Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

(1000 Posts)
goldengirl71 Thu 11-Oct-12 21:51:58

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

hopefulgum Tue 16-Oct-12 12:39:32

calibee, I hope you won't just lurk, we love having you around. I'm sorry I didn't comment earlier, but I think that progesterone result is really good, especially at 8 DPO. I am envious of such a good result.

Hippy, I wish I had lit a candle on the day, I would have lit a candle for all our lost and much-loved little ones. I plan to light a candle this week some time when I have a chance to really take the time to remember my babies.

Golden - it sounds like the clomid is doing its thing by the way you are feeling.Your DH does sound like a real trooper. You'll get those sperm in place and pop off a fabulous egg. All will be well.

My biscuitbiscuit's are really sore, already, I hope that's a good sign.They are really sensitive. But I know it has happened before to no avail, so shall reserve excitement when they are still tender at 13 DPO.

First day back at work today, so feeling pretty knackered.

Love to all.thanks

notsoold Tue 16-Oct-12 13:21:00

Gg....I tried the opk but struggled to go without drinking enough liquids or visiting the loo ( kidneys problems here). But maybe a should reconsider....
Calibe...come back and please don't lurk away (although as a lurker myself I am i no position to say nowt)
Hopeful it took me a while to understand the biscuit thing...first I thought donuts, fried eggs, baps and then bingo the right thing....I know I can be really slow.. smile

gothinrecovery Tue 16-Oct-12 13:35:41

Just dropping in, not been online for a couple of days. Big hugs to everyone.

Gum - sounds really positive this month! Golden - fingers crossed the Clomid will do its job.

Nothing much to report from me, I am stupidly tired for no good reason. AF was heavier than usual and lasted a bit longer which probably didn't help. On the plus side at least my cycle seems to be back to its usual 28 days. Feel pretty flat though, I had hoped I would be pg again by now - was daft enough to believe all the stuff about increased fertility after miscarriage which clearly for me isn't the case. Trying to stay positive though and do nice things with DH and friends rather than obsessing too much (which is why I don't temp etc - Golden I think you have asked that before).

CaliBee Tue 16-Oct-12 13:55:11

golden and I crossed posts. I love your dry humour...just me being very pmsish. grin.
I promise not to lurk.

Back to work and a vomiting and diarrhoea bug strikes the ward that I am due to visit this afternoon...do I or dont I?? I really dont deal with vomit too well lol.

goldengirl71 Tue 16-Oct-12 17:34:03

Calibee, thank you for accepting my private apology, you're lovely.

Goth, I'm sorry you're feeling poo, but I envy your determination to enjoy your life instead of being in a permanently suspended state of frenzied baby-yearning like me. Personally, I think all those folk who tell us we're ultra fertile after miscarriage should be rounded up and shot. Caused me no end of misery, them lot.

Notsoold, you make me laugh with your interpretation of [bisuit]. Do reconsider OPKs if at all possible. I drink huge amounts of water, too, but I just about manage to limit my intake for the two hours necessary before testing. I just feel terribly sorry for your husband - but that's because I'm learning just how much this ttc shite impacts on our lovely other halves.

Gum, your faith in my Clomid, DP's sperm and my eggs is heartwarming. Thank you even though I have no faith this month whatsoever

Today I went and got my hair bleached as I put it off last week when I thought I may be pregnant [stupid false hope emotion]. I kept falling asleep under the heater and was told I was very quiet by the staff who I usually keep entertained with my lunacy. I felt like I had run a marathon and was generally not feeling like 'me'. No problem..but now I have a nasty headache. If these are indeed symptoms of the Clomid doing its job, Gum, then bring it on, I say smile

Hugs to all of you. How are you, Irish, Eirehead, Cheese & Somewhere? xx

goldengirl71 Tue 16-Oct-12 17:36:00

I do wish the 'c' on my laptop would stop sticking. 'Bisuit' was supposed to be biscuit!

littlepinkfizz Tue 16-Oct-12 19:39:37

Loving the breasticles there gum ! grin

goth wish I was more like you and not stressing too much. Must admit to being more relaxed this month even though only cd5 but DP has faithfully promised to Dtd every other day during fertile period so that's all I can ask. Will be using opk's though as didn't get a smiley until day 17 last mouth. Dtd then but still bfn . Sometimes I wonder if I should bother at all with them.

