Donor IUI?

(193 Posts)
MinnieMooMoo Wed 09-Oct-13 15:12:27

Hello! Just looking for a group/quiche to join but not really sure where I fit it.

I'm intending to go it alone and have Donor Insemination by IUI starting in January providing my investigations all come back clear.

Any one else in the same boat, or has done it alone in the past?

CynthiaRose Mon 16-Dec-13 23:54:14

Amazing! God, I'll never forget my early scan at LWC..."who's going to help you out with these two then..." !!

Frettchen Wed 25-Dec-13 00:31:03

Just popping in to wish everyone a very merry Christmas, and to give a quick update.

I've confirmed with my donor that I'd like to go ahead and start trying with him. I should be ovulating in the next few days, and he's suggested seeing if we have time this month to have a go. It's going to be a busy few days with family etc, so I won't be too disappointed if there's no time this cycle.

I wasn't hugely excited about Christmas this year, but suddenly it's all potentally about to get very exciting!

minniemoomoo Wed 25-Dec-13 10:19:13

Ohhhh that's exciting news!!

Here's to a fabulous 2014!!

Frettchen Sat 28-Dec-13 10:16:54

So, my 2ww starts today. I think I'm a bit late to have caught ovulation, so am not really expecting it to have worked, but at least that's the first, most awkward bit done!

AF is due on the 9th, so will try to relax and forget all about it until the 10th. If no AF then I'll get my hopes up. Otherwise it's all about planning the next one and getting the timing right.

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas Minnie , Cynthia , business et al, and that 2014 brings all manner of awesome things.

ecca Sat 28-Dec-13 21:42:53

Hi All

Just joining a little late, we have just found our sperm donor rather than using a sperm donor from a clinic we have met him and his family. We wanted to know more about the donor than just some basics on a piece of paper. Don't forget when your child gets to the age of 18 they have the ability to meet the donor, someone in which you have never met. This is the main reason why we are going through the process with a known donor.
To some this may sound scary and think that having the donor in some small role in your child's life can be scary, however we believe that with good communication it can work well. You don't even have to keep in contact with your donor that is just our personal preference.
Anyway just a thought and another direction to consider.
Oh and you can take your known donor to the fertility clinic for the insemination or you can opt for home insemination. The most important factor is the STD tests and getting a legal sperm donor agreement drawn up.
Good luck xx

MinnieMooMoo Mon 30-Dec-13 11:08:30

Oh Frettchen how exciting! Have you felt any thing yet?! I know some people have mentioned "knowing" within days of having sex haha!

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all, have most definitely put weight on over Christmas which I was already on the cusp of BMI of 35 so am well and truly over that now sad

Still haven't picked a donor, I think possibly I haven't had anything done since November that it doesn't feel real any more, it's all just pretend and I'm not really going to have a baby.

Welcome ecca and good luck!

I had thought about going down the home route a few years ago but kept talking to pervy men who decided just because I was single should have sex with them (despite the fact I'm a lesbian!) and who had helped 20 other women ugh! However I've budgeted for three goes and if that doesn't work I may well find myself on pride angel!

MinnieMooMoo Mon 30-Dec-13 14:13:34

Okay after some help from friends, I think I've found 'the one', have also bought enhanced profile and got pics of him as a baby, very cute! grin

Frettchen Mon 30-Dec-13 14:24:08

I don't feel pregnant... but then I've pretty much convinced myself that it's not going to happen this time; that it was too late and that I should expect AF to come and prove it unsuccessful. It's easier that way; then I won't be as disappointed as if I were expecting a BFP. Not even going to buy a pregnancy test unless I get to the end of my cycle and don't get my period bang on time. So far I've avoided looking up what the early signs of conception are, just so I don't start looking for them.

What I will say about the home donation route is that doing it once has made me rethink whether I want to do it again. There was nothing wrong with the donor; I believe his motives are true and he's a decent enough person. I just felt a bit weird afterwards - I'm not a lesbian, but then I'm not exactly straight either - am sort of content being just me at the moment, so it was weird to have what felt to me to be a very false encounter with him. We both knew it didn't mean anything and all the bad feeling is in my head, but yeah - it's given me cause to think things over. I know the end will justify the means if I do get pregnant, I'm not really sure I want to try again that way whilst there are other possibilities out there.

