a safe sanctuary for larger ladies who are ttc!

(89 Posts)
acsr1987 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:03:25

im starting a new thread for ladies who dont want to be judged about being a chubster, and to know the hurt it feels to be told your too fat to get pregnant, yet see heffers bigger than u with their babies. to be comfort eating because yet again your af has come. to try really hard to shift the buldge but only get a few pounds off.
im here for you ladies....
no skinny minnies or put downs please or we will squash u with our big fat arses!!!!

Lostonthemoors Mon 04-Feb-13 14:03:03

Cali my mum's bf was a trauma nurse bullies by colleagues for being overweight sad

There are some horrible parents out there, sadly, who neglect their children. What every child needs and deserves is a loving mother, whatever her weight, age etc etc

fieldfare Mon 04-Feb-13 14:05:31

Hello all, now the topic has resumed normality. smile

I'm having a bit of a wobble ove the whole ttc thing ATM. We don't qualify for any funding, dd is 11 this year and I'm just not sure how I feel about all of it anymore. It's a very double edged sword for me right now.
I'm the same weight now as when I had dd, try consistently to eat well, cook pretty much everything from scratch and get a lot of exercise. Nothing makes any difference.

GoSuckEggs Mon 04-Feb-13 14:38:52

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

CaliBee Mon 04-Feb-13 17:48:38

Hehe to gosuckeggs..you tellem girl.
isabeller hope you feel a bit better now hun....always here if you need to chat. Just think what could be going on inside you right now...wow.
fieldfare I have come to the conclusion that some of us just have to do a lot more than is practically possible to keep the weight off. I am so sure now that the secret to weight control really is healthy eating and more exercise. However the heavier we get, the more we have to do, and the older we get ...the harder it is. Its a vicious circle. I have a friend whose diet is consistently worse than mine (except when I have been on the chocolate and maccies binge that I have been on post mc) she exercises less and generally has an unhealthy lifestyle. She weighs about 10 stone and only ever budges about 5lbs either side of that mark. Her Mum and sister are the same. My mum, sister and me all have the same athletic figures...heavy muscly thighs and a decent sized bottom (luckily my dp loves my bum). If I weighed the amount that fits into the "healthy" range for my height I would look very odd. I would have a gaunt, hollow eyed look, no tits and a massive bottom lol. I think we all have a responsibility to ourselves to be healthy and functional but need to be happy with ourselves ultimately. I'm getting there slowly but would be happier to wear size 14 jeans grin

acsr1987 Mon 04-Feb-13 18:09:25

oh dear it happened again!
i feel like i have ballooned since my mc at the end of october, i just didnt want to get out of bed and just ate like a pig because i felt so shit.
but i am in the catagory of obease and i have a 16 month old and i work part time in an active job. i dont smoke i dont drink, i take ds to two toddler groups a week, we go to the park (when the weathers not shit) we go to soft play and i run after him everywhere, i bf for 12 and a half months... 5 of them exclusivly, he is such an active little boy and i dont want him to miss out on anything... and he dosnt... all the while im "obese" im just hoping and praying the next baby i make (FINGERS CROSSED) is just as wild as this one!

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 04-Feb-13 18:19:18

Just popping my head round the door of the thread with a handy link to our talk guidelines

JaquelineHyde Mon 04-Feb-13 18:45:41

Thanks Olivia, trust me I reigned myself in massively because I knew you would probably be popping up with a quick guideline reminder grin

acsr dealing with an mc is hard please do not feel that you need to justify yourself to us or anyone else on this thread. You sound wonderful and very busy smile Your ds is a lucky little boy to have a Mummy like you and don't let anyone elses misguided, nasty, spiteful opinion's make you feel otherwise.

CaliBee Mon 04-Feb-13 18:58:35

acsr...I know that feeling and sorry to hear of your mc. I guess I'm lucky that I work fulltime...its the only thing that brings to a halt the comfort eating that happened over the last couple of weeks. Sometimes it takes another lifestyle change to break the habits we become locked into.

acsr1987 Mon 04-Feb-13 20:46:18

thanks girls! im thinking when i get my BFN this month im gunna do a strict diet again, ive only just got my life back on track these past few weeks, i was off work for 3 months as had a very bad bleed and had to hav a few transfusions on top of feeling absolutly heartbroken. but now im getting out the house im feeling a lot better than i was a month ago. i still dont think this next baby will ever happen, im trying to stay positive but i just think im too fat to get pregnant again. my cycles are shit to judge and im still gettin pains from mc. also i bought loads of ovulation sticks and everytime i do one they are positive... what the hell is all that about?!?!? grrr so frustrated... which dosnt help me shoveling the galaxy bars into my pie hole!

