I feel really sad reading this and I agree wholeheartedly with hinky and solars. We can never know what exactly is going on in other people's lives and it is not for us to judge. Brookers are usually an inclusive bunch, offering positivity and support to everyone, lets not change that.
Actually I'm shocked that some people think that we have been unfair. I was perfectly welcoming to pomme the other day before she mentioned the abortion and I realised who she was. And even then I only asked that if she wanted to talk about the abortion please do it somewhere else. And if she had never mentioned it I would have assumed that she had decided against it, unfortunately lost the baby and was now ttc again. I think both myself and geek left the FB group before she had made the final decision as it was too much to deal with, coming at the same time as our first unsuccessfull attempts at IVF. But she chose to mention it even after I had done a round up that showed that most of us (who are not coming back for a 2nd brooking baby) are undergoing fertility treatment.
I have nothing against people that get pregnant accidently or as soon as they start trying, and I would never try to deny someone the option of an abortion.
But really can you not see that its a bit insensitive to expect a bunch of women who are mainly going through fertility treatment to understand why someone would have an abortion and then decide, a matter of weeks later, to ttc. And then expect that we would want to celebrate the inevitable BFP a few weeks later.
And whilst I'm sorry some of you feel that we forced her out, tbh if she hadn't had left the thread then I would have.
Beedle I'm sorry you feel like that but we are entitled to our opinions too. I have suffered 3 years of fertility problems and pregnancy losses so I am acutely aware of the pain involved in that process but I still cannot condemn anyone else for the decisions they make regarding their pregnancy. I would surmise that the fact pomme is ttc again so soon is because she is feeling pain and regret about her decision (as she said it's not uncommon) and I just feel very sad that she has been forced out.
Anyhow, I don't want to get into a fight about it, I just felt compelled to say my bit. I really hope that everyone on the thread gets their much longed for babies very soon.
God I've been away from the thread for a few days, I unfortunately read it all last night before going to bed. I would really rather not have read it. Because I've read it all I feel compelled to comment.
Beedle I think there was absolutely nothing wrong with that comment you made asking for it not to be discussed. I really don't think this is the right place for it. It's just too sensitive a topic when some posters on this thread are going through assisted conception. As you know I'm still recovering from my miscarriage after my IVF cycle. I would not have felt able to stay on the thread if there was going to be repeated references to abortion. My feelings are too raw about my loss to deal with it.
To be honest one of the comments that upset me most was about how so many of us Brookers have "Ishoos" compared to back then. Well I just want to say I was a Brooker back then too. I was there when so many got their BFPs and where lucky enough to move on. My "ishoos" are unexplained, no one can tell me or my DH why we are still trying for our first baby over 3 years later. Should I stop posting here because I still haven't got lucky? Should we all move to the infertility section and take our over sensitive feelings there?
I wish no one had felt compelled to leave and we all could have agreed to disagree. I haven't condemned Pomme and I wouldn't because I don't know any of the details. I am very pro choice and I am sure it was a decision that was not taken lightly.
Olives I understand what your trying to say that it's not our place to judge but surely in what should be a safe and supportive place we should be able to say we don't feel comfortable about a topic. I know you had a long hard journey but can you honestly tell me you would have felt able to discuss abortion so freely after a much wanted loss? If you could then you are a much better person than me.
Wtf? Dear me, I've never seen a deleted comment in a brooking thread, I just read it all with no intention of commenting but I am, so there.
I logged on a couple of days ago to apologise for not turning up on Sunday, as soon as I saw the word abortion in the same sentance as TTC I'm afraid to say I logged off without reading any more, I honestly wasn't sure until ten minutes ago whether or not I would log back on again.
I've just typed out loads of stuff and deleted it, pffffffft.
I'm sorry anyone felt they had to leave but I think beedle was absolutely not being out of order asking, quite politely imo, for that not to be discussed here.
I live in utter fear after all my eggs fertilised with chromosomal abnormalites in the last IVF, that if I ever do get a BFP [which to be honest I'm slowly coming to terms with being less than unlikely] I am expecting to be faced with a really shitty decision when the screening test comes back; just thinking about having to think about it terrifies me [and OH and I are on completely different sides of THAT fence].
No-one questioned anyones right to terminate or asked them to justify their reasons as far as I can see, just asked for a little sensitivity...
Anyway seeing as how boo asked so nicely about ten times & no one was listening, which did make me lol I'll trot off to the new thread and make my apologies for being a pisshead and missing the meet up
I didn't have a problem with you Beedle asking for the topic to be moved elsewhere you had every right to and I think it was the right thing to say and I'm pretty sure Pomme also apologised for bringing the topic up at one point. The issue could have been stopped right there.
What I was quite upset to see were some of the other comments, some of which have been deleted and were quite judging and making assertions on Pommes decision.
I agree Scarlet even after you get a BFP the decisions you may still have to face are extremely difficult and not everyone will agree with them.
Sorry I too felt compelled to respond again but I was quite upset and shocked to read the thread yesterday as the brooking threads have been a great place for me for a number of years and I have always thought them inclusive of everyone and as Olives has said I would hate for that to change.
I wasn't going to post again to this thread, but in light of solar's comments below, and the fact that mine was the first post deleted I feel I have to as otherwise it looks like I started a personal attack on pomme.
To be honest I'm not sure why my post was deleted, it apologised for my previous comment being unduly harsh and said what a lifeline this thread was for me. I believe pomme may have taken a comment about insensitivity to relate to her decision whereas it actually related to bringing the subject onto this thread, but that was cleared up via pm.
Whilst I agree that brookers have always been inclusive, I don't think asking for a particular topic to not be discussed on this thread is unreasonable. What is unreasonable is not letting it die when the majority of people have tried to put it behind them. We have a luffly new thread courtesy of boo and to save her the task of yet another message, I would respectfully ask that this thread be put aside in favour of moving forward in a safe, supportive and brooking-spirited environment.