golden glad you got a few zzz's under the drier and came out looking stunning! Hopefully the Clomid will do its job.

hopefulgum Wed 17-Oct-12 00:15:07

Morning all. Boy do I feel like shite. My DS, who we are progressing to his own bed (at 4 years old, it is about time) woke up 4 times last night and wanted mummy. I feel wretched after such a disturbed night - feels alot like having a small baby actually. Perhaps it is the universes/god/whatever's way of testing to see if I really do want to do it all again. Well, I feel like crap, but I say "bring it on". Nice high temp this morning, but not sure I can trust it because I'd been up two hours before. But I don't care, I put it in my chart anyway and it looks lovelysmile

I'm glad you did get your hair done,*Golden*, I think a fresh do does help a girl feel pretty. I love getting my hair done, but can't afford to do it more than once every three months. My hairdresser, Jason, is gorgeous (actually not at all like a hairdresser, very down to earth, we talk about gardening,kids,animals), and I love being pampered,and having dead straight hair for a couple of days (my hair is very curly). I love the feeling of sleek,straight,shiny hair. If I were loaded (with cash) I'd get a blow job (dry) done every week. I'm hopeless at straightening it myself and couldn't manage the time it takes anyway.

Well, as per usual,I have to run and get ready for work.
I'm taking my DS to the dentist for his first filling (bad parent emoticon), and I'm really not looking forward to it. There is a lovely lady dentist who specialises in little children, so hopefully it won't be too dreadful, and the drugs will help him sleep properly tonight.

notsoold, I use opk's and I'm very slack with how I do it. I don't do any of the not drinking too much,waiting to pee etc, I just do one in the afternoon, and it is looking darkish, repeat it later on until I see it is positive. I even get positives in the morning (when apparently it isn't possible?). So don't worry too much, buy a big bundle of internet cheapies and test away. There's no way my DH and I could be DTD every second day (he's 51), and I don't feel like it, so the opk's are the way to go. I used to have a fertility monitor, which was excellent actually, because you use first morning wee, and it tells you when you are running up to ovulation. But I did find buying the sticks to put into it very expensive, and can't buy them in Australia, so I sold it on ebay.

Better go.Have a lovely day/evening/morning, whatever it is over there...grin

hopefulgum Wed 17-Oct-12 00:16:00

golden, I don't know why sometimes your name won't come up bold even though I put stars either side of it?

JBrd Wed 17-Oct-12 09:46:17

Morning all! I've been too quiet for too long - again! Just can't find the energy to write on here, but I love reading all your posts.

Hope you are all well, given the circumstances... I've seen some heartbreaking posts in the last few weeks, I hope you are all coping with what life is throwing at you at the moment.

Thanks so much for you kind kind words about my sh** job situation, goldengirl and hopefulgum, I have to admit that I shed a couple of tears because you hit the nail(s) on the head(s) with your comments, and it felt so nice that there's someone who understands my conflict!
I have since then decided that I am going actively start looking for something else. I know I've only been in the current place for 4-5 months, but I really can't see it improving - the baseline being that it's not what I want to do! So time for reflection and soul-searching, trying to figure out what else there is for me.
I thought I might stick it out until I get pregnant, then at least I'd have maternity pay and a job to go back to - but I've come to the conclusion that even if I got pregnant today, I'd still have to be in this job for another 8 months or so, and the thought of that is just agony! Life's too short! So I'm taking the plunge... As DH always says 'it'll be alright, we will be alright'. He's so supportive in all this, thankfully.

Otherwise no 'big' news, sigh... I'm charting away, and after being a bit doubtful at the start, I'm starting to see my graph making sense. Still a bit hmm because my OPK was positive on Saturday, so I expected my temp to start going up the day after (it says everywhere that you are most likely to ovulate within 24hrs after a positive OPK), but my temp only started rising between Monday and Tuesday - is that common? It's still on the up today, so I'm wondering if I ovulated on Monday? When we didn't dtd, go figure!
Been very good in the run-up though, however, the downside being that today I woke up with a bladder infection sad. So no work for me today, but ouchy ouch! Hate them! Oh, and a thought occured to me just now - could this be the reason for my temp rising...? This is all so confusing <<scuttles off to find the hot water bottle and to read up on FertilityFriend>>

