Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

(975 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 09:51:11

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! smile

CaliBee Sun 28-Apr-13 18:31:03

Hi all.
green yeh spoke to him today and yesterday....he is miserable as sin, complaining of manflua cold and a sore knee. I think he has had enough now and needs a good break. Only 3 more weeks and he's done grin. Glad your family are pleased for you....oh and I was exatly the same, I tested and temped for at least 2 weeks after my bfp!!!!!!!
I saw the faintest of lines on a test last night but have put it down to an evap line as it has no colour and really is a faint as you can possibly imagine. Crazily I kept my test sticks from my pregnancy last year and compared it to the ones on cd10 from then. Looks very very similar to be fair but the test I did earlier was as arctic white as was possible. I said I wasnt even going to bother testing this time due to the very low chances.....but I was bored grin
I now am sure I am going to wear my second dress for the wedding. Its much more fitted and I feel nice in it. I couldnt get over that slight "frumpy" feel I had with the Monsoon one. I do need to get some flat shoes however as it sits too high with heels on. DF will tower over me (he's 6ft 2 and I'm 5ft 5)

CaliBee Sun 28-Apr-13 18:43:32

I have put a pic on my profile of the dress....let me know what you think.

jass43 Sun 28-Apr-13 19:48:53

Ladies, can I join you? I came to MN via Prednisolone thread, and as I now despite a hopeful beginning on my first pred-supported pregnancy end up ttc again I decided to ask for a permission to come in. hoping to be accepted despite not being from UK. Am 43, have went through 9 early mc, normally at week 5, last one at week 8. So being a rather basket case I feel I might fit in here more than ttc after mc board. All my mc date from last 3 years.
Decided to delurk today as felt some really sisterly feelings towards green - I still look the photos of my last positive tests even if I have now miscarried. Best luck with your pregnancy

And Calibee - I have a DD who is 25 and am somehow expecting her to get pg soon now.
I have three sons as well, 20,8 and 4. So don't ask me why I feel the need to have one more to the extent I am ready to go through repeated mc hell, but I do. If nuts are not accepted here, tell me and I will re-lurk....:-)

greenlizard Sun 28-Apr-13 20:56:52

Hi Jass and welcome! So sorry to hear about your MC - that must have been so tough for you. Are you still being treated with prednisolone? You don't seem to have a problem with conceiving so hopefully when treated you will be on your way to another successful pregnancy very soon smile There are quite a few ladies on this thread who are not from the UK (Australia, Belgium, Italy etc.) Where do you live? And I am glad I am not the only one to take photo's of my BFP and look at it on my phone! Also like the way you think you will fit in as a basket-case gringrin.....

Calibee I can't see your photo's! When I go into your profile it says you haven't posted any public photos? I am dying to see it, so any time in the next five minutes would be great smile

x

NotCarrieBradshaw Sun 28-Apr-13 21:27:25

Hi everyone.
Feeling very grumpy today. One more week to go, then AF, then away we go. Think I have PMT brewing hmm

Hi Jass, welcome smile

Green, I don't chart my temp or use OPK's as I ovulate half way through each month. (at least I think I do, egg white and all that, sorry for tmi). I just keep track where I am and I'll try and be very seductive around that time grin

I allowed myself to look at prams on the Internet for 5 minutes today. Somebody slap me please.

CaliBee Sun 28-Apr-13 22:01:15

oops try it now

notsoold Sun 28-Apr-13 22:02:27

Jass welcome!!! smile

hopefulgum Mon 29-Apr-13 00:56:01

Morning All. Welcome Jass, all basket cases welcome here. If you read further up the thread about all the nutty things I have done whilst ttc, you'll know that nutcases are well and truly welcome here!confused

Green I totally understand all the pee-ing on sticks. I did the same. With Charlie's pregnancy, I found out a couple of days before we went on a 6 week family trip. I took a truckload of tests with me and continued to take them everyday until 6 weeks! It is hard to relax about pregnancy at this age. All very understandable behaviours. With my last miscarriage, I was glad I had kept testing as it actually helped me mentally accept that it wasn't a sticky bean.

