TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting Eachother & Staying Positive :)

(1000 Posts)
mama31 Tue 04-Mar-14 17:45:02

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive for a lengthy period of time who may be considering/attending further tests/scans or is about to begin fertility treatment. I hope this thread can provide information and support, alleviate fears and can help one another to remain positive during this difficult journey that can only be understood by those experiencing it.

Please join and share your story, knowledge, support, laughter and tears.

mama31 Wed 05-Mar-14 13:23:50

I've just ate half a bag of twirl bites.....not good! must exercise tonight!

m33r Wed 05-Mar-14 16:46:41

Hi new faces and old hands! I feel different because I never get AF cramps until two days before AF - I'm currently 5. I have felt quite 'wet' (sorry) and definite nausea: once on Monday and today for a long time. I'm tired too but I always find tiredness a hard one to judge.

Anyway, driving home tonight, I decided I was undoubtedly pg and had so many symptoms that I prob had enough hormone to test. Drove as fast as I could home near tears of excitement to tell DH so sure am I. On the journey, the 'wet' feeling comes back and I decide I have come on 5 days early and am gutted. Get in. No AF. Poas - stupid - bfn.

Why am I doing this again! Still convinced! Am also now not as nauseous but am famished...

I know what I sound like btw...

jesse mama someone said in thread a while ago, it's a year for a reason so I guess that's why gps are calm and why we should be... If only it was that easy!

mama31 Wed 05-Mar-14 17:47:45

Awh M33R still quite early though for testing? I know what it's like though to get your hopes up! My body plays a new trick on me every month! I'm hoping yours is not playing tricks and that this is it for you. Stay positive but also openminded to the possibility that it may not happen. It's so so hard to do that and I should take my own advice as I never do that I just raise my hopes then cry like a baby when af arrives sad

But I'm crossing everything for you I really really want it to be your time. We are always here to chat and share our craziness in the 2ww, the worst time ever!

citysnow Wed 05-Mar-14 18:15:28

Hi, I was on a similar thread 2 1/2 years ago (back when it was 10+ months part 2!) when ttc # 1. He took 16 months, 12 months of which timing was impeccable due opk! We did eventually get there after many sessions of acupuncture (all test results "fine", but I had long and irregular cycles)
Anyway, have been ttc # 2 for "only" 4 cycles.
Thought I'd say "hi" and good luck. I'm obviously full of hope that it won't take so long this time!

m33r Wed 05-Mar-14 19:09:07

Thanks so much city! Really great to hear. Sometimes I completely lose hope that it'll happen naturally believing if it was going to it would have by now! Hopefully #2 will come along soon!

Thanks mama! It was far too early and not even FMU so I'm staying hopeful and confident but I have to say it feels VERY like AF coming ....

May test tomorrow with FMU (again stupid!). Not sure what's come over me as I'm not usually like this! X

Martie1 Wed 05-Mar-14 19:58:56

mama31, I came off the pill at end beginning of Feb 2013. So i work out I have now had 11 cycles. ttc number 1.

Im going to try everything this month. I had a big ole glass of grapefruit juice this evening, after purchasing in Tesco. It's really not that bad. I think I will hit Amazon now for those other bits, it only dawned on me today that that would prob be a better place to get them and I see that's were you recommend.

I am going to go see my GP this month too. Unfortunately I need to move GP because we moved home, and this is going to delay me getting an appointment sad

Welcome to gingerbreadlady I think i noticed your posts elsewhere and that you seem to be in a similar boat to me. It's really nice to be on a board were everyone seems to be at the same stage.

Thanks for the welcome onelifeonechance.

I think this is a fab thread, well done mama31 have a large glass of mumsnet wine as your reward!

mama31 Wed 05-Mar-14 21:22:02

Hi City! Great to hear you got your little one and good luck for no2! Hope it's soon for you.

M33R hugs and so many hopes and prayers for you poas tomorrow!

