Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fruitful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

(1000 Posts)
hopefulgum Fri 05-Jul-13 11:54:31

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for. grin

jass43 Mon 08-Jul-13 23:03:31

Welcome, Edamame, and hope you will get a fast bfp and uneventful pregnancy soon enough!

Morien Tue 09-Jul-13 11:22:25

Congratulations jbrd - lovely news. It's got to be third time lucky!

jass, how are things?

Welcome, Edamame. This is a lovely thread, lots of support.

I've had a strange few days. My mum called on Thursday to say that my wonderful 97-year old grandma was in hospital with only a few days to live. Fortunately I was able to fly to Manchester on Friday so I got to see her before she died on Sunday. She was in such a bad way that it's a relief she's gone, but she was a huge part of our family and she's going to leave an enormous hole.

WRT my pregnancy, I no longer feel the lovely positive confidence about it I did before - but maybe because I just feel sad because of my Grandma. On top of that, last time I started spotting at 11 weeks and the scan showed I was miscarrying, with the foetus having died at 9 weeks. I'm getting close to 9 weeks, and I can't pretend I'm not worried about the same thing happening again. I think subconciously I'm preparing for the worst and I'm torturing myself that my symptoms have disappeared. I don't seem to be quite as tired, and I'm not as nauseous (I was only sick once). That said though, my breasts are still very sore, and I still have wild food aversions. I was testing myself just now, seeing if I fancied a coffee, and the very idea makes me heave. Hey ho, I just have to ride it out, I suppose - I can't change things. Next scan is in 2 weeks.

mozzarellamummy Tue 09-Jul-13 16:22:00

morien sickness naturally decreases as pregnancy goes on, easier said than done but try not to worry too much!
from september I will be teaching in two vocational schools located in my town, that's a big relief as I could get schools much farther away..now I can focus my worries on the 14-15 yrs old I will have to deal with..smile

mozzarellamummy Tue 09-Jul-13 16:25:51

Forgot to say.. I am at the dr waiting to see wether my follicle exploded.. [impatient-worried emoticon]

jass43 Tue 09-Jul-13 20:12:47

Morien, unless you have thyroid trouble, the probability of recurrence at this stage exactly the same way as last time is really low. Do not concentrate on that, if you can. Symptoms are not at all important at this stage, your body is well established in pregnancy now and will hum along happily! Can you not get a reassurance scan? I think in continental Europe it is relatively easy to get a scan? But only if your nervous feelings seriously affect your wellbeing, otherwise perhaps it is best not to overscan the little person!

jass43 Tue 09-Jul-13 20:15:59

Ee, forgot about myself. I had a stronger line this morning, accompanied with stronger bleeding throughout the day. My chemicals normally bleed out really fast, doctor said it must take care of itself. I am confused abut the ability of my body to act weirdly.....

JBrd Tue 09-Jul-13 23:40:37

Jass That sounds all very confused Hope you are OK... Are you sure it's a chemical pg? Look after yourself.

Morien My thoughts are with you in this difficult time, wishing you strength to get through this. Bereavement isn't easy to deal with in any case, and being pg doesn't help (raging hormones and all). I hope that you can find some comfort in the fact that she didn't suffer and that you did get to say goodbye.
Of course it will affect everything, but please don't give up hope with everything. Take it easy, one day at a time, it will get easier.

Love to everyone else, I'm so tired! Got back from hols today and still need to finish unpacking, ugh...

sparklysapphire Wed 10-Jul-13 02:09:56

JBrd congratulations. I have everything crossed for you that this one will be the sticky one.

Morien, I hope that you got to see your Grandma before she died makes things a little easier, but it's never easy no matter how old someone is. Be nice to yourself, and try not to stress about the pregnancy - of course it's far easier said than done, but your symptoms still sound like they're well and truly there.

Jass, sorry that you think this might be yet another chemical, hope you're doing ok.

Hi to everyone, welcome to the newbies.

