Not much sex and delayed ejaculation

[99problemsandadickisone]

We're going to be childless, aren't we?

The title says it all really.

We have sex two or three times a month and dp suffers from delayed ejaculation. Always has, did with previous partners. And it's not so much delayed as sometimes totally non existent. I would say there's 'success' once every three or four times.

All sounds miserable but actually our relationship is great, plenty of intimacy and we're both happy with frequency and quality of sex. And no he doesn't do the death grip thing I've seen mentioned on here before or watch porn. BUT, how on earth am I going to get pregnant?

We've not used contraception for 18 months or so now but haven't made any effort to have sex at the 'right' time. But I'm not getting any younger etc etc and things being as they are I'm beginning to think we may need to take this a little more seriously.

I'm loathe to tell Dp about dates and cycles etc because he doesn't need the pressure.

Has anyone experienced this and has any words of wisdom? Thank you wise MNetters.

[Boysclothes]

How is he with masturbation? If that works for him, you could use a syringe which has been successful for lots of posters. If you're having sex three times a month, I'd make at least one of those times at your fertile time. He doesn't have to know.

[FlumptyDumpty]

Viagra. My DH had this because of medication. Viagra made things a lot easier for him.

In addition, do you know the reason for the delayed ejaculation? It can sometimes be due to medical conditions, medication or psychological issues. If the latter, CBT and/or hypnotherapy could help. You are right that extra pressure about fertile windows won't help, but you do of course need to be ttc at the right time! Psychotherapeutic treatment could enable him to handle the pressure of this. If it's a medical condition, or could be, he should speak to his GP about treating that condition.

Best of luck!

[99problemsandadickisone]

Thank you.

I think masturbation is ok, but he doesn't do it much. So do people then use a syringe straight away after?

I didn't know Viagra helped with ejaculation - thought it just got you hard.

He just thinks it's trouble 'letting go' and relaxing. He was on ADs which he is weaning himself off.

[Oysterbabe]

Are you completely sure about the death grip thing? My Ex had that and it was a nightmare.

Sounds like AI might be a good solution for you

[Boysclothes]

Yup. He ejaculates in pot, draw it up into a clean syringe, pelvis up on pillow, insert syringe as far as you can, depress plunger, leave syringe in for twenty minutes or so, try and have an orgasm yourself as this helps.

[99problemsandadickisone]

Sounds sexy Boysclothes Will see how we go and maybe do that one later down the line.