I'm going to take the next couple of weeks to have another look at my finances/enquire with a fertility clinic and see if it's a possible alternative route.

What's stopping you from moving forward, Minnie ? Is it the hugeness of the whole thing? I'm trying to block that out and remain in happy denial until getting a positive test result. Sometimes I don't think I really believe it's ever going to happen, but I'm intent on trying because I'm so terrified of reaching some unknown point in time and realising I've missed my chance.

Oooh - just refreshed and have seen that you've picked a donor. Exciting! Does that make it feel more real? What happens next in your timeline? Are there more procedures/tests needed, or is it a case of ordering the sperm and then doing the IUI when the time is right?

Also - I meant to share something funny/lovely before. One of my Christmas presents from my mum was a small turkey baster which she'd attached sticky labels to saying 'single', 'twins' and 'triplets' which I found hilarious, but also really touching because it showed me that she's completely on board and ready to support me, and that means so much more than I ever thought it would.

MinnieMooMoo Mon 30-Dec-13 14:38:57

Oh that is interesting about how you're feeling with regard to the donor, you do have to feel comfortable with the whole set up and least you can say "well I did try it X way". Definitely nothing wrong with enquiring with the clinics though, LWC seem to have clinics throughout the UK and have their own sperm bank. I'm going via my local hospital which has a private clinic within it, obviously they use Xytex in America.

That's lovely about the turkey baster, I'm pleased your mum has come round to the idea and is more supportive now. Bet she's secretly excited for a grandchild really! grin

I have my counselling on the 7th, just noticed that the prices for sperm go up on 1st so desperately trying to order it today, though really it's negligible the price increase so not a problem if I can't order it this week.

Happily will share picture of donor if you would like to see (just pm me!) it has made me feel much better about things. But yes I think it is the hugeness of it all, am struggling with keeping my monthly incomings high enough to get a mortgage (I work ad hoc so income fluctuates month to month and February is looking disastrously low!). I don't mind staying at home and know my mother is keen for me to stay, but I do want my own place, just hate the idea of renting.

Frettchen Mon 30-Dec-13 15:15:13

I'm just waiting for the office to empty so I can call the clinic. Might google LWC in the meantime. I'm hopefully selling my house soon (moving back in with my mum, albeit only for a short while - I hope!) and that should free up a bit of money to things. Also I have a small amount of inheritance due some time later this year, so I'm hopefully going to be in a very unusual place of being able to sit down and budget for things - just have to remember to save as much of it as possible.

Yeah - I think Mum's just realised I'm really serious, and is more than a little excited about a grandchild.

Oooh - will definitely PM you for the donor's pic!

I can totally understand your housing issue. I was renting 3 years ago when my landlord decided to sell, and I only managed to scrape together enough to get my own place because the house I bought was a tip and the seller wanted a quick sale. It was just dumb luck that got me into it, so don't lose hope - it's definitely possible, even if it doesn't seem like it is.

MinnieMooMoo Sun 05-Jan-14 23:05:25

Happy new year to you all!

My period came early this month confused but will start taking my seven seas tomorrow, hopefully will try on February's cycle! (which at the minute has an ovulation date of 13th Feb!)

I've got my counselling on Tuesday, have reserved my sperm, it's all feeling a bit real now grin

How is every one else?

MinnieMooMoo Tue 14-Jan-14 21:22:46

Hi everyone! How are you all getting on? smile

CynthiaRose Tue 28-Jan-14 22:59:14

Hi ladies, just wanted to make you aware of the SMC website, if you're not already. It's an American site and a bit vomit making in places, but there are some nice positive stories on there too that it might be worth reading.

www.singlemothersbychoice.org/category/donor/

MinnieMooMoo Fri 31-Jan-14 11:44:43

Thanks Cynthia, are you well?

I have my next appointment on the 17th Feb when hopefully my sperm will have arrived in england ready for my March cycle!

CynthiaRose Fri 31-Jan-14 14:02:54

Yep, very well thanks.

How exciting! How are you feeling about the first go?

unicorn79 Wed 12-Feb-14 20:21:21

Hi everyone
I have just turned 35 and in early stages of considering this, v v encouraging to see others making it happen! How is it going for everyone ?
I am starting to think about donors and would prefer to havw a known donor, can anyone recommend any places to look? I've seen pride angels so will start there...