Jass, I am so sorry for your losses. How difficult to have them repeatedly. Have you had tests that reveal you need the prednisolone?

Calibee, I love the dress,It is very elegant. How exciting to be planning and looking forward to your wedding.smile And pretty exciting about the faint +. Have you tested again? Did it come up in five minutes? I wouldn't rule it out just because you had sex a few days before ovulation. Your DP is young and his swimmers are bound to be Olympic starsgrin

notcarrie, there is nothing wrong with dreaming about the future you will have with your baby. I won't slap you if you don't slap me for looking at gorgeous Maternity wear, and collecting tiny little items of clothing for my "hope" box tucked into the back of my wardrobe. I think it is a good thing - it is visualising what you hope for, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Since I got back from my lovely relaxing break with friends, I have been getting stuck into cleaning my house. I always let it slip when I am working, and after staying in my friends lovely clean house, I feel inspired to really clean it rather than just skimming the surface. I scrubbed the bathroom yesterday, including the ceiling and skirting boards. It was filthy, so it feels good to have that done. I might give cleaning a miss today, as I have to go into town and buy a birthday gift for my DD2 (second last baby) who is turning 13 this week.shock

Deige, what's going on? It has been too long between visits. I do hope all is well.

We haven't had a bistro in a while...how about this Friday??smile

greenlizard Mon 29-Apr-13 07:14:40

Wow Calibee your dress is really beautiful! Simple, elegant and designed to show you off is an understated way! I think it was Coco Chanel who said "dress badly they notice the dress, dress well and they notice the woman".All eyes will be on you. Thank you for sharing it with us! I am getting excited on you behalf...has their been a 40-something-thread-wedding before? Are you the first then Morien?

And the possible +ve?! What test did you use (have you done another one this morning with FMU?) This is very exciting news!

Thank you Calibee and Hopeful for not making me feel like the total loon that my DP does (though he is being indulgent smile) for peeing on everything and anything and still taking my temp...glad you understand smile.

Calibee you cleaned your bathroom ceiling! What! I am ashamed to say that we have a cleaner who is amazing and manages to get the house looking so much better than I ever can, but even with her high standards I am not sure that even she has ever cleaned my bathroom ceiling confused

<waves to everyone else>

CaliBee Mon 29-Apr-13 07:35:00

I confess to testing about 4 times yesterday and studying them in all sorts of lights and at all sorts of angles. I could say some have a hint of a shadow..........but when I look again I cant see anything, and no, they weren't visible at 5 minutes. It's pure fantasy and have resolved to give myself a good shake/slap and not test this morning. Temp took a fairly dramatic fall too, although not below coverline it went from 36.5 yesterday to 36.2 today, so I am sure af is on her way!!!
I'm glad you like the dress...I hate anything too dressy, it's just not me.

Welcome to jass...its good here, we are all nuts together smile

gum that exact thing happens to me too after visiting friends....I always get this incredible urge to clean/decorate/ buy fripperies for the house. Glad you had a nice break though. My nephew who teaches cricket over in your lovely country, flew out to Bali on a whim yesterday....all right for some eh?

NotCarrieBradshaw Mon 29-Apr-13 14:44:43

Evil PMT.
No cigarettes for just over a week.
My poor Dp x

sparklysapphire Mon 29-Apr-13 15:37:18

Calibee, I finally managed to peek at your dress. You'll look absolutely gorgeous in it.

JBrd Mon 29-Apr-13 19:42:15

Good evening, ladies <<waves at everyone>>

Welcome, jass, so sorry about all your losses, but lovely that you are joining us (although I bet you wish you wouldn't have to). As CaliBee says, here we go crazy together, hold each other's hands and give lots of support. Where are you based?

gum I'm shock that you cleaned your bathroom ceiling! That has honestly never ever crossed my mind! But then again, our bathroom ceiling is covered with peeling paint, so cleaning it would has detrimental effects grin

green You test as much as you like, girl. I kept testing for about 2 weeks after I first had my BFPs, and I had photos of my +ve tests on my phone, too, to look at to remind myself. Every little helps!

