TTC or pregnancy on prednisolone or similar part 9

(999 Posts)
sarahs999 Fri 31-Aug-12 06:24:33
willitbe Tue 04-Sep-12 14:04:18

Kittens - that is great news! grin

PQ - well done for keeping your legs crossed and holding tight, my friend is still holding onto her little one too, I am amazed at how well babies can hold on in your situations, but every day counts big time.

I am not sure whether to take my name off the list or not. I have basically brought a halt to ttc at the moment, I am trying to get fit and lose a couple of pounds of extra weight that I have gained over the on/off pregnancies. I am starting a new course (well I actually have two to chose from and struggling to decide which is right for me) having finished working away from home. I have not got to the point of saying never and no more babies, but as I am approaching 45 the chances are reducing dramatically anyway. I will continue lurking here for a bit to follow how you are all doing, if that is ok with you all.

GreenOlives Tue 04-Sep-12 14:09:36

Great news Kittens! smile

Abney Tue 04-Sep-12 15:38:52

Kittens fantastic news. I find I am just as nervous waiting for other peoples scan results. When is your next scan now? Is it the 12 week one? I have just had the intralipids and my scan is booked for 3 weeks if I make it that far but as the intralipids are done at 4 and 8 weeks I don't want to put myself through a scan at 7 weeks and then another one at 8 weeks. Even talking about it makes me feel like I am jinxing it.

Hello to everyone else.

Havingkittens Tue 04-Sep-12 16:26:56

Hi abney, I think they were just hooking you up before they came disconnect me. I got a bit held up in traffic this morning. I stayed in hiding in the little rom though as I was feeling very dozy. I'm still in Epsom, waiting to go and pick my car up from it's MOT so as well as driving here across London in rush hour this morning I get to do the same on the way back! Oh joy. I hope my bladder can take the strain! My next scan is in 2 weeks so will be about 10+3, then my Nuchal at 12 wks at FMC and intralipids and scan at 14 weeks if the Nuchal is ok.

Havingkittens Tue 04-Sep-12 16:28:35

Thank you everyone for all your words of support and encouragement. x

ChoccyPud Tue 04-Sep-12 16:34:22

Yay kittens!! Delighted smile

PQ hope you're doing ok there?

Clabbage Tue 04-Sep-12 20:34:34

Can I join you all? I have been lurking for so long that I have read every thread and am so thrilled to see so much recent success.
My history starts a bit differently as I had three successful pregnancies in my early 20's with my first partner. Heartbreakingly, I lost my firstborn ds to cot death, so battled fear to have my 2 dd's. I then mc'd with my new partner (me aged 36, now 40)had our first Ds, mc'd had our ds2. I can hear you all wondering why on earth I didn't just count my blessings and walk away, instead I tried for one more and have had four more mc's, totalling 6. I saw Mr S after mc6 and was diagnosed with high Nk cells and put on the standard program. I am now pg again on treatment but went for a NHS scan at 7w 1, but no clear sign of embryo. I have another scan on Friday but realistically am not expecting good news. I see Mr S on Saturday so I guess will have to get his view.
I wish I could walk away from it all in truth but I just feel all this fight and heartache will have been for nothing if I do. Truth be known I just don't know how to give up. My parenting journey started so devastatingly that I can't imagine letting go on such a low. I do genuinely know how lucky I am to have what I have.
Sorry for lack of personals, I have read your stories and really felt the highs and lows with you and wish you all so much success.

iggi777 Tue 04-Sep-12 21:16:45

Clabbage what a lot you have been through. I hope you manage to get what you want this time.
My DH was talking at the weekend about "maybe" trying again and I just know it's not for me - I'm done. I think until you feel like that you can't stop.

Kittens! I am so so happy about your scan. And a bfp for Abney too! I am such a numpty I posted twice on the last thread today and have just noticed the thread too full to accept messages bit..

duggs1976 Wed 05-Sep-12 07:06:11

Hi clabbage welcome. AF turned up this morning - just in time for the dr s anniversairy !! Can't believe how impossible it is to get pregnant these days- considering getting drunk and hanging out in sleeZy bar for 25 yr old in vain hope I can become impregnated just because I've been on here sooo long !! Yawn sad

ChoccyPud Wed 05-Sep-12 12:15:15

Big hug to you duggs. To try to entertain you, imagine me sat at work having suddenly developed a rash on my upper arms that right now is doing that horrible tingly-itchy thing such that I want to SQUEAL!! Side effects eh?! sad

Welcome clabbage. Sorry to see you here. Am v impressed you've read through all the threads!

