Another month, another period...

(36 Posts)
ELA88 Tue 20-May-14 20:02:14

Feeling very disheartened today :-( had an awful day at work then find AF has arrived too this evening :-(
I try not to get my hopes up each month but was sure this month would be different! Apparently not! Hey ho!!

ELA88 Sun 25-May-14 15:53:31

I started taking folic acid when I first started TTC, but then as the months passed and the enthusiasm wavered I ended up not taking them. I should start taking them again really as I know they're important.

What your mum said is so true, I think it's just hard to imagine the difficult journey someone has TTC conceive once you see their pregnant. You just assume it was all quick and easy!

Have you used any apps for tracking your cycle? I've been using Clue for the past 14 or so months (just downloaded fertility friend as I'm going to start temping / using opk) but my average cycle appears to have gone from an average 30 days to 26, I did have spotting for the whole week before AF properly started which is unusual but it reckons ill ovulate next Sunday even though AF finished yesterday confused

gossipgirl81 Sun 25-May-14 16:04:01

Hey just wanted to join in and get chatting to others who will understand. My period came last Wednesday, it was 2 days late so I was starting to get my hopes up and then it came sad
The thing is although I want to start trying now, my bf wants to wait till later in the year so he is 'pulling out' beforehand if you know what I mean, sorry if it's TMI! However I am secretly hoping I will get pregnant this way but I seriously doubt it, just wish he wanted to try now. My baby fever is making me irrational! I find myself staring at pregnant women and getting envious when I hear of another person I know/celebrity being pregnant. I'm 35 so not getting any younger sad

laurano81 Sun 25-May-14 16:57:37

Yeah folic acid is super important & to have a good build up of it in you body is an advantage I reckon...most people only start taking it when they find out they are pregnant, by which time baby is well on it's way developing.

I use GLOW...I have it on my phone,...I really like it & people share their success stories, which I find keeps the dream alive..

My cycle did the same around 10 months ago...I have a luteal phase of only 9 1/2 or 10 days, as I start spotting the evening of 9dpo & AF arrives 10 dpo light, & so on...sad That's why I starting taking Agnus Cactus, as it's supposed to help LH & ovulation...I do ovulate every month, but I ovulate CD18, confused! At least I do ovulate smile! Must remain positive wink lol! It also is supposed to help lengthen the luteal phase...fingers crossed it works...I am only going to take it up to ovulation, but tbh I must ask my acupunturist on Friday if it is ok to take it up to a BFP smile or AF sad...

gossipgirl81 welcome smile, I'm sorry that that you had your hopes up & AF came ...I know how much that hurts! x Tell you BF that it can take months to get pregnant..I'm 32 & on cycle 7 TTC! It's normal to have baby fever! I've had it for years! We all have that bittersweet feeling when we see someone pregnant..I see it as feeling sorry for myself..wishing it was me...nothing against the person..they deserve to be happy too..I think you need to let you BF know how much this means to you! Honest communication is best, as you will start to resent him for not wanting to TTC now...xx

ELA88 Sun 25-May-14 19:03:27

laurano81 is right, just tell him :-) we waited to start TTC until we were married, everyone said to wait a bit and enjoy it being is 2, well nearly 2 years later it's still us 2 and on cycle 17! I get the jealous feeling, resent the person telling me! Think "I've been trying for so long now, why are you pregnant and not me??" But then as was said earlier, you never know the journey they've taken! Although I do get annoyed of the "we weren't even trying!" Or "happy surprisers" ooo I'm so cold and bitter!!

gossipgirl81 Sun 25-May-14 19:31:26

Thanks for the advice ladies, yeah I don't know why we can't just start trying now, but he has it in his head that he wants to wait 5 more months and he is adamant about it. 5 months seems an eternity and what if we break up between now and then, it will be like my hopes for a baby will be dashed forever almost! I'm just trying to preoccupy myself and hoping that it will happen accidentally, he doesn't like me pressuring him.

