I appreciate that this is probably one for the post-40 conception thread, and if anyone from there reads this and comments, then that would be fab...
I had DD at 41 in November 13, conceived naturally although tests had shown low fertility in Feb 13 (AHM 2.5). Was about to do IVF when conceived naturally.
Assumed I'd only have one child as this felt like a 'miracle' conception, but urge to have another hit hard in early post-natal period, and started trying when she was about 9 months. Conceived third or so month, but MMC at 10 weeks last February (just after 43rd birthday).
Been trying since February, no luck, though we time it well and I ovulate every month, though admittedly don't do it enough (2 or 3 times only but timing is usually right). (Recently had an unrelated pelvic scan, and the sonographer happened to say that I had a good lot of follicles... and couldn't believe I'd ever had a low AHM reading... but who knows. I'm sure the quality is rubbish anyway).
DH never as keen as me for no. 2 (he's 46, I'm 44 in January, DC turning 2). We've pretty much given up. Should I keep going? Really really wanted a sibling for DC... but fear MC and other problems in pregnancy. DH thinks it won't happen now and I should just accept it. (Some days I feel as though I would do donor eggs, I'm that desperate, but I know he'd never want that. Other days I'm happy to count my blessings and be done. One child feels like enough).
Would you keep trying? Is there any hope left (or non-dodgy eggs, more to the point?). Would love to hear thoughts on having number 2 so well into the 40s, or with living with and accepting that I only have the one child (and I know I am beyond being blessed with her... utterly utterly blessed. I am so grateful for her and I hope that I don't come across as ungrateful!
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Should I try again at nearly 44?
jollyroger2 · 21/11/2015 23:22
Difficult. I do know a couple of people who had their second at your age, it's not impossible.
However as you know (I'm so sorry for your loss), miscarriage rate keeps on increasing so even getting pregnant is no guarantee of a baby to hold.
Ultimately, you could keep on trying until you hit menopause and choosing to use contraception when you want a baby is so, so hard, but so is the waiting each month, the disappointment and it goes on and on unless you get lucky.
Do you think you're in a place where you could put a time limit on it? Or do you think you'd get to your limit and want to continue? I'm not in a place to judge either way as I set a limit (at 40) and was lucky enough to conceive the month I turned 40 after 3 years of nothing and I know that I wouldn't have stopped then (although I suspect I would have by 43, partly because by then the age gap would have been so large - ds1 was 6.5 when ds2 was born).
You don't come across as ungrateful btw 
I think I remember Freckles from the 40+ thread, mainly because she has such a wonderful story in conceiving her DC#4!
I'm also now a fan of Inshock with her encouraging anecdotes for age 45 - 47 (and congratulations on her DD too)!
If it helps to think there are others in a similar-ish position - I can say that I conceived my first aged 43, naturally and pretty easily, then DD arrived when I was very nearly 44. Given my age, it was always the plan to start trying once she was around 6 months old, but I ran into some poor health issues and lost a LOT of time. I did fall pregnant on my 45th birthday, but sadly had a MMC at 10 weeks. And yes the miscarriage was distressing, but its not like it only happens to women over 40 (or 45+) - it could've happened at any age.
I had thought I could set a time limit on TTC - a bit like Sleepyhead suggested - but for me, I've found it too difficult to switch off wanting another child like a tap, just because I've reached some arbitrary date. Several 'deadlines' have come and gone so I've given up making them - even now at 46 
, there's a few months of trying left in me yet, I think. (And if we were lucky enough to get pregnant, I'd have no qualms about parenting; its not as if I struggle in any way to run round after my now 2 year old - I probably over-compensate, if anything.)
I hope you're not too hung up on AMH. I've no idea what mine is now (it was already lower than your 2.5 a year ago), but whilst the rest of my tests (FSH, follicle count) are OK, I'm trying to ignore it.
I know AMH is supposed to be the gold standard for quantity of ovarian reserve, but (as far as I know) I don't think it directly measures egg quality - more that there's an assumption that low quantity is bound to correlate to low quality. Then on the other hand, you read plenty of individual stories of women who conceived with very low/undetectable AMH and I recently read an article by an IVF clinic in New York, saying they'd established 50 pregnancies in women who had very low/undetectable AMH, since they'd started supplementing that category of patient with DHEA. Still, if anyone else could explain further/differently about AMH, I'd be grateful.
If I were you I'd be VERY encouraged by your pelvic scan. You said the sonographer wasn't particularly looking for follicles (the scan being for another purpose) but still said you had a "good lot of follicles" - and an amount which didn't match up with a low AMH reading. Surely that's great news?
From what you say, it sounds like you really do want another child, and I'm struggling to see a reason for you NOT to at least try ...
How do you work out your timing - do you use OPK's?
Perhaps consider posting on the over 40 TTC thread (here)? And you could always look at the pregnant at 40 and over thread for inspiration (here)!
Congratulations jollyroger2 how fantastic! It gives me hope (I'm approaching 38) - I'm ttc#1, nearly 2 years now and a mc at 6 weeks in May last year, so I love stories likes yours. All the best
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