Cali Really like your dress, so nice and simple! With the white dresses, it's so easy to become a giant meringue (or worse), but this one is lovely with clean lines.
And what's been happening with your line, any further developments?!?!

I've been lying low for a while, I wasn't in a very good place in the last few weeks - but starting to feel better now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. These hormones have a lot to answer for angry
I was actually relatively OK until Friday - keeping myself busy with lots of baking and gardening, which really helped me to get my mind of things and focus on something enjoyable.
But then I had my follow-up scan on Friday - all good and clean, nothing has been left behind, everything is as it should be, given the circumstances. No intervention required whatsoever. Been poas over the last few days, too, and the line is almost gone.

But my mood on Friday and Saturday was awful - I think it must have really hit me then, the finality of the second miscarriage and all that. I felt so angry, sad and disappointed. Poor DH and DS have been very much at the receiving end of my mood swings.
And then we met with a group of friends on Sunday, to greet one couples' 2-week old DD2 - I had been absolutely dreading it, but it was not bad after all! I actually enjoyed the baby cuddles, and if anything, it made me feel more positive again. These friends are lovely, I've been getting so much support from them.

I've been thinking of maybe taking a bit of a break from ttc - but I don't think I will, I don't feel I have the time! But tbh, I'm dreading the whole palaver again - the temping, charting, poas, monitoring and the dtd timing, the 2ww, more poas... It is so exhausting! And so far removed from how it's meant to be, sigh.
But hey-ho, at least I know it works! The stats are, for once, in favour, when it comes to the active ttc - 1st pg happened within 4 months of starting to use OPKs, 2nd BFP within 3 months (2 of which I was temping as well) and the 3rd BFP - 1 month. Fingers crossed the trend continues. And that it'll hang around next time...

jass43 Mon 29-Apr-13 20:27:05

Jbrd, at our Great Old Age of 40 we Can have 5 mc and stil have a 50 percent chance that they are all caused by chromosomal issues. So, with 2, you are well within those limits and there is no reason to believe something more damning is going on.

Green I peed on 2 different pg tests every day from 10dpo to 20, and then again from 23 dpo to I think 27. Then st.oppeduntil started to mc, and have testing for week now to see it going lighter. I use actually Internet opks, as they are cheapest and also show changes better than hpts I have. also, a hpt were I live is 6 euros (am in Luxembourg). Do you all by your FRER tests online?

Hopeful, no, my immune tests came back neg. but my doc (not here, but in the country I come from, Estonia, which is bthw wayyyyy better in reproductive medicine than Lux) told me its worth a try. It got me a week further this time, but it enough to get more than blighted ovum. If stupid hospital here will hae the IVIG or is able to get it before I start to miscarry next time around, I can try IVIG. My doc here agreed to prescribe it, but have to pay myself presumably. My immune tests were also done n Est, here all I got done was mycoplasma, ureaplasma, day 21 progesterone and thyroid.This country is so geared towards geriatric medicine that they only started to offer ivf about 10 years ago and people still go to Belgium for better results. But my great doctor in Est promised to consult with Dr.Christiansen inCpenhagen and your Dr.Quenby in UK, as She will see them to go over interesting case studies in mid-may. Am pinning my hopes on that (probably should not do that, there is more hope on spontaneous resolving than medically overcoming whatever is my issue)

Me too, when pregnant,still look at beautiful Isabella Olivier maternity wear and Inglesina prams - even if I know it is a dream for a week. I still defiantly do and consider it my human right.

jass43 Mon 29-Apr-13 20:29:59

lots of iPad typos getting in. sorry. also the smilies and bolding not working from this machine.

notsoold Mon 29-Apr-13 22:21:45

Calibee...loved the dress!!!clean lines is always lovely!!!

