Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

(993 Posts)
RainboxFX Thu 11-Oct-12 09:22:12

A shiny new thread in memory of our angels. To bring us all BFPs, sticky beans and healthy happy Rainbows.

Ellypoo Sat 01-Dec-12 10:13:19

Meant to say, the rainbows were obviously a sign for you!!! How far along are you, do you think?

rainbox congratulations! Don't worry about upsetting other people, we all understand!

kleine so sorry! X

blizy Sat 01-Dec-12 10:40:42

Congratulations rainbox! So happy for you x

I am now on cd 14 and still no af, just had another bfn. Wtf is going on?

Rainbox ah that is just lovely news, you have made my day grin I did wonder when you were posting about dauphinoise and tattie scones yesterday.... what I neglected to say when I said I'd once had just roast potatoes for lunch was that that was when I was about 5 weeks pg with Freya grin Congratulations!!

blizy am I right you mean 14dpo? Am hoping for you. A long time ago (whilst ttc Bobbie) I came across these stats:
"The percentages of those who get their BFPs by set dpo are as follows:
10dpo=35%
11dpo=51%
12dpo=62%
13dpo=68%
14dpo=74%
15dpo=80%
16dpo=88%
17dpo=92%
and there are some who have not got their BFP until 21dpo"
So inconclusive BFNs at 14dpo can still be very normal even if pg. Fingers crossed xx How long is your LP usually?

blizy Sat 01-Dec-12 15:32:25

Thanks for that split, I have no idea when I ov as I forgot to buy sticks for my cbfm. But going by my previous cycles I should have ov around cd 14/16 so af was due 19th nov. I,don't know what is going on, I'm a bit confused. This is the longest my cycle has ever been. Oh, my LP is normally 14 days. confused

blizy Sat 01-Dec-12 15:54:36

Hmm, I have just done some googling and think I may be the fluoxetine ad's messing with my cycle. I will be making a dr appointment ASAP!

RainboxFX Sat 01-Dec-12 20:24:43

Blizy really thinking about you. Last cycle I was 21 days late! Drove me up the wall! I have been taking my temperature each morning as well, it can be reassuring as it can tell you when you have ovulated and I know I felt more in control knowing roughly what was going on. A Basal Body Thermometer is about a fiver from Amazon so much cheaper than Clearblue sticks too! Thinking about you, hope the Dr helps.

Split yeah, the potato thing made a lot more sense this morning! I am not normally that carb mad! [bgrin]

Thank for for the congrats too. I think I would be dated as about 4 weeks along. So want to be excited and pleased, and I am! But mostly terrified. Am very aware anything can happy. But today, yes, I am pregnant. Visited Dexter today and told him, which seemed like the right thing to do.

Thinking of us all xx

Oh rainbox I love this news!! Congratulations my lovely - I know it's also a worrying time but as you said 'Today you are pregnant' Oh I have everything crossed for an uneventful 9 months for you my friend xx

Thinking of you lovely Kleine how are you doing? You must be so sad and disappointed, I hope you aren't also in too much physical pain xx

Hmmm Blizy that is a puzzle, fxxxxxx that its what we all hope for you and not the ad's mucking about with your cycle

Miasmummy I know you are keeping your actual date quiet but wanted to gently say I am thinking of you a lot and cannot wait for your birth story xxx

Little Holly is getting a little better each day, horrid horrid cough still though and her sleeping has gone totally to pot but we'll get there!

Waves and love to all - sorry not to properly name check xxx

AngelGeorgie Sat 01-Dec-12 23:37:40

Blizy so want it to be a good outcome for u ... Xxxx
Rainbox huge congrats xxx remember my mantra??? Xx
Little9 12 weeks wow? Good luck Friday.
Elly is your next scan Thursday? Hope u re ok? Xx
Miasmum xxxx
Hi all ; we re good had a lovely birthday today , lots of nice presents, cards & messages. Good night last night though quite tiddly so paying for it today!!!!been out for tea earlier with my mum, dad, Ant & Phebs then chilled . The other half already set off for Bruges ( sis, BIL, & his family) after calling in for a cuppa earlier today. We re off tomorrow eek ... Can t wait ... I love it... Xxx
Oh hope Holly is ok Wtw ??
Right, off for my beauty sleep in preparation for more celebrations!!!
Work ... Who needs it??? Xxx

Little9 Sun 02-Dec-12 09:45:11

Yay, Rainbox. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! So pleased for you. Welcome to the rollercoaster!! Here for handholding should you need it.

