TTC 10+ months, Part 11

(1000 Posts)
buzzybee123 Mon 05-Nov-12 19:55:46

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

akuabadoll Wed 12-Dec-12 22:36:16

Hello all, sorry yes I'm way way way out in the mud. I'm following all the talk and I'm sorry I've been crap. nelly I'm with you and waiting, art your news is just great. You are diffed for Christmas, I would be completely out of my mind, I can't imagine. Much love to you. euro sorry for all the craziness, so hard I'm sure. I've missed birthdays and a lot more and I'm sorry. I'm deep in the mud now, wishing I was diffed here but not all surprised that I'm not. Just wanted to check in to say I've been reading and wishing for the whole 10+ gang. Loves to all. gin it's like the whole Homelands deal, headscarfs, guns, the works... I have an end in sight though..leave for Christmas next week, back to the UK to see family. Holy shit, one more week... I really do think of everyone, everyday. X

CritterPants Wed 12-Dec-12 22:51:44

Oh euro how odd and I so hope it means something!

EuroShagmore Thu 13-Dec-12 07:02:46

Yep, mrsd my last cycle was the one in which I felt sick and exhausted pretty much from ov, and my acu thought I might be updiffed. And then my period started abruptly, a few days early, without the usual pre-period warning signs (cramping, temp drop, etc).

I did POAS this morning though and nada (unsurprisingly at 7dpo). To add to the menkul, my temp jumped up a bit this morning.

Thanks to you and Critter for your posts.

doll that sounds terribly exotic and exciting. I do wish that my job did not have me deskbound 90% of the time. I hope you are doing ok. Coming home for Xmas will be a shock to the system - it is bloody freezing here! I am still dealing with the shock after a week in the sunshine!

The jetlag got me again, so I am making the most of it and MNing!

MuddyWellyNelly Thu 13-Dec-12 08:12:08

A rather depressed post from me. I'm bleeding sad

Game over then. Oh well, at least I can drink at my wedding hmm.

Sorry for not name checking. It's dark in the tent.

GinSoaked Thu 13-Dec-12 08:51:43

Oh nelly massive, massive hugs. The bleeding may well not mean anything -plenty of people do have some and then go on to get a bfp-, but I knew with my cycle when I got the early bfn that it was over. You've been so upbeat and brave and I was so hoping for a diffed wedding for you. I feel very sad for you. Hopefully you have lots of lovely wedding distractions to enjoy and can forget about it all for a bit.

euro sorry about the negative pee stick, but yes it's too early. I hope everything goes ok at create. Is it the fertility mot you are having? If they're running late, we go to the coffee shop on the road at the back of the clinic and get them to call us when they are ready.

artemis I'm soooooo thrilled for you. Awww, that's just lovely that you saw the little bean and heartbeat. Is the next scan at 12 weeks? Pllllease do stay here. I find it sad how the grads disappear and I do miss peps. We're not a bus Fred and I love hearing how things are going.

doll grin at your homeland lifestyle. Hope you are ok.

madness good luck for tomorrow!

critter I think I'd just want to get on with the ivf. You ladies have all been so patient. I can't stand the waiting, hence why we've had 2 ivfs since the diagnosis about a year ago.

Gotta shoot. You'll be pleased to hear I'm slightly hungover again. Oh and sorry for lowering the tone with the tea bagging comment not really grin

mrsden Thu 13-Dec-12 09:45:37

nelly I'm so sorry, there are no words. But you will pick yourself up, you have the wedding and an amazing honeymoon to come. But I know you'll be beyond gutted. Whe we get bad news on this thread, I really do wish we were rl friends so I could console in person.

gin can I confess I don't know what tea bagging is? I don't think it's something for me though!

euro what's happening at create today? Good luck with whatever it is. Is it possible you've picked up a bug? There's a lot of stuff doing the rounds at this time of year. I must ask, what does cervix opening feel like?

art you're definitely pregnant woo hoo! I'm so happy for you. Do stay around, I miss people when they go but understand why they do.

doll yay to the uk trip.

