Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

(975 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 09:51:11

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! smile

hopefulgum Sun 07-Apr-13 23:13:19

Calibee, I can see you living on the coast with a cute little bubba to keep you busy. Hang in there. Have faith in your body - it did it before and can do it again. I know how frustrating it can be. After my second miscarriage it took ages to get back on track again. And I was 44. There were times I thought I'd gone straight into menopause and my doctor even suggested there was a good chance I had. I remember feeling gutted when she called about my estrogen results and told me it was unlikely that I could ovulate. But the same month my progesterone results were very good and indicated I had...I hope your cold goes away, so you can get into the wedding preparations full steam. I love the sound of your hairstyle for the wedding.Sounds gorgeous.

That reminds me, I need a hair appointment. I've got that lovely look of silver flecking around my hairline. I wear my hair up most days at work, so it isn't a good look. I am not yet ready to have the salt-and-pepper-old-lady look. And we're going out for dinner on Saturday night (it's a work do, but at a posh French restaurant) so I should try for Saturday morning.

Mozzamama I hope AF stays away for you. Yes, my Dad emigrated to Australia when he was in his early 20's. He met my mum who was only 16 and married her the next year (she was pregnant with my brother and it was 1964). So I'm a half-cast grin. My parents took me to Italy when I was 8 years old and I actually remember a few things. Particularly Pompei, "Edenlandia"(?), The Colloseum and numerous Roman Ruins. He is from the south, a village near Napoli.

Sadly, I've not been back as an adult, and as much as I'd love to, I can't see it happening for some time - not until my kids are grown, my budget is way too tight to fly my family to Europe. My mum and dad go every two years, sometimes more often. Dad has the family house there. But he's over 70 now and I am not sure how much longer they will keep going back.

As for speaking Italian, I am ashamed that although I understand a little my ability to converse is limited. My younger sister, who has been 4 times to Italy, can speak it well. I learnt it at Uni and then later at night school, but still I am a miserable failure at it. I wish my parents spoke it at home, but my Dad didn't want us to be teased or bullied (as he was, terribly, when he came to Australia) so we spoke English at home.

Morien, how are you feeling?

Irishmammy, how is your family - are all the kids well?

Well, the "shagfest" continues. We are almost half way through, having done 3 days in a row, and both committed to doing it again tonight. However, I almost feel it is a waste of good sperm hmm as I am CD11 and still showing 'low" on the CBFM. I did have a month there where I went from "low" straight to "peak", so perhaps that will happen? I did notice this morning that my cervix is high and softer, so I am gearing up for ovulation. I am taking cough syrup which is basically guaifenisin, to help with cervical mucus. I did it when I conceived my DS, and haven't tried it again. Maybe it will help, who knows? You take it three times a day for a few days in the run up to ovulation. IF you are going to try it, make sure you take the syrup that only has the guaifenisin as the active ingredient.Other ingredients can actually dry up mucus.

A big wave to everyone out there. I hope all is well. Drop in and say hi...smile

Isabeller Mon 08-Apr-13 00:37:53

Just home and absolutely shattered but had to read your helpful responses/questions.

Love the sound of your dress Calibee & your lump story v relevant mozzarella, thank you for that.

Seems like a good moment to say "Carry On Shagging" to all grin

sparklysapphire Mon 08-Apr-13 07:45:14

Hi everyone, just a quickie to say I haven't forgotten you all! We got back from Florida early Saturday morning (hence the silence), & I've just got in from my night shift & have been trying to catch up. We did the Disneyworld thing as MIL was really keen to take DD. She's delighted to be getting another grandchild, tho disappointed with DHs reaction. Wishing you all BFPs this month, I'll catch up properly when I can. xx

CaliBee Mon 08-Apr-13 16:55:52

Thankyou hopefulgum....you are right. Isn't it crap that Dr's can give us such devastating news so lightly...especially when its not correct. Do you find the Guaifenisin works?? I have read about it and see its very commonly suggested.
Lovely to hear from you sparkly. Glad you have had a lovely break and that your mil is happy for you. Is DH still misbehaving??

