mid 30s thread 2 - lesley, notnow, bear, caip etc(95 Posts)
Don't know if you'll all find this or not but wanted to see how you're all doing
lesley how is counselling going?
notnow how was oz? Hope you had a fab time
bear what's the latest with you?
missbrightside if you're there, how are you doing?
I'm good, have got a scan on Thursday to make sure we have a heart beat. I've been feeling nauseous quite a lot which is grotty but a good sign!
Oh notnow it is shitty and unfair and terrifying and you're bound to have melt downs. But you'll have good days which will then start to outweigh the shittiness. It's still so recent and you'll get there and there's still plenty of time for you to have a family one day.
Stay strong xx
Thanks - I've pulled myself up together again now. Meltdown over till the next time.
Big hugs notnow. I'm just lurking as still a mess. Glad to be on holiday so I don't even have to pretend to hold it together but terrified about going back. Keep wishing it was all a bad dream & isn't really happening. Hope you're all well & apologies for lack of personals xx
I bet you're glad to be on holiday - it's so good too take some time out of real life. Try not to think about going back. Denial seems to be working quite well as a strategy for me, despite my last couple of posts. I hope your friends and family are making much of you and giving you the tlc you need (but not asking constant questions and heckling whether you're okay...grrrr). I'm in a good mood today as I've just been to view a house that I like that I can afford. Good days come most days now and it's only been six months since bombshell time. It sounds as though you are being very brave and being a mess at this point is probably very healthy. Just hang in there for a bit longer.
All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. Take care of yourself. Eat lots. Drink wine. X
And I'm sure that said checking when I wrote it, although heckling is closer to the truth sometimes.
Ha ha, notnow, when I read 'heckling' I thought 'what a good choice of words!' Hey lesley - hugs!
I've had a shitty week, need to off-load for a sanity check:
I'm covering for someone senior at work for a few weeks and on the last day of the handover on weds I started getting panicky that I wouldn't be able to do it as there's so much to do; it was all getting a bit overwhelming; then my computer just ground to a halt for a few hours and I ended up just sitting at my desk with my head in my hands, completely frozen. I felt a bit funny physically so I went to the loo and there was what felt like a big gush. Quite a lot of red/grey blood with a slightly mushy texture (sorry TMI). I didn't have any pads so I just stuffed some loo role in my pants. Assumed it was 'game over' and burst into tears in front of my boss. Had to stay at work to finish something and didn't get home til nearly 10pm. Had to go into work thurs/fri and do long hours coz of covering for someone so haven't had much time to think about it til now, but my mind is now playing tricks on me saying there's a chance it's ok. But I know really it's not. I rang the EPU on thurs and they said there was no chance the baby is ok and they've booked me in for a scan on weds to check its a complete mc. Reason my mind is playing tricks is (a) I 'only' bled for 24 hours (although I definitely wouldn't just call it spotting and there were some v small blobs); (b) my boobs are really tingly as if I'm pg. I know I won't know 'for sure' until the scan on weds, and would like to fast forward to that time, but what are my chances? I had a scan the previous week when I was 5w+6d and they saw a heartbeat so theoretically I was 6w+5d when I bled (although I did feel a bit funny on the Saturday at 6w+1d so the baby could have died then?). I just would have expected a lot more blood than this. I've only had 1 mc before (at 10w) and bled lots for weeks. Sorry for mega-post. What do you think?
Oh, Yikes, you poor thing. I'm so sorry you're going through this - the waiting between the bleeding and the check up is just the worst because you don't know what to think or feel. You must be incredibly strong to keep going in to work under the circumstances, although I guess the other option is to sit home and obsess about it.
I had two miscarriages at 6.4 and 7.6 which were both horrible in their own way but physically not too bad - the later one was definitely sore whereas the earlier one just felt like a fairly disgusting period. I felt as though I had a temperature both times, although I actually didn't - that sense of something being very definitely not right with my body although I couldn't put my finger on it exactly.