I'm turning into a bag of nerves when I think of ivf. I'm so impressed that everyone whose been through it on this thread have been so calm, or at least that is what it appears. I feel panicky just thinking about it. I'm hoping that the thinking is worse than the reality.

I'm a few dpo on what I hope is my last before ivf cycle. So my last hope for a natural bfp.i had a bit of spotting yesterday, this is a first hmmmm.

MuddyWellyNelly Thu 13-Dec-12 10:33:34

Thank you gin and mrsden. I am ridiculously clinging on to hope but the reality I know is its a bfn. But it's watery compared to normal AF, which is opening the door to ridiculous men killing. Whoops that was an auto correct of menkulling grin. Anyway I am prone to dramatic behaviour. I just walked back from my hobbles field crying and holding my tummy and wailed to my little embies "please don't leave". Oh dear.

But. Sad and miserable as I am... This is NOT as bad as the AMH result day. Or the recent scan where I was told to cancel. This was a failed cycle and just bad luck. i did everything I could, so I have no regrets.We try naturally over our honeymoon, whilst breaking all rules and getting Royally Pissed. And then we go again. Mrsden please don't worry. The best advice is Arts One Day at a Time. The emotional side wasn't a walk in the park and the phonecalls are nerve wracking. But the physical stuff was fine. Next time I will try to remember that most of what we worry about never comes to pass. Remind me of this when I'm wailing about my lazy follies wink.

Oh I already feel a bit better. The fact I've had to frantically draft table name templates that we'd forgotten about has helped. Taking your mind off things is a good solution. I better find a new project for next time!

ArtemisTheHunter Thu 13-Dec-12 12:20:47

Oh no no no Nelly, that is just not fair... I am gutted for you and really sorry. Huge hugs. But i am glad you're being so pragmatic about it. Seems like the IVF+Wedding combo has really worked for you in keeping perspective and not obsessing. There were actually a lot of positives about your cycle so after your boozy wedding and honeymoon you'll be able to get back to it when you feel ready. In the meantime there are table plans and champagne smile

Mrsden I would second Nelly that the physical side of IVF was nowhere near as bad as i had anticipated - I think you and Gin are right and that the thinking and waiting are worse than the reality. For me the worst part was the downregging but once I was through that everything seemed to move fairly quickly. I was glad I worked through the 2ww to keep my mind occupied, although for the last few days I was completely unfocused. The positive aspect of IVF is handing over control to someone else. You just do as you're told and someone else makes the decisions. In that respect it was less stressful than obsessing over temps and pee sticks and coercing DP into duty shagging month after month. But I've still got my fingers crossed for you for that ironic diff...

Doll good to see you, don't apologise for not catching up from the midst of guns and headscarves, just wanted to know you were OK. Enjoy the xmas trip home, but do bring all your jumpers, it's chuffing freezing here!

Euro that's very weird things happening with your cycle. Could it be to do with jetlag and maybe a bit of stomach upset? TCOYF says that jet lag can play havoc with cycles. But odd that the cycle before your holiday was weird too.

Gin good work with the hangover. I'm glad you lowered the tone with teabagging, I had thought after my fanny candle stories it couldn't get much worse grin. The hospital will scan me again at 9 weeks and if all is still OK I'll be discharged from the assisted conception unit and I assume will be thrown to the tender mercies of NHS midwife care. I don't know what the 9 week scan is 'for' but I guess it's good to have these markers.

Thank you all for the reassurance about me sticking around smile. I'm not really thinking beyond the next scan. I had a dream last night that I miscarried and woke up in a huge panic. My mum and one friend who knows are both hopelessly overexcited but that isn't really helping as I'm very subdued still and not taking anything for granted. I guess being very conscious of what could go wrong is normal after everything we've been through to get here. It seems very fragile still.

EuroShagmore Thu 13-Dec-12 13:43:40

Nelly it's not over yet. My friend had a normal period after her IVF and didn't even bother testing. She went for her follow-up consultation and they insisted on doing a test. Her baby is about to have its first Xmas. So please don't give up just yet. (But getting twatted at your wedding is not a bad consolation prize if it is a BFN!) How many days past transfer are you? Can you test yet?

