Emmsys Weebles - moving to the Greenhouse for spring and summer!(997 Posts)
Onwards and upwards lovelies... Bfp's, bumps, babies and young graduates, growing nicely back in the warmth of the greenhouse...
mrskate I'm so sorry I too had to wait a week after being told there was no heartbeat & it was torture. Really feel for you.. can't believe you're having to go through this again so glad you have Jack, and mrkate and remindme.. plus lots of mini eggs of course.
Massive hugs to all x x x
Not doing to well today crying all the bloody time getting agitated with jack when i shouldn't be. dh is at work so struggling with him being a normal 3 year old terrorising the house bless him tho was crying earlier and he sat on my knee and said mummy are you poorly i said no just sad he kissed me and said all better then mummy love you melts my heart he makes this mess at little bit better to deal with
Scan is 2nd april beacuse of easter !!!!!!
Aww mrskate isn't there anyone who you can be with, or can help out with Jack for a few hours? Can dh throw a sicky for a day or 2, just so he's there for you? You're bound to be feeling crap, you've had sad news and its still sinking in. Crying is good though. And Jack wont remember that you were cross with him, they forgive and forget so quickly. I'm on your behalf, that's more than 2 weeks! Sending you huge hugs and strength to get through this.
Mr Kate is back from work now. I just read MrsKate's post below and threatened to kidnap her and DS and subject her to my cooking! But it's ok she's just fetched Mr Kate from work so she'll be able to have a nice evening meal with him instead.
Moon I had nuchal fold and blood tests with both of mine even though like you there wouldn't be any results that would stop me from wanting to keep my babies. As I'm a nurse and DH is a doctor we both have experience from work that tells us poorly babies have a better chance if parents and medical staff know in advance. Then no home births, no midwife care centres, and only giving birth at a huge hospital with every type of medical team at the ready.
We didn't find out the sex either time though.
remindme I'm so glad you're there to look out for mrskate
Actually yes that makes sense about knowing if you need extra help at the birth, I hadn't thought about it that way. I was too busy being adamant I was keeping the baby whatever. Still want to know the sex....
So sorry not been around to give more support and hand holding to mrskate, yesterday evening or today... its such an awful thing to go through, and awful limbo land status being inflicted on you by the hospital making you wait... So, crap... In my sadly, quite extensive experience, my first mc, was the same as you're going through, a bleed, a&e scan referral, who then queried dates, despite my being sure, suggested re scans for growth within 1/2wks... However I went on to fully miscarry/bleed, which i was grateful for, cos at least u know then... Every mc after that, Id already had epu scans so dates weren't questioned and as soon as no heartbeats were seen, erpc was offered immediately.. You can sort of see why they offer rescans, because if dates were wrong, and there was the slimmest chance the baby could still grow, obviously that would be awful... However, obviously, in your case, you are sure of dates, how does it all tie in with the previous scan you had? Has that been taken into consideration too? Either way, I would most definitely push, and push, for another scan within the week... There is absolutely no need to wait til April, that's just torturous... How many wks would your dates make you? Just feel for you so much and wish I could do more to help
Just checking in on mrskate. I can't believe they are making you wait so long can anyone have a word on your behalf? I can't even imagine how you are getting through the day on your own, I'm so glad remindme is there for you and dh is home. Bless little Jack for trying to make it all better. Please come on here as much as you can when you need to chat xxx
moon I would have been the same in that I wanted the baby if it was able to have any quality of life and I would love it no matter what but I would have wanted to know beforehand or at least be halfway prepared if anything was wrong. I think it's a very personal thing though.
Just popping in with a hug for Mrskate. Don't be so hard on yourself about being short with Jack. It's understandable and like Moon says he won't remember. You're already dealing with enough without berating yourself about it. Really and on your behalf that they are making you wait so long but understand the need for certainty. Hang on in there xx
Hello to the rest of you. It really IS my intention to do personals again soon.
Got dr this morning to get some time off work i hope .
Feeling empty and lost I'm just glad I've got you girls to get me through this again xx
Signed me off to the 4th april which was the date of 12 week scan
She wants me to start my antidepressants again and think i might benefit from counselling
<gathers mrskate into a big bear hug>
You poor love, I'm so sorry this is happening.
Big hugs mrskate. How do you feel about ADs? You have very good reason to feel like an emotional wreck, anxious, depressed, sad after what has happened but is this something more long term?
