd and have a cuddle now i lie with my legs in the air for twenty minutes, very romantic lol.

The baby thoughts are whats getting me through it and i know it will all be worth it in the end.

[Marshmellow]

My dh finds it a real turn off if he knows we're only "doing it" for that one purpose. Trying to be convincingly sexy and always wanting it is hard work! Looking forward to when we do have another though

[babylove123]

Hi,

Man i'd love to be interested in it at the right times! TBH, i enjoy "other things" because i dont feel close to DP during sex, feel a bit stupid infact so its kinda the anti-climax!

I get a babygrow out to spur it on!

[seaside72]

Hi sleepyted- You are not alone believe me !! I know EXACTELY how you feel (have actually just posted on the Hut of Glum thread - here )
Have had a rubbish 2 nights with DH as we have argued instead of BDed on the 2 most fertile days for me - Sobbed last night and now just feel angry as it seems pointless to try and have more "forced" BDing now anyway.

[lissielou]

miss raunchy sex its a bit of a turn off to know that we have to bd in the right position and i have to shove my legs in the air for 45 mins after. i know that thne min we relax blah blah blah but goddammit i want a baby!!!

[lissielou]

dh never seems to be in the mood on my fertile days. bastard

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

"Its a bit of a turn off to know that we have to bd in the right position and i have to shove my legs in the air for 45 mins after".

Lizzielou

Both the above apart from turn offs are myths. Adopt a position if its fun but you don't have to do any one position in order to get pregnant.

With regards to the legs in the air sentence you don't have to do that either!. Some leakage after intercourse is normal and enough sperm will get to the cervix from where they won't escape.

Generally speaking as well timing of intercourse is often a mistake and can do more harm than good particularly if one of you does not feel like having sex. Making love two or three times a week throughout your cycle is fine.

[greedyforbabies]

to all of you on here.........can i just say from my experience....that when you do get pg the sex is better than ever! i felt really horny right up to the end with both of my pregnancies, so it makes up for all the high pressure sex when ttc!

[greedyforbabies]

and atilla, i disagree with you completely. obviously you can get pg in any position and without putting your legs in the air afterwards.....BUT by having sex in certain positions and raising your legs after it INCREASES your chances of concieving. so i say keep lifting those legs girls!

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Feel free to disagree with me but I would like to see proper evidence (not anecdotal) that raising your legs in the air post intercourse actually works. The short answer is that there is no evidence to suggest that such measures help.

[lissielou]

tbh, with ds we were ttc for 6y since ds ive had 3 mc, i will do anything to increase my chances of achieving a successful pg. i just miss love-making

[TrinityRhino]

whats BD?

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

lissielou

Has your GP made any comment?.

Has anyone ever suggested that investigations are done for fertility problems?. I was of the opinion that women are put forward for further investigation after having three miscarriages.
Am very sorry to read that you've had three miscarriages to date.

[lissielou]

was that a "its been so long" perchance?

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

BD - babydancing (lovemaking)

[lissielou]

yes, got consultant appt on 1st feb. its at least 3 mcs coz ive had 2 more un-confirmed. but ive read so many books/articles etc on ttc that i think you reach the point where it does take over your relationship and become an obsession. a while ago we tried bding every other day and that was v hard, i love dh and i fancy him but i miss cuddles and not calender-watching. we have more sex now than ever before but its hard not to focus on the possibility of an end result iykwim

[jabuti]

legs up.... hmmmm... it just doesnt make sense? how can that help conception? what if the weight of your legs help to squeeze something out of your uterus instead of keeping it inside? not standing up right away can make some sense, but legs up....

i wish we could relax when we are trying to get pregnant, i know its hard to do it. but having sex everyday didnt help me, when i finally let it go it happened.

[Piffle]

God yes but if it had not been for a rain elay at Wimbledon...
I'd not be 31 wks pregnant now

[greedyforbabies]

legs up makes perfect sense! anatomically ( believe me i studied anatomy and physiology at uni and have chopped up enough cadavers to know), it makes perfect sense! a pillow under your bum is even better in my opinion. it allows a small thing like gravity to work with the seminal fluid instead of against it!
i know for a fact, that if i lie down afterwards with a pillow under my bum i dont get any 'leakage' until at least an hour later. BUT if we do the deed and then i get straight up and walk around afterwards all the seminal fluid leaks straight out. its just common sense, nothing to do with anecdotes!

[Ready]

since we are talking about leakage... I try to lay still for as long as possible after the deed... but when I stand up I still leak. Why isn't it going where it should??