Ps - I love the autocorrect typo!

mrsd & Art I don't think I have a bug, although it's possible. And I doubt it's the jetlag cos I take 2-3 long haul trips a year usually and it never has any effect on my cycle.

mrsd I'm not quite sure if it's the cervix opening or moving forward that I feel but I feel it just before ov and just before AF. It feels a bit like opening your bumhole for a poo - that's the nearest I can put it! <Competes with gin and Art to lower the tone> wink

Spotting that is not usual, you say? Hmmmmmm.

Gin & mrsd I had the scan plus initial consultation today - run down below in case anyone is interested. We were at Harley St with no convenient coffee shops, but that was fine. They were not running very late for us.

They did a long, detailed fannycam scan, looking at everything in detail and measuring the blood flow to ovaries and womble, looking at the lining, counting the follies, etc. Apparently bar three small intramural fibroids that should not have any effect on anything, my ladyparts look A-OK. He said it was unusual not to find anything at all on the scan, but mine was clear.

Then we had a long consultation, the outcome of which is that we will try natural IVF the cycle after next (as next ov will probably fall really close to NYE and just be too tricky - frankly I'd prefer it if the embryologist wasn't p1ssed and wearing a comedy hat or something). Natural IVF=just a trigger shot to time egg collection and maybe some nurofen type drug that can help delay ov a bit. I'm fine with that.

The plan is probably 1-2 cycles of natural and then consider mild stimulation to get a few eggs. <Arranges to have salary paid directly to clinic for the foreseeable future>

<waves to everyone>

MuddyWellyNelly Thu 13-Dec-12 14:23:14

Thank you for the timely reminder about the positives art. It went so much better than expected of course, though we just fell at the final hurdle. The worrisome me though thinks we won't get so lucky with follie-egg-embryo again confused. But that's getting too far ahead.

Of course you must stay with us! And hooray for the scan. I can't imagine I'd ever properly relax though. We will hold your hand whenever you need it. smile.

euro I have bad period pains. I'm dying to take ibuprofen but I won't until after the blood result. But I know for sure I won't be one of those stories. I'm very glad your appointment went well and you have a plan. What was your AFC?

Mr Nelly sent me the loveliest email earlier that made me howl. I am very lucky to have him. I am very pleased we have wedding/honeymoon planned so soon.

Has pout been around recently? Hello to everyone else. It's so quiet just now.

MuddyWellyNelly Thu 13-Dec-12 14:33:07

Ooh euro think my reply to you looked curt blush. I'm so rubbish on my phone! I forgot to say I'm 14 DP"O" (EC) and 12 days past ET. I get my blood test tomorrow so will just wait for that now I think. Now that I know it's going to be negative, it's just a formality. I was terrified at the prospect of answering the phone when I didn't know which way it would go. Weird hmm

mrsden Thu 13-Dec-12 14:39:41

euro well done on having a great womb and ovaries! Do you find it frustrating not knowing where the problem is? Did the dr offer any likely causes? The natural route sounds great for you. Could you tell from the scan if af was imminent or where in the cycle you are?

nelly mr nelly sounds lovely, you're lucky to have each other. When I feel down about all this ttc I remember that I am very, very lucky to have a wonderful husband who I wouldn't swap for the world. I love him even with crap sperm.

It is quiet on here. We've had a fairly successful run recently with bfps. Long may it continue. Although I am Little worried about being the only one posting in 10 years time.

Did anyone read the thread speculating whether Jennifer Anniston is pregnant? I never thought shed be pregnant before me. Wail. Of course I wish her well.

