Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake part 5

(315 Posts)

Hoping the new thread brings a plethora of BFPs and lots of healthy arrivals!

Mon26 Mon 25-Mar-13 13:48:09

Hello ... it seems this is a happy thread,.. and I will try my best...

I have been told today that I am starting my 4th miscarriage in a row. Few days ago about 5 weeks and 4 days I stopped having symptoms.

I am a bit (a lot in fact) distressed, sad, trying to cope and I can only feel I have a "bad body" unable to procreate. My sisters and brother all have healthy babies! I even have a friend older than me (40) that she got pregnant on December and happily all is going well.

Why is it so difficult? what is the problem? Could stress play an important part?
One of the feelings I am trying to cope with is the fear of disappointing my husband (which logically I know he loves me and takes care of me) but also the feeling of emptyness, of not knowing what to do next, and the feeling of failing are taking a real toll on me.

So, you that are experienced, when does one starts trying after a miscarriage? can I go to the gym and swim right after the bleeding stops? How did you manage to keep a healthy mind and emotional balance?

Thank you!

squizita Mon 25-Mar-13 15:07:25

Hi- mind if I join this thread? Trying after 2 MCs in 6 months. Good news is, for a 34 year old, my eggs seem to give me BFPs (ha take that Daily Mail scare stories) ... sadly my insides failed me on the previous 2 at about 6-7 weeks. sad

Now trying again and could do with some moral support! smile

Mon26 Mon 25-Mar-13 15:28:23

Hi squizita... sorry to hear.
as you read i am on the same boat. have you had your cycle monitored? with the scan they found that i was ovulating well ( i too get pregnant with certain easyness) but apparently i had not enough progesterone... and with the miscarriage today doctor said I might need some more "research" on what could the problem be....

squizita Mon 25-Mar-13 15:35:54

As I'm only on the second MC, they have advised just trying again. If it happens again I know they will refer me to the famous centre (in Hammersmith & Paddington) as it's local. With me they were adament from the scan that everything looked 'normal' and was growing at the correct speed but sadly the embryo died. Hence they said try again then they will test.

squizita Mon 25-Mar-13 15:38:19

Sorry stoopid laptop cut me off. They can be so frustratingly slow at deciding what to do and testing can't they grrr... best of luck, I do hope they give you answers soon!

amicablemoomin Mon 25-Mar-13 17:29:24

Hi Mon26 and squizita. So sorry to hear of your losses. It is really the worst, most horrible time sad

In answer to your question about gym/swim mon26, I was told that could do gentle exercise at the gym as soon as I was ready and build up (but I was exhausted for about a month and could hardly lift the remote) and was told to avoid swimming for 6 weeks.

Hope that helps......thinking of you both.

BoyMeetsWorld Mon 25-Mar-13 18:34:51

Hi all,

Just posting in a mad panic, going to read through all your posts properly and get to know you in a min...

I had a MC in Dec & have literally just this minute found out I'm pg again. Absolutely terrified confused

We'd persuaded ourselves to wait to 'try' as ive been offered a fantastic job in 6 months' time. Which I guess is now out the window. But above all I'm petrified I'm not strong enough to go through this again.

I've been feeling really ill and exhausted, with awful tummy pains and a little spotting on fri. But no other symptoms it was only the missed AF that made me wonder.

Oh god, not sure I can do this - or my poor DH, he wants it so much - & this pain surely isn't a good sign confused

Massive hugs to you all, thanks for listening

BoyMeetsWorld Mon 25-Mar-13 18:41:20

Just read through..Mon and Squizita oh no, you poor - and incredibly strong! - things. That's my worst fear and suspicion of this pg. I get pg very easily too - do you reckon there could be any link?? Fx for you both & utmost admiration for keeping on trying

Dorita75 Mon 25-Mar-13 19:47:36

LCR I found out I had rhesus negative blood when I had the mc last year and the nurse gave me an injection after the ERPC. Didn't know what it meant and to honest, the doctor didn't help make it very clear. From what I understand, after much reading, is that it is okay in a first pregnancy but during the birth, when yours and the baby's blood come into contact (they can also come into contact during mc or if you have a serious fall when pregnant), if the baby is not rhesus negative, your body makes antibodies to protect your blood from what it sees as something harmful. So next time you get pregnant you already have the antibodies in your blood ready to attack. You need the injection to stop that happening. They usually give you another shot of the injection in the few weeks before the birth too. Do you know what your DH is? We've not found out yet, but if he's the same there's no problem as the baby will be rhesus negative too.

