Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fru itful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

(1000 Posts)
hopefulgum Fri 05-Jul-13 11:54:31

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for. grin

JBrd Tue 20-Aug-13 11:51:06

Willitbe - yes, I did have another follow-up scan last week, when I should have been nearly 9 weeks, and the results were exactly the same. The EPU is extremely careful with these things, they did not even refer to it as miscarriage, that term only started to be used once I discussed management options with them.
Just been in to sign the consent form and take the first rounds of meds. Then back in on Thursday (unless things happen in the meantime). Quite resigned to it all now, sigh. Trying to take my mind off things by doing some baking and garden work. Oh, and getting my eyebrows threaded later wink

10000Fireflies Tue 20-Aug-13 19:23:12

Willit thanks for sharing the info on scans etc. Really useful to know. The medical profession scares me! I've heard so many awful stories recently.

Jbrd it's good to hear the EPU have taken care with you. Thinking of you. It must be awful to go through. Have you got nice weather where you are? It's lovely and summery again in London. How are your eyebrows? I don't have any left to thread!!

I was stocking up on painkillers in Boots as DS a bit poorly today. Not sure what's up with him, but glad I worked out the lady in front was carting a chicken-pox ridden child around. Gave them a wide berth and made sure the shop assistant kept well clear of DS. She pointedly used some hand gel after I commented on it. It crossed my mind to buy some Pregnacare while I was there but I couldn't be bothered, which is not really the attitude is it???!! And I am sure I must be ovulating or close on it as had a wildly erotic dream last night. In fact, I had no idea I'd got such a good imagination!! I think that's enough over-sharing for the time being though!! shock wink

willitbe Tue 20-Aug-13 23:08:24

Jbrd - it is good that you had confirmation. I hope that the med's work quickly and efficiently for you. Having been through several miscarriages myself (that should help hopefulgum work out who I am!), I can empathise with you. I hope that everyone around you ensures you get extra TLC too.

hopefulgum Tue 20-Aug-13 23:39:16

Good morning ladies. I am glad the weather is sunny in London Fireflies, it has been cold and wet for ever over here. I do love the rain, but not every day for two weeks straight! How am I supposed to get my washing dry? My living room resembles a Chinese laundry. And I have to use the dryershock which is practically unheard of in my house.

Jbrd, I hope the medical management is not too painful and difficult. I know a miscarriage is difficult, no matter how it happens, but I hope for you, the physical part isn't too bad. ((hugs))

Fireflies I am a bit envy of your erotic dream! It's been a while since I had one of those. My DH got home last night, and we DTD, but to be honest, it isn't exactly an erotic dream hmm He's come home with the man flu, so I dosed him up with cold and flu meds, and we managed a quickie. What is so bleeding frustrating is I still haven't had a positive opk. And, yes, I did want it to hold off because DH was away, but now I am tired, and kind of wish I was ovulating today so I can feel I'd done my bit for this month. As it is, I doubt I'll be able to interest my DH when he is full of snot and a sore head [frustrated emoticon]. I am now on day 14, but it is not unusual for me to ovulate on day 15 or 16, and once it was day 22 confused. I only have one more opk left, so I will use it today, then I will just have to try to have SWI every second day and hope for the best...

willitbe, I think I might know who you are, but there have been a few over forties who have had multiple miscarriages. Anyway, are you ttc now? How old is your baby?

willitbe Wed 21-Aug-13 21:47:21

The "baby" is now 8 years old, my middle child. I have stopped ttc for some time now, (must be about 4 or more threads ago???!!!! I used to keep the lists in order) but I do keep a check on old friends here. I look forward to the day when I am celebrating your pregnancy.

10000Fireflies Wed 21-Aug-13 22:46:55

Awww Gallway. How are you?? I hope you are well. Miss your lists!!

hopefulgum Thu 22-Aug-13 00:19:08

Oh, Yes, I thought it was you, Galway wink. It is lovely that you still keep an eye on us. I still find it hard to believe I am still here, still ttc after all this time. I wish I had the strength to give up, and at times I do think I can do it, but it never lasts.