CritterPants Thu 13-Dec-12 15:01:52

nelly I am so sorry. I think you've been incredibly pragmatic about all this. I was so hoping that you'd have a different result, but as art says, there were lots of positives about your cycle. All the eggs you produced fertilised - that's a 100% fertilisation success rate! You can do this. We will be here for round 2 after you've had a lovely relaxing honeymoon with lots of sff - that's if the honeymoon sff ironic diff doesn't happen, of course. You've done it once, you can do it again, and there is no reason why you won't get the follie-egg-embryo combo again. Mr Nelly sounds wonderful. I wish I could give you a big hug.

art I can understand you'd be worried, and do please stick around. I miss people when they go and agree that we aren't a bus thread - don't the assisted conception thread ladies stay post-diffage?

euro your symptoms sound really interesting - did you mention anything about them to the clinic while you were there? Really interesting about the scan and great news that it all looked good. It's fantastic that you have a plan, too.

mrsd <ears perk> Spotting you say? Interesting. I don't want to fuel mentalling but I would be wondering, could it be implantation bleeding? Oh, I so hope that it is.

doll It's so nice to hear from you and being out in the field with Homeland style guns and mud sounds terribly exciting <naive>. I hope it's distracting you a bit too. I'm glad you get to go home soon - I'm sure it'll be nice to have a bit of a holiday from everything and see your family. I'm going home in about 10 days and I really can't wait. Have you thought about doing another round in the new year, or are you going to take a break from it all?

madness how are you feeling today? Any better? I hope you got some rest last night.

Waves to all. I had a chat with my mum last night where I was moaning about possibly maybe perhaps ovulating now - while MrC is away - and she said I was 'snatching defeat from the jaws of victory'. I think that even if my cycle does decide to come back in the next couple of weeks, I will go ahead with IVF anyway. It's got to be better than the waiting. gin, I like your good feelings about 2013.

EuroShagmore Thu 13-Dec-12 15:28:56

Now nelly what were you saying upthread about worrying too much about the things that don't happen? If you do have to repeat, you will have embryos - you got them this time after such a difficult and confusing time stimming. That is of course if you don't get good news tomorrow or a honeymoon ironidiff. (You do know of course if you get that, everyone will assume it was your first attempt and long termers will hate you? grin) And you were not curt at all (although you are quite entitled to be!)

Critter I didn't say anything about the symptoms. I was taking a very close look at my womb when he was scanning that though! (Of course, I didn't see anything.)

I do find it frustrating having no diagnosis, mrsd. Incredibly so. When the dr asked me why I had the NK cell tests (of which she was completely dismissive) I said it was because I needed answers and found it very difficult to get my head around needing medical intervention when no one could give me a diagnosis. She said human fertilisation is very complicated and there could be many physical things that go wrong - the follicle doesn't actually have an egg in it, the egg isn't mature, it doesn't find its way to the tube, it doesn't travel down the tube as it should, etc. I take her point. And as Art said, for her, IVF was probably a sledgehammer to crack a nut (Mr Euro has asked me to stop using that phrase in relation to fertility stuff...) and it could have been something really minor like mucus PH that was the problem and IVF just happened to get around it. Maybe it will be the same for me. There is some minor thing that isn't quite working as it should, but no one can spot it, but IVF will somehow magically resolve the problem.

I'd actually quite like Jen to be preggers. Kylie is also on my "slebs who are allowed to get PG" list (it's quite a short list).

Nelly my AFC was 10 on the right ovary and 11 on the left. Higher than they were expecting from my AMH result. Although I'm pretty sure it was quite a bit higher than that when King's did a count last January (I remember them mentioning one ovary was considered polycystic as it had more than 13).

joycep Thu 13-Dec-12 15:37:47

Nelly – oh no i am sorry. It’s so unfair. I hope that this isn’t it but if it is , you have come along way since that amh result and a threatened cancelled ivf. you got embies and everything and it’s just rotten luck.  I’m so pleased you have your wedding and honeymoon to look forward to.
 
Art – i can’t tell you how thrilled i am for you. please please stick around. I totally understand the need to be cautious. Sadly that is one of the effects of long term ttc and past m/c’s , it ruins what is suppose to be a beautiful time. But it won’t be long until 9wks and then 12wks and then you should be able to relax. Well done on getting the job by the way.
 
Rabbit – i can’t believe AF came on your birthday and after getting a positive opk. Are opks exactly the same as preggo sticks? I think i must have missed this. Really bizarre you got a positive if that’s the case. I wonder whether this is another cp for you. Oh rabbit, all this dicking round is so unfair. And you’re not the only one who is a pessimist. I can’t see myself having a baby, i do strongly believe that someone is screwing with roy and i.
 