What you have described does sound like a miscarriage and very like mine - I really feel for you. A couple of the details really ring bells, particularly the bit about a 'wrong' feeling a few days beforehand and about the greyish/red mix. I guess you have to prepare yourself for the worst news on Wednesday, especially after what the nurse said.
On the other hand, my boobs definitely stopped feeling pregnant a couple of days beforehand and yours haven't. No one's experiences are exactly the same and I really, really hope for you that all is well, even if it does sound like a slim chance. It's such a sad and anxious time for you.
Can you take time off work or do you need to throw yourself into it? Whatever it feels like (not what you logically think) you ought to do, do that. Hugs to you.
Thank you notnow, it's really helpful to hear your experiences, although obviously very sad too. Thank you so much for replying; our experiences do sound quite similar and it does feel like that's it for me. Have just got myself booked in to a private clinic for a quick scan this morning as I'm notoriously bad at the waiting thing. It's £100 and I'm sure will not be the happiest £100 I've ever spent but I'd just rather know for sure ASAP so I can stop daydreaming that all is well. I just know that by weds I would have convinced myself that I'm still pg so it will would be another shock when they say there's no baby. After the scan today I'm going to spend the rest of the day watching chick flicks, x-factor, that kind of rubbish and will cuddle up on the sofa under a blanket with cups of tea.
How are you today? Have you put an offer in on the house you took a shine to?
What a day! Had a scan late morning and the baby was still ok! Heartbeat fine, measurements fine. A bit of a bleed visible between the sac and my uterus but sonographer said try not to worry. Chances of a miscarriage are now higher than if I'd not had a bleed but are "low-ish". DH and I were in tears at the news, it took a few hours to sink in. We're trying to be cautiously optimistic but it's a funny feeling really as we'd both convinced ourselves it was game over. Have already told people at work that I've had a mc! Have been told to expect more bleeding but to try not to worry. Next scan is on weds and then I have one per week until 10 weeks and then two at 12 weeks so at least I'm being closely monitored. Aaaargh, why can't I have one of those breezy pregnancies that others seem to have. It's an emotional roller-coaster, I've lost track of how many times I've been in tears this week alone.
Blimey Yikes! What a rollercoaster but I'm so pleased that things are looking up! That's such good news about today's scan, £100 definitely well spent
Look after yourself xx
That's great news - very hopeful-sounding. Definitely money well spent. I'm sure you haven't relaxed yet but weekly scans should help to reassure you. Maybe you can take things a little bit easier and put yourself first for a bit? It won't be for long but so worth it. Your post really made me smile because I wasn't expecting good news and it restores your faith a little bit. Well done!
Thank you both. Yes, taking things very easy now. Have spent so much time on the sofa this weekend I think I'm turning into a sofa. It's funny, when I got the 1:2 nuchal result with my second failed pg in January I managed to convince myself everything was going to be ok, and obviously it wasn't. And with this pg I found myself falling into that trap again (of thinking things would be ok) which is why I went for the scan yesterday. I'm a born pessimist and work in risk management (which is all about seeing the downsides to everything) so it's really odd my brain works that way, but obviously there's some maternal/survivor instinct that kicks in when it comes to protecting an unborn baby that makes you yearn for a positive outcome. Odd. I'm definitely not counting chickens yet, but taking each day as they come. Thank you for listening to me wittering!
yikes - your name has definitely lived up to things the last couple of weeks! Almost in tears reading your posts, felt like I was on your emotional rollercoaster with you. That's brilliant news and just shows that Mother Nature is a funny old thing always pushing and pulling us in different directions. Hopefully the weekly scans are helping you stay calm and you will start to enjoy being pg soon.
caip - how are you getting along? How many weeks are you? Hopefully you've seen the last of the grogginess.
notnow and lesley - hope you're both doing ok.
Hello to anyone else I've missed.
