Can you get pregnant using the withdrawal method?

(38 Posts)
senorita81 Mon 17-Mar-14 16:14:03

I have come off the pill about a month now as I want to get my cycle back in order for trying to conceive later in the year. I told my boyfriend I want on the pill anymore as I didn't want to deceive him. Now he is using the withdrawal method when we have sex.
Could I still get pregnant this way? Have any of you guys got pregnant this way? I'm kinda hoping it accidentally happens to be honest!

naty1 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:39:34

How well it would work would depend largely on how fertile you both are. And you wouldnt know unless you have gotten pregnant before. And even then...
It would usually take 3 months to get pregnant.
Your fertility decreases a lot after 35.
I am rushing to do another round of ivf before im 35.
(We found we had issues at 30 when we started trying.)
Most couples i know got pg easily but you just dont know so if you both want kids eventually and you get pg accidentally like this hopefully you will both be glad (and at least then you wont be dealing with years of infertility which is much harder than an accidental pregnancy)

ScarlettOHaraHamilton Tue 18-Mar-14 13:48:28

I think a better definition of a form of withdrawal method that works effectively is "don't even think about getting anywhere near finishing, boyo" wink

And whether or not it is effective really depends on whether or not your DP/DH enjoys sex that way.

DiddlePlays Tue 18-Mar-14 13:37:12

Yes you can

And when DH decided to use that 'method' I never got pg.
tbh I really didn't like it as it left me feeling 'half done' iyswim

A word of warning.
At that time I wanted a child, DH didn't. In my mind I thought that I had been clear with him and he knew the risks as well as the fact I wanted a child. So I expected that if I ever got of, he would just have to get on with it.
A few years later, he actually told me that if I had got of, he was expecting me to have an abortion!
So of course you are not tricking him but be aware that if you DO get pg, he might still not accept that pg.

Sparklysilversequins Tue 18-Mar-14 13:33:48

You can. However I used it successfully for years and never did. I knew when I ovulated though and avoided that day and a couple of days either side. When we started actively trying I became pregnant within four months.

Ubik1 Tue 18-Mar-14 13:31:40

Are you 12?

pommedeterre Tue 18-Mar-14 13:30:55

Yes.

RPopz Mon 17-Mar-14 21:20:43

No form of contraception is 100% guaranteed however I would think this is one of the worst! My OH and I have used a combination of this method and condems for 8 years and not fallen preg but he has very good "control" !

If you're honest with him about the risks (and to be honest he's perfectly capable of deducing them for himself anyway) and you're planning on ttc shortly anyway then I don't see an issue.

MoominIsWaitingToMeetHerMiniMe Mon 17-Mar-14 19:38:59

Cbeebies Yep, present and accounted for grin

CbeebiesIsMyLife Mon 17-Mar-14 19:12:21

Ooh Moomin I didn't know you were a withdrawal pregnancy too!! grin

MoominIsWaitingToMeetHerMiniMe Mon 17-Mar-14 18:49:23

<looks at swollen feet and massive 34 week bump>

Yes. You can get pregnant using the withdrawal method. grin

MrsPaddington Mon 17-Mar-14 18:46:29

You can probably tell from the above posts it doesn't work that well!
However we used it for over a year but I have irregular cycles so that's probably why it didn't fail us.

senorita81 Mon 17-Mar-14 18:45:41

I'm pleased to know it doesn't really work to be honest, I think if it did happen, it would be ok, well I would be delighted and he would be a bit shocked but would come round. Neither of us are doing much to stop it from happening so fingers crossed it doesn't work!

If you don't want to go back on the pill and don't like condoms (and I am only saying this because it is only temporary and you want to start TTC anyway in a little while) then you should at least combine withdrawal with charting and abstaining on the week leading up to (since sperm can live for 7 days inside of you) and during the days on which you are ovulating.

However, you should only do this as well as warning him to research the risks, as PP have said, so he does not get a nasty shock and feel deceived.

CbeebiesIsMyLife Mon 17-Mar-14 18:26:56

Hahaha a 3 year old a 2 year old and a 32 week pregnancy say yes!!
To be fair we were using the withdrawal method as we weren't sure if we were ready for a baby/another baby but cba to use contraception so thought we'd leave it up to fate. so each child 'unplanned' but we knew it might happen and weren't that concerned if it did.

After this pregnancy I'll be using contraception religiously!

ScarlettOHaraHamilton Mon 17-Mar-14 18:25:21

I agree, it can work effectively but only if you're withdrawing a considerable amount of time before ejaculation and as kalidasa says, you know each other well and trust each other. We've used this method very effectively for years, and the way we do it I imagine is about effective as other forms of contraception.

What doesn't work is guessing your cycle and imaging that the first few days after your period will "be fine"... <stares hard at the toddler currently trying to break her way into the freezer>

But whatever you do, don't lie about it.

HenriettaTurkey Mon 17-Mar-14 18:22:22

Withdrawal + knowledge of your cycle may be more reliable. You can download apps that tell you when you're ovulating, and then avoid sex on those days?

Raxacoricofallapatorius Mon 17-Mar-14 18:10:48

Withdrawal, as detailed above is pretty reliable IF you use it perfectly. But it requires trust and knowledge of how it works.

All contraception has a failure rate. The rate you are happy with is a joint decision.

LEMmingaround Mon 17-Mar-14 18:03:40

What is the difference between now and a few months time? or does he not want one full stop?

kalidasa Mon 17-Mar-14 17:42:37

It actually has a reasonable success rate when practiced by more mature couples who know each other and themselves well and have been doing it for a while. It is most likely to fail for young couples who have not been together that long: because you both need to have a really good sense of when to stop and the man in particular has to have a lot of self-control. In particular, you should know that if he withdraws "just" too late - i.e. after he has ejaculated just once - and then ejaculates the rest outside you, that is pretty much equivalent to no contraception at all, as most of the sperm are in the first lot. Also if you have sex more than once in a night/day/session, he should make sure that he pees between because otherwise live sperm from an earlier ejaculation could still be present and could enter you the second time you have sex even if he doesn't come again.

If he is really on board with the plan to start a family and it wouldn't be a disaster if it happened now rather than later in the year then go ahead. Just make sure he understands that the chances of it failing are pretty high.

senorita81 Mon 17-Mar-14 17:42:17

Yes, we live together and plan to try later in the year, he just doesn't want one now unfortunately but I would love one, so that's why I hope it happens

LEMmingaround Mon 17-Mar-14 17:39:44

Are you living together as a family unit? i assume so as you were planning on TTC at the end of thos year anyway.

senorita81 Mon 17-Mar-14 17:37:02

I'm 34, I think the overall consensus is that it doesn't work!

LEMmingaround Mon 17-Mar-14 17:33:37

The result of our withdrawal method is doing her homework at the kitchen table.

OP how old are you?

Fairylea Mon 17-Mar-14 17:30:23

If he thinks by withdrawing you won't get pregnant then you need to tell him otherwise as basically you know better and are deceiving him.

Aliama Mon 17-Mar-14 17:27:14

thanks for the replies, well I am being totally honest with him and have told him I am not taking the pill anymore. I couldn't not tell him. So he seems happy to 'pull out' beforehand. If I do get pregnant though, I don't think he could be angry with me as I was honest with him.

You're not being honest with him, though, are you? Withholding information is a form of dishonesty, and while he needs to take responsibility for his own sexual reproduction, if you suspect he isn't aware that withdrawal carries a risk of pregnancy then IMO you might as well be lying through your teeth about still being on the pill.

That's no way to bring a baby into the world.

And by the way, no form of contraception is 100% reliable.

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