Paula2012 Wed 10-Jul-13 12:30:30

Hi everyone I haven't posted for a long time but I have been reading everyones messages. My history is DS at 38 tried for another at 40 and have had 3 mcs in the last 5 years last one about 18 months ago. To be honest I have tried not to think about it for a while as I find it gets to me. I am of the view now that if it happens it happens but know there is only a small chance. Anyway on a more positive note did anyone read the Daily Mail article this week about a woman who tried for years to have children and then had 3 in her forties last one at 46. Apparently some women have a surge in their fertility just before the menopause!

mozzarellamummy Wed 10-Jul-13 20:20:43

Hi paula! I didn't know you before, but welcome back! That news on the daily mail is really encouraging, good to know somebody can get there. . gum, crazy rainy weather here in italy..I can't avoid thinking about your holidays..and I'm missing your morning posts! wink

hopefulgum Wed 10-Jul-13 23:09:18

Hello ladies, just popping in to save my place. I have wifi at my amazingly beautiful villa so can check in occasionally. It's very early, can't sleep so I got up. My DS is sitting beside me, drawing.

The first couple of days of our holiday were very busy in Bali, but now we are on Lombok, it is relaxed and cruisey. Bali was very hot and humid, never sweated so much in all my life, Lol. But here is not as hot and we have a pool to keep the temperature down.

I had a massage yesterday and when I lay on my front and she massaged my back, my boobs were very sore, but other than that I am not giving it a second thought.

We have arrived in a Muslim country on the day of the start of Ramadan, so every night the prayers chants songs etc go all night. It is not something I have experienced before, it is quite nice in some ways, but is keeping me awake a bit.

Anyway, I am keeping up with ladies. And will post too, depending on how things are going.

Morien I am so sorry for the loss of your grandma.

Right, off to watch the sunrise....

Irishmammybread Thu 11-Jul-13 00:25:33

Morien so sorry to hear about your Grandma.x
Could you have an early private scan to try to put your mind at rest? I know it's so difficult not to worry but there's every chance everything is fine!
Mozzamum you must be pleased to have placements in schools close to home, it'll make life easier for you. Had your follicle popped when you went to the doctors?
Jass sorry you're still bleeding but sounds encouraging to have a stronger positive. I suppose you have to wait and see what develops and keep testing, it's a difficult time for you but I hope it turns out well .
Hi Paula ,I saw that article in the Daily Mail too! I'm supposed to be giving up ttc but when I read articles like that it makes me wonder if I would still have a chance at 45.
gum glad you're enjoying your holiday,it must be lovely to have a pool at your villa, and to have a bit of pampering, you deserve it.
Sore boobs.... what dpo are you?
Welcome Edam !
Hi to Sparkly JBrd and everyone else.

mozzarellamummy Thu 11-Jul-13 06:51:25

Yes, Irismummy, it finally popped and blood's tests were also good ..so dr said just keep on trying, which I'll try to do without worrying too much if possible..
gum your holiday sounds very relaxing, massages, pool, sunrises...WOW!!!

jass43 Thu 11-Jul-13 07:19:56

My own greatgrandma had her last at 46, in 1914. So I have always expected I can do it later in the life too. But something has gone wrong obviously with me.
Paula and others, I hope relaxed attitudes will give you your bfps. I guess I need to relax, too, but right now everything is such a mess. I am in quite some pain, low back and abdominal, doctor said it looks like normal period in ultrasound, but I am starting to think the last chem and this one are not chem at all but retained products from the blighted ovum. I have had this once and it feels exactly like this. Luckily it is one week until I can go to home country where quite some of my friends are gynes, so can have a friendly chat and check on the situation.

