Anyone want to scream with me?

(70 Posts)
getoffthecoffeetable Wed 03-Oct-12 20:00:40

Have been TTC for a while now. Yet again, can feel tell tale signs that am about to come on, again. Gutted. Not helped by the flippant comment DH made this morning when he asked if I was pregnant yet and what was taking so long this time. Am sure he didn't mean it to come out the way it sounded but was not amused.
Anyway, have DS upstairs asleep at the moment so can only do virtual screaming. Anyone want to join me?

jenrendo Wed 03-Oct-12 20:19:11

Oh yes indeedy I feel your pain! I am on month 2 of Clomid after 14 months of trying to conceive a sibling for DS. He was a bit of a miracle but I stupidly thought I might get another! I am wondering if it really is worth all the pain or if I should just be happy with my one littlle poppet. I am currently sitting with hot water bottle on my tummy which has been permanently there since last night. My stomach is like a melon and so sore even when I pee, eat or bend that I'm pretty sure there are no babies being made in there. And trying to have sex while it's this sore is a bloody disaster. I am thoroughly pissed off! smile

getoffthecoffeetable Wed 03-Oct-12 20:27:19

Bless you. Your post has put my self pity into perspective. Have got the mild cramps and am not in that much pain at all (excluding the heartache of course).
Since you have one DS, it means everything's in working order and if it's meant to be, another one will hopefully make an appearance soon.
Dive bombing you with lots of baby dust (and pain relief!).

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 03-Oct-12 22:06:49

Cramps can sometimes mean early pg....I got crazy period type cramps about 3 days before AF was due when I was pg with dc1.

nocluenoclueatall Thu 04-Oct-12 15:05:41

I'll scream silently with you. I'd do it bloody loudly, but my DS is asleep too. I'm due on this morning, POAS... and nothing. BFN. I'm 40 and have had two miscarriages in the last year already so not feeling my best today... sad. More than anything I want to give my little boy a playmate but he's three soon and I'm not getting any younger and frankly I want to sit down and have a big cry about it all...

jenrendo Thu 04-Oct-12 18:44:12

I think we can all cry together! Whatever problems we all have it's frustrating for all of us. Lots of sympathy all round I say smile Oh, and my tummy is back to normal so I can only presume that I have been ovulating and now it's done. The waiting game begins.....

getoffthecoffeetable Thu 04-Oct-12 20:12:26

Good luck Jenrendo, think happy baby thoughts!
Noclue - I have at least 4 friends who've had another baby post 40. There's plenty of time yet. So sorry to hear about your miscarriages though, it must be awful. Will pass the tissue box over to you have finished with it for now
Did my whole POAS and nothing too. Have now wasted 3 tests this week even though I know I should just wait. Am obviously made of money
Will play the waiting game with you, we can keep each other company.

OH, I think I've found my soul mates! One little boy here too, just 3 and 2 months and I just feel like time is slipping away from us each month. Before we know it, he'll be too old to even be bothered by a sibling sad

Just wish I knew what was going on in there. 9 months trying here and no end in sight, not even a whiff of BFP in the whole time.

Currently doing acupuncture, have short LP with lots of spotting. When I saw my acupuncturist on Tuesday, she said my pulse was strong and that that was a good sign and that I should try to take it easy the next few days. But of course I'm already spotting and it's just 3dpo. All bloods have come back normal, no fibriods, ovulating regularly, etc. DH set to do an SA next week.

Just wish I knew what was wrong!

Jenrendo - well done on ovulating smile! No symptom spotting now wink

Getoffthecoffeetable - I don't even test anymore. My mantra is you cannot pee on that which you do not have in the house! grin

Noclue sad so sorry about your mcs. I had one before DS, it's devastating. Here have a brew it's organic decaf!

jenrendo Fri 05-Oct-12 01:32:26

Thanks for the kind thoughts! Funny how we all have a DS. Mine is 2 next week and I am only 34 but when I went to see the fertility man last week he drew a breath through his teeth when he saw my age!! I have tubal issues and have already had 2 cycles of failed IVF before we had DS naturally. I think I was in shock for the entire pregnancy! I only have one tube, the other was removed when I was much younger, and a lap and dye showed that is was blocked. However, it can't be.....we had DS! Noclue keep the hope alive! My friend's sister thought she was going through the menopause at 48 having never had children. She wasn't she was pregnant and now has a healthy little girl! Sorry to hear about your mcs. It must be devastating for you sad lastbox I had acupuncture during my 2nd cycle of IVF and I loved it! THe nurse said when she was putting in the embryos that it was very straight forwards because I was so relaxed (not like me!!) Getoff I never buy a test nowadays as my cycle is so awry there is no point. I just keep waiting for AF to come, and inevitably she does! Good luck ladies. It's been very theraputic on here for me today smile

jenrendo shock at the 'fertility man' - what did he expect your age to be!!? Sounds like your LO is a miracle smile Are you having private care, if you don't mind my asking? Thinking of going to see someone at this point as we've had testing on the NHS, but I just don't feel it was done accurately (CD21 bloods done on CD19 when I only ov'd on CD16 <sigh>). I'm 36, DH 40 - I'm not as concerned about my age as I am about the gap between kids. Doesn't bother DH of course...

