Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

(1000 Posts)
goldengirl71 Thu 11-Oct-12 21:51:58

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

notsoold Sun 02-Dec-12 00:19:38

Thanks hopeful ...smile
DH is laughing that I am poas for Britain, but because I would expect my period on the 4th- I have long cycles...32 days- I can not believe it yet.
I am 41 and dh is 53. Gosh that may sound old but we are not ( that is what I tell myself anyway smile) We have a DD 18 already in her own place and DS 13 and up to last Xmas we could not afford another dc and resigned ourselves with that.
But we are financially secure now ( well as much as anyone can be) and as my gp suggested a rest from mirena ( after 2 consecutive mirenas) we decided to try.
I fell pregnant with 6 weeks but had a miscarriage at 12 weeks.( last June)
We were told not to worry but DH and I really thought that maybe that was it.
Tried ov kits and never got a smiley and that got me worried sad
Also dtd is not as frequently as during school holidays and teens are such a good deterrent smile
Last month I thought that maybe mn was stressing me a bit and vowed to take a month out and only check once a week.
Also I started taking agnus castus hoping it would help to conceive but also to help my heavy periods....
And now I am here poas and praying this is a sticky one....

I am sorry for your DH..so stressful the whole situation sad and I fully understand a child to offer comfort to one's heart..my older brother was a ( planned by my mum) plaster for my dad's heart as he lost his own mum and money as well....to this day the plaster( my brother) is a big comfort to my daddy....smile

CaliBee Sun 02-Dec-12 18:38:51

Big hugs to irish.....I lost my Dad very suddenly (brain haemmorhage) nearly 11 years ago. I still feel a sense of shock when I let my mind wonder to events of that day.
Whoop...congrats to notsoold...dont be a stranger now.
hopeful....I see a complete cycle of life in your story. Its how the world turns. In a really odd sort of way I'm glad we lost Dad as we did. I couldnt have stood to have seen him become ill and reliant upon others for care....my thoughts are with you.
So DP is back on train ooop north as I write. I dropped him at the station amidst much snot and tears. It has been a truly wonderful weekend together though,.....the countdown to his xmas leave begins now. He has a wickedly unkind 3 night exercise to get through this week so I wont even be able to talk to him from Tuesday until Friday. They have to sleep out in the open with no shelter just sleeping bags. Bless.....

hopefulgum Sun 02-Dec-12 22:36:31

Calibee, so pleased you had a lovely weekend with your DP. DId you have a scan and did you ovulate? Your timing would have been perfect. I do hope you will get the ultimate Christmas present (BFPgrin).

I still haven't ovulated, but it must be imminent, my breasts are starting to feel a little tender, which they sometimes do just before O. I still haven't had a positive opk, perhaps today.

Deige, the weekend has passed in Australia, and no mention of the bistro.Where are you? What is going on???

Calibee, I know that a parent suddenly passing must be very shocking, but in some ways I wish DH didn't have to see his parents getting steadily worse as the weeks pass. I know it is early days since MIL had the stroke, but it is hard to believe she will ever be her old self again. I have heard that some people do spring back, and I hope she does, but seeing how vulnerable DH's parents are right now is very confronting.

Well, nothing else to report here.
Hope everyone is well and that... follicles are developing, eggs are aripening,sperm swimming like the Aussies wink,meeting juicy eggs, embryos are implanting, ba-bies agrowing, and an ea-sy birth for us all...All sung to the 12 days of Christmas tunehmm. Perhaps Hopefulgum is not so anti-Christmas after all?

hopefulgum Sun 02-Dec-12 22:43:43

P.S. Just wondering how everyone will handle Christmas parties etc, with alcohol? I know the preggy ones won't be drinking, but what about everyone ttc or on the tww? Will you drink? Will you not drink,and what will be your excuse?

