New to MumsNet - feeling emotional whilst TTC

[TTCSinceMay15]

Hi all,

I am new to Mums Net but have followed a few threads on here through Google search. Decided to join and start a new thread to get a bit of advice (& some cheering up).

We are both 25 and have been married for over a year. We haven't told anyone that we are TTC our first baby as we do not want any added pressure. Ever since getting married the main question everyone has asked is "when is it baby time?" - we simply shrug and say "not sure, maybe soon..." Even that question makes me feel pressurised.

We are in cycle #3 and my period is late. I usually have a period every 30-32 days and it is currently day 35. I've had a little period pain around 4 days ago, yesterday I had lower back pain.

Anyway, I just took a clear blue test to find a big "not pregnant" display.

I truly thought this was our month, stupidly thinking about how perfect timing it will be as I'm seeing my family this bank holiday weekend and I would be able to tell everyone. I shouldn't get my hopes up but I do every month and it makes me really emotional.

I just feel fed up, and this is only after the third time. I expect it will take a lot longer. I am seriously unsure why I haven't come on my period - could it be the stress/pressure I'm putting myself under?

Sorry for being a bit down, I think I just need cheering up with some good news.

[waitingforarainbow]

Hi TTC. I think any amount of TTC when you so badly want to get pregnant is difficult, and it's always upsetting when you get a BFN. But I think most replies on here will tell you that three months really is no time at all. There are people on this forum who have been trying for years, or have had multiple losses. I personally have been trying for five months since a MMC at 10 weeks.

I know it's upsetting and frustrating, but I would just keep trying and don't stress about it too much. Just think to yourself 'if I'm not pregnant within a year, THEN I can start stressing about it'. Chances are you will be pregnant by then. And even if you're not, it doesn't mean anything is necessarily wrong - it's all just a great big lottery, sadly.

Are you charting your ovulation so that you know your fertile period? This definitely helps. If you know when you ovulated, you should be able to work out exactly when your period is due too.

[TTCSinceMay15]

Thanks waitingforarainbow. I'm sorry to hear your sad news, I hope everything works out for you soon.

I'm not sure how to 'chart' my ovulation. I use a period tracker and assume that my ovulation is she the app says so, which probably isn't accurate. It doesn't help that my period date changes every month so I should probably start doing the temperature thing. Do you know if there's anything else I should try.

I guess I'm just worrying already and stressing myself out that I won't be able to get pregnant. I just wish my period would come so I can roll on to the next cycle. I'm being silly, I need to prepare myself that it will take a long time.

I was diagnosed with PCOS about 3 years ago when I was heavier, but then after losing weight my periods returned so a fairly normal, regular pattern and so GP said to come off medication. I haven't made my GP aware that I am TTC so maybe I will if no luck in next few months.

Good luck to you waitingforarainbow

[waitingforarainbow]

Thanks, TTC.

If your periods aren't completely regular, it's very easy to miss your fertile window (which is only about 6 days max per month, around ovulation). There are only really 3 days a month where you've got a good chance of getting pregnant, then about three days where you've got a very small chance. So unless you DTD every other night, you could be missing some/all of your fertile window each month.

Your best options are to DTD every other day throughout the month (which is a less stressful approach, but obviously a lot of DTD!) or use OPKs to get an idea of when you'll ovulate. If you Google OPKs you can find lots of information. I use them and they're a godsend for identifying my fertile window and knowing when my period is due. You can also chart your temperature, but this is a bigger commitment.

Three months really isn't long at all, especially if you're not tracking ovulation and aware of your fertile window. In fact, without timing DTD around your fertile window, you would actually be VERY lucky to ge pregnant within three months, IMO.

Good luck and hope you get your BFP soon. X

[sophied1983]

Happy to chat. I am feeling a bit up and down too. PM me?