My youngest DS will turn 5 tomorrow. He is the beautiful miracle baby I thought I would never have, so I know I have been very blessed, and it is probably very cheeky of me to want more of the same, but it doesn't stop me.grin

I finally got my + opk yesterday. But my DH is full of the man-flu and stayed up marking (he's also a teacher), and we didn't DTD. I am not actually all that bothered. I think the + opk was catching the end of the surge because I felt O pain last night and this morning my temperature is up. So I think I ovulated last night and DTD the night before is probably good timing. Last night may have been better, but c'est la vie - I can't do anything about it now. I still feel timing was good enough and I have as much chance as any month. Maybe we'll DTD tonight, just in case. But I have felt my cervix and it is shut up tight and very firm, so I doubt it would make a difference.

I seem to have picked up DH's cold now, so I might just go to bed with a hot water bottle and a good book smile

What's going on for everyone else???

hopefulgum Fri 23-Aug-13 10:40:42

Tiptoe-ing in to whisper hello, because it seems like everyone must be asleep...it is very quiet in the snug this last couple of days.

DS turned 5 today and has been so delighted at the gifts and treats, it's so lovely. I am so very lucky to have had this little fellow in my forties. If anyone is in any doubt, it has been so worthwhile.

Anyway, fertility friend says I ovulated three days ago, but I beg to differ. I think when I put another high temperature in tomorrow, it will shift ovulation day, and if it doesn't I will. Not that it makes any difference, if fertilization took place, then I will know soon enough and one day won't make much difference.

I did another fast day on Thursday and it is getting quite easy, but I am not impressed with thw lack of weight loss. I suppose I am not getting fatter which is a good thing, but I was hoping to be substantially slimmer by Christmas angry

It's Friday night and DS (20) has made pizza and a malteaser cake. He's so handy around the kitchen grinBut I can't eat pizza, so I will have to put something together for me. Then We'll watch "Broadchurch" which we are enjoying immensely, and then fall into bed!

Love to all, would love to hear some news.

jbrd, I hope all is well for you (( bear ))

isadorable Fri 23-Aug-13 12:14:16

Happy birthday to your DS gum! Hope your FIL is doing well after his op.

I have been very quiet as got yet more problems - my Dad has what looks like a tumour and is really suffering. I'm just waiting to book my ticket to go see them when we know more. Work has been chaotic and a bit annoying... not many people are around but still need to progress. My little one is more than ready to go back to creche in September. Her dad's job is being extended which is great news. Ttc is still not top of our list sady! AF came early this month so this is the weekend to get to it... Wish us luck and oh the energy to get down to it blush!

The DHEA has started to make me bristle (!) but I'm going to persevere.

Welcome back Fireflies - hope your stay is short. Hope you're doing OK JBrd? Love to everyone and a hello from me to willitbe too!

Irishmammybread Fri 23-Aug-13 14:54:17

Happy birthday to your little boy gum! Hope you had a lovely day. Sounds like good timing for this month, according to those stats on the babycentre website your chances are better from dtd on the two days prior to ovulation than on the day itself anyway.
It must be great having your DS cooking for you! My DS,also 20,is coming home this weekend but unfortunately he prefers eating what I've baked rather than doing it himself! He's already put in an order for things like roast dinners that he doesn't make for himself when he's away !
Isadorable so sorry to hear about your Dad's health problems,it must be a worry for you. Is your little one getting bored over the summer hols?
It's good that she enjoys creche and is looking forward to going back, it makes it very hard to leave them if they're crying and clinging to you!
Good luck for this weekend!
JBrd hope everything is progressing for you and the medical management is effective. It is agonising to be left in limbo waiting to miscarry so at least it will be some relief when it is complete,and I'm glad they can do some investigation for you. I was told even after my third MC they wouldn't do any workup for me as I was 44 with three DC..
Hello to a fellow countrywoman willitbe ,nice to hear from you again!
Do I remember correctly that you were considering fostering? That's something I'd love to do but I would find it hard to give the children back!

isadorable Fri 23-Aug-13 18:30:42

Hi Irish - hope you have a lovely weekend with your son. How are things with your family? My dd loves crèche though she is moving to one loser to here in September so we may have tears again. She's had a good summer but when I have lots of work she does get stuck with Charlie and Lola more than I'd like. Yes very upsetting about my dad. We just need to know what it is now I suppose and take it from there.

willitbe Fri 23-Aug-13 22:10:43

Irish - hi, yes you remember correctly regarding the fostering, it has been a very slow application, we are going to "panel" in two weeks time. Then hopefully we will be on the books to foster.