I stopped taking ads to ttc with suffering severe pnd i dont want it to be long term but dr concern i could have a relapse with depression
Glad to hear you've been signed off for a couple of weeks mrskate its hard enough without having to contemplate work, at least you can spend some time with jack and try to get your head around things. I don't have any experience of ad's, although I was offered and I refused, but I think like curly says, you need to give yourself time to grieve first before you can work out how you might feel in the long term. But understand the dr's point of view too. Why is life so bloody shit sometimes.... I'll never understand why anyone should have to go through this, let alone more than once. More hugs coming your way, shout if you need us xxx
mrskate I'm glad you have got some time off. It must be so difficult trying to keep it all under control while looking after Jack. I know that I couldn't bear to be around anyone for a couple of weeks in case anyone gave me a kind look and set me off but hopefully it will help to have him around to stop you thinking too much stay strong brave lady xxxx
Well took jack to soft play with my friend and her twin boys i didn't want to change jacks routine and trying to act normal for his sake it was hard running to toilet every 5 mins and in agony with cramps and backache maybe bit off more can chew with trying to act normal
Well now you need to rest and put your feet up, just make life as easy as possible for yourself. Jack will be fine, cuddle him and watch cbeebies be kind to yourself xx
mrskate normal is good sometimes even though it feels like hard work, but the distraction usually helps. I feel for you. As rumours said, do whatever makes things easier for you to get through this.
I hope you don't mind me posting this, I don't want to come across as insensitive, but we got the test results back today - 1 in 1500 low risk for down's syndrome.
Something for you to chuckle over.... my bra has been digging in all day and I've been fidgeting with it. Just been to get changed and removed 'uncomfortable bra' to find the underwire on one side has cracked in 2 must have bigger boobs than I thought! This must be sign to go bra shopping.
Mrskate It's very hard to do normal things when your heart is breaking and you are in limbo but Jack won't remember. Do whatever you need to do to get you through!
Moon This thread is for you on your journey too. It's hard to have happy news when others are struggling but you've waited a long time for this and we are all so happy for you. Fantastic news on the test results and totally loving hearing all about your pregnancy changes
mrskate have you told close friends what is going on?? I always had to have a couple of friends who knew so that I didn't have to try & act normal all the time. I'm glad you have a couple of weeks off work. Are you getting lots of cramps & have you got strong painkillers?
Moon they are fantastic odds. With dd1 I was 1 in several thousand but they didn't offer blood tests then, with dd2 as I said the other day I was 1 in 149 (reduced to 1 in 95 after a second lot of blood tests) & with ds I was very happy to be 1 in 270, especially as I was the grand old age of 42!
How are you doing today mrskate? I'm with MLSdoesntlookadayover32 on telling a few close friends in RL. Especially friends like remindme who will understand and won't say stuff that is well-intentioned but makes you want to punch them big hugs, it must be so hard trying to make things normal for Jack when your world is falling apart. You may not feel like it but you are doing amazing. Take some time for yourself too if anyone can take jack if only for a good cry and a cuppa xxx
Waves to neeko and rumours
moon that is wonderful news well done moonbabe and lol at your (.)(.) making their presence known!!!
Oh kate I so feel for you but yes tell a couple of friends! If it happened to one of my close friends I'd be taking their child to soft play or something to give them time to rest..maybe someone can do the same for you? Really hope the pains aren't too bad & jack is being a really good boy for you.
rumours how are you?? Is ds2 fully recovered now?
moon ACE news about your results, oooh it's all so exciting!! Are you swaying dh on finding out the flavour yet?? Just in case he won't budge..I will say that I loved not knowing, & being able to come up with shortlists of names for both sexes..but then I know lots of people like to be prepared with clothes etc so it's swings & roundabouts!
4ever you've been a bit quiet.. all ok in camp cotton wool?! How many weeks now? Have we hit the magical viable stage??
Right I'm off to eat the chocolate egg ds2 was given at playgroup this morning..he's far too young for such things!!
mrskate I agree with the others, it might help if you can tell even one friend, I never told anyone except family and looking back I think it would have helped. I've told a few people since what happened and they all said why didn't you say, we could have helped. But its down to how you feel really, as I'm quite a private person and find it hard to tell people these things until afterwards, which is why this thread is invaluable to me.
cupcake I think I have persuaded dh actually tbh I think he persuaded himself! He is beyond himself with excitement, and I think he wants to know now. Everytime I come out with a new symptom, he's on google, saying oh yes that's normal, and its about the right time lol, bless him.
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