CaliBee Mon 08-Apr-13 17:07:47

I just saw another thread saying Halle Berry is pregnant at 46. Hope for us yet smile

hopefulgum Mon 08-Apr-13 22:47:36

Me too Calibee, though I do wonder what kind of intervention she's had? I guess she could throw a lot of money at ttc, donor eggs, ivf etc. I'd love to know the full story. However, that thread was full of other great RL stories of women over 40,even over 45 and getting pregnant naturally.

I've just realised I only have one, yes, one stick left for my cbfm. Oh bugger. And this morning it was "low" again. Just cos this week is the shag fest, what's the bet that I don't ovulate til later??? I can't get anymore sticks at this stage because I have to order them from overseas.angry I wonder if I should order more for next month? I want to think I won't need them, but if I don't order now, it will be too late. I guess I probably will order them, because if I don't need them (fingers crossed) I can sell them on Ebay.

Anyway, Dh let me down last night, we didn't even get to try shag night number 4, because, would you believe, we had a power outage,which actually conspired against having sexconfused You see, it took ages to settle DS3, and then I sat up and read with DH, but I was tired,so told him I was off to bed. He said he'd come after he'd read a few more pages....Well, about an hour later I got up and found he was still up chatting to our DS2. I told him I was now going to sleep, and he seemed fine with that,"goodnight" he said. I am not bothered, particularly as I'm not at high or peak fertility yet. But with only one pee-stick left,I'll have to find out from OPKs when I am set to ovulate. Perhaps this day off will give him a chance to build up the sperm supply grin I plna to get right back on track with the seven days of sex. We'll have to add a day at the end to make up for itgrin

Hello to Sparkly, I am glad you had a lovely holiday and that MIL is happy. I hope she'll talk some sense into your DH. How has he been?

I had a great day at home yesterday. I have been madly decluttering my house over the last few weeks, and yesterday I finally tackled my wardrobe. What a great feeling to chuck out things I haven't used or worn for a long time. Now I have a bunch of stuff to list on Ebay, but it feels good to find space.

In fact I had better do that now.

Oh, Calibee, I am not sure about the guaifenisin working, however, I don't always have alot of fertile CM, and the cough guaifenisin helps the cm to be easier on the sperm. I actually did use it when I conceived my last DS. But I also used pre-seed, was only 41 and was having acupuncture, taking Chinese herbal supplements and other supplements. So who knows what made it happen in the end? It could have been one of those things, a combination, or just coincidence? However,I am willing to give the cough syrup a go. I don't think it will cause any problems. I've tried just about everything else, so why not?

hopefulgum Tue 09-Apr-13 22:44:34

Good Morning everyone,

It sure is quiet in the Snug....Hello...(echo)

Just thought I'd best drop in and report that the "shagfest" is back ongringringrin and I got a "high" on the monitor this morning, which is great. However, I won't be able to test for peak, as I used my last stick this morning. I don't know why I am getting anxious about that, I have about 100 internet cheapy opks confused. So I'll just pee on them instead. I am guess I'll ovulate in the next couple of days, and I'll have plenty of troops in place waiting for my lovely golden egg. happy days

Nothing more to report really. I have after hours professional Learning today. It is raining outside, which is good, feels like the summer spell may have broken. I know it must sound crazy to you,in cold U.K, but I feel ready for some chilly weather and a chance to snuggle.

Oh, I checked on the internet (so it must be true) and Halle Berry"s pregnancy was a complete surprise....grin How fab!No IVF or anything else, just all natural.

I hope everyone is well.

Mozzamummy, did AF turn up,or do you have some good news for us?

