Newbie TTC, 44 day cycle making me feel hopeless :(

[FeministInTraining]

Hi ladies, newbie here. Apologies in advance for the length of this, I didn't realise how much I had been bottling my worries until I started. Promise it wont happen again!!

We had been toying around with the idea of TTC for several months and decided we would go for it last month. I had my copper coil taken out in April in preparation- and due to the fact I thought I would die each month due to the amount of blood I was losing! My main issue it that my periods are all over the place. They have never been perfect (other than when I was taking the pill a few years ago). I always worried this would be a problem, in the last 6 months I have had anything between 31 and 44 day cycles. Last month was the 44 day cycle that made me paranoid (to put it mildly) about my fertility and DP was really happy that it prompted me to say let's do it now- I started my job just over a year ago so was trying to be considerate (and avoid the looks of disapproval) by waiting a bit.

Sooo... According to my iPhone app, I should have ovulated yesterday based on my average of a 38 day cycle. According to OPKs I haven't ovulated at all (although I got a faint line about 2 days before I was 'due' to ovulate). According to my CM I may have ovulated- it was increased around the time I got the faint line on the OPK but there was no EWCM although I know I've had it before- in the good ole' days where it was just annoyingly slimy (TMI?!) and not important... According to my BBT chart I am possibly not human. My chart bears no resemblance to the samples I've seen. There is no dip, and for the last few days there has been a slight incline of 0.01 degrees per day.

Nonetheless we have been DTD- which for us involves taking a break to incorporate a sterile pot and syringe due to various reasons- the short story without TMI is that DP finds it difficult to ejaculate through intercourse. This means it's quite important to be able to pinpoint when the right time is. We did this three times in the last week (every other day). We were supposed to do it again last night but we ran out of pots. We have decided to just use a fresh disposable plastic cup (we've got a syringe left) so we can have one last go this cycle and then order more online.

I guess I'm just worried and I'm not sure if I'm 'allowed' to be. I'm 25, DP is 30 which supposedly (to the naive) means everything should be fine. But my cycles are so inconsistent it's already made me feel a bit hopeless and I'm really worried I'm not ovulating. I had an ultrasound for PCOS about 5 years ago and everything was fine, but I know there are lots of other things that could be going on. I'm under the impression that there's no point in me seeing my DR until we have been TTC for a year. Does a 44 day cycle make any difference? I haven't taken hormonal contraception for at least 2 years as I wanted to know how regular (or not) my periods were and I didn't want hormones to mask the problem.

I don't know what I'm looking for, I guess I want a mix of reassurance and honesty! DP is really supportive but doesn't really understand it all and I've only told a couple of other people in RL that we are TTC as I don't want to have to face awkward conversations if it takes a while...

Apologies again for my waffling, and thanks if you took the time to read it all!

[brettgirl2]

Irregular cycles are annoying when ttc. Mine are anything from 28 to 42 days. With my first baby I got lucky and got preg without trying, my second took 7 months of AF being 'late' every month and me going bonkers symptom spotting. I found cbfm helpful but that only caters for cycles up to 28 days.

Just one other thing I find that having acupuncture even once a month makes my cycles shorter (to around 28 days) so maybe that is something to try?

On the positive my cycles were more irregular in my 20s than 30s (I used to regularly go 2 months) and I conceived twice (albiet in my 30s) without too many problems. Good luck

[brettgirl2]

I meant 42 days for cbfm btw...

[FeministInTraining]

Thanks brettgirl2 that gives me some hope! I know I could be worrying for no reason it's just really frustrating as I'm a complete control freak and this is one of the things I can't plan for- I have to just be patient! I will definitely look into acupuncture, have always been curious so this could be the excuse I've been waiting for!

At least the temping and the OPKs make me feel like I'm actually doing something about it- and I have now got my hands on a sterile pot- although it's a small urine sample one so no guarantees DP will hit the target but says he's up to the challenge!

[bluer]

I would see your doc...it shouldn't matter if its not been a year if you are asking about irregular cycles after all irregular cycles are not necessarily all about conception...irregular cycles can be an issue for people who aren't ttc but just want to know what's going on etc.

