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im new to this site so please bare with me and I hope im accepted as a new member.
I currently have a 3 and a half year old son (4 in april). i seperated from his dad just before his 1st birthday but have a brilliant relationship with him and its all great and he sees our son regularly etc. I have been with my current partner just coming up to 2 years and I couldnt be happier or more in love and he is an amazing 2nd dad to my son.
I really want to start ttc for baby number 2 with my partner. however, i think we have a few hurdles and i am not sure if there is ever a perfect time to ttc (my son was a lovely suprise). I am 26 in a couple of months, and my partner is just turning 38 (even though he doesnt behave his age lol). But i am currently at uni and i graduate in may. I am working as well part time in a job i love and is related to my degree, but due to it being a 0 hour contract (works well round uni and oliver) I can work as much or as little as i want, but i am not entitled to statutory maternity pay, just the jobcentre maternity allowance. My partner owns his own building / plastering business which in relation to the economy is doing ok, plus he is a retained firefighter.
really sorry this is long please bare with me
However, he is due to be made redundant from the fire service in the next 2 - 3 years. and the loss of that part time income will be huge. This is what is making me think if we have a baby while he is still in the fireservice that wage will help cover mortgage etc when i am on maternity leave.
the other reasons i want a baby are that i dont want a huuuge age gap between oliver and a baby, i feel ready physically and couldnt be happier. its just the whole being at uni still and having 5 months left, money, what will people think and the fact i wont be entitled to maternity pay just the allowance.
the other thing is that i am currently having tests for cysts on my ovaries and possible hydrosalpinx which could effect fertility so i was thinking if i start trying now i probably wouldnt fall on straight away?
what would u do? do u think i should go for it or wait till ive finished uni and sorted my hospital tests and started a job with maternity pay? all of this could take up to a year?
thanku so much in advance for any help or advice :-) xxxxxxx
Its something to think about I guess. I don't know how you found it the first time but I found I spent so much less on maternity leave than normal that money wasnt as much of an issue as I thought. I took 3mths maternity leave as that was all we could afford to have me off work for (DH is part-time). My hours mean I still see lots of DC though so I don't mind it. I guess you need to think about how much that will bother you, will you be able to take more time off if you wait? It depends also on your maternity deal with your new job. If you are on statutory maternity pay its only the first 6 weeks that you get much more than maternity allowance - I think in hindsight it wouldnt have hugely affected the amount of time I took off had I still been ineligible for maternity pay at the time of my pregnancy.
I guess it wont likely affect uni much as you will only be in early pregnancy when you finish but I would think about what will happen if there is a problem and everything doesnt go smoothly. If you start now your 20week scan will be around the time of your finals, for example. Or you may get pretty bad morning sickness. Even though youre worried about problems that doesnt mean you ddefinitely wont conceive straight away.
I think the main consideration job wise would be that it will be most beneficial to your chosen career to start working soon after finishing uni, when your knowledge is still fresh, and being clearly pregnant while applying for a job is bound to harm your prospects. So waiting a little while would probably be better if you feel you can. It is probably worth speaking to a doctor about what problems you might face and how long it might take to correct them, and see if theres any medication you can take for treatment, or tests to be done before trying to conceive, so you can at least get that out of the way.