Isabeller Tue 09-Apr-13 23:47:16

Hello lovely hopeful as it is rather quiet I will come out of my shell again. I've been looking in fairly often but I didn't want to put lots of anxious negative stuff on here when the Affair of the Suspicious Lump was on. I was feeling very odd as well. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than completely practical tasks.

I feel loads of affection for the posters on this thread and lots of support from everyone despite having really given up on the possibility of natural conception myself. When I have posted this I will go back and do some catching up to see how everyone is getting on.

Although the doctors can't give me a guarantee I think I will go with the general feeling that the lump is nothing to worry about. The last few months have left me a bit emotionally ragged but I'm sure if I was lucky enough to get pregnant I would have a magical injection of confidence and excitement.

The thing that is really bothering me is my inability to lose weight. I've made some good changes to my diet and exercise habits but clearly not enough.

Glad to hear the shagfest is back on wink hoping good things for your golden egg xx

Irishmammybread Tue 09-Apr-13 23:51:22

I've tried to post twice earlier tonight and the screen froze, very frustrating! Hopefully it's third time lucky!
gum my family are all well,thank you for asking! They are all still on their Easter holidays, DS isn't back at Uni for another week and a half. I love having everyone home together. The girls are making the most of their last few days off so we've had friends over and plenty of walks,trips to animal farm,wildbird reserve,cinema etc.
Your shagfest seems to have worked very well,timing sounds ideal!
How accurate do you find opk tests? I've had varied results but don't seem to get a very clear positive until the day of ovulation and still get a positive the day after,this month it was unclear on ovulation day(def not quite as dark as control line) and positive the day after. If I wasn't temping as well I'd be confused as to ovulation day.It's even confused fertility friend this time! I know I've not been consistent with doing the test at the same time each day or making sure I've not been drinking for a few hours before so I wonder if that's affecting results....or maybe it's just me!
Halle Berry is an inspiration to us all, I wonder how Kylie Minogue feels though. I read she wanted to settle down and have a baby and Olivier wouldn't commit, now his current(older) partner is pregnant! I suppose it's not always straightforward even if you're a successful,mega rich celebrity.
CaliBee I'm sure you'll look lovely on your wedding day. I love that half up/half down style but can never replicate with my unruly hair!
I've been to Co Down once when I was a student ,at the 21st birthday party of the older brother of one of the lads in my class.A crowd of us travelled from Dublin but we didn't see much of the countryside, only the venue and a few pubs! I've spent time along the Antrim coast though and it's really beautiful,some breath taking scenery.
Can I ask (with your phamaceutical knowledge!) if you know anything about SSRI drugs causing problems with male fertility? DH suffers intermittently with depression and was on SSRIs for a year,he just came off them in the last few months. I've since read about possible links with DNA fragmentation and fertility problems or increased risk of miscarriage. I assumed it was my elderly eggs at fault but wonder now if there were more factors conspiring against us with all our losses. I suppose I'll never know.
Sparkly glad you had a good holiday and that MIL is supporting you too, hope things are going ok with DH.
Hello to everyone else!

Isabeller Tue 09-Apr-13 23:57:11

Irish my DP was concerned about SSRIs and stopped them because of treatment. He also started taking Selenium I think.

Irishmammybread Tue 09-Apr-13 23:58:39

Hi Isabeller crossed posts!
You've been though such a traumatic time over the last few months ,I'm sure it's taken it's toll,hopefully you can now relax a bit and look forward to your next,successful!! round of ivf.

Irishmammybread Wed 10-Apr-13 00:03:13

crossed posts again!
That's interesting that your DP stopped the SSRIs, did the doctors suggest it or did he research it himself?
Our GP prescribed the drug for DH before our first miscarriage but even though she knew we were trying again, and subsequently lost two more she never suggested stopping it.

Isabeller Wed 10-Apr-13 09:17:40

I will ask him when I get the chance, he does tend to research things a lot.

greenlizard Wed 10-Apr-13 16:43:15

Hi Ladies
I have not been able to get on the thread for a few days….what have I missed?!

