Trying to time BD to the 'right days' - Are we just repeating the same mistake?

(78 Posts)
GladitsnotJustMe Tue 24-Sep-13 14:47:04

Been TTC for 5 months now, thought I had it all worked out with knowing when I ovulated, AF usually arrives exactly 14 days after I got EWCM. BDed on CD 8, 10, 12, 14 or thereabouts. I haven't tried temping or OPKs yet, as I thought my EWCM was pretty reliable. But it hasn't worked yet. (Might add that DP has potentially low fertility issues anyway, so it could just be that)

Just heard yet another story of a friend of a friend who had problems conceiving, then went on holiday, 'relaxed and forgot about TTC' and hey presto, got pregnant.

I wondered again why 'relaxing' would help you to conceive.. and pondered whether those of us who think they've got it right by timing BD with ovulation may in fact have their timing wrong and so are just repeating the same mistake month after month. Some posters on here are even more rigid than I have been saying "well I'm sure I ovulated on that day, so we did it that night and don't need to do it again...." and I just wonder are they inadvertently cocking things up for themselves (excuse the pun)?

So tell me, is there anyone out there who conceived on an unexpected cycle day, did you think you had it all worked out (like my example above) and find that you were wrong??

FWIW I'm going to give the 'every other day for the whole month' technique a go this month, as soon as AF leaves the building.

allchatnicknamesgone Wed 02-Oct-13 19:06:03

Good advice Jessewait and Babyrose, but now the problem of 'not getting it up' has hit us I'm really not sure how to deal with it. We've been together for a long time and I can tell its really shaken him and he's obviously been obsessing about it. I'm not sure whether to try and talk and reassure him, or just shut up and hope for the best next time we try. Since TTC his libido has gone which I just didn't anticipate.

nappyaddict Thu 03-Oct-13 17:26:54

I think the problem is with TTC in the back of their mind they are thinking we are doing this to get pregnant. And then when you don't get pregnant, they start thinking it could be them, even though only 30% of unexplained infertility cases are solely to do with the man. Women are responsible for about two thirds of unexplained infertility. The difference is when we are feeling the pressue, or not in the mood we can still DTD, but men can't.

After 6-12 months of trying you can visit your GP and ask to be referred to a fertility specialist.

allchatnicknamesgone Thu 03-Oct-13 18:38:48

Nappyaddict I think you've hit the nail on the head!
I'm feeling better today though because we did manage it last night!!!
That is a good figure of 30%. Not sure whether to chat to him to try and quash any more nervousness or just be quiet and keep trying to seduce him.

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