ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
Legs in the air.(340 Posts)
A colleague of mine told me that in order to increase the chance of conception I should lie on my back with my legs up against a wall for half an hour post sex!!
Obviously I know it is silly - but I still did it last night!!!
Also - this is a seriously TMI question but I do need to ask it.
After sex, how much sperm do you find leaks out of you??
Even after having my legs up for the wall for about 15 minutes I still found there was quite a lot of leakage when I stood up, haha.
I can't believe I'm talking about this!
I guess I just thought that all the sperm would be shot up to where it needed to be???
don't worry it is! I asked this question at an appointment with fertility consultant! she said its pointless (I still do it!!!) the sperm swim to where they need to be, what comes out is seminal fluid.
That could be where I've been going wrong as I never hold my legs up after making love. Mind you I might as well be honest as you don't know me but my partner or rather friend with benefits does not know I am ttc, so I think he'd wonder why I had my legs up after the event! I see him Wed and Fri just to make love there is no commitment. Although there will be no love making tommorow as A.f arrived today (sad face). We are using each other, really. There is Absolutly no argument that what I am doing is deciectful I know that, but what do I do wait for Mr Right forever, and and needs can/do make a person deciectful. I am certainly not doing this to trap him. I mean once I am pregnant he is free to go or to stick around. If he does opt not to stick around well the world will still turn. It's not like I am a stranger to being a single mum. If I am lucky enough to fall pregnant I will just say it was a happy accident.
I find quite a lot of sperm leaks out of me. Carry on putting your legs in the air after making love it can't do any harm can it.
I guess all I can do is keep having fun trying and hope for the best.
Sorry for the life story. Good luck on your exciting ttc journey. xxx
my partner or rather friend with benefits does not know I am ttc
I knocked one out straight after sex when I was ttc.
I had read about the cervix contracting during orgasm so I would trot off to the lav with my dorty book.
My friend is 32 and is going through the 'Do I wait for Mr Right forever' phase. She has desperately wanted children since she was about 20 but has never been able to hold down a relationship, let alone find herself with someone where they want to TTC.
She has queried going to the Sperm Bank but I wouldn't be surprised if she has a 'happy accident' one day too.
Lemonies : your post made me laugh out loud!!!!!!
I put my bum on a pillow post sex when ttc. Figure a little gravity couldn't hurt. Legs up the wall a lot of effort though!
How would you feel if you were in his shoes? For a decent person the choice is not to stay or go, but a sense of responsibility and connection to a child they would rather not have. Please reconsider, for his sake and the child's.
Hi Rootypig. I can't reconsider as this is something I want. (to be a mum again) and he has no issues about donating his product! Also he has never mentioned contraception so perhaps he thinks I have it covered or perhaps he is also hoping for a happy accident, who knows what goes on in a person's mind! Also I can promise I am not the only women on planet earth ttc in deceietful way and at least I am honest. xxx
I also put a pillow under my bum and then I always swap it with one of my hubby's, lol.
I don't want to be sleeping in sperm dribble
i have done pillow under bum and legs in the air with my second DS TTC for 1 month am 3 months in now and did it again this month (first 2 months were more should we as have 3 DS all ready)
I have a friend who has had her coil removed and is going to TTC without telling her husband - He has said no
at least I am honest
You're not though - not with the man whose child you're trying to conceive, or with us, or even yourself.
I agree that he shouldn't assume you're taking care of contraception. I don't agree that that gives you the right to make this decision for him. Everything you say shows that, on some level, you know that's true. One level of honesty would be to say I know it's not on, but I'm desperate. But you're trying to convince us he's really ok with it. Well then, talk to him. Everything else is just an excuse.
I also don't like to sleep in a wet patch so I clench and scrabble around for some underwear
I have put my legs up the wall before but my side of the bed is right on the wall and I started to get uncomfortable so I don't bother anymore.
That is bad about the Coil - how does your friend think she will get away with it??? Insane!!!
Hi Winterweannabe83. Sorry to jump in here, and this comment comes with no direspect but I think it's wrong of you to be judgemental to Seatfor5's friend.
