I'm a nervous wreck

[Ammy12]

I know I'm being really stupid and you will all tell me so but here goes.......

I'm 25 with a beautiful 3 year old and am marrying next year. I have a coil in at the mo but really want to try for a baby next year. The only thing is I'm miserable, unhappy. nervous anxious, a wreck cos I'm convinced I won't have another baby. Why do I feel like this? I have a lovely partner, a gorgeous girl who I had no trouble conceiving but I'm just carrying this heavy feeling in my chest that I will have no more children. I can't bear it anymore, I feel like having my coil out now just to MAKE SURE I can get pregnant. It sounds so stupid but this feeling is sooooo real. Somebody help me feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxx

[fortyplus]

It's just a strong maternal instinct - your body is telling you it's time to have another baby but the practicalities of life mean it's not right just yet. THERE IS NO REASON WHY YOU WON'T HAVE ANOTHER CHILD There - hope that makes you feel better

[Ammy12]

Thank you- I feel so low, just reading that has made me cry. That is so true- I am so ready to have another baby. I cant watch discovery home and health right now. It makes me feel wretched.

[sleeplessinhants]

Ammy, Your 25 years YOUNG! and your getting married hopefully to your life long partner. By all means get the coil removed if it will make you feel better but enjoy getting/being married before having another baby because you know how much hard work it is and once that much wanted new baby comes along you will never have that same time together. Your not being stupid but do speak to your partner and let them know how you are feeling. Have a very happy life

[fortyplus]

Ammy12 - you're going through an emotional time but as sleepless says you've got your whole life ahead of you.
When you look at your dd and want another baby it HURTS, doesn't it?
Be patient and enjoy life with your wedding to look forward to and your lovely little girl. You'll probably end up having six! LOL

[Ammy12]

God yeah- I've never felt so bad in my life. This sounds odd but I even feel incredibly guilty that I might deprive fiancee and daughter of kids/brother or sister. its bizarre. I just cant explain how worried I am. Feel like a selfish cow when I read about people trying desparately to have ONE child and heres me whinging that I might not have MORE than one!

[Ammy12]

This might sound daft as well but have just read a post and the lady says she was 12 weeks pregnant when she had her coil removed- eh??? you cant surely get preganant with that instrument of torture inside you can you????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lulumama]

ammy - would be very rare to become preganant with a coil


2 things


why not try for a baby now if waiting is making you so distressed?

and


had this conversation today with a girlfriend whos baby is 6 months old and she does want more , but is suddenly worried she won;t get pregnant again! I know i worried..but got pregant with DD just fine!

you have age on your side.....try not to worry ( silly i know!) and enjoy your LO now and plannning for the future.....

[fortyplus]

Ammy12 - I think it's WORSE wanting a child when you've got one already! Your thoughts are irrational but it sure as hell doesn't make them any less real. I think you should maybe talk to your dp about your feelings - a trouble shared is a trouble halved and all that. But if you went ahead and got pregnant now it would mean you might not be able to get married when planned.

Can I ask you a personal question - is your partner the father of your child?

[Ammy12]

No he isnt- but as close as you can get!

[Ammy12]

you sound like you know exactly how i feel? have you felt the same fortyplus? x

[fortyplus]

I found it painful to stop at two. I ache with love for them - I remember the last time i bf ds2 thinking i'd never bf another baby - your hormones drive you nuts, don't they?

I really think that you are filled with love for your dd and dp - he's showing his love and commitment to you and you want to make your relationship complete.

I can really understand why you feel that way, but I'm sure if you talk to him about it he'll put your mind at rest.

Look forward to your wedding - he's probably looking forward to the time that you spend as a couple and a family before you have a child together.

I'm just one of those people that people talk to - so i've heard a lot of similar stories over the years (old enough to be your mum, you've probably guessed!)

Honestly... best advice... talk to him about it xxx

[Ammy12]

thank you fortyplus- uv put my mind at rest x

[fortyplus]

LOL

[fortyplus]

ps this SO reminds me of a good friend who was pregnant by a real 'rough diamond' who had no intention of staying with her. Then she met her dh - when she was 2 mnths pg. He soon knew she was pg but stuck with her & was there at the birth. They ended up getting married and having a child together. Her ds1 is 17 and ds2 is 12 and they're still very happily married.