TinaO99 Wed 17-Oct-12 10:20:32

arghhhh just when i thought i could relax now I'm stressing about my lack of symptoms, I want sore boobs and I've got normal boobs, I want to feel sick and i feel fine, I even did another pregnancy test on Monday that said I was 3+ weeks and I almost don't believe it. Just spoke to a nurse at care who tried to reassure me but I know I'm going to be worried for the next 2 weeks until I have my first scan
does this worry never end?! confused

goldengirl71 Wed 17-Oct-12 10:47:33

Pink, good luck with your rabbit-like DTD! It must be even worse getting a BFN when you've shagged like billy-o for what seems like forever. Oh, and I didn't look 'stunning' when I emerged from the hairdressers; I am currently attempting to grow my pixie crop and it's that horrid no-style length which the hairdresser insisted on blow-drying yesterday and sending me onto the streets with a beautifully-platinum but crap helmet-head blush

Gum, how the hell have you and your hubby managed to have sex these past four years with little Charlie in your bed?! shock Can't you swaddle him tightly, play radio white-noise and put tape over his mouth? Or is that abuse? hmm I, too, am trying to get in to see the dentist. Last night, whilst chewing madly on a treacle toffee, yet another piece of tooth fell away (that's two this month) leaving stalactites of pain. I wish I hadn't done so much amphetamine in my 20s & 30s sad
Gum, I think maybe my name wasn't emboldened in your other post because you didn't leave a space between the first asterisk and the previous word. I also fail to embolden someone's name if I put it in brackets.

Re OPKs: I keep reading that positives in the morning are not to be trusted as the level of LH in the urine is always elevated in the mornings anyway around the fertile window. So, for an accurate result, they advise testing only between 11am and 8pm, with 3pm being the optimum time for accurate readings.

JBrd, I really feel for you with your job situation but it is something you must not procrastinate over. Shit jobs can ruin our quality of life and self-esteem and make us doubt ourselves with a ferocity that becomes real in our mind. What happened with your career workshop? Knowing what you want to do is obviously half the battle - you don't need me to tell you that. Can you afford to retrain? How does college/voluntary work sound? an your DP afford to support you whilst you 'test some waters'? Remember...your job is not who you are. It does not reflect what you are capable of as a human being. When you die, you will not be remembered for how well you did your job. Good luck, love x

goldengirl71 Wed 17-Oct-12 10:58:56

JBrd, a positive OPK indicates that ovulation is imminent - between 24 and 36 hours away. However, the Clearblue smileys used to give me a positive two whole days before ovulation. So, if your positive OPK was on Saturday, you may have ovulated on Monday. You will know this is the case if your temperature dipped slightly on Monday and then rose considerably and remained higher from Tuesday. In other words, a sustained rise in temperature indicates you ovulated the day before. Feel free to look at my charts: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/goldengirl71

goldengirl71 Wed 17-Oct-12 11:01:32

Tina, poor you. I know how feverishly you want those symptoms but you must stay rational. You know that lots and lots of women go through their first trimester feeling no symptoms whatsoever. No twinges, no sore boobs, no sickness, no tiredness. Please have faith x

hopefulgum Wed 17-Oct-12 12:16:31

Golden, you're kidding, right? We've had plenty of sex, without the child in the bed,over the last four years (we there's a will...). You see, the "nursery", or DS's bedroom, has always had a double bed in it, and he'd be asleep in it, etc,etc. We certainly didn't have sex in the same bed as our son.

I've co-slept with three of my five kids, and it's never been an issue. However, I do admit that having my DH sleeping beside me nightly has made having sex less"scheduled" and a bit more spontaneous.

I am sure Charlie will get used to sleeping alone, and I accept it may take some time. It was worth all the uninterrupted sleep I had while he was really little. Getting up and feeding a baby for hours, 5 times a night is torture. Laying in bed, sleeping whilst baby munched on my boob was preferable. But it isn't for everyone and I believe everyone should just do what works for them.

Tina, try not to worry. The 3+ on the pregnancy test is great! Remember, "FTYAP". Every pregnancy is different and many women do not get sore boobs or other symptoms, and sometimes no morning sickness, or it doesn't kick in until later. Hang in there.

