Assisted Conception (and the bits in between) Volume 10

(1000 Posts)
MoJangled Wed 13-Jun-12 14:23:19

Our new home, hope you all find me soon...

goldengirl71 Sun 25-Nov-12 13:31:16

Hello, is this the right thread for IUI advice? I am 41 with no children and had a mmc in March this year after trying for only to months to conceive. I haven't had a BFP in the eight months since the miscarriage. I am on my second round of 50mg Clomid (although my charts always show I am ovulating alone) and have released two eggs each cycle. DP has a sperm morphology of 3% which, although the consultant said is 'fine', I am devastated about. We have only £1,000 to spend and are willing to try IUI. Can I have some advice, please? When should I approach my consultant with the news that we want to try? I have four more months of Clomid and then that's it. I feel it would be prudent to fit the IUI in whilst I am still being prescribed Clomid, right? Thanks for your help.

goldengirl71 Sun 25-Nov-12 13:41:32

Pocket, you won't remember me but I know you from the Fabulous 40+ thread. You and Tina were having IVF with donor eggs, right? Fabulous news that you are pregnant. Did you know Tina's having twins?

sunnyg Sun 25-Nov-12 20:19:26

mo I am so so sorry. Devastated I'm sure just doesn't even cut it. You'll need time I know, but we are all here for you, in anyway we can.

Frosticle Sun 25-Nov-12 23:00:55

oh Mo, how terribly sad. I'm so very sorry this has happened.

You're such a terrific support to everyone else - always knowing the right thing to say - it's very unfair. Wish I knew the right thing to say but as sunnyg says, we're all here for you.

xx

MoJangled Mon 26-Nov-12 00:12:52

Thank you lovely girls xxx. I'm really struggling this time. I've been signed off work and have told my boss, but no idea how to deal with the rest - I head a dept of 50 people and don't really want them all knowing but it's not really my style to invent something either. Still bleeding but haven't actually miscarried yet, I'd quite like to really as I envisage somehow the pain and awfulness of it making this real. I can't believe Pip is dead. On the other hand I don't think I can stand waiting much longer and am wondering about calling the hospital tomorrow to ask for the op. DH wants to stop now so I'm also confronting the end of my hopes of completing our family. Things can't stay this dreadful for long, hopefully. Those of you who've gone through this, how did you manage?

Pocket1 Mon 26-Nov-12 08:36:36

Mo honey you've been in my thoughts all weekend.

You don't need to tell your department anything you don't want to. Can you, forget about them for now and just focus on yourself? Can your boss just manage them for you?

With my mc in jan it was devastating and I totally fell apart. Got very drunk and cried a lot. We opted to try for natural mc first - but clinic scanned me afterwards and it wasnt complete. So I had to go for the erpc. I was so terrified of that op and felt it was so unjust to have to end my first ever pregnancy in that way. But the op was simple, pain free and helped me move on. I'm not saying it was easy, but it did help me move on. if you have private health insurance it should cover this.

It's hard to say how any of us cope with the stuff that is thrown at us on this journey - this very tough journey. At times i haven't coped.

I really don't know what to say that might make you feel better. As the others have said, you always know the right thing to say and I just feel inadequate now.

Sending you an enormous hug.

goldengirl71 Mon 26-Nov-12 09:17:21

I feel dreadful having posted yesterday without first reading back and seeing that you are suffering, Mo. I am so sorry for your loss.

Frosticle Mon 26-Nov-12 13:58:20

Mo, maybe your DH's initial reaction is to stop but this may be his knee-jerk initial (and perfectly understandable) thought and with time, he may feel differently? He must be devastated and we all react differently. Take one step at a time. Be kind to yourself and take time to mourn for Pip - that's enough to think about before considering what's next. My DP has put the brakes on every step of the way, every time things haven't gone smoothly and has persistently told me he won't do anymore, causing lots of delays but he has come round. Even if only for my sake. Take care of you. xx

goldengirl welcome!! I'm so sorry I didn't acknowledge your earlier post. You've come to the right thread but unfortunately I have no experience of either Clomid or IUI so am not able to offer your any advice. I'm sure however that one or more of the other very lovely and supportive ladies on here will be able to help you. smile

gingernutdreams Mon 26-Nov-12 19:01:51

Mo I am so so sorry and sad that this has happened to you. sad Words really fail me. Take care of yourself, and take comfort in your DH and DS, and I hope your boss can take care of things for you, so you can just focus on working through all the mixed emotions you must be feeling. Huge hugs.

Welcome Goldengirl, I'm afraid I have never done IUI either, so a unable to give any useful advice, but I'm sure some of the other ladies should be able to help.

Hello to all you other lovely ladies.