If I am honest I still have moments of thinking about ttc again, but focussing on fostering has helped me stick to using contraception, which is good, as I am not sure how sain I would be if we did restart ttc!!!!

Seeing folk here on this thread get their babies has helped me through the process of stopping ttc. I can enjoy others joy at reaching their dream. I hope that there are many more babies soon!

sparklysapphire Fri 23-Aug-13 23:29:41

Just popping in to say hi quickly. Our internet us down so posting from my phone instead of being able to catch up properly. Gum, your little DS sounds lovely, and I hope he thoroughly enjoyed his birthday.
JBrd, I hope the medical management resolves things quickly. Thinking of you.
All ok here, baby now engaged, due next week, but expect to need induction. I've been really tired today, not much sleep, due to DD mainly, then walked the mile into town & back with bag full of picnic stuff, which I didn't expect to wear me out as much as it did, as Im very used to the walk.
Welcome back fireflies, I hope you only gave a short wait for DC 2.
Hi to everyone else, enjoy the bank holiday!

sparklysapphire Fri 23-Aug-13 23:31:30

Fireflies, obviously that should say have.....

hopefulgum Fri 23-Aug-13 23:52:17

Oh, nice to see some chatting in the Snug.

My LO had a great birthday. He was so excited and impressed with the gift we bought him. He kept saying it was the best day of his life and how much he loved his dad and me. He's so delightful, God knows I love him fiercely.

We are having a casserole evening tonight with some friends (11 adults and 15 kids shock), to celebrate Charlie's birthday, so today will be busy. I don't know what possessed me to organise the kids haircuts this morning as well as take DD to netball etc! I hope my DH will step up and help out a bit more than he usually does otherwise I will be stressed out and by the time our friends arrive I will be ready for bed [crazy woman emoticon].

After this morning's nice high temperature, fertility friend moved my ovulation day to where I thought it should be. So we had SWI 4,3 and 1 day before ovulation. I know 2 days is optimum, but this will have to do. Surely there would have been sperm in the right place at the right time? I actually feel that timing and sperm meeting egg is not the issue for me. I think it is more to do with quality of the egg, and/or implantation issues. But I do believe on of these eggs will be alright if I just persevere.

Just read on fertility friends of women having babies, naturally, at 50 and 53 shock I know they are rare, but it makes me feel hopeful. If a 50 year old can, then surely it isn't too late at 46? smile

hopefulgum Fri 23-Aug-13 23:59:43

isadorable, thank you for asking after my FIL. He had a rather large skin cancer cut from his face, poor thing, and now has to have another bout of radiation therapy (which he had about 6 months ago). I am afraid he is very down about it and when my DH talked to him last night he basically said he feels he hasn't got long sad. He asked his doctor if he should go traveling (to visit his daughter in another state) or wait and the doctor told hm not to wait. I am not sure how we should interpret that. It may be that the Dr thinks he should just keep living his life despite the treatment, or maybe the Dr is saying he hasn't got long, so he needs to do things now? We don't know, and FIL's always been a glass half empty kind of man so his take on it is that he's going to pass away soon..

He has had so many health issues in the last two years, I guess he sick of it all (deep vein thrombosis, pancreatitis, skin cancer). He is only about 76, but he seems a lot older and quite frail. He isn't very active anymore, tends to sleep a lot or watch television. It is quite sad as he used to be very active and involved in life.

I hope you dad is ok, and that you will know soon what is going on.

isadorable Sun 25-Aug-13 11:53:10

Gum your poor fil - my dad has had dvts and he is nearly 75 and recently seemed very frail. So sad. I am in awe of you cooking for so many people. Hope it went well.

Sparkly - how exciting to be nearly there. Hope you can get some rest now over the bank holiday- when's your due date?

I need to get up and clear up the house. More space really has equalled more mess in our case! I don't think we're having enough action for me to get pregnant. Better try and step it up a gear as I can feel the months slipping past even if I don't want to make it rule my life I know we need to give it importance or we'll regret it...

Isabeller Sun 25-Aug-13 22:02:27

Waving from over here. I am soldiering on, very happy to be pregnant but feeling rather drained.