Calibee your planned wedding hair sounds gorgeous – I have a head of massively curly hair like this THIS (the kind that looks very cute on young girls but not so on a professional woman) DP loves it even if I seem to spend my life trying to wrestle some control into it. As your DF is black when you have your little baby it will have super cute curly hair too! smile I missed your dress description – can you repeat it for me?

Isabeller glad you feel a bit better about the “Affair of the Suspicious lump” and more positive about the future. You have had a rough old time and so it’s only natural that you feel a bit emotionally wobbly - glad you are taking care of yourself. Losing weight most definitely is harder when you get older. The only thing that works for me is Weight Watchers because when I track everything I eat and the exercise I do helps me stay focussed other wise I just cheat! I lost 2 stone previously on WW but have put some back on so am back on the wagon again. How much weight are you looking to lose?

hopeful I applaud your well timed shagfest and would virtual high five you but am British therefore should congratulate you in a more decorus fashion. <claps politely>winkwink. Trust your golden egg is ready to make her grand entrance in style. Why can you not buy the sticks in Aus – do they not sell CBFM there?

sparkly really glad you had a great trip to Florida and that MIL is supportive. Even in DH is still behaving oddly, it must be a relief to have some support close to home with your DB and now MIL. How are you feeling? How far along are you now?

I am CD10 today and is the third day of getting highs on my CBFM. Last month I had 4 days of highs then two peaks and one high. Strangely though I did not appear to ovulate until one day after my peak reading and two days after a +ve OPK. This morning was a bit odd though as I had to take my temperature at 05:00 when I woke feeling very ill. Managed to take my temperature and pee in a pot before throwing up 3 times and going back to bed and I then slept until 13:00! This is the first day off work I have had ill in nearly 10 years – I felt horrible. Still feel a bit wobbly (like bambi on ice) but much better now – think must have just had a bug. Tested saved urine and got high/CBFM but started having twinges in my left ovary this afternoon and have just done an OPK and it’s positive. So will need to try and DTD tonight (obviously I feel very alluring and am still in my PJ') and tomorrow morning and again on Friday night as DP is away Thursday night and just hope we catch it. God it is so frustrating sometimes, I should be ovulating around Sunday which would have given us a good three day run up!

Humph!

greenlizard Wed 10-Apr-13 16:58:06

ps. Irishmammy I was thinking exactly the same thing about Kylie Minogue - I can't imagine how rubbish that would feel - a real kick in the teeth. I think I read somewhere that she had her eggs frozen before she had chemo for breast cancer so there is still hopefully a chance for her.

Irishmammybread Wed 10-Apr-13 19:11:00

Hope you're feeling better green, do you think it could be food poisoning with coming on so quickly? Hopefully it will go as quickly as it started so you can make the most of your time with DH before he has to go away. What day do you normally ovulate?

notsoold Wed 10-Apr-13 21:56:15

Hi girls....
I just wanted to say hi to all....

I am stressed really badly as I have the scan on Friday and will be 12 weeks. That was when I had the news about mmc last time and can not shake this dread that why would be different????
Sorry...it doesn't make sense and it is stupid ....

Irishmammybread Wed 10-Apr-13 22:47:52

notsoold it's understandable to feel worried,you're certainly not being stupid,(I know it's how I would feel too if I ever managed to get pregnant again), but there's every chance on Friday all will be well and you'll see that little heart beating away.
Just because you've had a mmc once doesn't mean it's going to happen again.You've already had a scan that showed everything was fine and progressing as it should be.
Your DH will be with you to hold your hand and we'll all be thinking of you.
What time is your appointment?
Have a big hug xxx

hopefulgum Wed 10-Apr-13 23:02:48

Only natural to feel that way notsoold. I would feel the same. If I ever get pregnant again I know I will be very wobbly around 9/10 weeks as that is when I miscarried previously. I had thought I would get some hypno-therapy to help with the anxiety. (((hugs))Do you have someone to go with you and hold your hand?

greenlizard, ohh, that sounds a bit yucky - perhaps your body wants to give you a trial run of what it feels like to have morning sicknessgrin though I don't think it would be that bad. It does sound a bit like food poisoning. I do hope you feel better for your own "shagfest".