Martie thanks for the MN wine...glug glug glug....yes. the grapefruit juice is fine and amazon is great but slightly addictive.

mama31 Wed 05-Mar-14 21:22:31

Hugs to you onelife, just coz your lovely smile

maybug3 Wed 05-Mar-14 21:42:13

Hi ladies
Ttc #1, cycle 20 for me and new to mumsnet.
Haven't braved the doctors yet, which at the grand old age 33 (in three weeks anyway) is probably just stupid but did mention to the nurse 5 months back and she said not to worry. Hubby thinks I'm over worrying but having come on again tonight and home alone felt I needed support.
So nice to read on here that others of you have the same hopes each month and done great tips.

mama31 Wed 05-Mar-14 22:18:51

Welcome May. I know it's hard not to worry. But might be a good idea to just get your 21 day blood tests done and your DH sperm analysis. I hope you will feel supported on here with us.

onelifeonechance Thu 06-Mar-14 08:14:51

Morning all smile

Managed to dtd last night so v pleased about that as had positive opk in the morn and Ewcm (we're all friends here so not over sharing, you've all heard far worse before!!)

M33r, you sound just like me most months! Some months I really just don't feel it and kind of know af will be rocking up (although there is always a smidgen of hope) but other months it feels like all the signs are there and it's all you can think about. Hoping for you, good luck! Love it if you could tear up your appt letter! Have you resisted poas this morn or gone for it?

Jesse, glad hubby was a star about it all and loving the 'knowledge is power' thing, going to keep repeating that to myself, especially if we end up at the clinic.

Waves to City and gingerbread smile Thanks for sharing your story city, helps us to keep the faith!! And v much hoping your reverse psych works ginger! Good luck!

Maybug, hello! I'll be turning 33 this month too and ttc #1. I'm slightly less patient than you and visited the gp in Jan! Completely get the roller coaster of this whole thing, never thought it'd (a) be like this or (b) be so bloody hard. Do you think you'll see the doc soon? Know it's not an easy decision.....without knowing you or your situation, so forgive me if I'm way off, but may I tentatively refer you to Jesse's statement - knowledge is power - may be worth a visit? Either way we're here to support!

Mama, thanks for my hugs smile hope you're doing ok and have managed to recover from your twirl bite overdose!! Lol grin

MuddyWellyNelly Thu 06-Mar-14 09:25:25

Citysnow, the original thread is still going! Joy, MrsDen, Pout etc are still on it. Congratulations on your little onesmile. I was a bit confused by the title actually, as there is a long-running 10plusser thread already. wink Obviously it's the point at which people start to worry....!

Good luck with your journey ladies, I hope you all get your BFPs soon.

Lindsay81 Thu 06-Mar-14 09:49:29

After 14 months of lurking on mumsnet, this is the thread that has finally caused me to join and start contributing. Thank you, mama31! :-)

Well, as I say, it's been 14 long months. I've had the 21 day blood tests, apparently all is well but I think my progesterone was a bit low at 21 and may indicate late ovulation and therefore a short luteal phase. But who am I to argue with the doc though?! I also NEVER get a positive OPK (sometimes faint lines), despite using them for 5 months now, twice a day at certain times. I can't help but worry something is going on :-(

My husband and I are both 33, and at times I am kicking myself for putting our careers and financial plans first for so long. Wish we'd started sooner because we are both from large, close families and have looked forward to starting our own family for so long. We established our careers, bought the family home and are now rattling around in it, looking wistfully at the room that would be the nursery!

This is my first month taking some supplements (agnus castus and B100 complex). I'm a scientist and so am a bit dubious, but will try anything!

My husband has the sperm analysis kit from the doctor but has given himself a "deadline" of June to work up to having to do this! LOL

Well, that's me.... look forward to the support I'm sure this thread will bring :-)

mama31 Thu 06-Mar-14 11:12:21

Thanks muddywelly. I had not seen a thread similar to this so started one. What is the other one called, might nip in and steal some tips haha!!

Welcome Lindsay. I know what you mean, DH wanted to start ttc a long time ago but I was focusing on my career and didn't feel it was the right time. We then bought our new house and have been decorating, and we have a spare bedroom that would be a nursery but is full of stuff at the minute.

My tactic is to stay positive and to prepare for a baby (positive visualisation) so over Easter we are going to clear that room and paint it. Not going as far as decorating it for a baby, but definately making it more ready for one.