Purpleprickles Fri 05-Oct-12 23:16:17

Can I join? Have been on threads before but drifted away because I was becoming obsessed. I have a nearly 4yr old ds too. Been trying to conceive for ten months now. I've had 5 sessions of acupuncture and have been taking prescribed Chinese fertility herbs and herbs to regulate my periods over the last two months. Af came yesterday, yes more regularly but I'd just pinned my hopes on acupuncture fixing me sad
I'm 35 and dh is 39. He doesn't want to have fertility tests so I'm a bit stuck. I don't massively want to either. I think I should be happy with my fabulous boy but sometimes it's harder than others to accept I/we can't give him a sibling. So tonight I'm letting myself have a little cry and an internal scream. Tomorrow it's acupuncture and hot cups to relieve tension knots in my back and trying to get back into positive thinking.

Happilymarried155 Sat 06-Oct-12 08:18:04

I will scream with you too, we have been ttc for 2 years now, nothing obviously wrong so far but got hcg in a few weeks and then we can decide if we want to carry on trying for abit or start treatment. I think that we will start treatment, I don't want to try without success for 6 months and regret not starting treatment. I currently don't have any children but am about to go and spend the day with 6 friends and their babies sad AF was due yesterday, Bfn and I think I can feel it coming today.

When I'm feeling low I tell myself that it will happen and it will be all the more special when it does!!! Good luck everyone! smile

jenrendo Sat 06-Oct-12 16:23:29

Hello newbies. Of course you can join smile Lastbox we had 2 cycles of IVF and paid privately (well, my lovely dad did) because I didn't want to wait for 2 years. What a waste of money that was! We now live in Canada and the province that I'm in allows free IVF for those with tubal blockages, but you still have to pay around $2000 for the drugs sad I'm not sure I can go through all that again tbh and know I should be happy with my lovely boy, but when he's with other children I can see how lovely it would be to have more.

Happily I know how you feel. I was the last of my chums to have a baby and many weekends were spent feeling low at social gatherings, although by the time I resigned myself to never having children I had learned to be happy for them and not grudge them their families. Easier said than done though ;) It's not their fault we can't conceive, but I do know that since having DS all of them have opened up about how dreadful and guilty they felt every time there was a new baby. That made me feel terrible! And believe me, when it does finally happen it is the most peculiar but amazing feeling!

nocluenoclueatall Sun 07-Oct-12 22:32:24

Sorry for the delay getting back on this thread but it's nice to have company isn't it? Such a frustrating time, especially when you're doing everything "right". Being a bit older I've got lots of friends who've being trying for aaaages and it's funny, but a similar story seems to emerge with every pregnancy. It's always when you're not trying (after unsuccessful IVF for example) that these things tend to happen.

Fat lot of use that is when you want a baby so badly though is it?

Good luck to you all with the next cycle though. Maybe next time...

getoffthecoffeetable Mon 08-Oct-12 14:01:02

Hi all
AF arrived on Saturday, have been sulking looking after DS who hasn't been very well poor love.
It's so frustrating, I completely agree. I keep making up imaginary symptoms. Was hoping that this time would have been different.
Anyway, am going to do everything by the book (as soon as AF has gone!) and get the Clearblue monitor on the go. It worked first time with DS last time. Hopefully haven't used up all of my luck. Need to think positive thoughts.
Do you know anyone that the acupuncture worked for rather than it being relaxing? And has anyone had a go at reflexology? Just wondering if they're any good.
Notaclue - you're completely right, almost everyone I know who was having trouble has conceived when they weren't trying (or they've fibbed and said they weren't?)
Echo the good luck message for the next cycle ladies, keep us posted.

jenrendo Mon 08-Oct-12 16:49:04

Ha ha we were seriously not trying, so much so that I had no idea even where my last period had been, so when I got a BFP it was only because I had a sore tummy and wasn't feeling right that I had bought the test in the first place. My boss had nagged me into it. Once I went to the doc I had to get a scan to check it wasn't ectopic but also to date it because I had no idea. Turns out I was 7 weeks!!! We had only had sex twice that month, at totally different times, and for fun! Not even with a baby in mind.