Coincidentally I'm also concerned about my Dad who's unwell fortunately he doesn't live too far from Ds mum so I'm going to see him tomorrow evening when she's in bed.

Love and cake to all

OgdenNashWroteMe Sun 25-Aug-13 22:17:22

Hello, I wonder if I can join you?

I am 42 and have been ttc dc4 for 2 years, although only charting for the last 4 months.

I have posted over on the short luteal thread as my cycle only lasts 20ish days and my LP is around 7 days.
I have had a fallopian tube removed 2 years ago, and had two miscarriages prior to this. No problems conceiving up to that point.

Do any of you who already have DC feel awful going to the GP to ask for help? I haven't been able to face it yet.

hopefulgum Tue 27-Aug-13 00:19:42

Welcome OgdenNash. Have you tried anything for the short luteal phase? I have heard B6 is good, and also Vitex. Progesterone will also help. I think it is worth talking to your GP about it as it may make a difference.

I think it depends on what your GP is like. I see two GP's (I am in Australia and can shop around for a doctor). One is my family doctor whom I see for all sorts of things, but I see a different one about all things baby related as she is much more compassionate. However, even if your GP isn't compassionate, they have an obligation to help you, don't they, no matter your age? In my opinion, you are still young and have time to have a baby. I don't thin it matters if you already have have kids. I have five but that isn't stopping me, nor should it make any difference with the GP. I think there are rules in the UK regarding NHS funded IVF and if you already have kids.

Hello Isabeller, how far along your pregnancy are you now? Have you have the scan around 18-20 weeks? And have/will you find out the sex? It is so exciting. Sorry you are feeling drained, but it will be worth it.

My LO has woken up feeling terrible. His head cold has gone from bad to worse, so I will take him to the doctor's today. We have had a bad run in this house. I think I am the only one who hasn't been sick this last couple of weeks. Touch wood I stay healthy.

mozzarellamummy Tue 27-Aug-13 06:39:02

Hello everybody, yesterday my phone deleted my post angry..I'm summarising here, gum, isabeller, isadorable Iam sorry for your fathers and father in law..
I'm having a beautiful holiday with my daughter, my sister and nephew at the seaside..each of them is a one child and it's beautiful to have them together, they're just one year apart..
Feeling a bit grumpy about skipping this cycle as Dp is not here, but it will be good to skip the tww too!
I heard yesterday about a lady who has her babies at 42,45 ..not bad!!
22Th was my baby girl anniversary and I visited her grave, it was a tearful day, even Dp ended up in crying after a stupid raw between us and then left the house, he then calmed down and then came back again..I realize he's still grieving too, but there's no way to let him speak about it and it's hard to speak about ttc too because the two things are so entangled together..

10000Fireflies Tue 27-Aug-13 11:30:51

Welcome Ogden . May your stay with us be short and fruitful!!

Mozzarella I hope you are ok? I'm so sorry to hear about the anniversary of your baby girl. I hope you and DP are feeling better. Great you are having a nice holiday with your family.

Isabeller keep enjoying that cake. When's the baby due?

Am slowly looking at what supps I can take while BF DS. He does not want to be weaned!!

We all seem to be having trouble with our DF's and FIL's. It is tough trying to balance a young family with ageing parents. I feel under a real obligation to get myself fit and healthy for DS so I can be around and helpful to him for as long as possible.

Waves to Gum and everyone else. Hope you've all been enjoying the bank holiday. FF xx

Isabeller Tue 27-Aug-13 18:27:15

Rats, lost post. Firstly, welcome to the new people. This is a very supportive thread. (I have an adult DD and am pregnant after DE IVF for age and medical reasons).

I'm so sorry to hear about your tearful day mozzarella.

I'm 18 weeks tomorrow and still getting some pretty rough days with headaches and nausea. I started out too fat but moderately fit but nearly 4 months of spending half the week lying in a heap is not improving matters. I agree 100% with your take on fitness fireflies there must be something constructive I can do despite having to start from where I am now. Mind you I can still lift heavy stuff so it's not all bad.

DP heard last week that his hip replacement will be 5 days before my 20 week scan so I'm crossing my fingers I'll be able to get him there somehow. They have an accelerated rehab programme and keep telling him how young he is for this op and how he will no doubt recover really fast. I'm so grateful it is happening now.