Hello everyone one but a special hello to the cleaner of the week :
Gum!!! I am im awe!!! Xxx

hopefulgum Tue 30-Apr-13 01:36:36

Oh Please, don't be in awe. My cleaning prowess is not to be celebrated. Things get pretty grotty before I actually do it. As for cleaning the ceiling - I had to- there was mould growing on it, and every time I saw it I was reminded that I'm slovenlyhmm

Not much happening in Gumland. I am hoping to attack the garden today. The evil Kikuyu grass is invading everywhere. It's a blimmen nightmare and I have to spray with herbacide. I'm loathe to use chemicals, but the back-breaking weeding just won't do the trick. I have been putting it off because I seem to always be in the tww, but I'm not now, so must do it...

Apart from that, I think I might just take it easygrin I love term break, would like to permanently be on term breakhmm smile

mozzarellamummy Tue 30-Apr-13 08:05:41

Hello ladies, welcome Jass ! ... I needed a few days to recover from my birthday and acknowledge that I'm now one year older... sad .. at least I got many beautiful presents by a set of amazing friends! grin
Calibee amazing dress.....we wait for a photo with you inside! When is the exact date?
My DD is having high fever for 4 days (the same 1 week ago).. poor her, I have to make an exam of her pee and it won't be easy to get it in the plastic bag, she's 21 months and still with nappies..
Jbrd it's true anger or sorrow all come at once.. I'm happy meeting your friend wasn't that bad.. Up to now I also can cope with my friends bumps and enjoy their babies and I'm grateful about that..otherwise life would be much harder.. Yesterday a colleague at work told me she had a mc ..it was a kind of trigger, I cried and ended up with having a good talk with another colleague who didn't actually know what had happened to my baby.. it was such a relief, it's good to talk about my baby sometimes but it's really hard to find the right moment and people in real life.. I feel much better now..
..A question to everybody, has anyone of you ever considered adoption? for me personally I would see it as an option.. but DP doesn't even want to talk about it.. I wonder if it's worth trying to discuss that with him again..
Gum I forgot to tell you really look young in the photo on your profile!

Morien Tue 30-Apr-13 13:02:26

Hi everyone, haven't been posting as was away for a week, first for work (Dublin), then pleasure (girly weekend in the UK with my lovely friends). Home again now, but back to Dublin on Thurs, then am flying from there to Manchester to spend the weekend with my mum & sister.

jbrd my experience after mc was similar - right afterwards I was totally fine; it was about a week later that it hit...and boy, did it hit! Hope you're starting to feel better. BTW I'm going to make my first lot of bread from the sourdough starter tomorrow (public holiday here).

cali lovely dress! I should think about mine... Thanks for your explanation about Provera (way up-thread).

greenlizard are you over the shock yet? How are you?

hopeful it probably doesn't feel that way to you, but your term's gone so quickly for me - just yesterday you were going back to school after your summer break!

Hello jass, welcome. I'm probably your nearest neighbour on this thread - I'm in Belgium (though I'm British).

Hello to everyone else!

CaliBee Tue 30-Apr-13 14:02:47

Hi all..thanks for your comments re dress....hopefully it will be ok on the day.
Not too much to report here. 12dpo and temps continue to fall. I must have a dodgy batch of tests as nearly all show where the hormone line is...no colour in it though. Evap lines ....raaa.
Feeling down in dumps today...probably due to pms and a spot on my chin like mount vesuvias...
Love to all

notsoold Tue 30-Apr-13 22:40:09

Calibee....I am spotty so I can come and hold your hand !!!

Isabeller Tue 30-Apr-13 23:04:10

hello lovely ladies, good to catch up on your news.

We are just starting our frozen cycle [smiile]

hopefulgum Tue 30-Apr-13 23:25:57

Good Morning everyone.
Isabeller, I am so happy to hear you have started your frozen cycle. smile

Morien, may I ask what you do for work? It sounds rather glamorous, all this flying here and there. Will you be able to fit in DTD at the right time?

