2nd child after emergency caesarean

(16 Posts)
sphinxster Fri 05-Feb-16 10:39:11

Our first child was born in September at 36 weeks by emergency caesarean and spent some time in NICU. He's now healthy and appears to be typically developing and happy.

I'm no spring chicken and wanted a small age gap between children (if possible).

My OB has advised waiting for one year post-op before trying again. I really want to start trying again in a couple of months (6 months post-op). Of course it may not happen until after the year anyway (if at all).

Does anyone have any experience of getting pregnant after emcs? Is it really best to wait or is that just being over cautious?

AmyB1986 Fri 05-Feb-16 12:09:52

Hi- me and my DH started trying after 6 months post emcs. I fell pregnant almost 1 year to the day of my cs.
However my friend had a cs and fell pregnant within 4 weeks of having her baby. She had some issues with bleeding for 4 months but her son is now 14.
I think it depends how well you have recovered from your initial op. It is major abdominal surgery and you have to remember scar tissue doesn't stretch like normal tissue.
Personally I had no issues at all with my second pregnancy but I did have some pain in my scar and it would itch like crazy. 6 years on and it still itches.

hedgehog01 Fri 05-Feb-16 13:40:54

Personally, I would wait a bit longer. How old are you though? That does affect things, doesn't it?

sphinxster Fri 05-Feb-16 16:31:09

Thanks for your replies.

Amy that's two reassuring stories. I suppose that's why I'm thinking of trying when ds is 6 months as it might take a while anyway.

Hedge I'm classed as a geriatric mother confused

I live in a country where people are quite honest brutal and my OB said "don't try for one year but after one year you must try again because you're old " blush----
----
Also, while we're living overseas, we only need my husband's wage and I work part time to keep my professional registration and skills, which is lovely. When we move back to the uk we'd probably need both salaries (depending on lifestyle choices). I want to move back to the uk before ds starts school so I wanted number 2 quite quickly but not if it's going to affect my health and ability to care for ds.

hedgehog01 Fri 05-Feb-16 16:58:38

So am I! I still waited, though. To be honest, it's been so knackering I've only really felt ready again recently. If you were 40, I'd go for it. 35, I'd wait a bit!

sphinxster Fri 05-Feb-16 17:12:43

Hedge How old is your baby?

Therightthing16 Fri 05-Feb-16 17:44:11

3!

AmyB1986 Fri 05-Feb-16 17:54:18

Sphinxster my two had a 21 month gap between them. It was so hard having two young children in nappies, breastfeeding one while the other had done a poo and couldn't get up to change her whilst feeding the baby.
They're 6 & 7 almost 8 now. It is exhausting and I'm only 29!
Looking back now I think I was a little hasty trying again so soon. I had the overwhelming urge straight from giving birth to my eldest DD though.

It could take you a while to conceive again, it took 7 months for me after my cs but it's just the luck of the draw really. You could fall pregnant straight the way you never know

HungryHorace Fri 05-Feb-16 20:54:42

I have a 13 month gap between EMCS and ELCS. I was 36 and 37 when they were born (same reason as you're giving for wanting a small gap).

I didn't want a VBAC and nobody tried to convince me to have one. (DS ended up being a transverse unstable lie so he was destined to be ELCS anyway!)

If I were you I'd go for it if that's what you want to do.

Owllady Fri 05-Feb-16 20:59:13

I'd wait the full year. Your body needs to recover smile

Iwonderif Sun 07-Feb-16 16:31:22

I was told to wait just two periods after my first section so my body was returning to normal. I had had an EMCS. My son died shortly after birth so the need to be pregnant again quickly was supported by my consultant. 4 months later I was pregnant. I was totally fine. Had ELCS, DD. 3 years later had another ELCS with DS2. So in 4 years I had 3 sections. I recovered well from each and no problems during any pregnancies or births or afterwards.

Hope all our opinions help. All the very best & good luck. flowers

sphinxster Sun 07-Feb-16 16:44:33

Iwonderif I'm very sorry to hear about your ds. Just hijacking my own thread: I hope you don't find this insensitive or rude. My friend's baby passed away 5 weeks ago at 53 days old. We've been talking lots about whether she wants to try again soon or wait (she also had a caesarean). How did you feel / cope with having another baby so soon? It'd be nice to be able to pass on your experience to her, or tell me to piss off.

I have my heart set on trying again after the 6 months and these positive stories have reinforced it. You never know, maybe it'll take years anyway.

Thanks all.

OhShutUpThomas Sun 07-Feb-16 16:50:58

I've got a 21 month gap between first 2 DC and I'm currently 11 weeks with DC3. All being well, there'll be a 25 month gap this time.
So that'll be 3 sections in 4 years. Midwives don't seem to bothered so far.

Borninthe60s Sun 07-Feb-16 16:53:48

I had an unplanned eighteen month age gap. Mine are 22 and 23 now so things may be different but with no 2 I was given a 12 hour trial of labour and they monitored pains very closely as to wether it was scar pain or labour pain (probably concerned that scar on uterus would rupture). My labours were very similar I dilated to 8cm and stopped. After 12 hour induced labour with no 2 I had another section as I failed to progress.

Iwonderif Sun 07-Feb-16 20:11:23

I don't mind you asking at all. I'm very very sorry to hear of your friends loss. My condolences flowers

There was a great need to bring a baby home. It overruled all my other thoughts. It's very common for parents to feel this way. It's called empty arms syndrome. I can remember my husband & I even when I still in hospital discussing trying again. To some that may sound dreadful but it's very natural for parents to feel that way. I was dreading the consultant saying to wait a year but he just wanted to see my periods returning to normal before we could try again. So in the September my periods returned and I became pg in the October. Found out at the end of the Nov.

It wasn't an "easy" pregnancy mentally but I had amazing support from my GP's midwives and consultant. The innocence of pregnancy is lost once you've had a baby that's died. I was monitored closely but only for my mental well being and not because the baby needed to be monitored. I was still grieving for my son but the pregnancy gave me focus and when she arrived she gave me and my husband and our family a real sense of purpose. She saved me. She was never created to replace our son and the sense of his loss has never and will never leave me. I've accepted that. DS2 arrived when DD was 3. Again I was looked after very well.

There will never be a right time to try again for another child. Everyone is different however but the majority of parents do tend to try again pretty soon after. I couldn't have waited a year which is what folk tend to say to parents who have lost a child. Wait until all the "firsts" have been & gone. It makes no difference. I'm 10 years on this year and his birthday is still an incredibly demanding and sad day. The only thing that would halt a couple trying would be unless medically you had to.

Hope what I have said is of some help/comfort to your friend. By all means you can PM or DM me (whatever it's referred to on here!) should she want to ask any more questions)

I wish you all the best OP in future pregnancies & the same for your friend. I hope she's receiving lots of love & support. flowers

sphinxster Sun 07-Feb-16 20:49:59

Iwonderif thank you for sharing and taking the time to respond. I'll tell her about your experience when I see her this week. We were talking last night about how mentally and emotionally difficult another pregnancy would be and 'empty arms syndromes' describes exactly how they're both feeling.

Thank you. Best wishes to you and your family. thanks

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