thamrin Mon 26-May-14 14:33:46

hi everyone. i am about to start cycle#5 of TTC#1. when i stopped my pill in January i knew DH and I wanted kids and to start a family.
in February i still thought that if i got BFP i would be panicked, nervous and excited but not wishing and praying for the bfp.
Now, looking towards June being possibly "our month" i can't believe how badly i want it and how empty i feel getting that BFN.

our plan was to stop the pill and see what happens. well whatever that was supposed to mean its not possible to just forget about making a baby exactly i don't think!! however DH i think is feeling a bit pressured and doesn't like talking about it. i know he feels sad when i get down about BFN but at the same time i think he's worried somethings wrong and doesn't like the pressure of it all.

our sex life has gone from steaming hot to luke warm not because of the pressure to DTD more but because of my mental TTC baby making brain.

i wonder how to be more chilled about it and just go with the flow...? any tips?

Jenijena Mon 26-May-14 20:35:49

Hi everyone, and especially thanks to ELA for talking me through my hormone fuelled nastiness of Friday.

I think it's really important to dtd at the non fertile times of the month, to keep the spark alive abit. Otherwise it becomes abit transactionional, ("fit tab a into slot a, wait x, then deliver") and boring and unsexy and leading to performance anxieties.

I desperately try - and this is my ?21?st disappointing month if I include the year trying for DS - to keep the sadness to one day a month. Otherwise i find the bitterness makes me an unpleasant person. That day, wine, chocolate, whatever... But after that, I count my blessings and carry on.

I'm not [yet] interested in charting etc. though I do have ovulation sticks.

laurano81 Mon 26-May-14 22:22:56

Thamrin A BFN breaks my heart too...sad..around 8dpo I start thinking what way I can surprise DH with our BFP! I even bought a neutral babygrow saying I love Dad! & I was going to leave it on the bed & put the test on top of it...I have gone through 6 months/BFN'/dissappointments etc sad...but we have to believe a shiny BFP is waiting for us...we don't know what the future holds...but for me it is the thought that maybe I can't have another! That scares me the most! I shake that notion off every month & say to myself Listen now girl! You will get pregnant! Get over yourself, and try again !! We have no choice, but to keep chasing our baby dreams smile. I don't know why is it so hard to get pregnant confused..but we WILL get pregnant!

Jenijena...I think we all understand where you were coming from on Friday, for I know I have felt that way too on several occasions...but I realise this is my journey...for whatever reason..difficult as it is everything happens when it should xx A bitter one to swallow I know xx For I have had to swallow it too xx

thamrin Thu 29-May-14 09:20:47

hi laura & jenijena thanks for your replies and advice and and listening to the rant. wink

AF arrived on tuesday so i guess it was an extra irritable day although the past three days i have been so ridiculously emotional.

anyway, glad the period is here bang on schedule. time to get it over and done with it and make a baby this month! (start making a baby anyway...)

must be positive! x

ZebraZeebra Thu 29-May-14 13:48:00

Big hugs to everyone. We've been TTCing DC2 for five months - AF is due Sunday and all the signs are imminent. I feel so depressed, I want to cry but so guilty because we have our beautiful son. I just don't know why it's not happening. I'm still friends with a lot of people from my antenatal class from last time, and most of them pregnant again.

Sorry this is all about me, I just feel so low.

ELA88 Thu 29-May-14 15:53:45

Hey thamrin sorry to hear AF came :-( hope you're alright. It's such a stressful time TTC anyway (however much you try to stay stress free!) let alone trying to compete with hormones and PMS! I've been so unbelievably moody this month and I know I'm doing it, I just can't help it! Been so argumentative with DH, even though he is an annoying pain in my backside sometimes!
Zebra don't be silly, it's allowed to be about you on here because we all understand and feel the same! I feel awfully selfish sometimes but being on here does make me feel better! Having a baby should be easier! Xxx

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