10000Fireflies Tue 27-Aug-13 20:24:50

Isabeller I carefully researched and then bought a boxed set of ante and post natal exercise DVDs... which have been gathering dust on the shelf ever since they arrived!! smile. But if that is your thing, might be worth doing a bit of Googling. Sorry to hear you're feeling so rough, but at least you're nearly half way through!!

I effectively lost weight when I was preggers as I only put on one stone, and I slimmed down afterwards v fast. However, I discovered the joys of being able to stuff chocolate, cake and biscuits down my gob like never before, and then it became a very bad habit, so will now have to apply myself to losing it again. Bit of an oopsie, really. I am hoping I can get preggers and lose weight again and then be more careful afterwards.smile To this aim, I bought 3 bumper packs of Pregnacare today. Time to see if I can coax DH into considering SWI/SWOI - I don't care which it is at the moment!!

Great that you have a date for DH's hip op. From what I know, these ops are no where near as difficult to recover from these days. Hope that is the case for your DH.

I have told myself I have to spend less time on the internet, but it's just so lovely having a chill on the sofa when DS doesn't need anything.

Waves to all. FF xx

hopefulgum Wed 28-Aug-13 00:06:38

Good Morning ladies.I have another day off work looking after sick DS. Honestly, this winter, since getting back from our holiday I have probably averaged a day off a week with all the illness.angry I am a bit over it and wish I could boost DS's health so he didn't get sick so often. However, realistically, going to kindy and daycare he is going to be exposed to viruses and germs all the time. I wish I could clean up his diet a bit. But the problem is that when he is sick I let him eat anything he likes because I'd rather he ate something, which has led to very bad habits. I am going to make chicken soup from scratch today and try to get him to eat some.

Fireflies, great that you have the pregnacare supplements at the ready smile My Zita West sups still haven't arrived from the UK. They should do any day now. In the meantime I am taking a prenatal supplement and all the extras : Vit D, Fermented fish oil, Vit E,Magnesium,Royal Jelly,B complex,aspirin, Alpha Lipoic Acid and folic acid.

I am now 7 DPo with a beautiful looking chart. Yesterday during class I noticed a distinct cramping and then a series of wierd stabbing pains in my right breast. Implantation??? hmm Not getting my hopes up, but it was something I couldn't ignore. Today I am noticing some lower abdominal aches. Maybe I just need to go to the toilet grin

Isabeller, like you, I worried about my fitness when I was pregnant with DS. Like FF I bought a selection of lovely DVD's, mainly pre and post natal yoga. When DS was about 1 I sold them on ebay - unopened blush The best I could muster was a slow waddle on the beach and some swimming or walking in the pool. I had a very bad loosened sacro-illiac joint which was incredibly painful(towards the end of the pregnancy) which meant all I could manage was walking in the swimming pool. So I put on weight and just resigned myself to losing through breastfeeding, which I did to a point, but not as much as I would have liked. In fact when I was weighed when pregnant again (miscarried) I was 85kgs, which was the heaviest I'd ever been, but the doctor wasn't concerned. I am glad to have lost about 10 kilos since then so that if I get pregnant again I won't have to drag that extra 10 around.

I am still having trouble with my hip, and hope I don't have to have a hip replacement like your DH, Isabeller. Did he have an accident or something that means he needs the replacement?

Mozzamamma,the 22nd must have been a very difficult day. When I light a candle for my DS's whom I miscarried, I will light one for your darling daughter too.

I am glad you are having a nice seaside holiday. May I ask where you have been? My mum and dad have just landed in Italy for a few months. My mother complains about the heat (which is rediculous considering she lives in Australia), but my Dad can't wait to get to his town and wander into the square every evening to chat with his old friends.He always returns to Australia looking fit and tanned and healthy. I am afraid my mother always has a scowl, nothing is ever good enough or right. I wonder why she is so negative and how I ever came from her womb confused I think I recognised that I didn't fit all that well in my family at a young age and left when I was 17 to live in the city and go to Uni.

Wow, I have nattered on and on haven't I? Sorry! Have a nice piece of cake for reading through!

Deige, when do you get back from you holiday? I miss you thanks

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