Hi all
I usually love Christmas but this year I've found it quite miserable and very difficult. My fiance and I have been TTC since November 2014 so last Christmas I was full of hope, secretly enjoying what I thought and hoped would be our last Christmas without children and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Fast forward to this Christmas: it dawned on me that last year was supposed to be our last one without children yet here we are, still no pregnancy and I feel like we're entering a year of heartbreak. My sister her partner and my 2 nephews 3 and 5years have been over from Spain for Xmas and I came back to my parents so we were all together, whilst I've loved seeing my nephews it's also made me feel even more sad that we may never have a family to enjoy Xmas with. Added to this are the wider family get together where everyone asks when we are having children which is like a massive kick in the stomach plus my sister's partner (father of nephews) is just rubbish and we've all found it hard to bite our tongues when he''s being annoying or not playing with the boys and that makes me sad as my partner spends so much time playing with my nephews and really deserves to be a father, he'd be so great.
So we are entering 2017 where my partner is going for a sperm analysis (we didn't do it before Xmas as I knew I couldnt cope with the bad news before xmas) but now I'm just dreading next year. I've told no friends and only casually told my mum but not told her how miserable and sad it is making me, I told her we'd only just started trying! I don't know why I'm posting this really I guess just to see if anyone else is in the same position or can offer some advice or support or words or words of wisdom or just an ear to listen?! How are other people feeling about starting the year TTC??should I just prepare myself for a shit year and find some inner woman strength?!
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found Christmas hard
8 replies
funnybeanz · 28/12/2015 18:58
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