DS went really well at the dentist. She was amazing, and although it cost $300shock, she was truly amazing with him and he experienced no discomfort and smiled all the way through and sat still.Amazing. Fortunately I will get some money back from our insurance company, I have to send off the receipt.

littlepinkfizz Wed 17-Oct-12 12:32:17

Wow gum 5 kids! If I manage to get a BFP, this will be my 5th( 2nd with DP). He is really keen, but 50 and I do worry...

notsoold Wed 17-Oct-12 15:49:15

golden , I can certainly do the OPKs like that...I have the smilyes ones and always thought (after reading loads of threads ) that you had to go without (loo,water etc) for hours...so thanks hun!! smile

hopeful my heart goes to you as I love my sleep. But they do lean fast dont't they? We never co slept but most of my relatives (vast numbers as they are) did and do and seems to be a relaxed way of doing things!!!They always use the vast amount of activities-to get them tired- , the idea of ownership (new personal blanket etc) and off the kids went!!!

pink your DH is younger than mine (53 but who is counting?) I always worry more my side (being 41) and get told off by my relatives (yet again) as aunties, cousins etc all had children until late forties (48 is the latest). but I worry if might not go like that for me... (also at 48 my boobs are going to be so wrinkly that no way will I be able to breatfeed in public smile smile)

Tina that is excellent! Not everybody has symptoms. I didn't at all and the result is a gorgeous (and strong willed) 18years old DD!!! but to say to you to not worry is not going to work so here is my virtual hand!!!

JBird it is really difficult , I totally agree...I am still working and retraining as a Beauty therapist. I went to a beauty fair and boy did I feel old near the 17/18yo...but I totally second what golden told you. smile

Well , you all gave me another boost. I can go without water or loo for 2 hours and today at 5pm I will have a meeting with Mr Smiley !!!! All this sex for a baby is a killer...smile but could be worse I suppose ;)

hopefulgum Wed 17-Oct-12 23:37:19

notsoold, I know what you mean "All this sex for a baby is a killer...smile but could be worse I suppose ;)", but it will totally be worth it in the end,won't it. I know with my DS, I was very concerned that I wouldn't get pregnant (I was 41 and DH had to have a vasectomy reversal), and it took 7 months of ttc (I realise now, that was very quick), but by the time I got the BFP, I was glad not to have to have sex again for some timegrin

It is very heart-warming to hear that many of your relatives had babies in their late 40's. I do think it is possible, it is just that it can take a long time to get the right egg and sperm together. I still have faith that it could happen for me.

It probably sound a bit (or a lot) greedy that I want a 6th child, but for me it would be the icing on the cake. I just have a feeling I am meant to have 6 kids and have felt this way for ages. But if it doesn't happen, at least I know I really did give it my best shot (over three years of trying with a DH who isn't keen,just lazywink).

Golden, how are you going with the clomid - feeling okay? You must be coming up to ovulation soon?

DS slept better last night,thank goodness, I only got up to him twice and then he came in at 5.15, which isn't too bad. I am an early riser, so I didn't mind. I know he'll get better at this,and we'll be glad we persevered.

Well, I need to go and enter my temperature into fertility friend and dream about popping a + test on there in about a week's time.smileWouldn't that be lovely?

TinaO99 Thu 18-Oct-12 09:32:45

thanks notsoold (and everyone else) I've read loads of stuff from women who didn't have symptoms, I'm trying not to worry but I guess I'm basing this pregnancy on my previous experiences which always involved a certain set of symptoms but this one is different in so many ways I guess I shouldn't be surprised my symptoms are different too!

I did another test this morning to reassure myself and it still said 3+ weeks on it so I shouldn't be worrying so much! I tell you something my moods are vicious at the moment (maybe that is a symptom!!) dh went out with work last night, first time in ages and because he wasn't home before 11pm when i was shattered and needed to sleep I almost had to restrain myself from wrapping a frying pan around his head, bless him he got on the last bus at 12 and cam home even though everyone else was still out - did I feel bad...no!!!

goldengirl71 Thu 18-Oct-12 12:39:29

Fucking hell (sorry for the profanity) I've had enough! Just got back from the dentist who said he wasn't at all surprised that I haven't fallen pregnant with all the infection coursing round my body - not to mention the ever-crumbling mercury I'm ingesting - from this damned infected tooth. This same tooth was first problematic back in January but I had just got my BFP and the dentist wouldn't touch it due to the amount of x-rays and work required but told me to return when I had had the baby. So...the first thing he said was 'congratulations! Did you have a boy or a girl?' sad

He needs to extract the offending tooth next Thursday and on the same day needs to perform root canal work on another tooth which broke off the other day whilst eating treacle toffee. He has given me antibiotics for the next five days to make the infection manageable. He asked me (actually ^asked me^) not to ttc until he has finished all the work next Thursday (I ovulate Tuesday). He can piss off. I am upset, though, that he may be right regarding my immume system being shattered with infection coursing, unchecked, through my body for months. Could this have affected my ability to conceive?

