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Conception

Another month, another period...

35 replies

ELA88 · 20/05/2014 20:02

Feeling very disheartened today :-( had an awful day at work then find AF has arrived too this evening :-(
I try not to get my hopes up each month but was sure this month would be different! Apparently not! Hey ho!!

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cookielove · 20/05/2014 20:08

Oh no, sorry to hear your having a tough time of it! How long have you been trying?

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dildoos · 20/05/2014 20:13

Hi ladies can I join you both, I got my AF on Friday gone we are now on cycle 39 and very fed up :-( tests are all fine just BAD LUCK I have been told as had 6 mc now. I do have a dd aged 6 and am very lucky to have her after 3 years of trying but DP although is daddy 100% he is not biological daddy and would be amazing to have one that was ours together.
I know I am very lucky to be mummy and she is my world she is desperate for a sibling and cannot understand why it's "not our turn" as her cousins and friends all have siblings or ones on the way.
I know that desperate feeling I really do and would love to keep you company whilst trying yet again Sad x

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ELA88 · 20/05/2014 20:49

Oh no that's really sad :-( if the tests are all fine what do the doctors say? We've only been trying since December 2012 (had a 2 month break in the middle when I moved jobs) but feels like forever, officially on cycle 15 or 16. I spent all my late teens / early 20s trying everything to not get pregnant and now it seems it's not as easy as everyone makes out!! Xx

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cookielove · 20/05/2014 20:58

Ooh I was offering a friendly ear for chat, I know the struggle of ttc, but I am pregnant so don't want to upset you, Blush

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dildoos · 20/05/2014 21:01

Ela - totally get that me too! If only we knew, I took the morning after pill as a 22 year old as forgot 1 pill near the end of the cycle , I should never have bothered! I was married too lol.
Now I am 33 and thinking will it ever happen again?
Gp said nothing they can do as I already have 1 daughter cannot have treatment for fertility on NHS so it's that big step to spend our savings on something that I may mc again? Decisions.
I am in June going to go for NK cells testing as wondering if I suffer this?
How about you ? Have you any children? Are you trying for a first? Have you had any tests?
Sometimes just knowing there is someone on here to vent to after a bad day can help a little!
X

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ELA88 · 20/05/2014 21:03

Ohh not another one :-p it's like a pregnancy epidemic at the moment! Most people I know are either pregnant right now or have a baby!
I shouldn't really moan as there are so many people who have been trying longer, but I'm in a moany mood!!

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dildoos · 20/05/2014 21:03

Cookie don't feel bad, that's wonderful news! Everyone deserves to be a mummy and it's lovely to be so caring to even look on here and take the time to chat to us, give us hope etc x congratulations. When are you due? X

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dildoos · 20/05/2014 21:08

Elsa there are pregnant people every where I look too Confused
I started trying at same time as best friend, I am now god daughter to her little one now 2!
Then my sister in law got pregnant hers is now 18 months and now 5 months pregnant again!
Then my sister had my nephew all these were trying a lot less time than us except for the best friend but that was for her third child.
Now they all just feel they know how too but it's not that simple for all of us sadly. They mean well but sometimes I just cry to myself as no one in the non mumsnet world gets itWink Smile

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cookielove · 20/05/2014 21:15

dildoos I'm due on the 23rd of September, first baby but 2nd pregnancy as had a mmc last year.

I completely get how annoying it is seeing everyone upduffed, but I tried to remember I didn't know what there struggles were!

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ELA88 · 20/05/2014 21:27

dildoos I haven't had any tests or anything, we've tried to keep it a "relaxed" process as I know stress doesn't help! But every month that goes by I do think maybe we should go to the doctor! I currently seem to be accumulating cats as surrogate children so might have to get something sorted sooner rather than later! We had no children yet so this would be our first, my mum always say "it takes time" etc but I don't know how long is a normal amount before seeing someone!

Congratulations cookie the next few months will fly by! Xx

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dildoos · 20/05/2014 21:27

Yes I take that motto too, sadly I know they didn't at all and sister in law rubs it in all the time, bump rubbing, talking as if she were the bump or her little baby girl, saying hurry up and get a baby cousin for us, even though she knows we have mc that amount she is a real idiot at times drives me and DP insane that she could be that selfish not to think at all, but I guess if your that lucky you just fall why would you think anything else?

Sorry to hear you had your struggles but your well and truly on your way to receiving your bundle now which is wonderful news Smile x

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dildoos · 20/05/2014 21:32

Ela I am 33 , I went after 12 months of trying taking into count my age, however apparently he said I could have had tests after 6 months but I was happy bumbling along then. Now I am not happy bumbling I want answers so can be treated but when it's unexplained can be even more frustrating as feel there is nothing I can do to help?
You could go to go now......... Before you run out of space in your house for fear you may get more and more cats Grin
However I love cats .........my daughter has an allergy to cats so cannot have as a pet like I used to when I was 22 but we have 3 fish, can't really stroke them, and they don't really give affection, unsure why we got them really, something to watch whilst I cook tea Wink

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ELA88 · 21/05/2014 19:19

Feeling a bit better today! Even though I had horrendous cramps this morning :-( now remember the reason I went on the pill in the first place! Each month the pain gets so much worse!

