Donor IUI?

[MinnieMooMoo]

Hello! Just looking for a group/quiche to join but not really sure where I fit it.

I'm intending to go it alone and have Donor Insemination by IUI starting in January providing my investigations all come back clear.

Any one else in the same boat, or has done it alone in the past?

[mrswishywashy]

Not exactly in the same boat.

I'm in a same sex relationship and due to start first round of IUI at the London Women's Clinic in January with donor sperm.

We had initial consult and the blood tests and ovary scan. Have booked in our counselling session and I've will have a HyCoSy on next cycle.

We will buy sperm in December all ready for hopeful conception in Jan. I'm trying to stay positive and hope we will be the lucky ones that conceives on first go.

[MinnieMooMoo]

Thanks for replying!

I too had though about London Women's Clinic but have decided to go with a clinic within an NHS hospital as it's a bit closer to home.

I've got my initial consultation next month and they suggested a start date of January too!

Fingers crossed for you :)

[mrswishywashy]

Good luck on your treatment.

Since we are private (not getting any help from PCT as I'm already at age limit) we were able to cut about £300 ofF blood tests and smear as my GP was happy to do them. It's exciting and nerve wracking.

[CynthiaRose]

I don't normally come in here, accidentally clicked on "conception" instead of "chat", then this thread caught by eye.

Anyway, I have done it and have gorgeous twins to show for it. Had it done at LWC too. So both feel free to ask anything if you want to know what it was/is like for me.

[Reiltin]

I have a beautiful 4.5month old through IUI
Took three goes, which wasn't bad. Good luck with it all!!!

[sleepingdragon]

I am single and currently in my first 2 week wait after ivf (after a number of failed IUIs). I had my IVF abroad, as it was cheaper and I was a bit unhappy about my IUI experience at LWC (and at my first potential clinic- I have become very experienced at bad experiences at fertility clinics!!). I also got a lovely holiday into the bargain!

its nice to meet others in the same situation on mumsnet. Good luck Minnie and wishywashy on your cycles in January

[CynthiaRose]

Good luck Sleeping! How far into the 2ww are you? Feeling okay?

[sleepingdragon]

I'm 9 days after a transfer of 3 day old embryos, so 12 days after ovulation. I was planning to test tomorrow but may chicken out and wait till Sunday. I've not felt bad at all, I felt better on the ivf drugs than on clomid. I have quite a few friends who have done donor iui or ivf, so have had people to talk about it with, but have definitely found it difficult to be going through it alone at points. Did you have IVF Cynthia?

[CynthiaRose]

It's scary isn't it? I was always so impatient to test. If you can wait it's great, but I never could! How many embryos did you have put back?
I had IUI and was lucky enough that it worked on the 4th go. A lot less emotionally exhausting than IVF from what everyone says. Hopefully you will only need one go at it.

Can you keep us posted?

[mrswishywashy]

Always good to hear success stories.

Cynthia - wow to twins on IUI. When they do the IUI do they check follicles on day of implantation? I'm worried that I won't get my ovulation right and will miss the chance. When I had my internal scan I had one 18mm follicle and some smaller ones which they said was slightly low for my age. Plus what ovulation sticks did you use? I'm not sure whether to get the cheap ones or the more expensive one? So many questions that have so many different answers.

[mrswishywashy]

Plus anything that I should know specific to the LWC? I've heard that you pay for the treatment if the sperm has been prepared even if the cycle is cancelled so just hoping all goes smooth.

[CynthiaRose]

Yep - I was terrified when I heard it was twins, but it is seriously the best thing ever. I am so happy.

Have you decided on medicated or non-medicated IUI? I had two rounds of non-medicated first (against their advice, but I had never tried to conceive before so thought I might just be lucky and v fertile, plus I was worried about "risk" of twins with medicated - hah!). If I remember rightly there was no scanning at all with that, just peed on the stick and called them the day I got the hormone surge, then went in the next day for insemination. I decided after 2 goes to stop doing this as it seemed so utterly random and I had no idea what was going on with my eggs.

Then I went to medicated cycles - I can't remember the exact times they scanned, but it was a lot more controlled and they knew exactly what was going on with the eggs, so don't worry about that. I think it was a few days into the cycle, they'd measure them and tell you to come back in x days, depending how big they were and would check again. When they were the right size they gave me an injection to stimulate the release of the eggs and then I went back in for treatment. I was still peeing on the sticks, but I think as they were the right size they simulated the egg release rather than waiting for it to happen or they would have got too big.