GoSuckEggs Mon 04-Feb-13 21:19:53

Sorry Olivia!!! blush

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:01:52

bump!

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:06:32

Channel 4 Supersize versus super skinny - effects on babies and mothers as a result if being obese. Watch it and maybe some of you may take things a little more seriously.

CaliBee Tue 05-Feb-13 20:13:41

scottydoc do you have children?

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:15:36

Yes I do

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:16:47

http://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/pregnancy-conceive/
maybe you should read that, that may explain why ladies comfort eat and get fatter and how negative comments can make them feel even more shit. everyone on this thread is well aware of the health implications u have stated but these ladies are also trying to lose weight aswell as achive a natural desire to become a mother. why dont you cut them some slack its not your life or your baby. its their choice they just want abit of support and wether u agree with it or not its the situation we are all in on this thread so please if u dont have anything nice to say can u just not? because there is a reason for everything and we all need some kind words when going through some shitty things

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:24:30

Sometimes OP, tough love is also kindness. Too much pussyfooting around and making constant excuses has never once solved any problem. You think I don't comfort eat? You think I'm not a good few pounds, even a stone overweight? It's normal in people, male and female from all walks of life.

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:26:39

yeah and my baby died last year, ive put on weight because ive ate my fucking feelings... because my baby died.... i want to get pregnant again ... if im fat i dont care... if i cost the nhs thousands... i dont care... all i want is a baby, look u are not being kind u are being a bossy boots and to be fair all these fat girls on here are just going to ignore u anyway so i wouldnt waste ur time

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:34:28

I've lost a baby too OP and so have many, many others here. At some point you have to take responsibility and face the grief, and get whatever help you need. That could be counselling or good therapy, which I highly recommend. I don't think, from how you speak on here, that you have dealt completely with everything you have been through. You say you don't care how much you cost the NHS, or how you are TTC whilst being obese, and with all respect that is not right, however you feel. Wouldn't you like to start TTC at a healthy weight and feeling much better about yourself? Everyone is capable of it, including you.

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:38:26

obviously you know what is best for me, even tho my gp thinks it is the right thing for me to do, but obviously you know best.. thanks for that

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:41:50

How do you not know I am a GP myself? And I don't condone a professional advocating someone such as you in a vulnerable emotional state to conceive. PND risks as well as general physical difficulties would be the main reasons. What is it that I say that you find so hard to hear?

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:44:38

i dont care if u are a gp, your not MY gp, and at the end of the day i think you are just saying things to get a rise out of me and others so from now on ill be ignoring you

CaliBee Tue 05-Feb-13 20:48:15

acsr I just dont think scotty has too much capacity to think beyond the box they find themselves trapped within. Dont worry.
Let us get back to being supportive of each other...weather that being in our efforts to eat healthily and exercise more or in supporting each other through the losses we have endured. Being overweight indeed may cause problems with conception ...however it has never (as far as I know) been proven to cause miscarriage (unlike smoking and alcohol). Infact I think that would be a very difficult statistic to justify.

CaliBee Tue 05-Feb-13 20:49:50

scotty is NO gp believe me. No GP would speak so out of term and in such an unproffesional manner. That I know!!!

acsr1987 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:50:59

thanks cali, im going on slimfast diet as of tomorro, i had a shit day at work today everyone going on about pregnancy and babies, im going to throw everything into losing weight and humping like a rabbit lol

ScottyDoc Tue 05-Feb-13 20:56:25

It's unreal how defensive some of you are and it's pretty hurtful actually. Unless you have a real resolve to do something about your weight and give your baby the best possible start in life by being healthy, you will continue to be your worst enemies. You see anyone who dares give you some well meaning advice as a threat and that's very sad. Support each other by all means but don't kid yourselves that things will automatically be successful or how you expect. Good night and good luck.

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