Desperate to start ttc no 2 but timing is bad :(

[AuroraBor86]

Not sure if this is the best place to post but exactly what the title says.
Dd is almost 2 and I'm desperate to start ttc baby no 2. It's taken a while to get to this point as parenting has been tough but I feel ready and dh wants another too.
But an unstable work situation does not make this an appropriate time to start ttc.
Tell me we are doing the right thing waiting (even though we really want to be starting soon)
Tbh the next year or 2 could be unstable work wise although I couldn't wait that long, but it's right that we let things settle for a bit...Right??

[UnlikelyPilgramage]

You say you couldn't wait that long but you obviously can - you mean you really don't want to. :)

That's fine but - own it.

How unstable is work?

[AuroraBor86]

You are right, I just don't want to :)
It's dhs job. He's on a probation period at work until end of Oct if he passes he'll be on a rolling 8-12 week temp contract and won't hear if he has a permanent role until around May-June time. He's only ever had year long temp contracts before so has moved jobs a lot but this is a lot shorter time period.

[AuroraBor86]

Oh and I'd don't want to wait until May-June time as if he doesn't get the permanent role he'll likely go back to a yearly temp job elsewhere so still no long term security and I'd feel like we just keep postponing year after year.
What to do?!?!

[simplydivine05]

I postponed year after year so don't worry about it. We finally got the house 12 months ago and my health had improved but then I had to deal with my weight. Got that into a healthy is range in July and then started ttc. My ds is now 7 so a big gap but I'm not top concerned. I'm glad we waited as I know that the financial stress on me with ds (prev relationship ex didn't work, ever) just caused post natal depression. I was so miserable and didn't enjoy pregnancy as I worked far too hard and for far too long, with any an occasion where I was in hospital for a night then straight back to work without ever recuperating. It just isn't worth the stress!

[AuroraBor86]

Thanks. I think it's frustrating as we had started planning and it's all been stopped suddenly. I don't think I could wait until dd is 7! Maybe it's right that we hold off a while even though it's hard.

[DrWhy]

I understand your frustration, we were (maybe still are??) thinking of TTC No.1 in December but myself and DH just been given a redundancy warning (same industry) - this whole process could go on for up to 7 months from now with 2 chances at internal jobs rounds now and early next year. It's obviously going to be impossible to get another job if I'm pregnant but I'm nearly 35 so time is not on my side.
I guess it depends on how important the age gap is to you, how old you are now and how financially stable you would be if your DH's contract wasn't renewed and he had a period without work?

[AuroraBor86]

Oh dr that sounds really tough. I'm 30 next year so we still have time. I think half of it is the disappointment that your plans that you were so excited about have changed.
Financially we would survive as we have some savings and fortunately I know our parents would step in should we ever get into any major difficulty (although I would never want to rely on their help if it has been because we made a poor decision)
We have been in this position before as dh was told that one of his previous contracts was not going to be renewed about a week after we found out we were expecting dd. He was out of work from the July until the Jan (dd arrived in the Dec) We coped on my wage but were relieved that he got something within the first few weeks of me being on maternity leave.
The issue this time would be that we would be knowingly putting ourselves in possible trouble.

[Alanna1]

There are so many factors here, nobody but you knows the answers. Is there such a big financial difference for you between one and two? If your partner loses his job would he do childcare? Do you want two children close in age or more spread apart? How easily did you conceive with DC1? How old are you? Etc.