I'm off work sick at the moment after having a laparoscopy and hystoscopy last Tuesday in an attempt to fix my heart shaped uterus and removed more endometriosis. Bad news is my heart shaped womb is in two completely separate parts and nothing they can do to make into one big one again. Not really bad news as it doesn't alter things much. Just means baby will have half the space to grow in than a normal baby so will be a little squashed! My right side he couldn't get into but must have an opening somewhere which technically means Ivf will have to use the left half when we (eventually fingers crossed) come to egg transfer. Got to wait six weeks or so for everything to heal up nicely as he's taken a biopsy of the lining of the womb and all needs to be at its best before we start Ivf. Going mid nov for follow up to initial consultation and hoping its just a case of working out dates. Am I being naive...is this the next step at an Ivf follow up consultation??? I'm hoping we can get on with this ASAP and at least have started the process before Xmas.
Anyway, hope everyone is ok.
Ps has anyone heard from missbrightside lately? Often wonder how she is getting on
Hi fabi - hope you've feeling ok. Glad your womb being in 2 halves won't be an issue. I think we first met our ivf clinic last Sept and I started drugs in the November, fingers crossed you can get going being Christmas.
I haven't heard from missbrightside but think about her too. I can't remember when she became pregnant so no idea what stage she'd be at now.
I'm 12 weeks in a few days and we have our scan next week. I'm feeling loads better thanks and have a small bump but not entirely convinced that's not due bloating and over eating! I'm a bit wary about the scan, wondering if the baby is still alive so Thursday can't come soon enough
Notnow, Lesley, Bear and Yikes - how are you all doing?
caip - gosh, 12 week scan, how very exciting! I bet you can't wait for that milestone. You must hop on here and tell us the results straight away!!
fabi - great that you've got IVF in sight. Would be great, as you say, to have it before Christmas. It's a shame that they couldn't fix your heart shaped uterus when they were poking around but it is good news that it shouldn't affect pregnancy. I have a bit of a funny uterus too. Have had loads of scans on it and the conclusions range between clear bicornuate uterus (1/3 of the way down the middle) and mild arcuate uterus (with just a small dip at the top) (?!) but again they told me not to worry about it so I'm pretty much ignoring it.
I'm 9w3d today so have my Harmony test booked in for next Thursday, results a fortnight after that. I feel ok really, just still pretty tired and had some light spotting this week but nothing to really spook me. Just counting down to 12 weeks!
Hope lesley, notnow and brightside are keeping well.
Caip/yikes do you both have scans/tests tomorrow? Good luck to you both xxx
Thanks fabi & GOOD LUCK caip!!!!
Had our 12 week scan today and everything looks good. Have told loads more people today and am finally believing we're going to have a baby!
Hope everyone else is doing ok
That's great news Caip! Fantastic that you're finally able to share your news! What's your official due date? xxx
The IVF clinic said 22nd April but they moved it forward to the 16th yesterday x
Congratulations Caip! Finally feels okay to say that properly
Yikes, hope you are hanging in there and the harmony test (no idea what that is) went well/you passed it.
Fabi, your heart-shaped womb sounds like you're a medical marvel. You've done really well to get so far and find a way to make it all start coming together as you have.
Bear, Lesley, haven't heard from you for a while - hope you are both okay.
I have just exchanged contracts to sell my house so on Thursday next week I am officially homeless (except of course I'm still living with my parents while I'm buying -and renovating, in mid-winter, I must be mad - my new house). Had a hard week this week, what with moving stuff into storage and starting to feel the reality bite, but am starting to come back out of the glums again.
Take care everyone and have a good weekend.
Super news caip, I bet you're thrilled!
Hi notnow, so pleased you're feeling like you've turned a corner and are feeling a bit more positive about life. I'm sure good things are coming your way!
I've got another week and a half before I find out if I 'passed' the harmony test or not. I'm running out of distraction techniques though, help needed!
Try youtubeing 'What does the fox say?' For distraction purposes
Brilliant notnow, made me laugh almost as much as the 'penis beaker' thread on mumsnet!
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