Thanks Angel. Glad you had a good birthday.

And thanks to Elly. You're quite right. My DH stated yesterday that even if I had a scan everyday I would still be worrying! I guess it's just because I feel a bit in limbo land at the moment as I can't feel anything moving yet and it is probably too early to hear heartbeat so just...waiting! Spotting seems to be easing a bit so hopefully that is a good sign. Only 4 days to go!! Fingers and anything else I can cross!! Today I am pregnant!!

WTW - so glad Holly is getting better. Must be a relief.

Big hugs and thinking of you Kleine and fan.

Hello to everyone I have missed. The sun is shining here even though it is still freezing. Off to walk the mutts. Take care everyone, xx

How are you today rainbox? Sinking in?? grin

Glad you've had a great birthday weekend angel, sounds packed with stuff!

little your DH is right I feel. Worrying is inevitable, just enjoy any moments where the hope and excitement outweighs the fear. I was very scared to "believe" in my pregnancy, I thought I could stay emotionally distant and thus protect myself. Eventually I realised I was just conning myself about managing to stay detatched, and that actually I'd rather bond with the bump and have lovely memories of it whatever the outcome was going to be. I know with Bobbie who I lost, I have lovely memories of talking to her, sharing her scan pics with family, dreaming of the future, being excited with DH etc. Even though she didn't make it home to us, and I was and continue to be so gutted and heartbroken I am so GLAD that I had properly engaged with her whilst I had her. So I made an effort to do the same with Freya despite all the fear. So hoping your scan will bring good news xx

little the worrying never stops! Once you get that BFP, you'll never stop, trust me!
L has been throwing up her milk all evening, I hope she settles during the night.

Little9 Mon 03-Dec-12 18:28:43

I think I am coming round to your way of thinking Spilt. Today, for some unknown reason, I don't feel quite so worried. In fact dare I say I feel a little excited about seeing the little bean again!! Hope I don't regret saying that.

* Blue* - Hope L is better today. Has she managed to keep any milk down since yesterday?

Hello to everyone. grin

Thanks little she was much better during the night luckily! Parents have left this morning, tomorrow my brother and his boyfriend arrive! Been busy days, feel quite tired!

MrMia and I are excited, relieved, and proud to announce the safe and uneventful arrival of Finn at 9.39am this morning by elective c-section. We both couldn't help but cry at the sight of him after all the hopes and worries of these past nine months.

Upon his emergence into the world, Finn immediately showed similarities to his big sister, with a series of loud and indignant yells. He also then weed on the paediatrician not once but twice as she checked him over! wink

While Finn has dark hair, his face is very like Mia's own when she was born. And like her, he is already proving to be enthusiastic about his food and when awake, very interested in the world around him.

MrMia has happily held Finn most of the day, with a look of utmost content on his face. We can't believe Finn is finally here.

Thank you Mia darling, for this most amazing gift of happiness.

And thank you all, for the hand-holding. You are all brilliant. grin

Congratulations! So happy for you all! Mia will be one proud big sister! Enjoy!

Ellypoo Mon 03-Dec-12 19:49:46

Congratulations mias, such lovely news xxx

It must be lovely to see similarities between him and his beautiful big sister xxx

So so happy for you and MrMia xx

blizy Mon 03-Dec-12 20:02:17

So happy for you mias! I love the name Finn, what weight is he? I hope you are recovering after the section, sending my love to the three of you and lots of floaty hugs up to Mia. X

Babyh200 Mon 03-Dec-12 21:42:53

Evening all:

Miasmummy: Congratulations to you and Mr Mia on the birth of your beautiful son and brother to angel Mia. So glad he is finally here can't wait to see photos xxxxx

Rainbox: So apt you have received your BFP on the thread that you started smile so pleased for you and Mr Rainbox xxxxxxx

Blue: I hope you get a good sleep tonight after 'L's sickness yesterday xx

Elly: Tough times approaching Nancy's birthday, thinking of you xxxxxx

Angel: Glad you had a lovely birthday, also that the cross has finally come off the front door and Phebs is back to good health xxxxxxx

