TTC and a teacher?! Join me!

(286 Posts)
HopefulFairy Wed 16-Jan-13 20:58:35

Good morning (evening) Miss/Mrs MummyToBe!

I don't know about you, but I'm finding it hard to balance teaching+TTC. Too tired to DTD as often as I think I probably should be+so overwhelmed with the job that I'm filled with lots of negative thoughts+feelings all the time sad

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to be less stressed if I want to conceive but find that an impossibility.....unless I resign!!

Any other teachers out there feel like this?

bugoven Wed 16-Jan-13 21:24:54

Hi hopeful. I'm not a teacher but I work in a very challenging role in a very challenging school with very challenging pupils.
I was working in a kids' home before and made the move to a school to increase my chances of destressing and conceiving. Pretty sure my body is working harder and more stressed than ever so don't feel I could get preggers. We do manage dtd regularly but no luck in the last 14 cycles.
Good luck.

Thatssofunny Wed 16-Jan-13 21:55:02

Fairy, ...I've got the same problem. My DP is also a teacher, so we are both continually tired. I work approximately 70 hours a week during term time, slightly less during holidays...although I'm getting better. Not helpful, though.
The thing I am currently most pissed about is the fact that I have been so good all month, getting ready for ov and thinking "yeah, we gonna make it this month". And then,... Ofsted call the day I get my smiley face on the darn stick and DP has a meltdown, because he's so stressed at work. (He's stressed? We are the ones being inspected...). Of the two days they could have chosen, it had to be these ones. So instead of dtd, I was marking books and going through my planning to make sure it's idiot-proof. I don't think there are many more people out there, who'd give their work precedence...especially after a year of trying. However, we have worked so, so, so hard all this time and I refuse to have any inspector tell me that I'm not doing a good enough job. We are a good school. End of.

Postponed until next month. I'm likely to ov during half term, so there's hope. smile Do you generally ov during the week?

HopefulFairy Wed 16-Jan-13 22:29:47

Bugoven - Sorry to hear the change in job hasn't helped to alleviate the stress. Working in a school in any role can be stressful but even more so when it's such a challenging one. Being a teacher means that my day never ends but can imagine in a challenging school you always bring the day home with you emotionally+physically, whatever you do. I hope this year brings you the elusive BFP xXx

Thatsso - How do those sneaky b*****ds manage to always pick the worst time to come?! Last time we had them, I was playing one of the leads in the school show+they came on the 2 days of our evening performances!! That's a week I'll not forget in a hurry. We're expecting them again soon.....mind you, have been under the big O threat for over a year so won't hold my breath.

I haven't been using OPKs so relying on natural symptoms to judge Ov. Prob not as reliable as it could be but fairly new on the ol' TTC journey so not familiar with all the tricks+processes yet. Do you find it helps? I do usually Ov in the week. Usually DH is waiting to DTD so I take a break in my marking to fit it in, then pick up the books again! Hardly the romantic, passionate conception I imagined! But at this point, any conception would do! smile

Bearface Wed 16-Jan-13 23:22:20

I'm in. I'm a teacher, but got to go to beddy byes now, so will introduce myself properly tomorrow. I feel your pain, ladies. There aren't enough hours in the day. And I did resign partly in order to get upduffed, but no luck yet. No upduffing or more reasonable job! Eeek!

HopefulFairy Wed 16-Jan-13 23:47:18

Welcome Bear, pleased you've joined us. The only reason I'm still up is bloody marking!!

LittleLark Thu 17-Jan-13 17:49:26

This must be some kind of a sign!
I have logged on to the conception board for the first time in about a year as I just needed to ignore it for a while.

But today I thought: I am going to start a new thread myself about ttc and being a teacher - and here it is!

Been ttc for nearly 3 years (man, that's depressing written down!) and am about to start taking Clomid again for the first time in about 6 months.

I can feel the cramping of an AF arrival, so clomid ttc will commence again in earnest this month <determined>

But I am exhhhhhhaaaaaaauusssssssted as work is crazy at the minute. I absolutely adore it, and if truth be told, I have taken refuge in it wrt to whole ttc business.

The problem is that I never really recognised how much emotional energy teaching takes until the ttc thing started to struggle. I teach secondary as well, and have some rather 'challenging' classes, shall we say...? Love them dearly, but it takes me to be 'on' all of the time, as well as happy and chirpy and calm and in control. Exactly the opposite of Clomid side effects....

Sorry, this is a bloody essay now! (and my pile of essays for tomorrow remain unmarked...) So: thank-you for starting the thread, and an introductory wine to all!

AmelieRose Thu 17-Jan-13 18:08:16

I'm in. I'm a secondary school teacher and am currently signed off work after a miscarriage and ERPC and feeling horrendously guilty about leaving my classes.