When we were out on Saturday, I was offered a glass of champagne and I declined, then I was asked by a woman,"are you pregnant again?". I said,"No, but why does me not drinking mean I am pregnant? Can't I just not want a drink?" (We have such a HUGE drinking culture in Australia, the non-drinkers are oddities) She replied,"Yeah, but last time you weren't drinking, you were pregnant." So I told her I just didn't feel like it on that day.

I have the odd drink here and there, but in the lead up to Christmas I'll be in the tww and I really don't want to drink.

What will be your best excuses???

Mine: I'm driving
I'm on a detox/diet/liver cleanse
I'm hungover
My liver count is too high, doctor's orders
My naturopath said,"no alcohol while taking those herbs"
If I have a drink I'll fall asleep

notsoold Sun 02-Dec-12 23:09:58

I am the driver
Under the weather..

Overall I don't have to worry about excuses re drink, but if I am really pregnant I will need a excuse so not to play rough with the kids.... They like really rough play (rugby and a kind pf dodgeball) and as the only tomboy I am always on call...so re that I thought of saying that I am under the weathersmile

CaliBee Mon 03-Dec-12 07:32:37

hopeful...I know exactly what you are saying. Losing Dad so suddenly caused shock of which (if I'm honest) I still feel, but to watch him go down hill and lose his dignity would have been just terrible. He was a very proud man.
On a lighter note, my scan on Friday looked like the follicles (there were two) were collapsing ....so either about to, or just ovulate(d). I'm not sure the timing was great with DP not home until the evening but the reunion was fantastic wink. Temps have hiked from Saturday so its looking like ovulation occured Friday sometime. I'm trying to be positive and thinking that it is an excellent set up for his time off at xmas. I'm on the countdown now until he gets off on either 19th or 21st December.
Ps...I love the song grin

Diege Mon 03-Dec-12 09:49:16

Hello! I am here, with cold buffet in lieu of hot bistro on Friday blush. We have been the House of Sick last week, everyone (bar me) getting the lurghy and poor ds2 taking the brunt of it. To top it all had a ridiculously early af (9dpo hmm) that is still going strong now.
Everything good though. Have got most of the dcs presents (when I say got I mean I'm waiting on a stupendous Amazon order grin) and had a lovely weekend, seeing a friend on the Saturday and taking the dds xmas shopping on the Sunday.
Calibee that sounds great timing, how exciting! HOw long will dp get off over xmas? If not lucky this month will you be able to have a more relaxed couple of days later this month?
Irish I am so sorry to hear your very sad news sad. I hope you have lots of support around you, and hope to see you back here soon when you are able xxx
Gum I don't drink anyway really, other than the odd glass of champagne, so never have needed to make my excuses. I was googling my old 'friend' Marilyn Glenville the other day to see what shocking prices she charges for her supplements and saw that she said even one cup of coffee (ref to the caffeine) a day halved your chances of conceiving shock Might have to give that one some thought as, after having cut it out completely a few years ago, the habit has been creeping back in. Am also going to start my agnus castus again as an 8 day LP just won't do!
Many congrats notsoold that's lovely news x
Hi Remnant, Isabeller smile
Day in lieu today after working last sat so planning on doing not much at all, other than washing, ironing, etc etc..

notsoold Mon 03-Dec-12 14:43:55

irish thinking of you xxx
diege thanks !!! I have to keep saying that, because I am (after mc) such a pessimist!!! 8days LP i rather short

notsoold Mon 03-Dec-12 14:44:29

sorry...is rather short! Does agnus castus work fast for you??

Diege Mon 03-Dec-12 15:44:37

Yes I agree, never had one so short! Before ds2 my LP was about 9 days but increased it to 11/12 with agnus castus. Will def be trying that again.
Very angry as my precious day off has resulted in a no show from the Asda van which should have been here 12-2 hmm. Phonecalls have yielded no joy and am awaiting a new slot of 4 to 4.30...

