Getting pregnant tips and tricks please and a question for you.

[newbieman1978]

Hi guys,

New on here and after some advice.

Bit of out back story;
My wife and I came together in our mid 30's and have now been married 3 years. It was important to us to be settled and married before trying to start a family. Obviously during this time we were getting older!
18 months ago we started trying and got pregnant quickly although sadly we miscarried. It was a very difficult time and we decided to not try again as my wife just couldn't face the thought of another miscarriage.

Fast forward to this last Christmas and we have decided to have another try. So my wife and I are making a concerted effort to get pregnant within the next 12 months. If it doesn't happen before my wife hits 43 then we will stop trying and I will have the snip.

What I'm after is any tips and tricks on conception and the answer to one question I have.

After sex my wife always (I mean always) pops off to the toilet to do whatever it is you ladies do. Have a clean up ect. She always sits on the loo and has a wee.
Now I know wee comes from a different place to where my seed has gone but I'm sure the act of sitting there, garvity ect can't be the best for trying to keep the said seed inside.
I've talked to my wife about it and she doesn't think it makes any difference. Part of me agrees and as we got pregnant before so it is obviously not prohibitive. However I've suggested that as we really want to get pregnant asap it might be better to lie there on the bed for a while and give my seed the best chance.
She however doesn't agree and likes her routine.
Any thought?

Thanks.

[GingerRodgers]

First of all it's sperm. Unless you're trying for a sunflower?

Yes, it will help if she lays on the bed for a while. It's advised to wee after sex To clear bacteria from the urethra but laying down for ten minutes will help the sperm on their way.

Good luck.

[newbieman1978]

Sorry I know it's sperm. I'm new and not aware of the protocols. Are only the anatomical and scientific terms allowed?

[Mrsmorrison13]

Don't worry op you will get used to this I used to take offence at first but they mean no harm

[JuniperJones]

hi newbieman - re protocols, it depends which thread you're on, tbh!

I guess firstly try to ensure you're both as healthy as possible while you're trying - eat well, exercise, cut out/down on the cigs/booze/things that aren't legal, get enough sleep.

Have sex regularly - you may want to look up the "Sperm meets egg plan" - this is a free e-book and there's also a website where you can read about it.

You might also want to consider going to the GP and seeing if they'll do any tests so you know what you're working with.

I guess it all depends how "all out" you want to go with it at this stage.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

It is not necessary to lie down on the bed post intercourse, that's another myth that has been and continues to be banded about. Enough sperm will get to the cervix from where it will not escape so what your wife is doing post sex is fine. She does not have to change any part of her routine.

I would also suggest having a chat with the GP now as well given that you have as a couple been ttc for a while now.

[newbieman1978]

Thanks Juniperjones I'll check out that e-book.

We are both pretty healthy, no cigarettes and no drugs! I don't drink these days and my wife only has a tipple now and then.

I'm not sure what the gp could test for however it might be worth a visit.

We don't want any intervention and if it doesn't happen for us it isn't the end of the world (please don't take that the wrong way). I have a son from a previous relationship who lives with us and my wife loves him as her own (she's been in his life from 4 years old). It isn't the same for her as having her own child but she see my son (our son) as a blessing all the same.
We would love to have a child but will not go down the road of IVF ect. We are a let nature take its course type people especially at our time of life.

[newbieman1978]

We have only been trying to conceive again since this past Christmas so literally just over 1 month. We stopped trying after the miscarriage 18 months ago.

[BobaFetaCheese]

If you're not going for intervention, get her a bbt thermometer, a membership to the fertilty friend website and a batch of OPK's from amazon/ebay and get her to chart her waking temp.

She may not be ovulating at the 'standard' 14days, so you could be missing out on the right timing.

Good luck!

[newbieman1978]

Thanks BobaFetaCheese, I'll suggest that to my other half as it means nothing to me. I have heard about the temperature thing, I'm not stoneage lol!

Thanks.