I used the ovulation sticks with the smiley faces, clearblue I think? I didn't want any room for getting a wrong reading, I figured if you're already paying that amount you don't want to bugger things up by getting something cheap that doesn't work.

Re LWC - it's hard to comment really, as I didn't visit any other clinics, so have no point of comparison. I guess they weren't particularly warm and fluffy, all very matter of fact. The receptionist was nice, but I didn't feel a lot of warmth from the others, not that it was a problem. For me the main thing was the attached sperm bank - I couldn't face the extra stress of having to get sperm delivered at the right time and stuff, you just chose the sperm and it was there when you needed it, no hassles. And also I could get there in 20 mins from work, so I just made up meetings and popped off there and back during the working day. That was more important than anything else really, as it made it do-able. And at the end of the day they made it work - so no complaints! I'm not sure about whether they charge you for the sperm, I think perhaps they do, but you'd have to ask them. I'm not sure why you'd have a cancelled cycle with IUI though, assuming that you know you can ovulate and they are monitoring you?

Sorry - mega post!

[mrswishywashy]

Oh wow, thanks so much its actually really hard to read about others experiences of the LWC, I spend quite a few hours online researching.

Consultant recommended three cycles of unmedicated IUI before anything else. I kind of think have two goes and then try medicated as our pockets aren't lined with gold.

I'm going to get the clear blue sticks am thankful that I've got a couple of months to practice with it.

I have read about them been not warm and fuzzy which I discussed with my wife and we decided thats fine with us as long as they get the job done.

How old are your babies now?

[CynthiaRose]

Yep definitely have a practice before, I did a few months of peeing on a stick before I started. My ovulation and cycles were all over the place, so I think that's why I felt unsure about the randomness of not being scanned and monitored during the unmedicated. Worth giving it a go though.

I think I maybe noticed how the staff were more than you would as I went to all my appointments alone and didn't have anything else to focus on, presumably you'll have your wife there for support, so it shouldn't matter. As you say, the main thing is the result!

Babies are just coming up for 18mths, they are brilliant fun.

Going to go to bed now, but will check this thread tomorrow - happy to chat through anything else you want.

[mrswishywashy]

Thank you so much. I'm sure I've got more questions however I'm just at end of first week with new position and brain is full.

[Frightchen]

Hi Minnie - I'll join your quiche!

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you; going it alone and using donor sperm. I've got the added potential-issue of PCOS which I've just been dx with, so that's fun, but I've been prescribed Metformin, which should kick start ovulation and there are so many success stories of ladies with PCOS who have managed to get pregnant, so I'm not hugely despondent.

Having looked into IUI and fertility clinics I'm not sure I could afford that as well as being able to afford to cover all the new baby things/start saving for childcare etc, so I've joined Pride Angels and will be looking for a donor on there, using their home insemination kits. Like you I'm looking to start things moving in January, even if that's just starting to communicate with potential donors.

[MinnieMooMoo]

Oh wow! So many replies! It's great to hear from you all.

Frightchen When I first started thinking about it in 2010 I thought about using a donor at home, but I think I kept coming across unsavoury characters so have been saving up since then to go and do it privately! But welcome to the quiche! Do you mind me asking how old you are? I'm only 28 and people always say "but you might meet someone" but to be honest, I'm completely people intolerant, I'm much better off alone.

CynthiaRose Congratulations on your twins! Are you on your own with them? I will be having medicated IUI so there is a chance of multiples I think, but I think I'd have to give up work if I had twins!

Reiltin Congratulations on your newborn, three goes sounds promising, I'm budgeting for three goes!

SleepingDragon Fingers crossed for you!

I did try temping/ovulations sticks last year and I only caught one rise in temp and then I got bored of having to get up early to do my temp (better get used to it if I have a baby though!)

But the clinic which is within my NHS hospital suggested medicated any ways and said the medication is included in the price and it seemed on par with LWC anyways.

[CynthiaRose]

Yep, on my own with them and it did indeed scupper my best laid financial plans. Even with a well paid management job I couldn't afford to go back to work and pay £2,000 a month nursery fees. We're muddling through at the moment.