She is broody, like you! and wants to become a mummy again just like you. Be totally honest what you do if you wanted to ttc but your D.H did not. Like I said desperation can make a person decietful. Remember it could have just as easily have been you in that situation, and you don't know how old her friend is time could be running out. xx
Hi Rooty pig. I am not trying to convince anyone that he's okay with it where did I say that! Also what is all this "us" business can people not argue themselves. I am being a coward here but there's no way I am not going to talk to him, for fear of him running for the hills. xx
What you friend told you Writerwannabe is a myth that still gets banded about. It is not necessary to hold your legs in the air post sex as enough semen will get to the cervix from where it cannot escape.
Post ejaculatory fluid is seminal fluid.
She is coming up to 40 and has twin who are 5 i dont know if she will go though with it I can understand where she is coming from but its not something I could do I just went on and on at my DH until he was so beaten down he gave in lol!
'Us' I suppose was shorthand for whomever reading MN. Look of course I appreciate it's your life and you'll do as you wish! I just feel really strongly that men - well, anyone, but most likely to be a man - should not be deceived when it comes to the conception of children. Admittedly I am much more at Seatfor5's friend - because there has been an explicit no and that is a marriage, so the betrayal is worse and the consequences more significant, including for any existing children. And the partly unwanted child? and their relationship with the deceived parent?
Sorry if this is a bit pearl clutchy, but having a child is SO hard, I would be so upset and angry if someone forced this choice on me.
Agreed this guy you're seeing should glove up if he doesn't want children. But I can't help but think of him having to choose between being an absent dad or parenting a child he didn't plan on.... And how it might work out for the LO. (Don't get me wrong, I don't think lone parenting is remotely problematic, though can't imagine how exhausting - am talking about the effects of ambivalence on parenting.)
Can you not get your mitts on some donor sperm? Whether from a bank or willing direct donor?!
Love the bits in the thread about the 'dorty book' (and where can I buy one!!), and the 'pearl clutchy'. Completely going to use these in many RL circumstances!
Re legs up, I find that the act of moving ejects a fair bit of wet (so I get my partner to hoick me round if feeeling committed/desperate. Also, I try to get him to not make me laugh (because I 'spurt' when laughing after sex - sorry TMI), which is hard, because we laugh at really silly things during/after sex. Which may mean that we're doing it very wrong, or very right, depending on your required outcome!
Internationlove, you said this: Hi Winterweannabe83. Sorry to jump in here, and this comment comes with no direspect but I think it's wrong of you to be judgemental to Seatfor5's friend.
She is broody, like you! and wants to become a mummy again just like you. Be totally honest what you do if you wanted to ttc but your D.H did not.
What did my D.H not do???
TeaAndNatter - nothing wrong with having a good laugh . Me and Hubby usually end up laughing because after we've DTD we always seem to find our cats at the end of our bed, their heads cocked to one side and looking very quizzical
Hi Winterwannabe83. Sorry for not making myself more clear. I did not accuse your "D.P" of not doing anything I said what would would you do IF your "D.H" did want to T.T.C but you did want ti TTC would you not be slightly tempted to take the route seatfor5's friend is taking. I am afraid this I.T.R.W and certain women including myself will be deciectful to get to try and get pregnant if they have an unwilling partner. xx
I think I was more surprised that she'd had a Coil removed as that must be so much harder to explain away a 'happy accident' - if that makes sense?
At least if a woman stops taking her contraceptive pill and falls pregnant she can say it was an accident as the Pill isn't 100% effective, or she could say it happened because she'd been being sick for a few days etc..
But with the removal of a Coil.....how does a woman get round that?
At some point she'd have to admit to her husband that she had purposely removed it in order to get pregnant.
I can understand why she has done it - I'm just shocked/intrigued as to how she thinks she is going to get away with it. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she has that conversation with her husband .
Mind you, I suppose she could always say it must have fallen out without her knowing....
I put my legs up the first month wee ttc, it didn't work, next month had a super quick shag and got up had a shower etc and fell pregnant with ds! When I tested positive I remember thinking 'but I didn't even put my legs
I've heard people use moon cups as well to 'hold it in place'
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