[Armadale]

Don't worry about the getting up part- this isn't a problem. My consultant told me that the strong swimmers are already through the cervix and that all lying down does is make it easier for the less healthy sperm to get up there, which is not helpful in conceiving a heathy pg.

I also found the sperm meets egg plan website very helpful.

Speaking as someone who has had a long hard journey to try and get a baby, I would say that your wife might well love your boy she has known since 4 years old as her own, but she might still be desperate for a baby of her own and that might mean she changes her views on what she is/isn't prepared to put herself through in order to conceive, so I wouldn't rule anything out on the grounds that 'you aren't that type'...

Best of luck

[MrsApplepants]

You could get one of those ovulation test kits, so you know when to 'focus' sex. Not very romantic though. Best advice I heard was to have lots of sex and enjoy it!

[sambababy]

I'm really sorry to hear about the miscarriage.
I second the recommendation for Fertility Friend unless she has a super regular cycle. I used the app and roughly charted my temperature & other signs, but we still didn't get military about having sex on particular days so it was still fun. Every other day during the fertile period is enough, unless of course you're both not tired!
I also used to lie down for 10-15mins after, before going to the loo but can't comment if that made a difference.

[newbieman1978]

Sounds like the ovuation tracker is the way forward. My wife loves gadgets and apps ect.

What is the theory of the sperm-friendly lubricant?

[AntoinetteCosway]

The book 'Taking Charge Of Your Fertility' is definitely worth getting out of the library. It will teach you everything there is to know about how to maximise your chances. We tried for almost a year, read the book and got pregnant that month. Turns out we spent a year doing it at the wrong times because my cycle isn't standard.

[allchatnicknamesgone]

If you use KY or other jelly stuff, bin it. If you need lubrication you can use Concieve plus or pre-seed. My partner prefers concieve plus as it comes in tube and you just squeeze it out. Be warned a little goes far.

Also, I'm not into the pre conception vitimins myself, but your wife should start taking folic acid.

So refreshing to see a guy on here and you obviously care very much! Good luck to you and your wife.

[newbieman1978]

Thanks allchatnicknamesgone. I really want this to work out for us but most off all I want my wife to know the joy of having that little bundle of fun you made.

She is taking folic acid again at the mo. As for lubricant, we have not used it before. Someone mentioned it and I wondered if it could help.

[Bankholidaybaby]

It's meant to create a sperm-friendly environment in which the spoggles can swim easily and live long and fruitful lives.

[allchatnicknamesgone]

If you don't usually need a lubricant, I wouldn't worry too much. We only used it because we have used KY since day one of our relationship. I think you should just crack on how you are used to and not get too bogged down by the science….you can both obviously conceive, so there's every chance it will happen again.

[KayleeFrye]

It's not exactly good for the romance - but having sex as close to once every 72 hours or as close as you can get to that is a good tip - if you are doing the deed more frequently you aren't giving your body enough time to build up a good load of seed and your sperm count will be lower. Less frequently and you could miss her fertility window. Sperm can usually survive for 2-3 days in the body so 72 hours is just right for frequency.

Lying down after intercourse may help a bit but it's not going to be everything - it's perfectly possible to get pregnant if you do it standing up, after all! I have a feeling I have also read that there has been some research showing that a really good orgasm, for her, after you have ejaculated, can be helpful as the little tiny spasm-tremors which reverberate down there are possibly helpful for enabling the sperm to get swimming. May not be true, but hey it can't hurt.

[newbieman1978]

Thanks guys, some great info.

I think most improtanly we want our life and sex life to remain as good as it is now whilst we are trying which I can only imagine will be helpful.

Fingers crossed.

[newbieman1978]

We got pregnant! sailed past the 12 week scan and are expecting our new addition just after Christmas which will be a nice present :-)

[BlanketOfStars]

Congratulations wishing you all the best

[Quinandthem]

Congrats to both of you.

[newbieman1978]

Thank you very much, we are thrilled and even a little surprised it's happened at all!