mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

(1000 Posts)
CaipirinhasAllRound Fri 13-Jan-12 18:51:14

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

missbrightside Mon 25-Mar-13 18:40:12

I'm on my blackberry on a train so this will probably come out as nonsense ...

Lesley Funny you should mention protocol. There is now a suggestion that I may do a follicular protocol (a cross between a long and a short protocol) - will find out more tomorrow. I'll keep you posted as to what it involves ...

This is our third go and I absolutely know what you mean about it being like it's happening to someone else. I'll do it but haven't found acceptance with it yet ...

Caiphirinas It's LakeSIDE I don't like. Not Lakeland. I like Lakeland - they sell those clips to close food bags ...

xxx

CaipirinhasAllRound Mon 25-Mar-13 22:50:34

So 3 cocktails and a glass of wine later and I feel much chirpier! I've started going out in London with a younger single Aussie colleague during the week and have really enjoyed it but she goes back to oz in 2 months and I'm going to miss the nights out. Me and dh don't go out much and only know 1 couple in our town who have a toddler and so we tend to just go to their house. Do any of you have a decent social life?

I'm on day 36 today, pre IVF my cycle was around 25 days, but have been spotting so think AF must be on the way. How have you all managed to summon the enthusiasm for sex post IVF?

Hope you're all ok xx

notnowImreading Tue 26-Mar-13 20:54:35

Fuck it fuck it fuck it, Lesley. It's so bloody unfair - there's no justice in it. I hope you are able to either take it easy or bury yourself in interesting work, whichever suits you better.

Brightside, it was my first humira. I was used to ovitrelle from when I was doing clomid so was expecting it to be nice and easy like that. My whinging about small amounts of pain does make me think that maybe it's a good thing that actual childbirth is such a long, long way off.

Glad you are getting out, Caipirinhas - someone has to! I don't really go out at all, and I really like going out. I'm quite jealous actually. Might do something about that.

Welcome back from hols, Pomatron. Hate that feeling...

Right, lap and hysto tomorrow. Going off to do some, ahem, grooming now.

missbrightside Wed 27-Mar-13 08:35:29

Good luck for later Not Now Make the most of having the opportunity to louge around afterwards !

I'm jealous of your weekday drinking too Caiphirinas !

Hope everyone else is well and looking forward to the long weekend !

We seem to have started IVF round three ! Had initially been told that would be on the long protocol and starting on day 21. Had a blood test on day 2 (mon) - asked to return on day 3 (yesterday) - and literally started downregging there and then ! (I'm on the follicular protocol - almost a cross between the long and short - still invovles downregging but at the start of the cycle instead of the end).

Feel irrationally underprepared ! I'd intended to get all the flat in order over Easter (it is filthy and a tip !) - get up to date with work - and most importantly get my highlights done before starting !!! Waaahhhh - haven't done any of it !!!

Must not get stressed and must go with the flow ....... !!

xxx

Bearface Wed 27-Mar-13 10:45:18

Really sorry Lesley sad. It's so shit. There's not much I can say, but I'm thinking of you.

Good on you Caipirinhas. I don't get out much in the week or at the weekends TBH. I sometimes go for a drink on a Friday after work, but it's never alcohol as I'm always driving. I did that last Friday and had a really good time followed by curry! I know I sound sad, but I like staying at home or going to the pub with DH at the weekend as I don't see much of him during the week because he gets home late and we're often then at the gym. Also, because I'm a teacher I really can't drink on a skool night as I wouldn't be able to function the next day. I know lots of people can, but I can't. I'm happy with how my life is though. I go out every now and again, which is enough for me.

Notnow - if you like going out, then maybe you should go for it. Suggest something with someone you get on with at work maybe? Hoping you're otherwise okay.

Glad you had fun on hols Pomatron - sorry you have to be back. Glad you felt more like your old self; try to hang onto that as much as you can.

That's a welcome surprise Miss B! Sending you all my positive vibes. x

I'm oving at the mo, so we're still going with trying to get DH's sperm up to standard and trying naturally. Think we're still going to be referred to fertility specialist though - just waiting for a letter to arrive now.

notnowImreading Wed 27-Mar-13 11:27:31

Just ready to go home after lap and hysto - everything fine and absolutely normal, apparently. I feel weirdly okay, just like the edge of a period pain rather than anything worse. Sore shoulder from the gas bubbles though.

Brightside, get a cleaner! Seriously, £10 an hour is a drop in the ocean beside the rest of it and it will mean you don't even have to think about it. I love my cleaner. She is wonderful.

Good luck with the natural trying, Bearface.

Bearface Wed 27-Mar-13 11:37:23

Sorry I forgot you were having your lap and hysto Notnow - glad it went okay and you're not in too much pain. Hope you manage to have a good rest now. x

notnowImreading Wed 27-Mar-13 16:47:42

No worries, Bearface. If you end up having one, it's not that bad.

missbrightside Wed 27-Mar-13 17:15:34

Glad it went well Not Now and that you are recovering quickly ! I must have had too much anaesthetic during mine as - alongside the shoulder pain - I felt really 'odd' for days ........