CaliBee Mon 03-Dec-12 17:36:12

Raaaaa diege that is my pet hate....waiting for people/things that don't turn up. DP is home for 2 weeks at xmas. Its considered the "mid course break " which is usually taken at week 12, although it will be week 9 for them. I guess it fits in better. I dont envy him today....he sent me pictures from his room window....they have snow in Yorkshire!!!!! Bad news about af...
What does agnus castus do exactly...heard about it but not really sure of its action??

Diege Mon 03-Dec-12 17:43:55

Hi Calibee smile. I'm guessing some point during the 2 weeks dp is at home will be ovulation time? (that's assuming you;re not pregnant already grin) Re: agnus castus it works by regulating hormones and can in effect lengthen the luteal phase through encouraging ovulation to occur at the middle of the cycle. I think that's how it works anyway - did the trick for me grin

CaliBee Mon 03-Dec-12 18:16:20

Ahhhh I see....so in a much more "natural" way its a little like clomid then?? Last cycle (natural) I ovulated at cd32 and the clomid brought it down to cd16 for me this time. My usual LP is 13-14 days so assuming I react the same to the clomid next cycle then yes...bang on for xmas/new year. grin. I daren't even mention what you said...you know what I mean the P word, its almost like it jinxes it. Darn me and my superstitious mind lol.
My delightful dog was (I though being lovely and affectionate but instead just belched in my face) Gak!!!!

Diege Mon 03-Dec-12 19:07:50

Yes, that's right - 'nature's clomid' I think Gum has heard it referred to as?
grin at your dog!

lotsofcheese Mon 03-Dec-12 19:29:32

Just a wee hello from me - sending sympathies to irish - also thinking today was tina's scan?

Had my amnio today, a big relief to have it over & hopefully the results will be reassuring.

Sending positive vibes for festive BFP's to you all!

CaliBee Mon 03-Dec-12 19:37:18

Fingers crossed for the amnio results cheese....how many weeks along are you now?

MrMia and I are excited, relieved, and proud to announce the safe and uneventful arrival of Finn at 9.39am this morning by elective c-section. We both couldn't help but cry at the sight of him after all the hopes and worries of these past nine months.

Upon his emergence into the world, Finn immediately showed similarities to his big sister, with a series of loud and indignant yells. He also then weed on the paediatrician, not once, but twice as she checked him over! wink

MrMia has happily held Finn most of the day, with a look of utmost content on his face. Finn is in my arms right now, peeping up at me sleepily. We can't believe he is finally here.

Thank you Mia darling, for this most amazing gift of happiness.

And thank you all, for the hand-holding. You are all brilliant. grin And keep the faith on your dreams...

CaliBee Mon 03-Dec-12 19:45:31

Thats fantastic news miaandfinnsmummy ....congratulations.I'm made up for you both xxx

Isabeller Mon 03-Dec-12 19:57:40

Hi brave and determined people. Good luck for amnio cheese and anyone else facing tests of any sort.

Mum is still stable in hospital which is a relief as I'm now on residential care duty with DPs Mum for a week. Poor soul, the carer handing over to me said she'd had some D&V last week and sure enough another bout of D yesterday so no daycentre this week. I am washing my hands as if my life depended on it smile. Thankfully she doesn't seem unwell in herself so I'm hoping she is on the mend and we can avoid GP etc.

A tiny visiting newborn helped me feel more confident that despite ancientness I would be able to cope if we are lucky enough to have successful treatment as quite honestly I think it would be much easier than looking after DPs Mum. If I have to do both at the same time though yikes confused.

Isabeller Mon 03-Dec-12 19:59:42

Congratulations congratulations!! I am so happy for you, thank you for such lovely news miaandfinnsmummy xx

remnant Mon 03-Dec-12 20:21:31

notsoold, congratulations! grin fingers crossed

gum, did you find an advent calendar? ours is going down quite well. That's about as far as christmas goes here. We'll have a work do, and a nursery do, and some guests on the day, That'll be it though. No-one is surprised if I don't drink anyway, even before I took up breastfeeding. Your picnic location looked fantastic - about as far as you can get from our wintery london. Even that has it's moments though. Also wanted to ask about the melanoma if you don't mind. Has your FIL been through surgery, what happened with that?