I am amazed that DH and I are keeping it "up". I am now a bit anxious that he may not be able to perform again and again, and I just got a + opk last night and again this morning...Looks like you and I are in sync again smile We have two more nights of the 7 days, but I reckon I'll try and tack one on Saturday too. We shall see...

As for the clearblue sticks, I have no idea why, but you can't buy the fertility monitor in Australia,nor the sticks. Strange isn't it? Why on earth would no one sell it here?Perhaps there are restrictions. Anyway, I think I will order some from ebay just in case I need them. I do find using the monitor to be reassuring.

I read a small article in a magazine yesterday that suggested that being exposed to seminal fluid frequently (with lots of sex) contributes to successful pregnancies. It's quite amazing how many factors are involved in the miracle of making a baby. The research suggests it prepares the mother's body to accept her partner's sperm and stops her from seeing the fetus as a foreign body.

So, have sex more often folks, it could make a difference. I am sure that having lots of sex, rather than just well-timed sex makes a difference. Clearly, you'll have loads of sperm in waiting, but also there are other factors at play too.

Green, my hair is curly like that too, though because it is longer and heavier, it is more wavy. I have booked in for a cut and colour on Saturday. I always feel tempted to go short, but DH loves my long hair, so I think I'll keep it long for a bit longer. I love that salon fresh straight hair - looking forward to that.

Isabeller Wed 10-Apr-13 23:06:10

notsoold sorry to hear you're stressed, will be thinking of you on Friday.

Thanks for encouragement greenlizard I can't seem to shift anything (maybe 2lb at most in last month) so just some movement in the right direction would be nice! I don't think I'd ever get into the 'normal' weight bmi group but it would be really nice to be overweight instead of obese blush, a couple of stone off would do that.

Irishmammy I asked DP and he said he did his own research but quite a lot of it. He takes selenium and zinc and has avoided SSRIs too.

waving to everyone else smile

notsoold Thu 11-Apr-13 02:27:31

Thanks all!!!
Irish you are absolutely right and Dh keeps saying the same things...
It is just very difficult to rewire one's brain sad...my appointment is as 10.50am.

Hopeful...Dh is coming with me this time as it is going to be school holidays. We are going to the same hospital as last time ....

Isabeller thank you hun!!!

Really feel bad sharing here but can not share anywhere else as people say that don't be silly everything will be fine....and I hope it will, but I guess I just will have to await...

Hopeful I am amazed at the shagtron...you go girl!!! And there goes my record...smile ( gosh dh would kill me if he knew I told you lol)

Green...I also have very curly hair ( actually almost afro) but I have been doing the brazilian blow dry for the last 2 years and I am quite converted!!!

Isabeller ww helped me as well, almost as soon as I stopped going to the meetings the weight crept back...but you will get there!!!

Sparkly....<waving> good to see you back and glad you enjoyed your holidays

Cali I am loving reading about your your plans re wedding.... Please do tell more as I love reading about it....

<waving at everyone else> thanks for letting me share....

greenlizard Thu 11-Apr-13 08:01:48

Morning ladies

notsoold it's quite natural that you are feeling anxious about Friday - so don't be stressing about stressing!! It's good you have the scan so hopefully you can get the reassurance you need to relax a little. I can almost guarantee that if when I get pregnant I will be an absolute basket case, so I think you sound measured in your finger nail biting! Will keep everything crossed for you. Also had considered getting a Brazilian blow dry - how long does it last for?

As for hair, I have an hairdressers appointment tonight which I always find vaguely stressful given the number of really bad hair cuts over the years (one hairdresser told me that cutting curly hair was similar to trimming a hedge!! Not quite the pampering experience I was looking for...)