[Frightchen]

I tried online dating before deciding dating in general just wasn't for me, so I'm certain there'll be some super creepy people out there. The Pride Angels site makes you pay per message, so I'm hoping that'll weed out a few of the worse creeps. Plus I can be saving up whilst pursuing this route so a clinic could become more possible if I don't find someone genuine on the internet (which sounds all the more unlikely when written down!)

Are you me? I'm also 28 and people intolerant. So far my mother's been the worst in terms of 'don't write off the idea of meeting a nice young man and settling down' even though I've been telling her for years that I just don't see myself being happy/comfortable with that. She's getting used to the idea though, so far as to suggest I give up on looking for a donor and just go out clubbing and have my way with an eligible bachelor. (An idea I strongly refuted - there's no way on earth I would do that for oh so many reasons)

How much are you paying per IUI attempt? If you don't mind sharing, that is. It'd be really handy to have a ballpark figure in mind. Thanks!

[CynthiaRose]

Ah yes, the joy of everyone telling you that the perfect man will come along, you just have to wait and see.

[Camsie30]

Hi @MinnieMooMoo I am in exactly the same boat as you! I just joined mumsnet today to try and find some others to share this experience with.

I am 36 and single, and can't wait any longer to be a mother. I had my first appointment today with my fertility doctor, and I was so nervous but he was amazing, put me totally at ease and we're starting the first tests next week! He thinks that if all is well with my eggs that I could have my first round of IUI in January! I've started looking at sperm donors, but don't want to have a UK donor so am looking at the European SB in Denmark and Xytex in the USA. Trying to work out my priorities and my doctor suggested that a counselling session might be a good idea with someone who has lots of experience in this field, so I'm going to take that advice.
I have made a promise to myself today that I am going to be positive. I am going to be optimistic. I am going to have a baby.

So excited!

[CynthiaRose]

Good luck Camsie. I made the decision at 35 and had my babies at 36.

[MinnieMooMoo]

Frightchen Ohh fingers crossed you find a nice donor then! As for going private, I think it's about £1,500 a go at the NHS Hospital I'm at, it's £217 for the initial consultation and there might be a fee for the counselling. But they said $600 plus $300 shipping for sperm (from Xytex in the USA) I'm sure the the co-ordinator I spoke to said it was about £1,100 a go but I'm budgeting for £1,500 just in case I misheard her! I'm budgeting for three goes I think initially, hopefully it'll work! But if I was ever so lucky to catch on the first go, they said I can freeze the other vials for siblings so that's good to know!

But she said it's cheaper to buy more sperm in one go so I might buy three vials as then it's $1,800 plus $300 compared to $900 every time I order sperm if you know what I mean? However, she also said if any NHS patients are buying sperm at the same time, I can put mine onto their order and get free shipping! So fingers crossed for that!

Where is every one in the country if they don't mind me asking? I know a few have mentioned LWC however there's a couple of clinics and my local was the Darlington one. I'm further north near Newcastle.

Hi Camsie, great to hear from another single mother by choice! I would have preferred an english donor but Americans seem to be mixed-breeds anyways that there's bound to be some british in there!

[MinnieMooMoo]

Oh I meant to say, that I'm actually a name-changer as some people know my usual talk name in real life and it's not something I want the world to know quite yet! Hence my looking for like-minded folk to talk to about it :)

[sleepingdragon]

I am very happy to see this thread has taken off in the last few days. Hello everyone!

In terms of costs, I had my unmedicated cycles at stork clinic in Copenhagen. I can't recommendmend them highly enough, a really lovely clinic. It cost about £1000 per cycle including flights etc, unfortunalty my cycles chose that time to go haywire!

I then had medicated IUI at LWC. I can't recall thr exact price but think it was around £2200 including the sperm from London Sperm Bank. I found the service variable to be honest (but much better than the first London fertility clinic I went to).

I have now got sick of waiting for a BFP so have started IVF at the Copenhagen Fertility Centre. I paid about £3500 for a short IVF cycle including medication, sperm and freezing my extra embryos. I also paid for my flights, accommodation and 3 scans in the UK. I didn't love the clinic but they were cheap and didn't require me to visit until the day of the egg retrieval.