Snowdrop: I remember wishing I could fast forward my life 6 months so the pain wouldn't be as bad. I longed for the day I wouldn't wake up each day and relive the events of that awful day. The doctors face the day we went to the hospital will be engraved in my mind forever. He didn't have to say it......... It does get easier though and during those early dark days I never thought it would. Time definitely helps. Another mistake I made was cutting myself off from my 2 best friends. I just felt like they didn't understand how much I was suffering and I resented that and just hid myself away. I would make constant excuses not to do anything.......life was marching on but my world had fell apart the day my baby boy died. It was only when one of them came round and started to cry I realised how much they were missing me and things are a lot better.
Time is a great healer, I hope my little stories are helping, if not.....feel free to tell me to shut up!!!!
Ok gonna hit the shops for bread and milk while everyone in the Babyh household is still asleep.
Thinking of all the growing rainbows. Also thinking of the mums who are holding their rainbow babies at last xxxxxx
Angel, Little and Blizy big hugs to you xxxx
Hope the day is kind.
Thinking of us all and apologies to anyone I've missed xxxxxx
Love to everyone for tomorrow, I'll be thinking about us all and our children. You are all such amazing Mothers, and amazing friends too. Last Mothers day we chose Merryns name, and went on a boat trip to watch dolphins, she wriggles inside, this year she is in my heart instead. Xx
Also wanting to wish everyone SO much love on this Mother's Day. Each and every mummy on this thread has demonstrated to me the true strength of motherhood - you're all amazing. Thinking of all our wonderful children today. And, as ever, so glad to be a mummy to the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. She is my inspiration. Love you, little poppet Xxx
Hello everyone! I'm sorry I'm so crap at keeping up these days. I've scanned the thread and can't remember enough details, but Fan, special lady, big hugs from me! So pleased for you and praying so hard.
I just wanted to come back on here today - tomorrow will be 2 years since Thea died. Wednesday will be her second birthday. My little love, my first baby. She was so perfect and so special. My little star-baby.
blue I'm ok, 7 weeks wednesday. I'm getting there one day at a time. I have moments of utter craziness where it doesn't feel real or that it will stick and others where I think of the future and my second baby. God that feels so strange to say, second baby.
Too: Ah nice to hear from you. I will be thinking of Thea tomorrow x
Also hugs to Fan and Blue.......sorry its been almost 2 long years since you held your babies.
Hope everyone managed to get through Mothers Day ok I was thinking of you all.
My Sil was round yesterday and she is due in a few weeks. She announced that she has bought the exact same pram I bought for my beautiful boy, same colour and everything......complete with the Maxi Cosi car seat. It wasn't a mistake because I know she knew I had it........ I had a good old cry about it today.......of all the pushchairs available why pick mine!! I can remember her admiring it when I bought it so even if she had sent a polite text asking was it alright I think I might have took it a bit better............
Too sending all my love. How wonderful it would be if Thea was with you... I hope you and DH pass through these days as easily as possible, and I'm sure you have planned some wonderful ways to celebrate and remember. Thinking of you, and of her xx
babyh Oh love. What a thoughtless, thoughtless woman. And I can't really quite believe she's chatting to you about which pram she's chosen, let alone that she chose exactly the same one. I presume this is your 'nasty' SIL as opposed to your nice one? Really sorry you had to go through that, and will have to see her with the pram in the future... Huuuuge hugs. How are your grandad and MIL? Any news on progress with A's headstone?
fan big waves at you - I did a massive when I read your phrase 'my second baby'. I can't tell you how much I hope that this is it, baby number two on the way xx
wtw how are you doing lovely, you must feel so so busy and tired being back at work - plus I saw on FB you'd been so poorly - argh! Feeling any better now?
snowdrop I think you said you were going on holiday this week for your birthday. I won't wish you a 'happy' birthday, but I hope you are glad to go away, and that you and DH can use the time to draw closer to each other and to remember your lovely daughter xx
AFM I start my IVF cycle tomorrow. Had a scan today, and my consultant walked past and said hello while I was in the waiting room. I got home to find he'd emailed me, saying he hadn't wanted to stop and chat while others were there, but he hoped I was ok, and that he'd checked with my nurses and was glad things were starting. Little things mean a lot, don't they! I've been a whimpering mess talking about E with the nurses, which is both nice, and important... they have all been so sad for us, and seem to have understood that I'll need kid-glove-handling during this process - however many times we may need to do it. Everyone really seems to be doing their best to help us so far, so I'm pleased about that.
Much love to everyone else too - esp thinking of angel and little today xxx
TOO... Two years is far too long. Thinking of you all today.