I was feeling very smug after getting my BFP in November, which meant baby due in August (in Scotland so means could have rested over summer hols and started mat leave as school went back). Look where that got me!

Feeling much, much better today though after a really really crap week last week so hoping we'll be back to TTC soon!

doobeedee Thu 17-Jan-13 18:09:55

Hello everyone. I'm a teacher too. Been trying for 18 months and just took first round of Clomid. I don ovulate but have a short luteal phase (9 days usually) so it's to try and lengthen that. I find the worst thing about TTC as a teacher is trying to get fit in appointments without being obvious and everyone knowing your business!

HopefulFairy Thu 17-Jan-13 18:42:58

Great minds must think alike Lark! I just feel that teaching adds yet another pressure to what is an already stressful+trying time! I got married in August so spent all of last year trying to juggle wedding planning with teaching so guess I should be used to it! Sorry to hear you've been trying for so long. It's only been a few months for us but can't help worrying that I'm gonna struggle. I'm actually desperate to leave teaching. I love working with the kids but the job isn't really what I thought it would be+I don't cope very well with the stress+pressure. Thing is, I feel trapped because cant afford to turn down the maternity pay sad so gotta stay till I'm upduffed.

Amelie, I'm so sorry about what's happened hun. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. We spend so long obsessing about the actual conception bit that I sometimes forget the world of worry+uncertainty beyond that. I really hope that things start to look up for you.

Totally agree Doobeddee. Was recently the subject of a pregnancy rumour. Found it quite funny at first as wasn't aware I was being watched so closely, but then just made me a little upset that I couldn't confirm their suspicions. Also made me really weary of what I say in the staff room. Felt sick yesterday (not pregnancy related sad) but couldn't say anything in case everyone jumped to conclusions!!

Really pleased to have you all on board with me smile and here's to BFPs for us all wine

AmelieRose Thu 17-Jan-13 18:50:06

Thanks HopefulFairy - I think you have to be pragmatic about it all, and keep optimistic. It's good to be aware of things that can happen but shouldn't let it take over. That's what I'm trying to do - keep positive and hope it works!

I know what you mean about pregnancy rumours too - I work in a Catholic school and the assumption is as soon as you're married you'll be up the duff ASAP! I've been married for 9 months now so the subject of much speculation - even from some pupils!

Boodle9 Thu 17-Jan-13 18:51:21

Hello! I'm a teacher too. Very similar to doobeedee actually - am just starting out on cycle 18 and I also have a short luteal phase of 9 days, with spotting at 7 and 8 DPO. Appointments are a real tricky one - I had a hospital appointment today and was out of school from 11am for the rest of the day. Had to request that my cover arrangements weren't written up on the staff room board for everyone to see as it always leads to questions.

I'm always getting pregnancy rumours sparked about me as I suffer from severe menstrual pain, which often causes vomiting. Getting fed up of people saying "Ooooh, are you pregnant?" and having to answer "No, the EXACT opposite."

Good luck to everyone in the quest for a BFP. To be honest, I'm not expecting one any time soon - just got to jump through the rest of the infertility testing hoops.

Can I join? I'm in secondary and am convinced there should be a case study into teachers and conception rates!!

BeQuicksieorBeDead Thu 17-Jan-13 19:04:47

Hi Hopeful and everyone, I too am a teacher ttc..... We on proper cycle 4 of trying after a mmc at twelve weeks in april . My cycles have gone weird since the miscarriage and being a teacher doesn't always lend itself to midweek passion asd many of you point out! I have moved from key stage two to early years this academic year and I am exhausted (but happy!)

Good luck ladies, fingers crossed for February and well timed autumn term babies!

qumquat Thu 17-Jan-13 19:34:08

Thank you for starting this thread! I haven't officially started TTC yet but I know from experience I just don't have the energy to dtd much during term time. I worry there's no way I'm going to be able to have sex enough/at the right time to get pregnant.

happylass Australia Thu 17-Jan-13 19:50:43

Ooh hello. Room for one more?? I teach secondary and have been TTC for 5 months. Totally understand the too tired to DTD situation. Fortunately am 7dpo so having a bit of a rest at the moment. Keeping everything crossed for a snow day tomorrow!

Gooseysgirl Thu 17-Jan-13 19:52:10

Hello all, another teacher TTC here! Don't give up hope if you have a short luteal phase... my supposed short luteal phase is now 10 mths old and sleeping peacefully upstairs with her cuddly mouse smile Was v surprised to conceive her when I did as there were redundancies happening where I work and things were v stressful, and am also in my late 30s. Would have liked a bigger gap but due to my age we've decided to start TTC again. Held out til Jan as didn't want to have a summer born baby. Also would love to change jobs but there's a great maternity deal where I work so I'm hanging on on there... Here's hoping for BFPs for everyone in the coming months!