Sar – how many dpo are you now? Are you still getting fluttering? Progesterone is so important and some people can have good results 7dpo but then it inexplicably drops off a cliff. But there are so many things to worry about , i find it exhausting. Also i love your idea of practising a rude face when someone asks us this w/e when we are having children. I think i will curl my lip, frown and say ‘what? Why the hell would want them and what business is it of yours?’ ha ha – that will keep people quiet. It brought a tear to my eye reading about your dh and Fireman sam sad. Roy and I have been miseries for ages. We do both have good sense of humours and can have good fun but we really are quite sad about things.
 
Euro – gees it really does sound something is going on doesn’t it. are you still off the gluten? Goodness i am crossing fingers.
 
Mrsd – totally understand the bag of nerves. I am too. I find i’m getting quite upset easily at the moment and i think it’s because i’m stressing about everything. Anyway, an ironic bfp would be amazing for you. spotting is intriguing.
 
Gin – how you doing? Hungover is excellent! Turning up drunk to these things this weekend is the best option. I’m glad your bro’s wedding was good and no nosey questions came your way.
 
Madness – wishing you all the luck for tomorrow. I hope the sore throat has buggered off.
 
Critter – i also would be tempted to charge on with ivf. it’s so easy to put these things off. I’ve found i’ve put off things and then i suddenly realise 18months has gone by. It’s crazy.
 
Buzz – i loved your post from a few days ago about remembering what we have done with our life and our achievements so far. So so true. It’s so easy to forget everything positive.
 
I had my mid cycle scan and E2 test yesterday and now i’m on to the pee sticks to test for ovulation. I get so nervous waiting for the phone to ring to be told results. I haven’t even started the nerve racking stuff so i’m going to be a basket case by the end of this. Oh and mother called and she said “i happened to be talking to ...”. Seriously who hasn’t she told! But to be fair, i think it’s all out of kindness. I think she is getting a lot of questions about when she’s going to become a grandmother. She’s literally the only person out of all her friends who isn’t. She then said we would have to adopt. That’s her favourite chestnut right now. Sigh.  

mrsden Thu 13-Dec-12 15:40:22

Kylie is on my list too. Its a list of one. They can all get pregnant, but after me.
I understand why it's frustrating not to have an answer euro. I think you have every reason to feel hopeful about ivf.

nelly remember you managed to get two embryos, that's pretty good going so I agree with what's already been said and that this is just a numbers game and you can feel positive about the future.

Are you spending Xmas in the states critter? Do you have snow? I'm wrapping presents that I should have posted days ago, it's making me feel a teeny bit excited about xmas.

mrsden Thu 13-Dec-12 15:46:28

It's so much better going into ivf knowing we have the support of each other, joy we can hand hold, you're a pro at injecting already so I'll probably want to pick your brains.

My mil is similar, shes the only one of her friends without grandchildren and I think she gets asked a lot about us. I think she feels quite sad about it, which in turn makes me feel sad. She is always knitting stuff for a baby and talks about when we have grandchildren quite a lot. She would be a nightmare of she knew about ivf, she would never be off the phone.

joycep Thu 13-Dec-12 16:02:14

Euro - that's a great afc count. I am hoping you won't even need to do mild ivf as this month is looking positive. What are Create 's success rates with natural and mild??

EuroShagmore Thu 13-Dec-12 16:50:31

joy I'm not sure what the published stats are but the dr said this morning around 17% with natural and around 40% with mild. She said it could be slightly higher for us given how everything looked this morning and our results. It is the first time I have come out of a fertility apointment feeling relatively good about myself!

Results are always nervewracking. It's like waiting to find out whether you have passed an exam you couldn't revise for!

In some ways I envy you the excited mother (although I am sure it would drive me menkul at times!). I wish I could talk to mine about all this but she just isn't interested. I keep thinking about trying my dad. I think he would be more supportive. The problem is that as a family we were never very open about "girl stuff". I assume he's worked out that I started my period by now, but I don't think anyone actually told him! grin That was very much my mum's domaine.