DH is also waiting on the sperm test kit coming out and he will be completing the test ASAP! (he has no choice haha). I think he is a bit apprehensive about it but he is being proactive as it hasn't arrived and he's made phonecalls asking where it is! Lol

Lindsay I am also taking AC just since last month and noted some improvements already with my cycle so I do think it works. Hoping for more improvements this cycle as 2nd month on it.

Onelife good work on the dtd! I'm sure DH was more than happy to oblige ;)

M33R hope you are ok, hugs to you xx

Jessewalt Thu 06-Mar-14 12:29:00

I told my mum yesterday about trying to conceive. And cried. I had planned to keep it a secret from her, really to protect her from being upset and worried. However I blurted it out. She was amazing and it felt lovely to get a hug from her. I told her not to ask about it again unless I bring it up! I, personally, can't keep all this stress a total secret. I am a sharer. Sometimes an over sharer! But i think acknowledging the distress is a way to keep me sane.
Onelife - i totally agree with you - I never realised how hard this would be.
Hope you are all ok today. Just wondering what your thoughts are on sharing? Mumsnet only or a few people in RL too?

mama31 Thu 06-Mar-14 12:41:13

Hi Jesse. I agree that sharing is important to have support. However I was so excited when we started ttc, believing it would happen within the first 2 or 3 cycles that I told close family and a few close friends. I now feel I may have overshare d as I feel like people are just waiting on my news and I don't have any sad my sister has been great though and has reassured me every step of the way. My mum asks quite often about it but not too much, but she is just excited about it and can't wait for it to happen.

I have a friend who has been ttc for the exact same time and she has been my rock. But it is going to eb so so difficult if one gets pregnant before the other (which is likely). I think

mama31 Thu 06-Mar-14 12:42:30

(stupid phone) I think I am glad to have support Jesse but perhaps shouldn't have assumed that it would happen so quickly and had I known I think I would only have told my sister and my friend who is also ttc.

Lindsay81 Thu 06-Mar-14 15:43:57

Maybug and OneLife- I turn 33 in 3 weeks too! :-)

Jesse- I told my mum and a close cousin -and that's it really as far as real, 3D people go! ;-) Sometimes I wish I had more people to talk to "in real life" but with this niggling doubt that it's going to take us a while longer, I can also see how the constant questions would become annoying and even upsetting at times. My mum does exactly as you have asked yours, only brings it up when I do. She is sympathetic and loving, of course, but doesn't really get it because when she had all of us, she said she never really even thought it about it and it always just happened the first month she tried. ARGH! lol

m33r Thu 06-Mar-14 16:23:11

Hi everyone. I did not poas this morn - apparently I'm more rational in the mornings! Might tomorrow as will be 13/14dpo but have a 16 day lp so still a but early. As to symptoms, I'm very nauseous, tired and have a bursting headache (and have done all day). 'Wet' feeling less pronounced and cramps and achy (only slightly) bbs gone. Now think I may just have a bug if not for those cramps at 10/11/12 dpo... They were real... And so is nausea and I'm never ill... FX FX FX

So glad I'm not the only person with a 'nursery'. It's kind of depressing and like many of you wonder about our financial security and job security plan. I thought I was doing the right thing ... But if I knew then what I knew now???

In RL, like some if you I told everyone. As soon as we're married (we were 3minths before wedding) wend be trying and here we are with no baby. I'm a sharer too so quite happy we did as no-one is really inappropriate and mum is quite supportive except occasionally goes on about it a bit and doesn't have a clue that her having no grandchildren nearby is not as hard as me not having a glimmer of a little one. She doesn't realise the guilt the comments bring on me...

My mate started 6minths before and has his a hideous journey with a failed ivf just under her belt. She has been my rock and we are there for each other. I cannot understand how she can't get a baby - she would be the best mum in the world.

So much harder than we all thought. Hopefully this month I'll have a good news story though and if not, it's great to have you guys!

X

mama31 Thu 06-Mar-14 18:45:28

M33R well done on the willpower! Wish I had some! Wow symptoms do sound promising but it is hard to know if a bug has been working on you or if it's the little bean working on you. I so hope it's the latter.

Sorry to hear about your friend, was it her first IVF attempt? Will she try again? I can't imagine getting to that stage and it not working, must be so soul destroying I'm so sorry to hear about it. But I'm sure your friend is so glad to have you as a support.

