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Conception

Viroids get your Miroid to stick his manjo in your fanjo and the jizz-bombs will go off! They're famous for their super support (and butter fannys), there will be BFPS...it's JSing 44!!

999 replies

Hobbit19 · 19/04/2015 22:27

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.


JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

The link to Part 42 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found [www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies? HERE]]

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
lildottie · 19/04/2015 22:34

Oh god, I was dreading writing these stats but here goes...

Name: Lil
Age: 30 (wahhhhhh)
DCs: none
Ttc: 2.5years, 1 round of ivf ended in mc at 5weeks.

maemay · 19/04/2015 22:39

Name: Mae
Age: 27
DC: none, and no furries either.
TTC: April 2015 - first cycle TTC!

LaLaLaaaa · 19/04/2015 22:39

Fuck me - is it seriously 44??

Lil you're a wee spring chicken.

Name: la
Age: 34
Ttc: since July 2013, mc sept 2014
DC: 2 furry orange cats and incubating an aubergine DC1 due July

Nice one pud! I love a buttery fanjo I do

honeysucklejasmine · 19/04/2015 22:41

Name: Honey
Age: 27? 28? No, 27... Shit! 28!
TTC: Aug 14, mc Sept 14
DC: Nada.

Like the new edits Pud Wink

Niffertiti · 19/04/2015 23:03

Niffertiti
33
No DCs
TTC June 2014 MC March 2015

Lovely new Fred title. I felt physically sick upon reading about babydancing, baby dust and whatever other shite it is grown women post about elsewhere. Personally speaking.

returns to unobtrusive lurking and shagging with intent

SunshinePickle · 19/04/2015 23:08

Name: SunshinePickle
Age: 27
DCs: two reluctant cat-babies
TTC: since Nov '14

Nessalina · 20/04/2015 03:55


Sexy thread title, gowaaaan viroids! Wink I'm excited that goady thread has lead to the introduction of rule 5 Grin
Happy shagging one and all, gx for many BFPs on the fred xx
fallenstar27 · 20/04/2015 04:52

Name: Fallen
Age: 25
DC: Zero. One furbaby
TTC: March 15

Loving all the they're/their/there's!

Hobbit19 · 20/04/2015 06:21

Ha! Glad you noticed that fallen, I was wondering if it was a bit subtle!

Name: Pud
Age: 29
Ttc: Jan 2015
DC: 2 cats and incubating a poppy seed (eek!)

OP posts:
5hell · 20/04/2015 06:33

Name: 5hell
Age: 34
DC: Zero
TTC: Jan 15, MC April 15

CountryGal4 · 20/04/2015 06:59

Name: country
Age 27
Dc two cats and a dh
Ttc jan 15

Still bonkers fanjo 28 42 38 32 day cycles

Is an 11 day lp long enough.

Thanks for all the kind words on the boards viroids. Glad to have you all. There's no way I could get through it without you mad,filthy lot

jellypi3 · 20/04/2015 07:18

Name: Jelly
Age: 25
DC's: none, two cats, two guinea pigs and one grumpy miroid
TTC: I'm going to say October this time. I like to change it up.

Love the new Fred title pud!!

country anything over 10 days is considered long enough :)

Prepping for my drive to Wales today taking a detour via reading to pick up the miroid. The things we do for love.

gaggiagirl · 20/04/2015 07:24

Name: Gaggia
Age: 32
DC: Nearly 4yo DD
TTC: July 14, MC Oct 14
Currently upduffed nearly 16wks

CountryGal4 · 20/04/2015 07:31

Thanks jelly.

Ga! No way 16 already ?!?

Couldn't help chucking my opinion in on that thread

nutellawithbananas · 20/04/2015 07:31

Name: nutellawithbananas
age: 39 (eek big one this year...)
Dc: nearly 2 year old DD
ttc: March 15

Recently returned to the JS buxom and loving it...

bellybuttonfluffy · 20/04/2015 07:44

Name: Fluffy
Age: 24
DC: One adorable fluffy woof
Ttc: April 15

Love the title! Grin

goodnessgraciousgouda · 20/04/2015 07:56

Name: Gouda
Age: 30
Ttc: Under dispute. II would say since Jan 15. DH would say since March 2015.

I'm officially in the two week wait now. I'm already mentally dismissing this month. Fertile days were supposed to be from 10th - 16th, with ovulation on the 15th.

Unfortunately one of my really good friends was in town on the 16th - from Australia - and I couldn't exactly say to her "sorry I won't come and see you because I have to copulate with my spouse for optimum chances of conception". DH never finishes work early enough to do anything before we go out (if we are going out).

So this month we dtd on 8th, 10th, 12th, 14th....17th. I am pretty sure I ovulated bang on time, so basically, we are screwed.

I've been looking at houses to console myself. Houses which I COULD NEVER AFFORD EVER.

I have decided that THIS is pretty much my perfect house.

PERFECTO MUNDO

jellypi3 · 20/04/2015 08:11

gouda if you iced on 16th then doing it on 14th is fine. Spermies live for up to 5 days :)

Lemondrizzletwunt · 20/04/2015 08:21

Hi you bunch of offensive fuckers Grin

Name: Lemon
Age: 27
DC: Currently 10+4 with a fruit/vegetable sized baby Confused
TTC: Nov14

rehomedcitygirl · 20/04/2015 08:25

Name rehomedcitygirl
Age 30
DC one naughty mutt, no humans
TTC since April 2015

waves at everyone
Nice new fred title!

lildottie · 20/04/2015 08:31

Gouda you are definitely not out. sperm do live for around 5days as jelly says. the fastest get there in about 45mins, the slowest can take 3 days so you have covered your bases well. gx!

ness I've missed something...rule 5?

la yes 44, I've been here for 30 threads Sad so I don't feel so young! especially not in fertility terms! I've entered a new age bracket! x

honeysucklejasmine · 20/04/2015 08:32

Gouda that's fine, you DTD the day before! Perfecto.

That house.... Nah. Not enough cupboards in kitchen (and the edge of the compositite work surface is visible! Would need an end strip added. Why is this not done?!) And the counter looks a little disjointed. There is no ensuite to what I would consider the master bedroom, and the study is an odd size. I would always use a dining room as a play room and that one is huge, so might feel a waste, but study far too small for a play room! Lastly, dark wood is a bit much, as is the fully tiled bathroom. Grin If i could afford it, I'd be knocking walls down, retiling and putting in a new kitchen! And this, dear Gouda, is why you're not married to me!

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honeysucklejasmine · 20/04/2015 08:34

Lemon is it lemon sized yet?!

lildottie · 20/04/2015 08:40

oi you lot, why is the old thread not full?!

Nessalina · 20/04/2015 08:47

Lil - in the thread blurb!
5: Thou shalt not be offended by the word vaginaGrin

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