I think I might wait one more month and then think about visiting my GP, I just feel like they'll send us away to keep trying as we're only 26 and 29.

Did you fall pregnant with your DD easily or did that take a long time? Xx

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laurano81 · 23/05/2014 12:07

Hi Ela88, I feel the same another month, another period! I am 32 & ttc since Dec , so I'm cd5 of ttc#2 Cycle 7…if I were you I would make an appointment to see your gp…ttc for 12months+ is stressfull & the doc should recognise this! Bring himself with you to show a united front & that you are serious about this! I had CD3 & 7Dpo hormine tests done 2 months ago…check out my thread Temping buddies 2014 I posted the results there…get the tests done this month! Don't doubt yourself just cis the GP won't listen xx

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ELA88 · 23/05/2014 18:17

Hey laurano81 I am thinking of changing GPs during my week off this week, my current GP isn't particularly understanding and had a few issues there.
I bought a basal thermometer last week and some opk, haven't used either yet but downloaded the fertility friend app so once AF is finished think I'll start temping. At least then I will have more of an idea if I'm actually ovulating or not!
All very stressful and work doesn't help! My poor cats are going to be bald from me stroking them all the time! Such a mad cat lady! Xx

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Jenijena · 23/05/2014 18:44

Please can I join the pity party? Month 10 ttc #2, AF arrived this morning, both of us a bit tearful over dinner and then BIL's txt arrived announcing pregnancy. Their first is a week older than DS. I am trying oh so hard to count my blessings, feel good for them and supportive for DH who had taken this as a real kick in the guts but inside I'm crying.

HmmHmmHmm

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ELA88 · 23/05/2014 19:09

jenijena it's so hard isn't, a horrible bittersweet moment when you want to be so pleased for someone but at the same time hate the unfairness! Then I feel guilty for feeling like that, horrible :-( hope you're ok though, a big hug to you xx
DH and I have been arguing so much recently as I'm finding it so tough with all the announcements! I know he knows I'm upset by it all but I don't think he quite knows how much. Xx

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Jenijena · 23/05/2014 19:16

Thank you ELA. We sort of expected this - it's not unreasonable to have second children after all - but knew this would be the hardest announcement that we might hear. Last time we responded with an excited 'us too'; this time DH can hardly bring himself to write congratulations. But we're not close, and they know we've been trying for a while, so it should be as easy as it is possible.

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ELA88 · 23/05/2014 19:19

Even when you're expected it, it doesn't make the reality of it any easier. Hope your DH is ok too, have you been to the drs or had any tests? Xx

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Jenijena · 23/05/2014 20:12

Bugger just realised how pregnant she is and that there has probably been a 'don't tell Jenijena & Mr J' conspiracy led by pils (who we do see a lot). not sure how to break that to DH.

Took a year with DS1. No tests, or trips to the GP, partly because I'm sure the first thing they'll say is lose at least two stone and come back again. //resolves self to getting back on the wagon//

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Jenijena · 23/05/2014 20:13

Not being told til now (way past 12 wk scan) actually makes it harder. Bugger bugger bugger.

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ELA88 · 23/05/2014 20:32

Oh no that's not good, maybe they weren't sure how to tell you :-( did you ask how far gone she was? Xx

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Jenijena · 23/05/2014 20:43

No - just had a text with due date on so I looked it up. Haven't spoken to them (but then, we never do). Can imagine mil thinking it would protect us (and her recent stay with us would have confirmed my alcohol drinking) but actually makes me feel so much worse.

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laurano81 · 25/05/2014 13:34

Hi Ela88 I'm glad you have decided to change docs..good for you...get those blood tests done as soon as you can...honest as it will show whats happening with your hormones, as well as you iron level etc...are you taking any vitamins? I take Vit D3, folic acid, spirulina I don't eat red meat, so this helps my iron levels, and I recently started taking Seven Seas Trying for a baby..they were recommended to me by another mumsnet member who was using them & got a BFP...fingers crossed..I also read about the importance of Omega 3, so I am going to head to the pharmacy later to get it for DH & I...Also my DH started taking Wellman conception vitamins, they are supposed to help sperm mobility etc ..I hope this helps xx

Jenijena I know how much it hurts when you desperately want a baby & everyone around you seems to have no problem getting pregnant... my mum said to me recently...that I don't know another person's journey...every pregnant woman that passes me on the street may not have conceived easily, some of them may have experienced the same as me! TTC for months...felt the same sadness, disappointment, frustration, hurt, anger..the list goes on... It made me think that one day I too will pass a woman who will think that I had no problem conceiving! and they will never imagine the months that it took me TTC! xx Baby dust & fingers crossed for us all xx

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ELA88 · 25/05/2014 15:53

I started taking folic acid when I first started TTC, but then as the months passed and the enthusiasm wavered I ended up not taking them. I should start taking them again really as I know they're important.

What your mum said is so true, I think it's just hard to imagine the difficult journey someone has TTC conceive once you see their pregnant. You just assume it was all quick and easy!

Have you used any apps for tracking your cycle? I've been using Clue for the past 14 or so months (just downloaded fertility friend as I'm going to start temping / using opk) but my average cycle appears to have gone from an average 30 days to 26, I did have spotting for the whole week before AF properly started which is unusual but it reckons ill ovulate next Sunday even though AF finished yesterday Confused

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