Can you get pregnant using the withdrawal method?

[senorita81]

I have come off the pill about a month now as I want to get my cycle back in order for trying to conceive later in the year. I told my boyfriend I want on the pill anymore as I didn't want to deceive him. Now he is using the withdrawal method when we have sex.
Could I still get pregnant this way? Have any of you guys got pregnant this way? I'm kinda hoping it accidentally happens to be honest!

[defineme]

You are joking?
What did they teach you in sex ed?
It's the most unreliable contraception there is!
You may well get your wish, but you do need to tell your boyfriend the risks too-can't believe how uniformed you both are.

[LackaDAISYcal]

yes

[JeanSeberg]

Yes you can get pregnant this way so you should use condoms.

I trust you're not suggesting you're going to get pregnant by accident without telling your boyfriend?

[AnnieLobeseder]

It has around a 20% failure rate. It would be incredibly unwise and selfish to "accidentally" fall pregnant when your boyfriend doesn't want to conceive. But then again, he knows you're not on the pill any more and ultimately he is responsible for his own sexual health, and the withdrawal method puts the ball in his court. There's nothing preventing him using a condom.

[senorita81]

thanks for the replies, well I am being totally honest with him and have told him I am not taking the pill anymore. I couldn't not tell him. So he seems happy to 'pull out' beforehand. If I do get pregnant though, I don't think he could be angry with me as I was honest with him.

[DownstairsMixUp]

Yes you can get pregnant with this method!!! Me and my other half used it purely because it wouldn't of been the worst thing (we both didn't mind the thought of having a baby together) I never fell pregnant with the method but I would NEVER recommend it to anyone as I have known people it's failed for! And it wouldn't be fair on your partner!

[DramaAlpaca]

Of course you can!

If you don't want to get pregnant you must use contraception. Surely you know that?

You are at risk of pregnancy as soon as you come off the pill, so if you don't want to get pregnant yet you are being irresponsible.

[runningonwillpower]

Coitus Interruptus? Yup, there's millions of children out there who stand proof of the reliability of this as contraception.

If you don't want to get pregnant you need a reliable form of contraception.

If you do want to get pregnant you need to talk honestly to your boyfriend.

[ImAThrillseekerHoney]

It's not the most unreliable method, especially if you know that he is capable of practicing it correctly. It is one of the less reliable methods though, and it's not good enough if it's really important not to conceive. Is your bf completely happy with the plan to get pg later this year? How much of a big deal would it be if it happened early?

Tbh if you would be happy to conceive now, and he would prefer to wait a few months but is happy to use a less effective method and you don't like condoms then it sounds ok - but I would have a clear chat with him to make completely sure you're on the same page about the consequences of a pg today.

[PenguinsEatSpinach]

He may not have the right to be angry if you get pregnant.

But that doesn't mean that he will be happy if you do or it will be good for your relationship.

If you plan to TTC later in year, either continue taking the pill until you are both ready for it to happen, or use condoms.

[rubyflipper]

What do you call couples who use the withdrawal method?

Parents.

[Arkina]

My pals friend used this method and has 2 sons and a daughter as a result.

[Aliama]

thanks for the replies, well I am being totally honest with him and have told him I am not taking the pill anymore. I couldn't not tell him. So he seems happy to 'pull out' beforehand. If I do get pregnant though, I don't think he could be angry with me as I was honest with him.

You're not being honest with him, though, are you? Withholding information is a form of dishonesty, and while he needs to take responsibility for his own sexual reproduction, if you suspect he isn't aware that withdrawal carries a risk of pregnancy then IMO you might as well be lying through your teeth about still being on the pill.

That's no way to bring a baby into the world.

And by the way, no form of contraception is 100% reliable.

[Fairylea]

If he thinks by withdrawing you won't get pregnant then you need to tell him otherwise as basically you know better and are deceiving him.

[LEMmingaround]

The result of our withdrawal method is doing her homework at the kitchen table.

OP how old are you?

[senorita81]

I'm 34, I think the overall consensus is that it doesn't work!

[LEMmingaround]

Are you living together as a family unit? i assume so as you were planning on TTC at the end of thos year anyway.

[senorita81]

Yes, we live together and plan to try later in the year, he just doesn't want one now unfortunately but I would love one, so that's why I hope it happens

[kalidasa]

It actually has a reasonable success rate when practiced by more mature couples who know each other and themselves well and have been doing it for a while. It is most likely to fail for young couples who have not been together that long: because you both need to have a really good sense of when to stop and the man in particular has to have a lot of self-control. In particular, you should know that if he withdraws "just" too late - i.e. after he has ejaculated just once - and then ejaculates the rest outside you, that is pretty much equivalent to no contraception at all, as most of the sperm are in the first lot. Also if you have sex more than once in a night/day/session, he should make sure that he pees between because otherwise live sperm from an earlier ejaculation could still be present and could enter you the second time you have sex even if he doesn't come again.

If he is really on board with the plan to start a family and it wouldn't be a disaster if it happened now rather than later in the year then go ahead. Just make sure he understands that the chances of it failing are pretty high.

[LEMmingaround]

What is the difference between now and a few months time? or does he not want one full stop?

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

Withdrawal, as detailed above is pretty reliable IF you use it perfectly. But it requires trust and knowledge of how it works.

All contraception has a failure rate. The rate you are happy with is a joint decision.

[HenriettaTurkey]

Withdrawal + knowledge of your cycle may be more reliable. You can download apps that tell you when you're ovulating, and then avoid sex on those days?

[ScarlettOHaraHamilton]

I agree, it can work effectively but only if you're withdrawing a considerable amount of time before ejaculation and as kalidasa says, you know each other well and trust each other. We've used this method very effectively for years, and the way we do it I imagine is about effective as other forms of contraception.

What doesn't work is guessing your cycle and imaging that the first few days after your period will "be fine"...

But whatever you do, don't lie about it.

[CbeebiesIsMyLife]

Hahaha a 3 year old a 2 year old and a 32 week pregnancy say yes!!
To be fair we were using the withdrawal method as we weren't sure if we were ready for a baby/another baby but cba to use contraception so thought we'd leave it up to fate. so each child 'unplanned' but we knew it might happen and weren't that concerned if it did.

After this pregnancy I'll be using contraception religiously!

[Pregnantberry]

If you don't want to go back on the pill and don't like condoms (and I am only saying this because it is only temporary and you want to start TTC anyway in a little while) then you should at least combine withdrawal with charting and abstaining on the week leading up to (since sperm can live for 7 days inside of you) and during the days on which you are ovulating.

However, you should only do this as well as warning him to research the risks, as PP have said, so he does not get a nasty shock and feel deceived.