Arianrhod Wed 05-Sep-12 12:24:48

And another big hug from me too duggs, I rather know how you feel, just hit my one year Mr S anniversary a couple of weeks ago and thought, bugger this, I had more success getting pregnant before I started seeing him! LOL to your 25 year old comment ... I have to say that similar thoughts fleetingly and irreverently crossed my mind on occasion too smile

clabbage Welcome to the thread, so very sorry for your devastating losses. Like iggi said, it's not until you finally do feel "that's enough" that you really can give up, I think - otherwise I'd have given this all up about 6 months ago, with my 45th birthday looming ever larger in 4 months time. Until that point, I guess you throw your all at it, and try to take heart from the wonderful success stories on here.

lemonsherbet Wed 05-Sep-12 18:10:11

duggs also coming up to the 1year anniversary and also think similar, so you are not alone. Big hug to you, sorry about AF

Sorry for the lack of personals have taken to lurking really

mollieboo Wed 05-Sep-12 18:26:42

Hi clabbage, welcome to the thread, so sorry to hear of everything you've been through. Apart from my mcs, I lost my ds in January when he was five months old. So sad to hear that you lost your ds too.

Clabbage Wed 05-Sep-12 21:36:47

Thank you so much for the welcome.
mollieboo I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your ds too, nothing is ever the same again is it? I truly hope that success comes your way very soon.
choccypud I think it probably marks me out as a bit strange that I have read all the threads. True Geek alert! It has however filled some pred fuelled sleepless hours.
The success on here is truly inspiring and I have such respect for those of you who keep on seeking new avenues to get there.
Just wondered if any of you knew what Mr S is likely to do if this pregnancy fails? Does he use hydroxy after one loss on treatment?
Sorry to those of you reaching anniversaries that remind you of the bloomin horrible journey you've been on. My scan on Friday falls on the EDD of my last miscarried pregnancy. Grrrr

Abney Thu 06-Sep-12 06:52:25

Dear Clabbage I am sorry for your losses and glad you found your way to this thread. I have had 1 success out of 11 and I am currently pg. This time I am having everything thrown at it. In regards to the Hydroxy I think Dr S says that you need to fail twice on the pred before he adds it. I think, however, you should insist on it. It does look like it is having positive effects. If it does goe wrong then at least you know that you have done everything possible. Good luck tomorrow.

Arianrhod Thu 06-Sep-12 09:19:34

A fellow geek! smile I was given hydroxy after one mc on the pred, but it was still a 'new' thing then, think only free had had it before I did (and choccy at the same time as me, I think). Been on it almost 9 months now, no side effects that I know of at all. Don't know if it's doing anything to quell my NK cells either, mind you, but hoping! Fingers firmly crossed that this scan will put the shadow of your last mc to rest, that it's a good one!

Havingkittens Thu 06-Sep-12 09:49:00

Hi clabbage, welcome to the thread. So sorry to hear of all that you've been through. Loosing a baby to cot death must be indescribably painful.

Duggs, sorry to hear AF got you. It really does feel like a smack in the face after so long doesn't it? I was on Mr S's treatment for 15 months before I got pregnant but had also had an enforced break before starting to TTC until I got my referral with him and my test results back so all in all it had been 19 months since my last miscarriage before finally being pregnant again.

This is my first pregnancy on his treatment and I have managed to get myself on Hydroxy as well. When I went to him a couple of cycles ago I told him that I'd been on the pred for over a year and that it was making me feel really lousy and asked if there was an alternative that I could take whilst TTC (I didn't mention hydroxy, I sort of played it innocent!). He said that he would put me on the hydroxy at the beginning of my next cycle, which was the cycle I got pregnant on and so I started taking the 40mg of pred from BFP and have stayed on the hydroxy. Maybe he left me on it because I have VHNKC and also because it's taken me so long to get pregnant, combined with my age and the fact that I have other high risks in addition to miscarriage that maybe he thought he'd just throw everything at this one in case it's my last chance.