Get off I don't know of a nyone who has fallen pregnant wtih the aid of acupuncture, sorry sad

Well, it is Thanksgiving weekend here and I was very drunk and ate too much yesterday. We had 10 adults and 8 kids for dinner. Mad chaos and a lot of fun. Have a great week everyone smile

MistressofPemberley Mon 08-Oct-12 18:24:39

I really feel like screaming. Can I join you?
TTC #2. Have 4.5yr DS. Had 2 early MCs and one CP in the last 3 years. Been having acupuncture since February. Luteal phase has increased and cycles are more stable. Been allowed to TTC for 2 cycles now. Had convinced myself I was pg this month. Mood swings, tiredness, increased sense of smell, sore boobs, hungry, etc. AF arrived this afternoon on day 27. Gutted. All my symptoms simply mean PMT which had been so much better.
I'm so pissed off. I'll get over it but for now I'm properly miserable. Just want more DC so much. Am 32.

Acupuncture tonight which will make me feel better. Still waiting to be a positive statistic. It's not cheap each week for 8 months. I need my BFP!! Although that's not it for me after MCs; I need a BFP, a healthy pg, and a baby!! Is that really too much to ask?!

Rant over. Hello everyone!

jenrendo Mon 08-Oct-12 20:41:11

Hello Mistress. It's funny how we all manage to convince ourselves we're pregnant isn't it?! I have had a stern talk to myself recently about not testing and not even thinking about it until my period is at least 2 weeks late. My cycle varies from 3 to 6 weeks, so from about 3 and a half weeks on I'm symptom spotting too. Currently I'm on day 22 so any day now my disappointment could loom.....good luck to us all smile It is DS' birthday next weekend so I am distracting myself prepping for that.

getoffthecoffeetable Mon 08-Oct-12 20:45:10

Mistress - hello there. Much sympathy for you, at least you know you're not alone with your AF. Every week with the acupuncture, must be costing you a fortune. When it turns to a BFP it'll be worth it though.

Jenrendo - Happy Thanksgiving! I think I'll rule out the acupuncture and save my money to waste on pregnancy tests lol

Happilymarried - did you decide on the treatment? Good luck with it if you have. Hope that your day with the little ones wasn't too painful for you. Do come and have some more virtual screams if you need them. You know where we are!

Am having another little scream as I was just looking at baby photos of DS and getting all clucky!

getoffthecoffeetable Mon 08-Oct-12 20:49:09

Jenrendo - fingers crossed it's not your AF coming. I am in need of a good talking to about buying those tests. Must stop wasting my money. When I was pregnant with DS, I still had my AF for that month so was further gone than I'd thought. Which means I now still grasp at straws when AF comes now in the vague hope it might the the same second time around!

Have fun prepping for the 2nd birthday of your DS. It'll be so lovely now that he can understand it more. I love their little faces when everyone sings happy birthday and they realise all the attention is just for them. Magical!

jenrendo Mon 08-Oct-12 21:17:39

Getoff we lay in bed this morning and listened to him in his cot singing his rendition of 'Happy Birthday' whilst melting inside, even DH! Aw, sometimes I think I need to take a look at what I've got, not what I haven't!

I think the only good thing about my short lp is that I don't waste money on tests because I never get that far! 7dpo here and already spotting fairly heavily. Had been so so well behaved this month, swearing off coffee & alcohol, eating well, lots of veggies etc. so annoyed with my feckng body!!! Why is this so hard!?!

Hello Mistress - so sorry to hear of your mcs. I've been doing acupuncture fr 6 weeks now - was just thinking today how long we'll be able to afford to do it! Hoping you won't have to do it much longer.

So strange that we've all got boys...wonder if there's a connection hmm

Happilymarried155 Tue 09-Oct-12 07:09:44

I have been doing Accupuncture too, ever since I started seven months ago my cycles have been 30 days every month without fail. I don't know what's happened this month, on day 34 now, no AF, I've tested three times and bfn. I've never had a 34 day cycle, so I don't really know what's going on! Just have to wait and see, not holding out much hope after two years tho!

I have a hcg in four weeks and then I decide, it's hard really everything seems fine so far but I don't think I want to keep trying for another six months, I'd rather start treatment. It feels I've waiting so long already.
Day with the little ones was wonderful, I'm overcome with jelousy but I love them all dearly so it doesn't last long! smile

MistressofPemberley Tue 09-Oct-12 17:25:14

I'm shorter this month Happily. Day 28 and the witch got me. I think I ovulated earlier around day 15 which is pretty good as it was as late as day 20 when I started in February. Just a bit worried about my luteal phase.
Horrid when you think you've got a pattern established and it changes. I've had very little pmt and virtually no pain recently so I'm gutted that I'm really suffering this month.
Keep testing though, and FX for you.

jenrendo Tue 09-Oct-12 19:24:32

Happily glad you had a nice day! I know what you mean about waiting. I got so bloody impatient, having to wait for a year before the GP would even refer me then being told it was at least 2 years on the IVF waiting list, which they wouldn't put me on until I had all sorts of tests which I had to wait for, of course! that's why we ended up paying. I knew the stats were low for IVF and figured that I would probably need at least 3 cycles so we'd better get on with it! It's horrible being in limbo.

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