TTC when DH works away

[SingingSoftly]

So DH and I are now officially TTC :-) Although, according to my phone, it was pointless, because this is not a fertile day. July and August it won't line up either. He will be here for one fertile day in September. We won't have a really good opportunity until October. It's so frustrating - I'm so excited and just want to get on with it now the decision has been made!

Anybody else in a similar situation?

[Ajords1]

Hi there singingsoftly - in exactly the same boat as you - my hubby works away and this month he left on June 2nd and wont be back until July 2nd, and then we dont know how long for - it is hugely frustrating and, i dont know about you, but i end up resenting DTD when it is not on the fertile days haha!

We have been officially trying since Sep 13, although when i get frustrated at it not happening yet, hubby just says "well if you think about it we haven't really given ourselves a fair shot for many of those months" - so frustrating but i am sure it will all be worth it when we do finally get our BFPs!!

Best of luck - and not that it will help you conceive but just know that you are not alone!! xxx

[SwimmingBee]

I am in the same boat! my DH goes to work on a Monday morning and returns on a Friday eve every week! and guess what I ovulate on a Wednesday!!! something tells me this could be a long wait......

[SingingSoftly]

Thanks Ladies. Oh Ajords1, since September, that's a long time. I suppose I just have to accept that it might take a while. Swimmingbee that is bad luck... The only thing in my favour is that my cycle is a bit irregular, so the days change and phone might be wrong in its predictions. I'm going to try not to obsess about the critical days and just DTD as much as we can whilst he's here! Not much else I can do really! Good luck to both of you too!

[NewLeafExpat]

Yessss I feel your pain ladies, glad there's a place for us here now too!

we've been TTC since January so bloody frustrating. DH works away 4 days, back 1 night, away 4, one day off, away four.... anyway so basically he is away almost 6 days a week. sex has gone from steaming hot and fun to a drag and obligation.

no matter how we try it feels like its for a purpose not for fun which is sad.

but now I feel I've turned a corner and feel more like "it'll happen when it happens" rather than TTC obsessed I have been. let's be honest I am 100000% more obsessed than DH with it all, symptom spotting etc!

anywhooo advise to new TTC-ers with DH who works away: patience, keep busy, don't obsess, don't watch YouTube videos of bfp reveals...

[SwimmingBee]

NewLeafExpat easier said than done! not to get obsessed. he he.
although I know the chances are slim for us each month I still find my self symptom spotting. This week its that I have been feeling sick since last Monday so have of course convinced myself its a symptom, the fact that I didn't ov till last Wednesday doesn't matter! lol.
Good luck to all of you!!

[Beansprout30]

Hiii another one in the same boat dh is away all summer so annoying and away during the week when he is home. So far we have been lucky in that we've been able to dtd at the right tines, unlucky that it hasn't bloody worked yet!!

[SingingSoftly]

NewLeaf that is exactly what I'm worried about. I want to keep the joy and spontaneity but how is that possible when there is so much pressure and so few opportunities?? I suppose it can be a problem for all couples who are TTC, but even worse for us I think

[NewLeafExpat]

heeehee... I honestly thought I'd go into this as we planned: stop BC and basically stop trying to avoid baby and see what happens... welllllll .. TTC brain takes over...!

I honestly have no 'advice' to get over pre-baby brain. but I honestly feel a bit different this cycle, for once I feel like there's no chance I'm pg, just see what happens.. chilled out etc. nothing has changed this month compared to the past 6 obsessive months just mindset change... hopefully it lasts. at least another week before AF.. long may this Zen continue!!

[ClaireF2013]

My husband works away, too :( it is very hard trying to catch the right dates. I am currently in my first two week wait (only started trying after my last period). I am irregular, too, which makes it more difficult! I have just bought a clear blue fertility monitor, though, which I hope will help when he is home. Very frustrating, as I feel like a normal couple trying to conceive will have loads more chances :(

I think I am about 10 days post ovulation now and have been feeling very hot and tired, but my period is due soon, so it could just be that. Humph!