Poutintrout Thu 13-Dec-12 17:41:07

I thought that I would log on and see how you were doing nelly and am so, so sorry to see that you are bleeding. I know you probably don't feel like it now but don't lose heart. This cycle showed that you responded brilliantly and that next time will be your time. I was thinking alot about this, it is a numbers game and you will get there. Big hugs and luffs to you.

euro intrigued face at your weird cycle. It is odd. I have wondered many times whether stuff happens on some cycles.
Great news that your scan showed that everything was all plumbed in perfectly grin I agree that it is a nice rarity to leave a fertility appointment with optimism.

rabbits oh jeez at another headf* cycle for you. 'Tis most odd.
Happy birthday too. I hope that you were spoiled and had a good time despite AF joining the party!
BTW did you make those little clay tags? They looked so cute and I wondered how easy it was to do.

critter happy belated birthday to you too.

Joycep & sarlat I'm sorry that you are feeling sad. I think that me and MrP are a bit in the tent too but it is manifesting itself as constant bickering not helped by him getting trashed at his works do and falling asleep whilst looking at nuddy girls on his phone while I was in the bathroom. To say I was unimpressed was an understatement
joy I did giggle at your mum. My mum keeps saying how so and so has "cut you out an article on IVF from the Daily Mail". Fecking fabulous!

mrsd I guess Kylie can join The List.
BTW I am convinced that I will still be here on the thread for years too. It's funny how I am optimistic for all of you guys but somehow can't imagine a baby for myself.

gin I'm glad that the wedding turned out to be fun in the end. I think that sometimes we imagine that something will be awful and it can never live up to the awfulness we have imagined grin

madness good luck for tomorrow, it will all be over soon and you can focus on putting the op worries behind you.

art do stay around, I would miss you. I was chuffed to read about your scan and seeing the little heart beat.

Doll It sounds like you deserve a break at home. Not long now!

I made the appointment with the IVF clinic for the 3rd Jan. I feel so embarrassed saying this because it makes me look like a total smalltown hick, but I need photographic ID and have no passport (God I really do sound like a pratt but we don't do holidays abroad 'cos of the dogs and I just haven't got around to applying). Also I don't have a driving license......erm heaps more shame on self In fact I don't really seem to exist at all grin Did any of you have to show proof of ID/residency? I am totally stressing now because the passport wait is 7 weeks apparently. I am starting to think that this IVF malarky is just bloody jinxed.

EuroShagmore Thu 13-Dec-12 18:16:17

I think the photo ID is for the HFEA forms, pout. I'm sure you could provide it later. Could you apply for a provisional driving licence? That might be cheaper and quicker. It won't matter if you don't have it for a consultation anyway. I think they just need it before treatment.

CritterPants Thu 13-Dec-12 18:23:57

pout lovely to see you back - could you call the clinic and ask them what other kinds of photographic ID they take, apart from passport and driving license? Maybe explain the situation and see if there is anything else that they could take instead? Sorry to hear about MrP's phone incident, I would be super-pissed off too!

euro I probably wouldn't have asked either but it does sound really interesting about what's been happening with you recently. I really hope that this is a lucky cycle for you.

mrsd there's no snow here, but there is blue sky, which makes a huge difference to how hard winter is to manage. I wish there was snow! Usually there are a few days of it, at least. I'm going home for Christmas, so I'll have just over a week in the UK, which will be really nice. I have my fingers crossed for enough snow to look pretty but not so much that it disrupts flights! Are you going home, or staying put?

joy I think you're right. In fact my mum said if I did ovulate now I should think about not telling MrC as he would want to try au naturel and has occasionally moaned about IVF and having to spaff into jars etc. Sorry to hear about the insensitive mother comments.

Kylie can go on the (short) list. I was listening to Eric Pickles on Desert Island Discs this morning and he said that one of the great sadnesses of his life was that he and his wife hadn't been able to have children. Kirsty Young was asking him whether that was out of choice and he said it wasn't. It made me sad for him and his wife. I don't know much about him, being in the US and all that, but it did make me remember art's remarks about how society doesn't recognise involuntary childlessness now.