Lexie1970 Mon 26-Nov-12 20:04:18

Hi mo I have been lurking the past few weeks and was so pleased for all of you - so sorry to see your latest post - thinking of you x

MiniH Tue 27-Nov-12 07:17:56

Mo I am so sorry this has happened. Sending you a massive hug and I hope you come to a decision soon about the op. there are no right answers - just what is right for you and dh.

goldengirl sorry, i don't know anything about clomid but I'm sure some other ladies will. 3%morph isn't too bad but I understand time isn't on your side. Try some vitamins for dh if you've not done already (although ironically they actually made my dh's morphology worse but I think that is rare).

bugsylugs Tue 27-Nov-12 08:18:08

Mo am so very sorry for your loss, it sucks. Hugs am thinking of you. Hope your body is moving so you can move on one tiny little step. This is such a hard knock

Pocket1 Tue 27-Nov-12 08:28:23

Hi goldengirlI remember you! smile. Thanks for your kind wishes and really great news about Tina. I'm afraid I cant offer any advice about your treatment as mine was so different, but sending you lots of luck x

wellerbabe Tue 27-Nov-12 08:42:11

Mo how are you doing today thinking of you x

Just looking for a bit of advice as am feeling a bit crap. I have been getting what feels like really bad indigestion since Friday and have developed a chesty cough without any other cold symptoms. Feeling really out of breath this morning. I'm on Dexamethasone 1mg and Levothyroxine 50mcg which I started 2 weeks before transfer. Anyone else had any similar side effects? Think I need to give consultant a bell today! Other than that not enjoying 2ww but back to work tomorrow so may take my mind off it all. Must remember not to start squeezing my norks at my desk smile

goldengirl71 Tue 27-Nov-12 09:45:27

Thank you Frosticle, Gingernuts, MiniH and Pocket for your replies. After reading back over the thread I feel an utter fraud for even being here. You are all absolute warriors. I do not know how or where you have all found the fortitude to plough on through your journeys, but the success stories are simply marvellous. I can't bear to think of Mo's pain - bless you, love.

DP & I cannot afford IVF (and besides, I would want donor eggs thanks to my age) and so IUI with Clomid is as far as our journey goes. I wish you all masses of luck and strength x

Twinkle2012 Tue 27-Nov-12 10:46:14

Hello everyone...

Does anyone have any experience of ARGC in London? I am currently at the Bridge Centre but ARGC seem to have very high success rates. I have a consultation with them in January but hair wondered if anyone had had any success with them / the Bridge.

Thanks lovely ladies :-)

sunnyg Tue 27-Nov-12 18:10:45

mo how are you feeling today my dear? Any decisions yet whether to have the ERPC or not? I agree with everyone else, this is a horrible, horrible time, but whatever decision you make, it'll be right for you. To be completely honest although my MC did happen naturally in the end, I would have preferred an ERPC as i felt it things really did drag on, and that more than anything it would have given me a better chance to move on. But regardless whether you have the procedure or not, it's just a awful, awful thing mo and I really feel for you. As frosty has said, perhaps DH is feeling this way now, but maybe that decision should be deferred to much later to have that conversation and make that very big decision. Also, if possible, work can wait. Work will always be there, but you need to look after yourself now. Thinking of you.

weller sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. Sorry I don't know much about your meds, but I think definitely think a call to your consultant is in order. Back to work should at least keep your mind off things (a bit!). When is test day?

golden girl wishing you all the best for your journey.

twinkle I just had my ARGC consultation last week, and I should be starting my monitoring cycle with them very soon. After the consultation it was the first time in ages I felt (cautiously) positive. YOu can't ignore those amazing success rates. There are quite a few ARGC graduates here, past and present who will be able to give you more information I'm sure.

DSB ladies oxo

vallinnapod Tue 27-Nov-12 19:55:17

Hi Twinkle - Bridge grad here (and current patient) Just yell if you want to know anything in particular.

Golden - don't feel like a fraud! Assisted Conception covers a multitude of sins grin

Mo hope you are bearing up.

Feeling <bleurgh> here and only on the pill confused Managed to put on 7lbs in a fortnight - which the acupuncturist says is the progesterone in it. Explains the delightful constipation and pile blush. And there was me thinking I would only have this joy again once the cyclogest started! Still, one week of popping to go....

MoJangled Tue 27-Nov-12 21:40:15

Hi girls, and thanks so much for all your wise words, they're a huge source of comfort and strength to me. This is a terribly isolating experience, isn't it, and it's tremendously reassuring to know thatyou all absolutely get it. I ended up booking in for the ERPC yesterday and then miscarrying naturally last night. It was grim but it's moved me towards closure of a sort, and at least I've avoided the op - sorry you had to go through both dear Pocket . I've also asked to be put in touch with a counsellor, as I think we'll need some help coming to terms with everything. You may be right that DH could come round Frosticle , but after 8 cycles, and me bering 44, its also possile tht need to accept that DS was an unrepeatable miracle. All a bit too early toeven consider coherently at the mo, Sunny is right, as is so often the case.

