TTC 4 years, unexplained, nearly 40, need advice

(6 Posts)
picklepanshine Thu 10-Jan-13 12:27:11

Hi, as the subject says my clock is ticking. Brief history, we have been TTC for 4 years, had initial investigations 2 years ago, SA, bloods which showed normal. We were referred to specialist in another area as our PCT did not fund any infertility investigations/treatment at that time, however, they informed us that as DH has a DS from his first marriage we were not eligible for NHS funded treatment. We were sent away with a private prescription for Clomid and asked to come back for a scan and a cheque for £250 each month. The following month we had some serious financial issues and we delayed getting the prescription and starting the Clomid, then the month after and the month after that... to cut a long story short, the Consultant moved on to private practice, and we just decided to carry on trying naturally, get married and hopefully it would happen. 2 years on, and I've just found out that my Trust will now fund IVF for eligible couple and I am going to go and see my GP again to see if there are further tests etc. I don't want to get past 40 and think "if only we had done this, or tried this, or made that appt". I have asked for the NICE guidelines and Trust guidelines and will take them to my GP appt, but she is not very sympathetic and I feel I am going to be fobbed off by her.

There must be something wrong with me, I've had no internal scans and when I have a smear the nurse always comments saying I have tilted uterus or inverted?

Also, is it common practice for the Trust to check that we have children already? My DH has a child who we love dearly, but I want a baby. I want to be a mother, I want my husbands child.

I know that no amount of treatment is a guarantee, but at the moment I feel like there is no hope and at least if I push for something more then that gives us a slightly better chance?

I know I said brief, sorry, I got carried away, but I just wanted your thoughts on what to say to my GP, how to find out further information, who makes decisions about eligibility, is it worth not mentioning DH has a child, what other tests should I be asking for and if you think the fact that we had a chance 2 years ago and didn't follow it up will go against us?

Thanks for taking the time to read this

picklepanshine Fri 11-Jan-13 10:11:03

anyone?

I have appt to see GP next week to talk this through.

I've always managed to plod along with the hope that it will hapen one day, but I think the big 40 looming has sent me into a spiral of panic, anxiety and despair, followed by the usual timing of pregnancy announcements, both at work and in the family. sad sad

Irishmammybread Fri 11-Jan-13 10:33:38

Hi pickle ,sorry I don't really have any answers to your questions but didn't want to read and run!
It is very difficult when you are ttc and people around you are getting pregnant and having babies easily.
I would think your appointment with your GP is a good starting point.
You might want to come on the fantastic forty plus thread( since you are nearly 40!) where lots of us have struggled with pregnancy loss and/or infertility issues,there's lots of advice ,support and empathy.
Good luck!

greenlizard Fri 11-Jan-13 18:53:41

Hi Pickle

Sorry you are having such a stressful time of it. Definitely go to see a GP...I say a GP because if yours is unsympathetic you should switch to another! I was dreading going to my GP as I am 43 and TTC my first. - she was lovely though and very supportive (but was brutally honest about my chances!). Agree with IrishMammy about the over 40 thread. - they are all lovely (and knowledgable) Think there is also one for over 30's too somewhere...one thing is sure you are not alone. I would say though that my DP has two children from his previous marriage and my Dr said he must also be tested as anything can happen in terms of fertility over the years.

Good luck. X

pickle any good doctor will not hold your past choices against you but just see what can be done to help you now. They should not make judgments just on your age alone- if they try to discourage you from IVF because you are 39 don't let them!

Also I have read that if you are ovulating normally then clomid is of little use and can even decrease chance of conceiving because it reduces your good cervical fluid. So the fact you didn't take it may not have made a difference.

Whether you tell them about DH's DS is up to you but I imagine at some point DH will have to sign a form saying he has no previous children which he might find difficult to do and you don't want added stress.

Good luck - there are a lot of us on the 2013 "egg buddies" thread as well.

Glimmerberry Sun 13-Jan-13 11:44:01

Have you been charting your cycle? I'm having some issues too at the moment and having read Toni Weschler's book (Taking Charge of your Fertility) I'm planning to chart and try to understand what's going on myself while waiting for an appt.

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