CynthiaRose Thu 13-Feb-14 19:26:26

Hi Unicorn. Life is great for me, so pleased I did it. I got my donor from the London Sperm Bank, as it was attached to the clinic I used. The children will be able to get contact details for him when they turn 18.
Good luck with it all. My only real advice would be to think really carefully about how you choose the donor and what information you will have about them, the biggest thing for me as they get older is worrying more and more about how they are going to feel about not having a dad and it feels really important that there is plenty of information available and the possibility of contact if they want it. I don't know anything about Pride Angel though.

mrswishywashy Thu 13-Feb-14 19:53:04

Hi all, glad to see this thread still going.

We have sperm on ice at LWC, were meant to do treatment last month but I never got a positive on the opk. However I start testing on Sunday and hope to see a positive on Friday so treatment can be done on Saturday, hopefully my body will co operate.

Good luck to you all and I hope 2014 is our year.

CynthiaRose Thu 13-Feb-14 23:30:24

Good luck Mrswishywashy, fingers crossed you get a positive.

Kowha1leaf Sat 15-Feb-14 10:55:04

Hi Everyone
I was thrilled to find this link, as I have gone down the IUI road as well. Good luck to everyone trying that - the procedures are not as scary as they can sound! However, I am seeking different advice now. I always believed that finding someone and having children would just 'happen', but due to some poor decision-making I now find myself a single, childless lady in my 40s. I had 1 cycle of IUI with the London Women's Clinic (just last month), unfortunately it did not work. But the good news that came out of the pre-testing they do there is that my reproductive system is in top-notch nick, similar to that of a quite-a-lot younger woman, and I believe the only thing standing in my way is the lack of raw materials. But the IUI is fairly expensive and I can't afford to try again at this stage - and I'm only getting older! So I am looking for advice on private sperm donors. I've looked at several websites but they didn't seem very trustworthy, to be honest, some very strange comments and I wondered whether they are moderated, and by whom. Can anyone help me out? Any info on getting in touch with genuine private donors would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in hope.

minniemoomoo Mon 17-Feb-14 12:28:04

So glad this thread is still going.

I'm not too sure about doing it at home, I looked into a forum about 4 years back think it WS just called sperm donors forum but the men seemed a little unsavoury.

Pride angel seems to be a good place to find a home donor though.

I'm feeling awfully frustrated I was supposed to have an appointment today to take in some forms and they cancelled me lasts minute "due to unforeseen circumstances" so now next appointment isn't til next week so I might now miss my march cycle as well sad

unicorn79 Tue 18-Feb-14 19:44:47

Hi
Thanks for the responses, seems like there is a bit of a gap for reliable sources for private donors! I may try to start a separate thread. I have a friend I would consider but no idea how to broach the subject...

I am attending the talk on Saturday at London Womens Clinic for contemplating single motherhood so pleased to see others are using it as well.

Minnie Moo, sorry to hear about your appointment, fingers crossed you make it for the March one...

MinnieMooMoo Thu 20-Feb-14 11:32:23

I had sought information from the LWC as I understand they have their own sperm bank but it's about 15 miles away whereas my NHS hosp is next to my work which I thought might work better for appointments! Plus I got some investigations on the NHS which was nice!

You could do what a few people have suggested to me hmm which is to go down town on a Saturday night. Ugh!! Why are people so insensitive.

Got my next appointment for the 26th and period is due 1st March so not sure about March cycle at the minute :/

MinnieMooMoo Thu 20-Feb-14 11:34:32

Oh something else I found when looking at private donors, is of course they aren't regulated and I remember in 2010 they were featured in Take A Break! But the offputting thing for me is they were helping a lot of women and the idea of my child falling in love with their sibling was abhorrent to me. The one guy I was interested in had over 20 children! Pity though as his offspring were very cute.

Kowha1leaf Fri 21-Feb-14 23:17:22

MinnieMooMoo, can you recall where I could find that info about private donors that you mention above? I agree the issue of siblings unwittingly falling in love later on is troublesome, but in any event I am planning to move overseas with my (at the moment latent) child, so that would hopefully reduce the likelihood of them meeting. I really am stumped with this and feeling very down at the prospect of a childless future. I'm too old for IVF on the NHS and I can't afford it privately.

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