Congratulations boymeetsworld you are officially in metalling phase. No matter what you planned or the worry over being pg, you are pregnant today and all you can do is try to go with the flow..easy words, you can tell me to get lost if you want!!

Mon have you had any investigations so far? I've just had one mc which was bad enough, I cannot imagine how sad you must feel or answer those questions, I just hope that others can offer more support on here, and that you can get some help to look into things.

I'm sorry that you're also here squizita at 34 you have a lot going for you though and I'm glad you're so positive about trying again smile Here's lots of the requested moral support! flowers smileflowers

HJBeans Mon 25-Mar-13 22:41:53

Welcome Mon26 and squizita. So sorry you find yourself here, but hope you find as much comfort and support as I have on the thread. I may have recommended it to this thread before, but if you've not come across it, I'd really recommend the book 'Coming to Termiffy Jon Cohen if you want to know more about recurrent mc.

It's by a science journalist whose wife suffered multiple losses and I read it after my second when I was trying to understand what could be causing them. It's really useful in summarising what little is known and the huge amount that's not known about recurrent miscarriage and it also has some very hopeful, and truthful, stats about chances for successful pregnancy after many losses.

Wecome to you, too, BoyMeetsWorld, and congrats on your BFP. Understand the intensity of the fear when you know your pregnant again and hope the next few months go quickly and uneventfully for you. Do you have an EPU which will give extra scans, etc., because of your history?

I found myself wondering if getting pregnant quite easily could be a factor, too, as both my pregnancies ending in early miscarriage were conceived on the first or second month we tried. There was actually was something in the news about this last year (Google 'super-fertility' and 'miscarriage' to read about it), so this is an area of active research.

Glad you've gotten to hear the heartbeat, lcr77, and hope the rhesus news turns out to be not much of anything to worry about. Will keep fingers crossed. Can you get a midwife or someone to explain the ramifications to you a bit more?

And finally, thanks, jolly, feeling much better now. Think my body has worked out how to cope with the new huge bump and I've been sleeping and eating ok the last few days. Sleep makes a world of difference. smile

HJBeans Mon 25-Mar-13 22:42:42

Bloody iPad. The book is Coming to Term. blush

squizita Tue 26-Mar-13 09:46:10

Well that IS interesting HJBeans! I will deffo google it - talking of mega fertile erm... my AF is late today. But I do have a very short cycle since my MCs so I dunno if it's just gradually extending to a normal length a day at a time or something. Frustratingly, at day 11 after OV, too early to reliably test (yes I did, if anything was there too faint to see as pee tests only work about 4-6 days after).

Boymeetsworld - some spotting is OK, as is pain. I had back and stomach pain both times, but it was different from MC pain - and was a symptom of pregnancy. Sending you wishes!!

BoyMeetsWorld Tue 26-Mar-13 17:32:10

It is definitely interesting!

Hmmm this pain is diff to mc, but actually worse I think - more sudden sharp pains than constant cramps? Oh fearing the worst!

Best wishes to you all too x

Hello everyone, can i join you all on the voyage?
Dh has finally agreed to trying for a baby, baby no5!
Wasn't contemplating anymore babies, until i became pregnant by mistake on the contraceptive pill!
Although my pregnancy was an accident, i got used to the idea, as did dh but unfortunately i had a miscarriage sad. It really shocked me, and I'm still upset about it now, but i feel ready to try again so im looking to join this thread.
I have had one full cycle since my mc, so im safe to start trying as soon as smile.
Goodluck to all of us, sprinkling baby dust flowers

BoyMeetsWorld Wed 27-Mar-13 08:02:52

Morning pumpkin! & good luck, they do say we're super fertile after mc, and worked for me without really trying so fx for you!

Jollyb Wed 27-Mar-13 08:06:55

Hello to all the newcomers. Will reply properly later - having a bit of a hectic couple of days at work. Last day before Easter though - hurrah!

13loki Wed 27-Mar-13 08:16:38

Can I join in? I had a mc in Feb, and then started trying again once I got a BFN. Just got a BFG on Friday, and now not letting myself get excited or be happy about it. I do feel sick, but I think it's being stressed about it rather than actual morning sickness.