So..I am on antibiotics and will undergo extensive trauma next week (his words, not mine). Not holding out much hope for a baby this cycle, then sad

JBrd Thu 18-Oct-12 14:51:41

Sorry to hear that you've got yet another thing to deal with, golden! When it rains, it pours, doesn't it? But the dentist might be right, any infection puts a lot of strain on your body and immune system, and having one could well contribute to problems conceiving. So sorting this out could really give conception a boost.

A friend of mine had the problem that her body was so geared up on the immune defense front that it kept fighting off her DH's sperm as intruders, making ttc very difficult for them.
Who knows? I really think that there are still so many dark areas and unknowns when it comes to the 'science' of conception. Probably because it's actually quite difficult to find volunteers to do research on grin

So fertility friend today confirmed what I suspected - apparently I ovulated on Monday. The one day since my positive OPK that we didn't dtd, grrrrrr - because I was too shattered that day angry. Dtd Sunday and Tuesday, though, so what are my odds...?

Entering another two-week-wait, sigh...

goldengirl71 Thu 18-Oct-12 16:05:16

JBrd, I reckon if you got your smiley OPK on the Saturday you ovulated really early on Monday morning, meaning Sunday's sperm was perfectly placed for a juicy mating sesh. Good luck.

CaliBee Thu 18-Oct-12 17:50:11

I have to admit that I feel a little bit embarrassed to admit on here that I still love the " baby making sex". I guess my sex drive has always been high, and I still enjoy it almost everyday blush
Tina it sounds to me like you do maybe have a few symtpoms albeit subtle ones. I remember doing 12 tests when I realised I may be pregnant with my eldest daughter....however at the tender age of just 19 I think I was probably wishing and hoping that they were wrong. How things change hey?? Bizaare how I spent the last 15 years (since my son) frantically trying not to become pregnant and now all this.
JBrd I agree with our Golden...I think your Sunday Sex will have given you as good a chance as any. Fingers crossed for you.
Raaa Golden I bet you're peed off with the timing of that one.? I can understand you saying "sod it" about putting off ttc.
I was reading Zita Wests book earlier and was really interested to read that drinking alcohol is considered particularly bad in the 5 days prior to ovulation. Last month my temps showed ovulation whilst at Nottinghill Carnival where I shamefacedly admit I got completely and utterley pickled.....no wonder my progesterone result last cycle was an unhealthily low (12.7) the poor eggy probably drowned blush

littlepinkfizz Thu 18-Oct-12 21:15:05

Poor golden but maybe the infection explains your rising temp. As jbrd said, it could well give your chances a real boost! It initially sounds like bad news but I'd be very positive about it! Keep shagging! grin

I got a smiley last month on cd 17. Does that mean I'm likely to get a smiley that day this cycle also? AF came 13 days after the smiley. Not sure what all this means. When should we be Dtd?

hopefulgum Thu 18-Oct-12 23:42:42

Golden, honey I am so sorry this is happening to you, it really sucks. But I think ultimately it may help you conceive if you can sort it all out. Did the dentist say why you shouldn't ttc this cycle? If you are aware of any risks, then you can make an educated decision about whether to go ahead and ttc. Like you,I would probably say "sod it" and continue ttc.

pinkfizz, It is hard to say when you'll ovulate this month, so many things can change the O date. Have you always had a 30 day cycle? If you have, then it is likely you'll ovulate around day 17 again, so you should probably start the shagging in earnest around day 12,every other day til you get a smiley face again,then every chance you can getgrin.

Feel good story for you.A colleague of mine told the story of how shocked and horrified her sister was to find out she was pregnant at age 42, 16 years after her last baby! She had a healthy little girl and is besotted, but apparently had a terrible time accepting that she actually could get pregnant. Lucky woman!

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