At my job yesterday everyone was talking about babies and pregnancy. One of the girls there was pregnant and the others all had kids. I was just silent through the conversation. It was quite strange. Especially when they asked the photographer if he was planning to have a second and he said no because his wife had found pregnancy really traumatic due to having to have a CVS because they thought the baby had Down's (lucky for them their baby was fine). Wow, that brought back a lot of horrible memories. And still, there I was, all quietly getting on with my work whilst they probably thought I was silent because I had no idea or experience of anything they were talking about. Meanwhile, there's me thinking "Next time you see me I will hopefully be obviously pregnant, or perhaps I will have just had one of those big needles in my stomach too and will have had to make that awful, hideous decision for a third time, or perhaps I won't even get that far...."

mollieboo Thu 06-Sep-12 10:06:28

Morning All

clabbage no you're right its never the same again, my life has changed forever. Thank you, hope I get to have another child soon. Hope you get some good news at your next scan.

kittens sounds like you've been through so much in your previous pregnancies. Really hoping this works out for you. Its hard listening to conversations in work about baby stuff when you're in a fragile state isn't it.

Was in work yesterday and a lady who lost a baby years ago and now has three grown up children and grandchildren was saying I should count my blessings - my lovely husband, new house, family and friends - and should just think if it happens it happens re having another baby after losing my first one. I couldn't help thinking it was really patronising of someone to say that who has three children when I have none with me and have only just lost my boy. I think I should have said something instead of silently seething. She has no idea how much of a fertility struggle I'm going through and that people in our position can't just be "if it happens it happens", we have to plan it all very carefully and it takes over every waking thought! Sorry for the moan.

Clabbage Thu 06-Sep-12 11:40:45

Thank you so much for Hydroxy advice. I think it's tricky to know the best approach with Mr S, assertiveness or 'innocence'.
In truth, I should be focusing on this current pregnancy but have to deal with the reality that no clear viable embryo at 7 weeks is not good.
mollieboo Why is it not possible for folk to understand that as grown women, we can both count our blessings and feel deep relentless grief all at the same time? People are desperate to mitigate others grief, I think it's so THEY can cope with it. You are at such an early stage of loss and I would imagine every day feels a bit different. It is not a linear process and I am so so sad that you are now struggling with mc. Cruel cruel cruel. Much love to you.
If I was a praying type of girl having kittens and Abney I would send a few up for you. Please know my non religious version is out there for you x

iggi777 Thu 06-Sep-12 13:06:45

Oh Mollieboo, sad - I wonder if someone took her 3 children away would she be "counting her blessings" that she has a nice house and a husband?
She may have been trying to encourage you, but it didn't exactly work.

Bertha337 Thu 06-Sep-12 14:25:03

Just checking in- found board! Phew!

Hello and welcome to the newbies;
And congrats to Sarah and kittens for hitting milestones (I am forgetting someone...)

On holidays and it is 31 and sunny. I think it's the first time I have been warm in a year! This sun is like a ray of positivity. Olives- I am with you on the nervous wait between 12-20weeks scans. 5 more weeks to go! I tried to get midwife at checking in appointment to listen but she was having none of it! Positives: boobs are like watermelons! Other than that not much else is happening besides the occasional tug to what I assume is a ligament.

Okay; I am off to enjoy the days of sun while they are here!

Hi to everyone; sorry for not catching up properly on everyone's news.

mollieboo Thu 06-Sep-12 17:51:15

clabbage thank you for understanding.
iggi that's exactly what my mum said too, how would she feel if she didn't have her children. People mean well, just misguided sometimes!

Hi bertha enjoy the sunshine!

Havingkittens Thu 06-Sep-12 17:57:20

mollie, I find it so baffling how people can such misguided platitudes rather than just acknowledging your loss which is kinder and so much more respectful.

clabbage, thanks for your good wishes. I too am an atheist. It's tricky this who to ask to look kindly on you when hoping for a break isn't it? I'm mostly asking my mum to watch over me at the moment as I lost her recently. It gives me some comfort, but I won't blame her if it goes tits up!

mollieboo Thu 06-Sep-12 18:15:40

kittens yes exactly, just acknowledging what someone is going through and how tough it is is enough, no unwanted advice needed!

Its lovely to think your mum is with you, looking out for you. I feel that way about my son too x

iggi777 Thu 06-Sep-12 20:18:58

I had my first counselling session today. Was interesting (and not too upsetting) just to start to talk it through. She was very interested in our treatment programme too.

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