Paula2012 Thu 11-Jul-13 14:29:59

I know irishmummy I am the same age 45 it does make you wonder if it is still possible. It wasn't until I experienced my mscs that I realised how much I wanted another child and realised how hard it was. I had no problems with my first but then I was a lot younger! I do think years ago it was normal for women to have children well in to their forties. I would love to know if there are any success stories I know a lot of us have experienced msc but has anyone managed to have a child in their mid forties? I feel for you Jass43 I had to go into hospital for my 2nd msc I was in so much pain I don't think people realise (outside of this thread) how painful it all is not just physically but mentally too. I have started telling people I can't have any more children so that I don't have to explain all my history. I hope things settle down for you.

sparklysapphire Thu 11-Jul-13 14:38:16

Paula, I conceived naturally at 44, I was 45 in May and my baby is due at the end of next month, I don't know if that helps. I do know how incredibly fortunate I am though. Good luck to everyone, and I hope to see more BFPs on here soon.

Jass, sorry you are so uncomfortable. I hope things resolve soon.

Gum, sounds like you're having a fabulous time.

notsoold Thu 11-Jul-13 16:15:23

Paula....I come from a large family and ttc in their forties is common. My dm stopped very early 33 but her sisters ( my aunties) kept going into around 45/ 46. The oldest her a set of twins at 48. Very healthy boys !!!!
I do wonder if modern diet and pollutants has somethimg to do with decline on bfps!!!

Gum....hope you are having a wonderful time!!!

Sparkly...lovely to hear from you!!! Hope you are keeping well

Jass poor you!!!xxx

I am doing well...25 weeks and an enormous bump...this week our dog has been poorly ( seems like she get a bug in heatwaves) and I have done nothing but to nurse her!!! Getting better but I have only slept 9 hours in the last 3 days!!!
Love to all!!!

Irishmammybread Thu 11-Jul-13 23:53:36

Jass if you had retained products would you have any any BFNs over the last few months or would your tests just have stayed positive all the time?
It's convenient having friends who are gynaecologists,I hope they can advise you on what's going on.
notso it must be difficult sleeping in this heat when you've got your own internal central system,even if you didn't have a poorly dog to loof after!
Paula I know exactly what you mean about your miscarriage making you realize how much you want another baby,for me it seemed to awaken an intense longing to have a baby to hold and a feeling my family isn't complete now, someone's missing
Love to all

hopefulgum Thu 11-Jul-13 23:55:52

Good morning ladies.
We had an interesting day exploring yesterday, went to a nearby city which , although very busy, didn't look like a city. The shopping was very strange. We went to a shopping mall that was entirely shops that seemed "westernised" but were full on cheap plastic tat that no westerner would want to by. Not a single touristy shop. So I think it was essentially for the locals. Dh and friends are going on a tour of the traditional people and their crafts today, which would be interesting, but 6 hours is too long for DS, so we'll hang around the pool. We bought him floaties (arm bands) so that he can be more free in the pool. He is wrapt!

Jass sorry to hear that you think this is a result of the blighted ovum. I don't know how you keep going. Actually, I do, as I know how powerful the desire for a baby is.

notsoold I am glad to hear that things are going well with the pregnancy, though sorry you are having sleepless nights with a sick dog. I hope she is feeling better soon.

Incidentally, over here pregnancy in your forties is not unusual. My friend who is here with us is 48 and one of the maids asked her if she would have another child as she just has one daughter with her on the trip ( two grown up boys back home). My friend said, no, as she is too old. She asked how old and she told her and the maid said, you have time for one more. I loved hearing that. Perhaps at 46 I am not totally without hope.

irish the sore boobs seem to a normal thing every month for me, though they seem extra tender. I also felt a bit sick from the smells yesterday, but that doesn't really mean much. I think I am 9 dpo, but I am trying to stay vague about that. I do know that if I don't see AF by weds I can test. So a few days to go yet .

diege Fri 12-Jul-13 07:11:05

Hello! Have been reading but thought I'd pop on and say hello as early mornings seem the only time I have to MN at the moment.
I am loving your holiday posts gum grin. I have a very vivid picture of the sights you describe, and how hot it must be! I'm hearing more and more people tell me stories about surprise pregnancies in the mid- late 40s - yes, it is rare but it does happen.
jass so sorry you think it might be bad news sad
notsoold 25 wks here too - heat is killing me! Shall I do a rain dance for us? wink
irish how are you feeling? I do know that yearning to complete your family - after a mc(s) that feeling is so much more intense and I truly hope you get some good news soon x
Well the troops are stirring - better get everyone up!