Poutintrout Thu 13-Dec-12 18:38:20

The lady on the phone was insistent that I needed photographic ID and could only suggest a passport or driving licence. I thought about a provisional too euro but guess what....according to my, albeit tertiary research, you need a passport to apply for that.
It seems a total nonsense because I was reading the NHS guidelines and you have to prove that you have been ordinarily resident in the UK for the last 12 months...surely not having a passport proves that beyond doubt, I couldn't have gone anywhere else grin

critter I agree that sometimes not broadcasting ovulation can be a good thing. We had our first fail for ages this month and I reckon it was because I had announced that this was 'our last chance'.

Ohhh I don't want snow. We live in a really hilly place and it's treacherous when it's icy. Shrieking at two dogs to "stop pulling" whilst careering down the road is mortifying.

sarlat Thu 13-Dec-12 18:42:34

Nelly - I am sorry. It is very sad to hear that this cycle didn't work out. It just feels a bit funny doesn't it. I totally know where you are coming from about it not feeling as bad as hearing awful test result news. I have found my test results more ditressing than the failed IVF cycles too. And that is because there is still hope when a failed cycle happens. Still plenty of hope that you can cycle again and produce lovely follies, eggs and embryos or via natural conception. It's bad luck sweetheat, that is all. You can be very proud of yourself for giving it a go and belieiving in your body. Take care, focus on the beautiful bride to be that you are and have ONE HELL OF A WEDDING DAY!.

Buzz - you do deserve a treat. I bet your new top is fabulous.

Rabit - hmm hmm. Sounds very like the last cycle with the CP I have to say. I think progesterone may be worth a shot before IVF. But I am sorry the witch had such awful awful timing - damn you universe. I am pesimistic at the moment too. It is a self preservation thing. I do truley hope you are ok. You are on one hell of a roller coaster!

Gin - you are really good at distracting yourself and finding the good times - hats off to you. Sparkly dresses and indie tunes sound amazeballs grin. I agree January may be hard - it can feel a bit gloomy, could you plan a nice overnight hotel trip for you and DH? I doubt you have post conception issues - it really is a luck thing but I do understand the menkalling. And ha ha ha at teabagging. I like the low tone humour - stops me taking things so seriously. Horray for the hangover.

Art - wow, so pleased to hear that the scan went well. That is wonderful news. And congratulations about the job. This has been one hell of a month for you hasn't it. I understand why you want to take the pregnancy one week at a time - but you are doing great. Uggh to the evil dream - you poor thing. I am so pleased that you mum is giddy - bless her. And stay here as long as you like, would miss you, please stay smile

Critter - your explanation of pre and post conception difficulties were spot on and has really helped me think about how I want to explain what is going through my head to the Dr's next time. Thanks for the tips about managing teams. I expect to be taking on some management duties after January - but I think I am going to go on every course I can find grin. I totally agree about moving on to IVF in January. There are too many "ifs, buts and maybes" in this game where as IVF allows you to take some definate steps forward. How exciting. Remember it can and does happen for people!!!

Madness - I always find that work and life stress seems to step up a level the minute something really important is going on. Why does everything happen at once? The ginger tea and relaxing sounds good. You won't get a cold - I won't let that happen grin. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and I have nothing but admiration for the way you are dealing with the op and plan of action. Nearly on the home straight my lovely, good luck. xxxx

Euro - the plot thickens confused. Your symptoms do sound hormonal, especially due to the blob of cm. Did the clinic have any ideas? I was wondering about some sort of harmless ovarian cyst but they would have seen it at the scan had that been the case. Anyway, I am pleased to hear you are in good nic. That makes trying natural IVF 100% the right thing for you as you stand a great chance. Is it worth trying to get an early pregnancy blood test to see if there is any evidence of implantation this month? I understand about the ongoing frustration at not having a diagnosis. Very bloody annoying. But how wonderful to hear that you came away from that appointment feeling good about things. I have never come out of an appointment like that. The only other thing I can suggest is we were talking about odd cycles last week due to a full or new moon or something woo like that. My reflexologist told me that when the moon changes it interferes with our periods and cycles. Many of us noticed weird cycles this month - maybe all a pile of twaddle, but who knows. confused Keep us up to date with how things go.

