Don't want to do a test :(

(110 Posts)
SadPanda Mon 08-Oct-12 16:05:27

I'm so mixed up and don't have anyone to talk to. I feel so sad. sad

My period is definately a week overdue, possibly 3 or more as I can't remember exactly when the last one was. They've become a bit less reliable than they used to be and are so light they barely register anymore. Hormone changes due to my age I think (I'm 40 now).

My husband and I started trying to conceive several years ago but sadly nothing happened. Then as hormones started to change nature became cruel and PMT symtoms became more and more like being pregnant. I spent a small fortune on pregnancy tests each month only for period to start straight after testing. The emotional rollcoaster was killing me, so I got off it and resigned myself to not getting pregnant and to be honest, once I passed 40 I thought the ship had sailed.

Now I feel terrible, can't sleep, get up several times in the night to pee, my breasts are so sore on the outside and achey on the inside. I know I need to do a test but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm kidding myself and I can't cope with the hurt of being back on the rollercoaster. But I want to know. But when it says negative I'll feel like such a fool. Again. sad

It's probably all stress related anyway. sad

crosscupcake Mon 08-Oct-12 16:09:32

Hi there.

We will hold your hand if you want to do a test then come and chat.

You DO need to know my lovely.

I can relate to what you are saying completely, we had given up after 7 miscarriages.
I am sat here now, aged 42, 23 weeks pregnant with the baby we thought we would never have....

Miracles you see....maybe its time for yours..

Go on, do a test.

katiecubs Mon 08-Oct-12 16:13:29

oh gosh you poor thing. i hate testing myself - too much power is held by that little piece of plastic.

in some ways though perhaps its best to just bite the bullet and stop torturing yourself. am really really hoping it's a positive!

piratecat Mon 08-Oct-12 16:17:19

do you have a test to do op? x

SadPanda Mon 08-Oct-12 16:21:05

I'll have to wait till tomorrow now anyway. I'm not in the UK and would only be able to get one from the chemist which is closed now. I feel a bit better just from writing it down and having a bit of a weep.

I always felt like the problem was because of my weight (I was 20 stone). That's why I never sought help, because I was ashamed. I've had help with my eating disorder for a few years but it's only in the last few months that I feel I've finally got control of it and lost 4 stone as a result.

That would be ironic, finally start to get my weight under control and then fall pregnant and put it all on again.

willitbe Mon 08-Oct-12 20:13:16

So sorry that you are going through this stress. When the desire to have a baby has reached the point of acceptance that it won't happen and then our bodies go through hormone changes to fool us, it is horrible.

I am going through similar at the moment, peri-menopause causing my body to think that sore breasts, and irritable bladder are hopeful signs, but it is not the case for me, and it is stirring up all the emotions at the same time.

I think for your sanity you might have to take a test, just so that you know what is going on. Just try to focus on that one test will not necessarily have to put you back on the rollercoaster, it is just one test, buy a cheap test and don't let yourself linger over it.

Well done on the weight loss, that is a fanatastic thing to achieve.

Adviceinscotland Tue 09-Oct-12 07:14:51

Not to give you false hope but wu over weight friend went to the doctors as she was struggling to fall pg and she was told even losing 10% of your body weight increased your chances off falling pg by a huge amount.

Not exactly a scientific study but we were both doing ww and now both pg after losing about 10% each.

Wishing you loads of luck.

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 09:29:25

Oh, I really feel for you. Actually doing the test after years of trying is grim. I remember it so vividly. I lost 4 stone before I got pregnant with DS and didn't put it all back BTW! I hope it's good news.

Good luck OP.

Well done on the weight loss!

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 12:35:23

I'm still sat in my pjs as I'm procrastinating at an alarming rate today blush.

Right. I'm getting dressed and going to the health centre.

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 13:23:05

Good luck, let us know how it goes.cxcccsxz

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 13:23:51

Oops, that was DS at the end there.

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 15:22:15

OMG, there's a second line. It's very faint but definately a second line. OMG. What do I do? Do I get another one and check. I can't type, my hands are shaking.

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 15:23:37

Going over the chemist to get another before they shut. Be right back.

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 15:30:31

WOOHOOO. Fantastic news! If you're me, you buy another five tests, in a variety of line/digital/conception indicator styles. Have you ever had a positive before?

Good luck OP.

beckslovestimmy Tue 09-Oct-12 15:32:44

Really hope it's a positive for you, it sounds promising. With the tests I did the positive line was faint but definitely there, did another to confirm and the line was faint again. About 2 weeks later did a clear blue digi and got the word pregnant. We'd been TTC for a long time, couldn't believe my eyes, had to get husband to double check and checked the instructions over and over. Maybe try a fmu tomorrow for a darker line? So so excited for you xx

Clargo55 Tue 09-Oct-12 15:33:15

Congratulations OP grin

effingwotsits Tue 09-Oct-12 15:33:40

Wow!! Really hoping this is it for you!!!

Ooo just seen this in active convos! How exciting for you, good luck with the next million tests that you will take former poas addict myself

Oooh congratulations!! grin
How did DH take the news?

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 15:48:32

The only other one they had was the expensive digital one. Need to wait a bit before I can use it as I can't go yet. Plus I need to decifer the instructions (not in English). Had to put my pin in 3 times to pay for it. Kept getting it wrong and pressing the wrong buttons. The chemist was very kind.

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 15:52:49

Husband doesn't know yet. He's giving lectures all afternoon so I can't contact him, although I'd want to tell him face to face anyway. I haven't even told him I suspected as I didn't want to drag him onto the rollercoaster with me. I lost my dad recently and he has been keeping it all together as me and mum fell apart. I didn't want to put more on his shoulders.

Olympicrock Tue 09-Oct-12 15:59:14

Congratulations!

ginmakesitallok Tue 09-Oct-12 16:01:31

a line is a line - even a faint one. congratulations!! smile

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