Really really really hope this is your time M33R x

mama31 Thu 06-Mar-14 18:48:44

CD5 here not much to report other than first dtd complete today for cycle 10 ;) trying so hard to stick to smep this time so no nooky until Saturday! So far we have failed miserably at smep every month, as soon as we say every other day it's like our bodies are determined to break the rules and we somehow end up dtd every day or sometimes twice a day!!!! Not this time....self control is in place and I'm sticking to every other day!

maybug3 Thu 06-Mar-14 19:01:46

Thanks all, so good to be able to share openly!

mama31 - so impressed you are still finding dtd so exciting you cannot control yourselves! It's actually starting to feel like a chore for us these days!! We actually joke about it like that now!

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who beats herself up about putting other things first. You're brought up to be terrified of getting pregnant when it's not the right time and so put it off so long. Now all I worry about is if I left it too late.

We also have a nursery room, but I have purposely stored lots of boxes in it so I cannot dwell on it too much now.

In terms of sharing, in RL I have only shared with my three besties - two who had fertility problems with their firsts, but now have one each. Although one is struggling with her second again, and they do understand I find it hard as they just keep saying that it will happen eventually like it did for them...but of course it might not!

I will go to the doctors soon, but with hubby working away we are registered at different doctors which has been the stumbling block so far. The nurse i previously spoke to essentially hinted that as we obviously weren't able to be consistent with dtd, that the doctor wouldn't be overly helpful.

Think I'm just going to have to get hubby to register with my gp so we can start lying a bit more!

mama31 Thu 06-Mar-14 21:22:47

Maybug once af clears off I'm up for dtd up until ovulation....then I fade terribly as soon as the opk has went back to negative....DH could happily go all month! I'm usually happy for a rest once ovulation is over.

DH and I are also registered with different GP's so he is organising SA via his GP and it's my GP that has referred us on for further tests as it is always the woman referred anyway.

GingerbreadBabyPlease Thu 06-Mar-14 21:25:53

Hi ladies, I've spotted a few of you on other threads, it's nice, but also rubbish, for us all to be in the same boat.
mama firstly, I'm with you on the twirl bites, those things are so moreish, how are they so delicious!!? and also <high fives> to you for all the BD!!
I am struggling with even every 3 days this cycle, we are taking it easy though this month, and probably next month too as I feel like I just needed to give myself a break, I was actually becoming crazy after reading lots of full of bullshit fertility books, wanting to throw away all our plastic tupperware and shouting at DH when he held the laptop too near his crotch.....confused
m33r I have my fingers crossed for you, but it is so hard to distinguish between symptoms and just wishful thinking. Several months now I have definately felt nauseous leading up to AF. 16 day LP is fantastic for you though, and totally meaningless note of optimism here for you, my Dsis got pregnant on cycle 15!
I just want to say to all those of you kicking yourself for waiting until you had careers etc under your belt, stop it! I wanted to have a family young then do career/travelling etc, and while I was incredibly lucky to conceive DD quickly at the age of 24 (gosh that seems young now), I thought the same would happen again for number 2 with age on my side, but clearly it is not the case, I don't think under the age of 40, and certainly 35, age has much to do with it really.
The more I read the more it seems the ones who never have children are the rare ones, it just takes a bloody long slog for some people which is infinitely unfair.

mama31 Thu 06-Mar-14 22:09:53

Hi Ginger. Yes I know what you mean, I don't really beat myself up about waiting as I'm really happy with where I am in my life right now...but a little baby would complete that for us both now.

I'm trying to stick with every other day this cycle and going to try and take a more relaxed approach. I have not (yet) purchased any IC preg tests as I think they send me loopy. But it's early yet and I could impulsively buy them off amazon (any minute). I have little self control, can you tell?!

I am feeling a bit more relaxed though and I think it's because I've accepted that we are being referred for tests and that it probably isn't going to happen soon. Then again, once the 2ww arrives ill most likely turn in to a lunatic again convincing myself I'm pregnant!

It might be a long slog, but I have no doubt we will all get there! (just wish DH sperm test kit would arrive just to rule that out or in)

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