Den - a pre IVF BFP would be brill - I will wait for an update about the spotting. But if you do need IVF, it will be fine. It seems far far worse than it is. The scans and jabs are fine, it is more the ups and downs of the emotions which you need to watch out for. But we are all here to help with that. Big hugs, not long and things will be moving in the right direction.

Joy - I am 8 dpo and the fluttering has gone since 6 dpo. So hard to link it to implantation now. It is usually about 9 dpo onwards. Very very confusing as you say. I am tempted to ask for progesterone support within a natural cycle FET if that makes sense next time. I did ask the nurse for that last time but she rudley replied that "that wouldn't be a natural cycle then would it?" I found that to be a very un-enlightened response. There are all kinds of combinations of reasons for why we might do or not do things. For me, because ovulation is fairly easy to predict and my womb linning is good the downregging and stimming drugs seem unnesiccary (why would I have drugs if I can avoid them). But if I am concerned about supporting implantation then why not top up the progesterone. Makes sense to me. Anyway, back to thr point. I'm sorry to hear that CassaJoyRoy is a miserable one too. Things like fireman sam really are the things that get to you don't they. Joy - I am sorry for the further 'helpful' comments from you mum. It isn't intended to hurt you of course but it must still be upsetting. Best of luck with those results. There is no reason at all to suggest they may come back as abnormal. But here is some gentle handholding to ease you in to the world of IVF.

Pout - sorry to hear the pouty household is a little blue too. I had to laugh about the "cut an article out about IVF". I have experienced one or two people I know trying to tell me information they have read / seen on the news. Unfortunatley it is rarely relevant is it. grin. The passport thing is to enable you to be 'checked' by the human embryo authority or whatever they are called. I am sure you could provide an alternative form of ID - ring the clinic and see what they say. I am sure you could delay that bit of paperwork if needed a little of you do need to get the passport. You are not jinxed, you are lovely and unique and all will be fab [fhappy]

Well 8 dpo here. I feel a bit rough but nothing to do with exciting womb events. I have been made to work in exceptionally cold conditions this week and it is taking its toll. I have had 2 mugs of soup today and far too much tea and cofee (decaf you understand wink). My cycle was very exciting leading up to and around ovulation due to the 9 days of copious ewcm (sorry boak). But that is where the fun has ended. The eye twitching in the womb sensations or fluttering sensations started at 2 dpo and ended at 6 dpo. So I can't get excited about those. Chumba and me are not looking forward to Christmas but are trying to find little things which make us happy. Thinking of a pre-new job mini break, I would like a back massage, a few cinema trips and a trip to our favourite antique / junk shop and farm shop cafe. All we can do is the little things sometimes ay?

ThatWayMadnessLies Thu 13-Dec-12 19:19:20

Hi ladies,

So sorry about this latest development nelly. I was feeling so positive for you. mrsd is right. Consoling people over the computer just feels so inadequate. I'm so pleased that the wedding is coming up. Mine was definitely the best day of my life so far and I'm sure yours will be too smile.

sar You are my immunity superhero grin. Sore throat is still lingering but not getting any worse so I intend to have a very early night and feel fine tomorrow. The lovely ladies at work said that I should be fine as long as I don't have a fever. MrM is pretty anxious about the surgery too. We had a talk the other day about how he used to be worried that something might happen to me in childbirth and he'd be left on his own with a baby. Now he says he's worried that if something happened to me he'd be left on his own sad. Definitely good to remember how lucky we are with our lovely husbands and partners. Infertility can make or break couples and I definitely think that it has made us closer.

pout I'm sure that you can tell them you'll bring I a passport whenever you get one or ask at citizens advice if there's something that you can get quicker.

euro your appointment sounds great. Natural or mild ivf sounds fab xx

joy your mum sounds like hard work, no matter how well meaning she is. Mine will be at the hospital before I wake up tomorrow if they'll let her. Will be good to have her around next week when MrM is at work and I need someone to make me tea and toast some company.

Waves to critter buzzy gin and everyone else I've missed. Off to pack a bag with jammies and gossipy magazines.

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