The BESH shop is now open. CUNT Bunting, TWAT Cushions & FUCKWIT jumpers for sale. Only those that are Bitter, Evil, Selfish and Haglike after over 12 months ttc may enter. Babydusters and Huns will be shown the door.

(1000 Posts)
TheBuggerlugs Fri 03-Jan-14 18:36:30

Get your bargain decorative items here. We have cushions, bunting, t-towels, doorstops and floral hanging heart thingys.

This is a fred for anyone over the age of 30 who has been ttc over 12 months and is looking for a home where copious amounts of gin, bad language and nipple tassles are the norm.

MyNameIsWinkly Fri 03-Jan-14 18:43:34

<plonks arse on TWAT cushion>
<places order for floral hanging cock thingy>

JethroTull Fri 03-Jan-14 18:46:33

Love the title Bugs. How's stabbing?

TheBuggerlugs Fri 03-Jan-14 18:52:35

Alright actually. 5 done so far. Stimming from 17th all being well.

MissHobart Fri 03-Jan-14 18:52:36

I am definately BITTER ! envy

eurochick Fri 03-Jan-14 18:53:51

Heh. Brilliant. Although maybe not a link I will click on from my work computer....

If you don't mind, I will cling on here for a bit, as it has been a Place of Safety for me for years now and I don't feel quite ready to move on!

MissHobart Fri 03-Jan-14 18:53:55

Though I'm only on 11 1/2 months, can I still stay?! grin

eurochick Fri 03-Jan-14 18:55:16

Are you over 30 and evil, selfish and haglike? If so, seek out the BESHtionnaire from past freds and let us judge you.

FriendofDorothy Fri 03-Jan-14 18:55:54

Ooo fresh meat.

Fabuluce Fri 03-Jan-14 18:57:01

Do you think we should offer penis beakers alongside the cunt bunting?

MissHobart Fri 03-Jan-14 18:57:46

I'll track it down!

evilgiraffe Fri 03-Jan-14 18:58:18

<strings cunt bunting between nipple tassels>

Excellent work, bugs grin

I hope y'all don't mind me still lurking? It doesn't feel quite real enough to only post on the PESH thread...

MissH, 11.5 months is pretty close, but first you must complete the deaded BESHtionnaire - have a gander through previous BESH threads and you'll find one to use as a template. Bonus points if you submit it artfully placed upon a TWATcushion...

JethroTull Fri 03-Jan-14 18:59:29

Good that it's all going ok Bugs. Are you listening to your woo CD?

TheBuggerlugs Fri 03-Jan-14 18:59:55

Oh bollocks sorry Euro I totally forgot about your work big brother ishoos

Miss Welcome. The BESHtionairre can be found on previous threads. We've never refused anyone I don't think and I joined when I was 28 so the rules are sort of flexible.

fedupofrainydays Fri 03-Jan-14 19:01:10

<trips over phallic doorstop>

Well I am definitely bitter. Just over a year ttc and 2 mc in that time. Currently nursing a glass of red wine.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 03-Jan-14 19:01:27

Marking my spot! Nice cushion bugs!

Fabuluce Fri 03-Jan-14 19:04:30

Wow, fresh meat a-go-go this eve smile

Fabuluce Fri 03-Jan-14 19:07:07

Welcome Fed and Missy - looking forward to your BESHtionnaires smile

I am currently waiting for my curry to arrive and pondering what booze to chuck back...there are definitely benefits to having some time out from TTC! Now....where's that twat cushion for me to snuggle up with...

TheBuggerlugs Fri 03-Jan-14 19:09:53

I've listened a few times, then Xmas happened and my routine went to pot. I'm going to get back into it from today though.

TheBuggerlugs Fri 03-Jan-14 19:11:20

Fedup Welcome. I've had 3 mcs in 3 years. They're a bitch aren't they. Please find and complete the BESHtionairre grin

MissHobart Fri 03-Jan-14 19:18:55

1) Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

I would never turn down a knickerdropper!

2) Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

I'd be a gold digger if I didn't earn more hmm

3) Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

I use my vagina as a conduit to fertilisation

4) Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

A

5) Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.

A - Though I'm more of a Trekkie hmm

6) what colour are your walls?

White

7) Number of pets?

3 cats, 2 very boring Bunnies

8) Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Sorry, I can't remember the last time I had a crush!

9) Lesbian crush?

see above!

10) What are your views on camping?

Not happening if it isn't somewhere to struggle to after seeing Orbital live and finishing all your gin!

11) How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?

i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

* ii - started on CB Digital, now accepting defeat and heading to£stretcher for any future purchases*

Hope I fit the bill grin

MissHobart Fri 03-Jan-14 19:21:06

< starting to furiously crochet handmade vintage organic cotton cock toppers >

TheBuggerlugs Fri 03-Jan-14 19:25:00

Hobart you're in. Droid is what we call AF round these parts. Also so don't use DH / DP.

I'm bugs or lugs, 31, ttc 3 years and in that time have had 3 pregnancies, 3 miscarriages, 6 months of clomid and still no baybee. I'm on day 5 of down regging injections for IVF.

Please tell us about your journey.

Marking spot.

Welcome fresh meat grin

MissHobart Fri 03-Jan-14 19:29:36

Not anywhere near as dramatic, broody for a million years, decided to wait till we got married, now actively ttc for 11.5 months, 2 mc both at 5/6 weeks. EVERYONE I know seems to be instaduffed and reading/hearing advice is just driving me MAD!

Glad we have DRIOD here and not AF, I mean AF??? Auntie Flo? Are we 11? And I don't think I've ever called anyone Dear!!

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