Goldengirl you are absolutely not a fraud! Clomid seems to be the first thing they try and if you're ovulating normally but it increases your eggs it does up your chances. Re IUI it would be good to understand what problem the docs think it will solve. Unless they can answer that, I'd be inclined to spend some of the 1000 getting some tests done to see what's standing in your way. Have you had an ovarian reserve test like AMH done? Should be free on NHS.

Weller sorry you're feeling bad and I hope the clinic can clarify whether you're 'supposed' to feel like this. Vallinapod hope this isn't a portent for how you'll feel on the drugs for the rest of your cycle!

Sashabella0 Wed 28-Nov-12 09:19:19

Mo hope you are doing as well as you can be. X

Frosticle thinking of you today. My scan is 4pm. Pleased I've got a busy day so it goes quickly!

Xx

Frosticle Wed 28-Nov-12 13:22:44

Mo - I have been thinking about you a lot - we all have - and I am so sorry you've had this ghastly experience. I was relieved to read that you were spared the op and things dragging on. I understand completely about the age thing and I think the counsellor is a great idea. Sending you a big hug. Please be kind to yourself and look after you.

weller - any joy with the consultant? When is your 2ww up?

Vallina - Poor you! I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with the progesterone. I find cyclogest, in the number 2 portal, prevents constipation. blush Hang in there, it'll all be worth it!!

Sasha Thank you, sweetie and ditto! I've been thinking about you too! What a shame you have such a l-o-n-g wait until 4pm. I hope it all goes smoothly. I look forward to your next post!

My scan went well. I have a 9.8mm fetus, exactly as it should be at 7 wks, 1 day, and I saw and heard the heartbeat.That's me done with the clinic now and I have an appointment with the GP to kick things off with the NHS on Monday. grin

goldengirl71 Wed 28-Nov-12 13:57:36

Crumbs, Mo, I find it incredible that you are still so willing to offer advice when you are going through heartache. Counselling is an excellent idea, in my opinion - mumsnet friends are priceless in their own right but an objective professional can really work wonders on our perception of the very bad things which can happen to us (I speak from experience). I do wish you peace. May I ask you a question? You say you are 44 and I think I remember you saying your child is two years old? Were you 42 when you fell pregnant and was it a natural conception? If so, that has given this 41 year-old tremendous hope!

Sasha, best of luck for your scan.

Frosticle, excellent news about your perfectly-sized foetus!

I think I will stick around here, if you all don't mind - I will hopefully meet others who are contemplating IUI. Mo, you asked it I've had the AMH test. I haven't - only the day 3 FSH (scores of 6.5 and 8.5 from GP surgery and clinic respectively). I will enquire about the AMH. The reason I plan to try one round of IUI is because DP's sperm has onnly a 3% morphology. I know this is acceptable but the bastard my DP refuses to give up smoking and I am convinced his choked, spluttering, three-headed sperm are too knackered to fertilise my eggs.

Please may I ask one further question? Iam grasping at straws here: would agreeing to a donated embryo be more affordable than regular IVF? Am I being utterly naive to think someone would donate their embryo for free? (I am cringing at the desperate ludicrousness of this question blush)

CaipirinhasAllRound Wed 28-Nov-12 14:18:26

mo I hope you are ok, you are one strong lady to have gone through this 8 times

Good luck for later sasha and great news frosticle

I'm waiting for a call to hear if we carry on with our current attempt or not. I had a scan yesterday after 3 weeks of down regging but i've had a flare reaction so although I have a nice thin lining I also have 8 big follicles. They are recommending that we stop now and start afresh in about 3 months with a short protocol but our funding expres in 3 weeks . So now I'm waiting to hear from the clinic to see if the funding can be extended given the circumstances. If not I have to go in to have the cysts drained or something so that we can carry on with this attempt. And in the meantime I am trying to at least look like I am doing some work

Hope everyone else is well

Hoophopes Wed 28-Nov-12 16:59:59

goldengirl to improve your husband's sperm morphology is he taking a male fertility supplement? Ie lots of vitamins to help things (and counter the smoking). I know you can't get help on the nhs, but they wouldn't treat you anyway due to your dh's smoking - you have to take a test to prove you don't smoke before you can commence nhs treatment, as smoking is seen as unhelpful to fertility treatment. Could you persuade him to cut down or take high dose of vitamin c (my dh took a 1000mg a day tablet to increase his low morphology - it worked, alongside male vitamins!!)

frost that is great news!

Mo - glad you booking some counselling, hope that helps.

Sashabella0 Wed 28-Nov-12 19:03:02

Thanks for all your words of support. Scan went well. I'm 6 weeks today. We saw the heart beat and are now discharged back to GP.

So happy for you Frosticle! Xxxx

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