jass43 Fri 12-Jul-13 08:30:37

Notso, Diege,others - really good to hear about happy pregnancies in our geriatric ward! It is for me important to see I still have a few years ahead of me to keep trying, if I ca keep it up mentally. But I think I can, because honestly I do not feel too emotional about it all. Just want to be in clear to have a new chance.

I had a beta after mc which was 3. So I should have been at least in neg test territories. But when I had my blighted ovum 2 years ago, I retained products even with a 0 beta reading, the trophoblast tissue continued to stay in my uterus. And the periods during these months were weird, so I seeked an ultrasound and one of my friend doctors did an operation where She just removed the tissue, did not scratch out all the lining for that,to get me quicker into condition to try again. Also did a biopsy to understand why I might be miscarrying, even if it was only my 2 mc at that time.
At least I am bleeding quite strongly since yesterday, so have a fair chance to clear all out myself.

I think we are overdue for a fresh sticky bfp. Who is next? Hopeful, your turn, i think. And I hope jbrd is holding her own and progressing well!

2minds Fri 12-Jul-13 19:48:48

Sorry you think it may be bad news, Jass.sad

My period has arrived bang on time so no bfp for me. Made an effort to dtd at all the right times this month too. I am only on the second proper month of trying and am already feeling my hopes are slim. Think this is because I conceived both my boys (while I was a lot younger) without trying so am thinking I have left it too late and it will now never happen.

Isabeller Fri 12-Jul-13 21:05:20

I am really crossing my fingers for everybody.

This week we had a big scare and thought it was all over - massive sudden bright red bleed. Fortunately all was well but we had a very difficult few hours. I am on blood thinners so what might have been a little bit of spotting turned into a drama but in the end we saw the baby bouncing around and waving and no sign of any problem. Poor DP was in a complete state, fortunately the nurse and doctor were very kind to him and it has given me more confidence in our hospital.

Still looking forward to feeling better smile

2minds Fri 12-Jul-13 22:04:27

Goodness, what a scare for you, Isabeller! Must have been such a relief to see your little baby bouncing about. I am pleased all turned out well for you.smile

hopefulgum Fri 12-Jul-13 23:11:35

isabeller I am glad to hear all is well, what a dreadful scare for you and DH.

2minds please don't feel too despondent, it is only your second month of ttc and there's no reason to think it cannot happen for you. When I stared ttc my DS at age 41 I felt like you, as I had fallen so easily with my other four babies, in fact the first one was a surprise, then the others happened the first month of trying. It took seven months to conceive DS. I now realise that it wasn't very long in the scheme of things. After him I have conceived three times, the first two times it took about six or seven months, then the last one 12 or so, and it has now been over a year and no bfp (all three miscarried). I am guessing it is longer between popping out fertilisable eggs, and even then they have been faulty. I still feel there could be a golden egg in there....

Thanks Jass for suggesting I get the next bfp. I would love that, but I am not feeling very positive this month. Not many symptoms but not dwelling on it either.

Yesterday was a lovely easy day. DS played in the pool most of the day and was so worn out he fell asleep in his chair at dinner smile . We have a series of photos of him falling asleep in random places on this holiday. He has been very good, but I do find it easier if we don't push him to do too much, trips and tours are not great with a tired or hungry or grumpy hot four year old in tow.

Today we are taking a boat to a tiny island, Gili Meno. Apparently there is fabulous snorkelling in clear water that isn't deep, so it will be good for Charlie.

I awoke so early today, around four, and was struggling to go back to sleep, then the chanting, singing and prayers started, there is a mosque very near our villa, and there was no chance of sleeping. I am not sure I would come back at Ramadam again hmm

Love and bfps to all!

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