Calibee, sorry about the evil hpt's. I have had batches like that before, and it really is unfair to get our hopes up. Sorry you feel down in the dumps. Remember that you have a lovely wedding to look forward to and a gorgeous DF, who you'll soon be married to. Excitinggrin

As for me. Nothing new to report re: ttc. Just waiting to ovulate, getting some practice sex in before O day grin.

I spent time in the garden yesterday and whilst there felt grounded (no pun intended) and happy. I feel that we are meant to spend time at home over the next few years, finishing the house and garden (we've been building and doing the last little bits for 13 years nowshock) and that makes me feel contented. I usually feel a bit restless - the need to travel and have excitement, but I have a feeling this family trip we are making will be the last overseas one for some time, and somehow I feel that all this means there will be room for a baby.

I am thinking aloud, so I apologise if it isn't making sense. It is kind of a spiritual thing. I sometimes wonder if the time just somehow isn't right for a new baby (but doesn't it always feel like that?), but I feel something has lifted and perhaps there's more room somehow...

Have a happy day everyone.

Remember, green and all you preggo girls, For Today You Are Pregnant! How exciting and wonderful thanks

greenlizard Wed 01-May-13 07:45:56

Morning
isabeller what fabulous news you are starting to frozen cycle – hope it goes smoothly. Is it the same process as your previous cycle?

<waves> Morien you sound like you have had some busy (but fun?) weeks. Where will DTD figure in all of this? Will you be in the right place at all or are you going to wait for next cycle? I have calmed down now – I really was very shocked and all over the place (bizarre given that I was TTC confused). I couldn’t keep it up to be honest smile although I am finding it a bit hard to concentrate at work and sometimes catch myself gazing out the window during dull meetings grin I don’t feel any different except my nipples which have been standing to attention since ovulation have moved to a whole new level of sticky-out-ness and they hurt like hell (even in the shower!). If all goes well by week 8, I think I might go and have an private early scan just to see what is going on, off to see my lovely GP next week to register that I am pregnant and to thank her for being supportive (don’t think they do anything else do they until you are 12 weeks?). How are you feeling about your IUI cycle?

hopeful I love my garden too, and I know exactly what you mean about being grounded. I can go and put clippings in the compost bin and come back about 2 hours later as I start weeding and clipping. Time seems to slow down and speed up at the same time, if that makes any sense?

calibee how cruel to have a bad batch of sticks! Sorry you are feeling a bit blue. TTC is challenging enough when your DP goes away for the odd day so it must be super-hard for you at the moment. Just focus on your wedding and how much time you will have together when you are living together in Belfast. It will be amazing and TTC will be less, well, trying. Chin up.

Jass I bought my FRER direct from Firstresponse.co.uk as they had a deal on where you could buy 5 tests for £8, I bought 15 at the time but they have since stopped doing that deal (well last time I checked). I have mainly used ICs (ineternet cheapies) which I bought from Amazon.

Hi to everyone else, got to shift my behind….

jass43 Wed 01-May-13 09:44:05

Morien, Belgium is the place people often go from Lux if they need good doctoring. When my friend had a baby w intrauterine growth retardation She was sent to a hospital in Brussels whenever her doctor (the only one ready to deal with this issue in Lux) was out of country. Ridiculous, isn't it.

Calibee, are your tests internet cheapies? I have some crazy experiences with them as well. Mine were advertised as ultrasensitive, but showed lines about week later than 20dpo supermarket kind. True, they then allowed me to continue testing when other tests were saturated.

Good luck Isabeller with new cycle and green, I would definitely go for early scan - I find this terribly long wait you have to have in UK to get a scan only at 12 weeks.

I am also luckily one of those who is still able to see other bumps and babies. In fact, I feel I rather like babies. Holding them feels really good and strangely soothing. Unfortunately of course or many friends are having them nowadays anymore and probably find me crazy for trying.

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