The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

(985 Posts)
HesterShaw Fri 19-Apr-13 22:18:12

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

Northey Fri 19-Apr-13 22:24:18

Relax, you say? Don't mind if I do. I might even give AMNH a sensual massage with candles oo er. Forgetting all about it and having a moment of pure lurve is bound to work.

evilgiraffe Fri 19-Apr-13 22:26:25

Yeah! <shakes fist> <spills gin>

HesterShaw Fri 19-Apr-13 22:29:18

Oh yes. And if anyone says "You need to relax! My aunty's hairdresser's cousin's cleaner had 3 rounds of IVF and then got pregnant NATURALLY when she went on holiday!" we won't be answerable for our actions.

evilgiraffe Fri 19-Apr-13 22:34:02

And the "well if it doesn't work you can always adopt" ignorant fuckers can fuck off, too.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 19-Apr-13 22:38:09

<makes self at home>

<crosses fingers and makes a wish>

Am I pregnant yet? wink

HesterShaw Fri 19-Apr-13 22:38:47

<throws some babydust at Frank>

Probably hun.

HesterShaw Fri 19-Apr-13 22:38:58

Have you BDed lately?

evilgiraffe Fri 19-Apr-13 22:44:09

Don't even joke about "BD", hest, some of us have been sick more than enough this week already...

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 19-Apr-13 22:46:16

Anyone seen the Conception Prediction thread? hmm

HesterShaw Fri 19-Apr-13 22:46:20

Sorry my love hag.

I am watching Graham Norton. Mo Farrah sat between Lee Mack and Gwyneth Paltrow. I love this show. Mo has barely heard of Gwynnie, let alone Lee Mack. He spends all his day running.

HesterShaw Fri 19-Apr-13 22:46:45

Conception prediction? I don't like the way this is sounding....

evilgiraffe Fri 19-Apr-13 23:05:43

I've not seen the thread, but it sounds hilarious.

Mo Farah is one of my personal sporting heroes - such a huge talent and such a nice guy! Who the fuck is Lee Mack?

HesterShaw Fri 19-Apr-13 23:19:24

He's a comedian! He's funny and I think sexy in a weird way but his sitcom is so to curlingly bad, I can't forgive him it.

Nokkie73 Fri 19-Apr-13 23:25:33

I think lee mack is quite fit. I confessed this to my friends and they basically paraded me through the streets shouting 'unclean.....unclean'.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 19-Apr-13 23:30:17

Lee Mack was a stable lad at Ginger McCain's yard and sat on Red Rum <troo fact>

The thread is odd and has strangely angered me. Someone has found an online clairvoyant who will predict for you when you will conceive, and take £5 off you in the process. I just think it's a blatant exploitation of emotionally vulnerable women.

CaptainMoll Fri 19-Apr-13 23:49:36

Evenin' 'ags
<doffs cap>
<hangs up coat>
<pours self an ale>
<sits in old armchair by roaring fire>
<lights pipe>
<chuffs>

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 19-Apr-13 23:52:36

<marks spot> vairy naice new home laydees.

Nokkie73 Fri 19-Apr-13 23:59:05

faif forgot to say congrats on the sproggins. Hope all is well with you both. Xx

cap'n wossin your pipe ?

CaptainMoll Sat 20-Apr-13 00:15:39

<embarrassed cough>
Bubbles..
grin

Nokkie73 Sat 20-Apr-13 00:18:35

Has the captain been a naughty seadweller grin ?

CaptainMoll Sat 20-Apr-13 01:00:17

<brandishes cutlass>
Me? Nope.

FriendofDorothy Sat 20-Apr-13 08:07:56

<wanders in with pompoms and sits down to wait>

EuroShaggleton Sat 20-Apr-13 08:11:47

Morning hags!

Today is very eggciting. I had my first string of EWCM today in about two years. Maybe the mc has reset something. Or maybe not trying last month has helped me to relax.... (so clearly it is bound to happen now). Either that or it was beer. I had beer last night, for the first time in AGES.

Right, better go and pack.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Sat 20-Apr-13 08:38:32

<adds beer to list of "TTC Must Haves>

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