KLEINE... I'm glad that you are being looked after by kind people, it does make a huge diference. I'm glad your Ivf is beginning, but it must be so difficult for you to be so consumed by the process. I hope you can catch the first cycle and don't have to go through it again (unless you choose to).
11 months today we met Merryn, and next month will be her birthday. I can't in any way believe its been almost a year. She'd be so big, and so strong by now...
whatever hope you are all better soon!! also poorly with a heavy cold, although it was MrMia and lovely friends who did a half marathon for Mia's Wood on the weekend - I was just cheer squad. They raised over £3000! (and the pressure is now on for the ladies to perform equally well...)
Finn isn't going to sleep tonight. 3rd feed since 6pm. He has developed a really cross scream when he isn't picked up or cuddled fast enough. Hmm. I don't want to encourage it, but he is very loud and persistent if I ignore him!
razz congratulations!! What a wonderful surprise. <makes mental note to try the coil as a method of conceiving, if the IVF doesn't work out > And so lovely that you and fan have such similarly-timed pregnancies! Now you can spend the next seven-ish months freaking out together before you meet your little ones
green sending you and Merryn lots of love. Unbelievable, that's it's almost a year. Really, just unbelievable. Time plays some very funny tricks these days. How are you doing - and I hope the nightmares are receding? It can't be too long now until your next scan. I think of you often xx
too still thinking of you and Thea, as well xx
mias I hope Finn eventually went to sleep the other night! He really does sound like he is developing quite a character - that's so wonderful. And judging by the screaming as you describe it, perhaps he's going to be as loud and proud as his big sister
And just wanted to say, elly, also thinking of you - just a few little weeks to go... Hang on in there...
Hi, I wondered if I could join? My first baby was stillborn at the beginning of September last year, can't actually believe it has been 6 mths already, my emotions are still pretty much up and down on a daily basis (and when I say up I'm sure all you ladies understand that I really mean less bad). Husband and I are currently ttc, which is difficult. We both desperately want a baby, but dtd can be trickywhen you don't really feel like it. It is nice to read the posts of other ladies who are now pg again, congratulations razz and fan, I really hope the next 7mths pass quickly for you. X
Hello again everyone! Lots of new people and old ones too, I've come back to MN after a long break, missed you all. Ella is now 13 months, can't quite believe that. Disabled my profile for a while as I've just found out that I'm pregnant again! Bit of a shock as I had en early scan yesterday after having pain and they saw 2 sacs!
Only about 5 weeks so anything could happen, as we all know, but bloods came back at 4700 hcg. I'm going for another blood test in the morning to make sure they've doubled at least and then back for another scan in 2 weeks. Certainly quite a surprise.
Thank you cheese, congratulations on your news, something magical about twins. Im sorry about the loss of Scarlett, but what a beautiful name. I'm sure whatever you choose for a headstone will be right for you and Scarlett but I totally understand the feeling that it needs to be perfect xx
Welcome to LITTLESTAR...I'm sorry you need to find us, but glad that you have. If you like, we'd love to know more about your baby? (but only if you want to). Six months is still very early on, and I agree ttc can be a strain. I hope it happens quickly for you both. I have two boys already, aged 10 and 5, and had my little girl, Merryn, in April last year. She survived for six days, but in the end the tumour she was born with won the fight, and we had to say goodbye. I miss her terribly. I am lucky enough to be 16 weeks with my fourth child. I've also had three MCs, so it's still early days! These ladies have got me to this point, I'm not sure where I'd be without them!
CHEESE!! Congrats! Twins, that's really amazing! (I know it's really really early too, and I will simmer down now, but it IS amazing, isn't it)?!
KLEINE, how are you lovely lady? Have the hormones gone crazy yet? One day at a time.... (But I wish it could skip forward and you didn't have to go through this bit).
Sorry not to say hi to everyone, we are mid crisis. My mum has just been taken to hospital in an ambulance, with a possible spinal fracture. I'm on here to calm myself for a bit so I can be 'normal' for the boys. It's been a crazy crazy day. I also had the 16 wk MW appt, which was hard anyway, and then she couldn't find the HB, and she kept wanting to stop, and I was crying and begging her to keep trying... Which thank god she did and found it, but I really thought the worst. oh well, hopefully mum will have only pulled a muscle or something. I don't know what happens if it's serious, best not think about that right now! DPs racing back from London. (he's always racing to and from london it seems). My little boy is convinced she will die. But she won't, so although horrible, it's good for him to learn people usually don't die in hospital. I'm going to go and feed them cake and curl up in front of the tv with them.... Sorry for the ramble!