DH and I agreed to TTC from this summer but now that the time has come I'm a little nervous about it. Can I ask you, do you all have everything in your life "just so" now for a baby - in terms of lots of savings, a big enough house, a mortgage, secure jobs etc?
We are only renting (though we are saving and hope to buy in a few years), and our jobs are only as secure in as much as they are yearly contracts (and unfortunately no option to change to something more permanent at the moment). There are other matters that could make life a little more complicated too but those are the main ones for me right now!
However... I'm the wrong side of 30, and with family history (mum tells me she went through the menopause at 38), and I have always had 'issues' down below (abnormal smears etc), I think it would be just my luck if we left it a few more years and then had difficulties TTC.
I don't really know what I am hoping people to say, I am open to all opinions and any advice! Thanks
We had our first house together when we started TTC. We were in a small flat before and we'd have struggled for space! Also didn't fancy lugging a pram up to the flat and there was no lift. Financially we had no savings but were on steady incomes. Mainly it was about DH feeling ready. He is younger than me by 3 years and was nervous about being a good dad. Then my nephew came along and frankly no-one compares to his wonderful Uncle! When he was 3 months old DH agreed to start trying.
The difficulty is you don't know how long it will take. This board is full of women who have been trying for a long time. It was 2 years 8 months for us so I'm glad we started when we did. Ironically now DD is here we're in a much more comfortable position than when we started TTC. I think if you're stable enough, don't delay waiting for the perfect time...it will never come!
I second what everyone else said, there is no 'perfect' time and I have been told the same thing a number of times this year!
We were TTC earlier this year but then I heard news about my job (I'm a contractor and was told I was being put forward for a conversion to employee). So we waited to hear...and we're still waiting. Initially it was a case of whether or not I'd still have a job come August but it turns out I will, so that's at least some good news.
My friend who is pregnant now (she had a mc last year and this one has stuck) keeps telling me off, she speaks from experience as she waited due to her job and then for her husband to be ready...by the time it all happened she's in her 40s and will realistically only have 1 child. Even my boss told me not to put my life on hold for a job!
It's finally sunk in that things won't be perfect - it's life (I always imagined myself to be thin before being pregnant and I'm not!) and something will always get in the way. Throw in the fact that my husband will be 40 this year (I just turned 30) I am finally coming round to the thinking of 'fvck it, let's just do it' so I think we are going to start again.
I knew I was ready when instead of congratulation pregnant women. on announcing their pregnancies I would just say "Oh are you" very coldly and start to feel tears well up. I am ttc again as I said and thankfully this time I am not experiecing any jealousy of pregnant women in fact I love chatting to them about their pregnancy. xx