BoyMeetsWorld Wed 27-Mar-13 08:26:09

13loki tentative congrats! (same as me - I'm not accepting it until at least 12 weeks). Have you actually been sick or just getting nausea? That's all I have...wish I had some clear symptoms really & keep hearing morning sickness means less chance of mc - never been so eager to throw up!!

13loki Wed 27-Mar-13 08:47:15

Congratulations boymeetsWorld
I haven't been sick yet, just a little nausea. Which would be very welcome after the two horrific sicky pregnancies I had with DS and DD, if it wasn't for mc last month.

Ah, if only i could properly work out dates. I am really glad to have been able to get pg so quickly, but if I had a period in between then I'd find the dating thing easier confused . Oh, I live in Sweden, so I have to battle through midwife appointments in my broken swedish, everyone speaks english, but lots of the subtleties are lost. Dreading trying to explain it, over the phone, as I'll have to give them dates before I can get an appointment.

squizita Wed 27-Mar-13 09:36:37

Morning sickness means less chance? I guess it's a symptom of the baby growing and it affecting your body.

Still in complete limbo myself... 12 or 13 days after OV, no AF (I have a short cycle) but too early to accurately test - don't want to until Friday anyway. Psychologically if it's a very weak one which won't implant fully, I'd rather not get '1 week' on a digi test telling me 'yeah you were pregnant for a few days there'. :/ I'd rather get AF or a BFP pink line on an old school test.
I don't even know if I'm having any symptoms TBH as I don't want to lie to myself. Smells like fag smoke stronger etc' (or is that just shut windows with the cold?), tired and achy (again, cold and long days at work), bloated (something I ate)... I just don't know.

13loki, and boymeetsworld congrats and fingers crossed squita smile. I have just finished my first af since mc, so hope to have a bfp very soon and if not by the end of the year.

13loki Wed 27-Mar-13 12:03:08

Thanks pumpkin Good luck. I am really surprised it happened so quickly.

Good luck suizita

Redbird12 Wed 27-Mar-13 20:47:38

Hi to all the newcomers, congrats to those with BFP's and fingers crossed to those TTC.

Had results of my nuchal/blood tests today, Downs risk 1: 19,000 so low risk. Another 5 weeks until 20 week scan, already starting to get more anxious that something will go wrong and this time it will result in having to deliver a dead baby rather than 'just' an ERPC. I really need to relax and stop thinking about this but I feel like I have to prepare myself just in case.

Mon26 so sorry to hear you are going through a 4th miscarriage, that it is heartbreaking. Did you have any tests done after your 3rd? If not, you should push for these when you feel up to it to see if there is anything they can do? It's really hard to know when to stop trying. After 2 mc I knew I wanted to try again but couldn't do it straight away. I don't know how i would feel after a 3rd or 4th. I think you need to not make any decisions now but give yourself time to recover and see how you feel in 3 months or whatever is the right time frame for you.

oo00PIXIE00oo Wed 27-Mar-13 21:53:22

Evening ladies - I'm here still lurking in the background - welcome to the new ladies and I'm sorry you find yourselves here but this is the best place to be for you right now - you will feel the love and support in the room as time goes on and plenty of hand holding.

Congratulations mumtum - wow I first met you when we mc'd early last year and now look a you smile xx

Great to hear some good results and scan stories smile

mrshp how are you doing?

jolly how was the holiday v jealous smile

Afm I have officially stopped bleeding and am now waiting for that bloody woman to arrive - the specialist said we were damn unlucky even at my age (nearly 43) to have suffered three mc's in the last 12 months and said the odds are in our favour for the next one smile a friend suggested IVF - how do you explain to a non-maternal person that I have no problem getting pg ....... It's just staying pg I have problems with???

Wedding plans are going great guns, dress picked and paid for - unfortunately the poor lady in the bridal shop had a bit of a shock when I said the wedding is July this year lol luckily it doesn't need too much alteration (unless we get lucky between now and then blush)

Love to you all and big hugs to those in need ;) enjoy your Easter break xx

MrsHeggulePoirot Wed 27-Mar-13 22:53:14

<waves> I am still here, end of term manic-ness. I shall catch up and post proper soon I promise.

Hello to new joiners, so sorry you are here, but a very big welcome to you.

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