Bearface Thu 17-Jan-13 20:16:22

Hi there everyone,

I said I'd be back. I'm a secondary teacher and gave up a job in a very good school because I was so tired of being in a vicious circle of being ill and stressed. I really enjoyed my job, but for me it became all-consuming and I was sick of having to mark at weekends and live my life on the hoof, too tired to have fun with DH and feeling guilty when I didn't do work. I was really worried about my stress levels and how this was affecting my chances of TTC. I gave up my job and haven't yet managed to get a BFP, but I am sooooooo much less stressed. You only realise when you step back from it how much of a toll it takes on you.

I was the subject of lots of staffroom rumours about that kind of thing, but I found out eventually that most of them originated with the Head! angry

I have vowed that if I ever go back, then I will only see it as a job, not a vocation. I will not be guilted into taking on extra work for promotion/as part of an initiative/out of the goodness of my heart/because I feel sorry for the kids/because I feel I owe it to the world, etc. I know lots of people thrive on that kind of thing, but I feel that it's such a demanding job anyway and you have so little time to do anything that you shouldn't have to take on extra just to seem as though you are the perfect teacher. I think it should be good enough that you are an excellent classroom teacher and that you are teaching kids properly.

Hmph. I'm sorry I'm ranting, but it annoys me so much when I see so many teachers who are intelligent, well qualified and work very hard either succumbing to illness or having to sacrifice their personal life or having to sacrifice promotion because their workload is unreasonable. hmm

I think that somehow you just have to prioritise yourself if you can, because no one else will do it. I really feel for all you guys saying how you're too tired to DTD or you have to fit in DTD between marking. It shouldn't be that way. I think you should fit the marking in around DTD! grin

Sorry I don't have any answers, but sending you all my thoughts and renewed energy to enable you to DTD! Sorry for the long post!

Thatssofunny Thu 17-Jan-13 20:23:44

Fairy We had been waiting for the inspection for ages, too. I'm so tired, I can't even be bothered to drag myself up to bed, let alone dtd. DP might have to carry me upstairs. Also makes me terribly emotional and I burst into tears during feedback. blush There wasn't really a reason. He was being nice and told me that I was a good teacher and taught a good lesson. I'm just blessed with a very challenging class, which was apparently quite obvious. Nothing I hadn't known. They can be a real nightmare...although they can also be so lovely.
I used the sticks for the first time this month, and turns out I ovulate later than I though I did - on day 18. I've generally got quite a bit of discharge, so it can be a bit confusing. My cycles also vary from 26-33 days, depending on how stressed I am. grin

Lark Sorry to hear it's been such a long time for you. How do you keep going for such a long time? Can relate to the "challenging" class issue, although mine are younger.

It doesn't help that loads of people around me announce that they are pregnant...and they are teachers, too, so there must be a way. (Perhaps it's because most of them are part-timers?)

pinkmoonlight Thu 17-Jan-13 21:44:19

Hello, can I join please?! I'm a primary teacher and my resolution is not to work past 7pm in the week, 5pm on a Sunday for ANY REASON AT ALL (except, maybe Ofsted!) in an attempt to reduce my stress levels as I think that will be my downfall when TTC sad We're on cycle 3 but I have had a short luteal phase for my last 2 cycles (came off pill in November) so now that's stressing me out too. Arrghh! I too have been subject to pregnancy rumours as I've been married for 2 and half years.

Fingers crossed for lots of Teacher BFPS! smile

doobeedee Thu 17-Jan-13 22:07:29

I don't think there are rumours about me but I do get asked all the time which is annoying. People are do insensitive. I've only had one appointment in school time but as I never have days off I was worried that would cause done suspicion. I'm lucky that I managed to get two hospital appointments in The Christmas and half term hols. I've also had two chemical pregnancies which luckily also fell in the hols. Oh and we are also due an Ofsted.

doobeedee Thu 17-Jan-13 22:08:59

Grr stupid auto correct!

Gooseysgirl Fri 18-Jan-13 06:43:54

Well said Bear Face... I do sometimes wonder if life would be a lot easier if I took a job on the checkouts in a supermarket! I envy my husband who complains his job is boring but he is able to go in, do his job 9-5 and then come home again... no marking, observations, stressing etc. But I have to say once you do have a baby your priorities change and although I still work my backside off I never allow it to encroach on my time with DD at the weekends. I have also learned to say no!!

happylass Australia Fri 18-Jan-13 08:54:20

Snow day for me today! Days like this I love my job grin

Gooseysgirl Fri 18-Jan-13 11:00:08

We are open but snow coming down so will be going home early smile

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