[FeministInTraining]

bluer you would think so, but in my experience they tend to try to offer the pill so that it gives you regular periods- which obviously won't help me TTC! When I was concerned before, I managed to get the ultrasound to check for PCOS but when that was fine the bottom line was "you're young, wait until you start trying and see how it goes- take the pill if you want regularity for convenience". Maybe it depends on your DR, I'm moving soon and will need to change mine so I might make an app then...

[teaandcakesolveseverything]

I feel your pain... my cycles are anything from 32 to 39 days and I can't stand not knowing what exactly is happening at any particular time, or when exactly my period is due... and then thinking I might be late when I'm not.
But seriously, you are seeing your doc because of irregular cycles not problems conceiving, and they are outside what is considered normal, therefore merit investigation. There are many causes for odd cycles, not just PCOS, so you deserve to be taken seriously and not just palmed off.
Some GPs are shit on this sort of thing. End of. If the one you initially see doesn't take you seriously, go and see others in your practice until you find one who does. There are lots of good GPs who will listen to your worries and do something to investigate them, as your cycles are not normal and therefore merit investigation.
Hope you find some answers, it might be as simple as thyroid problems or something.

[FeministInTraining]

Thanks teaandcakes AF came (29 day cycle this time!) and I'm going to register with a new doctor next week. Been meaning to since I moved a year ago, so hopefully I will have some luck there. In the meantime I will end up spending a fortune on OPK sticks as I will need to test nearly all month!!

[x2boys]

i have pcos my cycles were a nightmare sometimes i wouldnt have a period for six months ! With ds 1 i came off the pill and to my utter amazement i got pregnant five weeks later with ds2 it took 12months so anything is possible good luck

[littlemonkeychops]

OP i know how you feel, when i came off the pill to ttc my cycles were anything from 24-44 days, it's really frustrating and makes the tww a nightmare as i never knew if i was in the tww wait yet or not, argh!! But got my bfp after 7 months so iregular cycles don't necessarily mean there's a problem, see the dr if it'll help put your mind at rest but try not to worry.

[FeministInTraining]

Thanks ladies that has made me feel much more positive! Am going to bulk buy some OPK sticks and start remembering to take my temp... No harm in going to the DR and hopefully it will put my mind at rest some more. We all know stress and TTC don't mix well, FX!

[Sunshine2013Hopefully]

Hey FeministinTraining I am in the exact same position as you. I'm currently on cd41 with no sign of AF and also a contro freak! It's just so hard to take a back seat and let nature take its course isn't it! I did some research and apparently as long as u r ovulating long cycles shouldn't reli affect ur chances of conceiving. I think ur best plan (and one I will also b following this month) is to use opk's and deffo make sure ur ovulating!

[FeministInTraining]

Hi sunshine did AF appear? I'm on CD14 started using OPKs last night and got a very faint line but am hoping I get a positive in the next few days. I am yet to get a positive using them, I think I will be so excited I'll forget that it's just an ovulation sign and not pregnancy! Have been moving home so haven't been doing the BBT thing, don't even know where the thermometer is! I bought some 'cassette' OPKs online, very weird they come with a pipette! I felt like I should have beeen wearing goggles and a labcoat when I was doing my experiment! FX for a positive so that I can at least know I'm ovulating...

[RoboRabbit]

Thanks everyone for this discussion and especially littlemonkeychops for the reassurance. I have a 'fairly' regular cycle - it only varies by about 2-3 days which I now realise from reading all your posts is kind of okay. I'm hoping it's just a case of time and waiting (although not for too long!) I'm starting OPKs this month to see when I ov.

[tempertemper]

Cycles longer than 35 days may indicate non ovulation. If it happens a lot then your GP should be happy to see you and start investigations at 6months. The year thing is only when you are having regular cycles and aged under 35. Its perfectly possible to concieve with longer cycles but you get less chances per year and its way harder to predict if and when that egg will appear! Good luck. I've just been referred for help with my 7 day luteal phase after nearly a year of trying - gp more than happy to help as it looked as if my cycle was an issue. And thats despite me having two children - cycles are just very different this time around.