calibee, glad you had a good weekend.

diege, re coffee - that seems to be my blind spot blush. I've read that I should avoid it in 2ww but I manage to forget every day. I manage to limit myself to two of three. even during my last pregnancy I think I had two a day. oh dear sad. Hope your delivery has turned up by now btw

I'm on day 20 of a 24-28 day cycle. I had a dream last night about constant knicker checking which ended with the arrival of AF and a lecture from someone about completely missing my fertile window

I'm going to have to find a new distraction for the rest of the week at least...

remnant Mon 03-Dec-12 20:24:47

oh and that's wonderful news miasmum
fingers crossed for your results lotsofcheese, can I ask why you chose amnio over cvs?

hopefulgum Mon 03-Dec-12 23:01:48

Congratulations Miasmummy on the safe arrival of Finn.thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
What wonderful news!

Cheese,glad all is going well with the pregnancy. Will you find out the sex of your babe with the amnio results?When will you hear?

Deige, sorry about AF. Yes, I think Agnus Castus (also known as Vitex and Chasteberry {as it was used to calm down monks in the bollocks region,I have heard})will help sort out cycles if they are too long or too short. I'm not taking it at present because I am taking Red clover isoflavones - another nature's clomid,so don't want to take both together.My cycle length is good, but I thought the red clover may help boost estrogen and consequently give a nice strong ovulation. I took red clover the month before I fell pregnant with my DS. Fingers crossed it does the trick. I still haven't had a + opk, but I suspect the almost positive I got yesterday might have been + if I'd waited longer and hadn't drunk so much water. I did another one this morning which is also almost positive, which either means I have already surged,or perhaps will later, so I'll check again this evening after holding my pee for a bit. If it is lighter I'll suspect I had the surge during the night. We've had plenty of SWI, so we'll see what happens. I took my temperature this morning but it was a bit high, I don't think I Oed yesterday,but possibly through the night, or taking your temp after sex will possibly drive it up hmm

Deige, I have heard conflicting info about caffeine. I am surprised that it could lower fertility so much, however,we are up against it in our forties so I suppose it can't hurt to tone it down. However I heard(on another forum for over 40's ttc) that tea was very good for fertility. I have heard about green tea being good, but this was about black tea. I do drink a lot of both black and green tea, but hope that it isn't too much caffeine. I should probably throw in a few more herbal teas during the day.

Remnant, I haven't done anything about the advent calender, but I think I will today.Every morning DS asks "how many days til Christmas?", so I know I should.I might get a chance to shop today. Depends how busy I am at work...smile

My FIL has had surgery to remove a cancer from his face, now they want him to have 6 weeks of Radiation therapy. This is just another thing for him to contend with. Last year he was seriously ill with pancreatitis, which at first they thought was cancer and told him he had very limited time. My Dh got that news on the day of my ERPC after my second miscarriage. That was a truly crappy day.sadHowever,it turns out the diagnosis was wrong and he had an autoimmune condition. He also had a DVT, so is being treated for that,and other issues too. Along with DH's mum having a stroke the two of them are on a mutitude of drugs and need help remembering to take them. It is just awful, and it inspires me to be very careful with my lifestyle - eating well and exercising-because I hate the thought of ending up like that.

Isabeller, you are a saint to look after your MIL like that. I just don't think I could do it. What an angel you are.

Calibee, it sounds like you had perfect timing. I hope your eggs were waiting with outstretched arms.

It is that time of the morning again, 7am, so I must eat something and dress myself for the workday. Double period of year 8 cooking today...Argh...they are the bane of my life angry

hopefulgum Mon 03-Dec-12 23:04:36

p.s. Any news Tina???

remnant Mon 03-Dec-12 23:24:40

blimey gum, I was just thinking about how many members of my family have been successfully treated for melanoma so long ago it's all water under the bridge now. Obviously it's a different situation for your FIL if there's more than one illness and MIL is also suffering. Sorry!

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