Blizy: It's so awful when your cycle plays up. Those are the months that I hate the most because you can't help but hope............I knew I wasn't pregnant but secretly I kept praying for a miracle in the end you just feel completely deflated. I hope that you either get a BFP or your AF arrives soon xx

More below to avoid chewed posts ha ha

Babyh200 Mon 03-Dec-12 22:37:18

Little: 'TODAY YOU ARE PREGNANT' : ) hope your still feeling a little bit excited today. Is it 3 days until your scan? Try not to worry xxxxxx

Wtw: Hope Holly is recovering and shaking that cough off. When they're not well they seem to pick up all kinds don't they! Big hugs after a rubbish few weeks for you xxxxxx

Split: Hello lovely lady, your post yesterday struck a cord with me. Thank you for reminding me in your post to Little about all the good times that come with pregnancy. I sometimes feel like 'A' s death has overshadowed my memories of anything happy and I don't want to feel like that's all his legacy has left sad xxxxx

Kliene: If your reading, I hope your not in pain and managing to cope with all this after a truly shit year. No wise words from me afraid......I wish I had some!
Just sending a GREAT BIG virtual hug your way and offering my hand holding services if needed! xxxxxxxxxx

AFM: Bit of a strange few weeks......lots of up and downs, well more downs TBH. Five whole months tomorrow since we lost our beautiful son. So many hope and dreams last Christmas and here we are with nothing wondering why? Why us? Still no real answers and I know we may never get any. I have made any appointment with my GP last week and seeing her this Wednesday to try and get some answers in relation to the letter we received from the consultant. I haven't been able to face it until now but me and my DH feel like we need some answers to the possible 5 weeks discrepancy in dates. The scan originally put me pregnant on 8/10/2012 but the consultant has stated in her correspondence that she now believes that I conceived 'A' around the 27/10/2012 ( which would have given me a BFP around 2weeks later). However, my DH and I remember being really excited about our secret just before Halloween and I saw my GP who referred me to the midwife on 30/10/2012 so it was therefore impossible that he was only conceived then. She then goes on to say that the dating scan is accurate within 5 days? We feel like we need to know the date of his gestation when he died because she would then be saying that our baby he was only 34 weeks or less when he passed? Would he be nearly 9lbs then? I don't know why I'm even considering that he wasn't full term but when you see it own paper you start to doubt yourself don't you. I don't know how to get out of this black hole I'm falling down, the longer I have no rainbow baby to look forward to the more depressed I become. My hair is falling out in big clumps so its no wonder I can't get pregnant. It's a vicious circle and I know I need to slap on a brave face for the kids with Christmas approaching. It's also pissing me off that people seem to expect us to have moved on! ( yes.....haven't we MOVED On yet....WTF is all that about) oh and I was told some of my work colleagues keep asking when I'm coming back to work......what a cheek I'm still on maternity leave but obviously that's not deserved because my baby is dead!!!! Also my boss hasn't even had the courtesy to call me despite the fact he's been gone 5 months tomorrow........shame on him, I'm therefore declining the invitation to the christmas party. (via a text from another of my colleagues not my boss) Rant over sorry ladies just needed to let off some steam.

love to all xxxxxxxxxx

Babyh200 Mon 03-Dec-12 22:59:04

Missamel: If I recall correctly you will be travelling to Toronto soon. Good luck with the appointment......thinking of you and your little angel Blake xxxx

Bartlett: sorry I didn't introduce myself properly when you 1st joined. Sorry for your loss and congratulations on your approaching rainbow baby. Are you around 30 weeks now? Hope these last couple of months fly by for you. I lost my baby boy Adam on 4/7/2012 at 38+4. I attended the hospital after I became concerned about reduced movements but he was already gone when we got there.

Greengoose: how are the boys? Hope they are getting excited with Christmas around the corner. Hope your ok lovely lady xxxx

Fan: Sending big hugs xxxxx

Waves to anyone I've missed xxxx

RainboxFX Tue 04-Dec-12 09:03:59

Mias such wonderful news! SO pleased to hear about baby Finn's safe arrival. What a lovely name for a precious brother of a special girl. Thinking about you and your babies, sending love.

Blizy How are things with you? Keeping everything crossed.

WTW Hope Holly keeps getting better, poor little mite.