[Cnix]

My DH is hardly ever away and we've been TTC since January. However every month there seems to be something that gets in the way of TTC !! Either I'm sick, he's sick or dd has something wrong, parents staying, total knackeredness or sometimes he's unable to 'deliver the goods' that surely is even more frustrating! This month we missed it because he wasn't well at the weekend, then I wasn't. I thought oh well I don't ovulate for another 6 days so it's fine. I only went and got a + opk today four days earlier than usual. We've got to do it tonight. Hope I can stay awake until footy is over!

[NewLeafExpat]

I just reread my post.. I honestly don't know what happened why I keep saying honestly?! ... haha!

whose got their DH's home for the weekend then?

[ClaireF2013]

Okay, we have only been trying to conceive for one cycle and although I am irregular, according to my period app thing on my phone, only had sex twice in my vaguely fertile period.

Well, I don't think Aunt Flow is coming this month...so there is hope for all the girls who's husbands work away!!

[SwimmingBee]

congrats Claire!

there is hope for us all! xx

[NewLeafExpat]

hiii ladies. hope u are all keeping well with high spirits and jumping your DH as soon as he's home! tww for me and avoiding testing (again)

[SwimmingBee]

how long do you think you will wait to test?
i was expecting af this week, but no sign yet apart from some brown discharge on Monday!

[bradders85]

Hi ladies and Congrats Claire.
It's reassuring to see people are in the same position. My dp work away for weeks on end and we never know when he will be home or how long for!! We have been ttc since August last year, but when you work it out we have probably only had 3/4 decent attempts because he has been away for the rest!!

[NewLeafExpat]

bladders is sounds like you have enough patience at least to cope!
I don't hold much hope for bfp this month but of course as AF arrival date gets nearer u do start to get a little excited by what if.. maybe...

stupidly I have already tested yesterday of course bfn. AF due Saturday and I'm away Friday/Saturday so will test Sunday morning and NOT BEFORE
anyone else due or testing this week?

[NewLeafExpat]

sounds good and exciting swimmingbee ! have u tested?

[SwimmingBee]

no, promised would wait till hubby home at weekend. although i not confident, have none of my usual pms symptoms, just had some creamy discharge yesterday morning!

when is your hubby home? will you be testing soon?

[SwimmingBee]

sorry just read your testing Sunday! i going to try hold out till then too, really not confident

[SingingSoftly]

Congrats Claire! how many tests did you do haha?? Well ladies I am definitely NOT pregnant this month, DH is home and I celebrated this fact by getting thoroughly pissed and carving up the dance floor with our friends!

[SingingSoftly]

Uff btw we are not in the UK, in case you thought we were out before tea time haha! Nights like these though I really wonder about this lovely life we are giving up though... I realise this is not really determined TTC chat! But we are finally independent, have our own house, enough income to basically do what we like and we are about to give it all up!! Do you ever have a slight moment of panic??

[SingingSoftly]

Oh and despite that good luck to everyone testing this week Hope it goes well and ignore me, keep us posted!

[NewLeafExpat]

hi singingsoftly sounds like u enjoyed your night out with DH back! I know what u mean about freedom I think all first time parents have doubts every now and then. DH And I just went away for 2 days to remote tropical island with snakes, jelly fish, stingray, stone fish, spiders, croc sized monitor lizards and have come back covered in 30+ mozzie bites each. SO not exactly a baby friendly holiday!!!

swimmingbee any news?

still no AF for me on Cd33 now I tested last night bfn. so I guess its a no coz I'm a day late now so test would have shown if positive so now just willing in AF to start again for July!

[SwimmingBee]

newleaf i understand its best to test first thing rather than at night so you might not be out yet!

still no sign of af here, tested but bfn but still no real cramps that i normally have the day before so think i am just going to have to sit it out until af shows and can get going again!