[FeministInTraining]

Thanks tempertemper I have resolved to register with new Dr this week so that I can get the investigation ball rolling if nothing like a miracle has happened by then! Getting really fed up of getting negative results with OPKs

[snowpuma]

Just to say, my periods are so irregular and infrequent I don't even really have a cycle - they come at most every 2 or 3 months. Despite this we managed to conceive two DCs, one took 4 months of trying and the other 5 months. I didn't do any of that charting etc as felt it would be adding stress and spoiling the vibe IYSWIM. I assumed it would take years with such infrequent periods so both times I went to the GP early on, in anticipation of problems. First time we were referred for tests, DP had sperm tested but then we were pregnant before anything else happened. Which is lucky because they told us his sperm were below-par!
Second time I worried as I was older and I thought the first time must have been a fluke. Went to GP after couple of months trying, he reassured and said keep trying for longer before seeking help. He then said lots of people come in complaining they're having problems conceiving, then find out they are pg after all - which is exactly what happened to me!
I guess what my story says is that you just don't know what's going to happen and even with the crap odds we'd have been given, with dodgy sperm and infrequent periods, we conceived both our two within 5 months of trying, so take heart!!
Lots of luck.

[FeministInTraining]

Thanks snowpuma. Was just discussing this with a friend who is also TTC and hasn't been getting positives using OPKs. I think it's me using them that's making me even more stressed out and it's probably not helpful. Trying to decide what to do next- defo want to book a Drs app just so I know I've started the process if we need help. But in the meantime am considering stopping the OPKs and just looking out for EWCM and any other changes. Maybe it will relax me a bit. Only spanner in the works is the AI. But we have bought a load of pots and syringes and DP is able to DTD without using a condom now so I am hoping the precum stuff is strong! TMI again sorry
In any case, you have made me feel better so thank you it's really nice to hear positive stories, glad it worked for you xx

[hillee]

Hi OP - I am another one with 40 day cycles. To give you some hope, I conceived DD on the third month of trying and DS on the first. Once I figured out that my luteal phase was the normal two weeks (I temped and charted), we were in business! So those with longer cycles can and do get pregnant easily. Although I could never get the hang of OPK and frankly if I went by checking CM alone, I would be ovulating twice in that 40 days...

[FeministInTraining]

Oooh lots of positivity I love it thanks hillee
Been reading out some of the posts to DP and he's quite impressed too- anything that makes me less stressed is good in his book I guess! Going to do the AI thing every few days for the rest of my cycle and abandon the OPKs as they're stressing me out. I'll consider giving the temp thing another go next cycle- my mother swears by it! I'm CD19 now, and considering the irregularity of my periods that could mean anything so I'll just keep going at it

[FeministInTraining]

So I said I would abandon OPKs as they were stressing me out just staring at me with their one little line.. But I couldn't resist.. And I got a positive!! Anyone would have thought it was a PG test the way I was smiling so much . I know theyre not a perfect measure an there could still be issues- but it's made my day! Just thought I would share that, thank you everyone for your positive stories

[janiewoozle]

Glad you got a line!! I came off the pill in April and had 50 day cycles, I was always really irregular before I went in the pill. But i got pregnant after 2 cycles so it will happen for you unfortunately I ended up miscarrying at 7 wks but it was nothing to do with my cycles, just really bad luck. I had a d&c at the beginning of October and still no AF so it's been about 60 days since that but I'm feeling positive AF will arrive sometime.

I just got really cheapo opk on eBay and its thanks to them that I knew when j was ovulating, with such long cycles its difficult to know! they were about £2.50 for a couple of months worth they come with 5 pg tests too

[FeministInTraining]

Hi Janie sorry to hear about your miscarriage, this TTC stuff really is like a lottery it's so unfair. Im glad the cheap ones seem to work as well as the others though, would be quite expensive for people like us with silly cycles if not! Unfortunately didn't manage to DTD last night, hope I still have time- but TBH Im just happy that I seem to be ovulating for this month. And at least I will know how long my luteal phase is if AF comes- looking on the bright side!!
FX your AF comes soon so you can start the OPKS xx

[janiewoozle]

aw thank you. i never tried the expensive ones, just bought some new ones on ebay last night! i think the most annoying thing about having such long cycles is having less opportunities to conceive each year - just over half the possibilities if regular cycle ladies, but there's not much can be done about it so no point in getting stressed out about it!

feeling narky as hell today so maybe AF is on her way afterall!! god love DH!!

[Danielle96uk]

Hi, i am aware this post was back in 2012 but I’ve just came across it and read the whole thread as I am struggling with the same, irregular cycles and currently on day 44 with no sign of my period but a bfn test and unsure when I’m ovulating.
Was just wondering what your outcome was with ttc?