Angel Thank you. Your mantra is getting me through each day! Today I am pregnant, and nothing can change that. Glad you had a good birthday, hope you have a wonderful time in Bruges! Typing that makes me laugh, it's my favourite movie grin

Little is it your scan today? Thinking about you and hoping all is well. It is terrifying though! I don't think I have slept well since Saturday!

Spilt Thank you. Your words have really touched me today. You are totally right, losing Dex broke our hearts and we will never be the same. But I can't imagine not having bonded with him while he was a bump, or planning the future. It is such early days for me, but this is our pregnancy and I love him or her. IF that breaks my heart all over again, so be it. I can't help how I feel though and I will do my best to stop fighting it! Still hasn't really sunk in though!

Blue that does sound like a houseful! Hope both little misses are enjoying the attention, and L is feeling better.

BabyH I'm so sorry you have having such a tough time. A 5 week descrepency sounds like an awful lot, no wonder you need answers. At least you have the record of your doctors appointment around Halloween, I wish I had better advice but I don't really know how challenging the NHS works though sad Of course you haven't moved on, I hate it when people say that. We just have to learn how to live with our losses because we have no choice.

I am still a massive bag of nerves. Have a doctors appointment Thursday morning when I will be 6 weeks by doctors dates and 5 weeks by my own. I have been getting pain and bloating so my current fear is ectopic pregnancy. I just hope the doctor will take me seriously and be sympathetic, and not dismiss me as hysterical! Also not sure when to tell work. Again, such early days, and anything can happen, but I do have to do a fair amount of heavy lifting and I am a bit concerned. like 14-18kg boxes? My current plan is split anything heavy into multiple boxes and tell my boss after christmas. He is going to kill me, I have only been back a month and there are only two of us in the office.

Lots of people being quiet lately. Hope all is well, thinking about all of us. xx

Mias CONGRATULATIONS!! Saw the pic on FB, I am so happy for you all grin, gorgeous baby, gorgeous name xxx

KleinePoppet Tue 04-Dec-12 10:10:19

Oh, I'm very glad I popped my head in this morning...

mias I am just beyond thrilled for you all - huge congratulations, and a massive welcome to gorgeous baby Finn (I saw spilt's post and just had a quick look on FB - he truly is gorgeous - those chubby cheeks!!). I can't imagine what a turmoil of emotions it must all be, greeting and loving Mia's baby brother, without Mia being there too... but I am so glad that Finn is safely in your arms, and that he shares some Mia-characteristics smile I am so pleased for you all xxx

rainbox also congratulations to you my dear! What lovely news. I hope so very hard that the pregnancy will go completely smoothly; you more than deserve your rainbow baby.

babyh it sounds like you need some huge hugs... please considered yourself hugged by me, I'm so sorry that things are so rough. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

blizy that sounds so stressful. I just hope that your cycle sorts itself out without needing to change the ADs or anything. Thinking of you xx

Waves to everyone else...

Things have been pretty rotten here. The MC itself is unproblematic - I'm still bleeding, but it's not been dramatic, and there's been very little pain. I had to be re-scanned yesterday, as the sonographer thought she saw an ovarian cyst last week, but the consultant confirmed that it's just the corpus luteum.
Losing this pregnancy is sad, of course, but we're quite pragmatic people, and understand that such an early loss, in the sixth week, means that it wasn't meant to be. And it did give us hope (and even if most of that hope is now gone, we remain glad that we conceived, having been told it was unlikely). The awfulness has come because this has thrown us straight back into what feels like the very early grief for our beautiful little E. She would have been six months old this coming Sunday, and it currently feels like it was just last week that she died. We had just started to find our feet a little bit... We will feel a little better in a couple of weeks, but for now, we just have to let us ourselves grieve. No other choice, really.
I'm going to take a bit of a backseat on this thread for a bit; I just need to focus on myself and DH for a while, but I'll pop my head in every so often, and hopefully soon I'll be back properly. Lots of love to you all xxx

RainboxFX Tue 04-Dec-12 11:16:43

Love to Kleine and Mr Kleine. This is so unfair, and so close to E's six month anniversery is just rotten. I can't imagine how hard it it, but I am thinking about you all and I care. We all do.

Take care lovely, I wish there was more I could do x

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