On matters TTC. I feel 200% better this morning - think it must have been something I ate. So I managed to get out of my pj's and into something a little more "come hither" last night, so we managed to DTD and again this morning. Last night, we ended up fooling around on the sofa like a couple of teenagers but then I didn't want to get up straight away afterwards so ended up watching the TV sideways with my legs up in the air. - so romantic!! wink(dsc were at their mums) and this morning after setting my alarm an hour early then trying to drink my tea in bed without sitting up - ha, this TTC is ridiculous!grin

So cd11 another +ve OPK and another high on CBFM (no peak yet) so not sure when I will ovulate - I usually ovulate around 13/14 but I have O as early as 12 and as late as 16. hopeful - it is so weird that I am matching cycles with a you all the way over world. Tickles me! Well done on the shagfest - sounds like you have it perfectly timed to have lots of sperm waiting....ooooh fingers crossed.

mozzarellamummy Thu 11-Apr-13 11:32:42

..gum no good news as AF came on monday..sad..
When AF arrives, the loss of my baby hurts more than usual.. This time some unsensible comments about what happened made things even worst, and the last two days where just as if I just had the termination: guilt, anger and sadness..tearful and sleepless.. Meanwhile I have a difficult situation at work because I could lose my current job which I wanted to carry on part-time..I'm now forced to apply for a full time post as teacher next year, while I thought I would start part-time.. I have no experience of teaching with teenagers; I don't have idea how far the school will be and I'm afraid these changes will add more stress on the TTC issue..
I just need some positive words and encouragement both about teaching and TTC .. thanks in advance thanks thanks

notsoold Thu 11-Apr-13 13:48:06

mozzarella...hun I am sorry for your sadness over the loss of your baby. I also used to be really saddened when AF would turn up, but certain dates were worse than others....it is normal all the feelings you have and some comments will hurt for a long time. I give you my hand and a hug from over here and I hope that the sun will shine on you again babe!!!

Greenlizard I loved the Brazilian blow dry and in the beginning the hair will start to curl after 3/4 months (depends on how often do you wash your hair and is shampoo have salt)...after a while the ends get straighter and straighter and now apart from the roots everything is quite,quite straight. It also means the curls shows more!!!

CaliBee Thu 11-Apr-13 17:58:05

Wowee...lots to catch up on.
First of all big hugs to notsold and mozarella sounds like you need them.
Good luck for the scan tomorrow notsoold we would all be there if we could to hold your hand.
mozarella I know how you feel...some days seem so damn bleak on this journey dont they? Keep strong sweety, and keep sharing your feelings x
lizard you lovely curly haired lady you....sorry to hear you have been poorly but it seems you're on the mend. You and I are on the same cd....however my out-of-tune body is not performing well. However dare I say I may have seen a little ewcm today.....get cheerleading my lovelies.
Well done in the shagfest gum...I envy you. Although I have to say the theory of lots of sex didnt work for me. Before DP went away it was rare not for us to be at it at least once daily. Awww I miss those days.

Well its been a pearler of a week at work. Basically our line manager has not only refused the leave I have booked in August (and the other ladies whom it clashed with) but has resorted to sending wordy emails quoting policies regarding duty of care and basically attempting to bully us into agreement with her. So, effectively I can get no leave in August and the week that I requested will now be fully staffed ....what a good job I have the trump card to play at a later date when I hand in my notice. I pray that a house is available and I am definately not still there come August. However, on the off chance that I am still there,I have had to fight my corner and have spoken to my union rep and also booked to see my Occupational Health department on Monday...the stress it has caused this last few weeks is vile.
Dp home for his (maybe) last weekend tomorrow until just before the wedding eek. Plans all seem to be in place though. The joys of keeping it as simple as possible I guess. I have decided against any flowers and am not having a cake so non of that to worry about.All I have to worry about is getting into that damn dress now grin...diet not going too well.

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