I actually enjoy cleaning when I have time .....

xx

notnowImreading Mon 01-Apr-13 10:12:23

Happy April Fools' Day everyone. I can't think of any tricks that wouldn't be heartbreaking, though.

CaipirinhasAllRound Mon 01-Apr-13 11:52:24

Hope everyone's ok. You sound low notnow, really hope things are ok.

How are you feeling lesley?

I've just come on today after 42 days. Amazingly though, having not ovulated this time last year, at least during the month they tested, today is exactly 14 days after ov symptoms. Shame we didn't have sex!

Xxx

notnowImreading Mon 01-Apr-13 12:11:28

No, I'm alright. Feeling much better now - Brightside was right and I felt very odd a couple of days after the op and had to scale back on normal things like walking into town but all seems to be healing nicely and is a lovely shade of lime green!

notnowImreading Mon 01-Apr-13 12:13:17

As far as sex and ov symptoms go, I did have sex on the day I had some this month, but then I went and had the hysteroscopy. May I offer you a dry, knowing laugh? How are you doing?

missbrightside Mon 01-Apr-13 14:46:02

Happy Easter girls. Hope you have all enjoyed the long weekend.

Can I suggest that as a cure for all the unhappiness at the moment that you all go over to Amazon and invest £2.44 on Harry Hill's DVD (Hooves Live). I saw him live a month or so ago and he was HILLARIOUS ! The show on the DVD probably isn't as funny or as clever as the one I saw - but it's not bad. I know he is a bit like marmite but I absolutely LOVE him (and ordinarily I would be irrationally irritated by a man who is constantly silly !)

If only had had stayed a doctor - and then specialised in fertility. He would have solved all our problems. Fact.

I think downregging has gone to my head. Literally. I believed the April Fools joke on the local radio station. Said that the Brighton Eye (like the London Eye but a bit smaller) had been moved overnight from it's spot on the seafront to in front of the Pavillion as it was a more 'commercial' place for it. Errr .... it's massive .... would have been a job and a half to move it anywhere blush. I seriously don't think I should be working at the moment ... mind really isn't on the ball ......

Caiphirinas Glad AF has arrived. That was a really long wait for you ...

Not now Glad you are on the mend. Although they have healed fine I think I will have marks where the incisions were for quite some time (good job I'm not a bikini model !)

Hello to everyone else smile

xxx

Bearface Wed 03-Apr-13 10:08:51

Happy Easter everyone! Hope you had a good long weekend.

Sorry for you folks having to go through procedures ATM. I've got everything crossed for you though.

Not much to report here. Just getting on with my hols. Got lots of work to do today so must get on with it! and get off of here!

Hope you're okay Notnow in particular. Glad that the procedure wasn't as bad as it could have been, but also hope you are feeling a bit better in yourself. x

CaipirinhasAllRound Thu 04-Apr-13 09:15:58

How's down regging going missbrightside?
I saw a lovely doctor at our clinic yesterday to discuss a frozen cycle. As my cycle isn't always regular he suggested a medicated cycle so I'll be down regging again too. Bit apprehensive after the cysts last time but we talked about it and even if I get them again it's not such an issue as my ovaries will be surplus to requirement this time anyway. He also recommended we go for 2 blasts this time. Got Cuba and a drunken rugby 7s weekend coming up so reckon we might do it June ish

Hope everyone else is doing ok and that you teachers are enjoying the break x

missbrightside Thu 04-Apr-13 12:28:45

Hello all

Hope everyone is well.

Am very jealous of the teachers and their current holidays ......

Caiphirinas Glad that your meeting with the clinic went well and that you have a plan in place. Nice to have a holiday before starting again.

Downregging is going alright (and thank you for asking). Well, I think it is. Had a blood test earlier this week which showed I hadn't down-regged quite enough so had a mad dash to the clinic to get both a trigger shot and a course of tablets (Provera) to bring on a period. Not entirely sure I understand the rationale behind any of this confused Anyhow, as soon as the period arrives (which should be 3-5 days after stopping the tablets but could be up to 2 weeks) then I should start stimming ...... Feeling a bit stressed as am REALLY manic at work and still have no real idea of when I'll be off (I intend to get signed off for three weeks this time. Bugger it). Told my boss I am going to be signed off for a medical procedure but that I don't know when it is. He was a bit hmm !!!!

Right, must go and try and find my concentration .......

Take care girls xxx

CaipirinhasAllRound Thu 04-Apr-13 12:51:11

Is it the clinic or your gp who will sign you off? I took holiday last time but would prefer not to have to use it if poss

missbrightside Thu 04-Apr-13 14:03:07

Hello

I'm going to go to my GP. Want her to write something vague like 'medical proceure and recovery time'.

Last year more or less all of my holiday entitlement was used for various appointments and our two cycles. Fed up with it now .....

xx

notnowImreading Mon 08-Apr-13 11:30:31

Right ladies, I've just signed on to say goodbye. I will miss your good sense and humour and the support we've given each other, but I can't keep looking at Mumsnet and am going to delete the app. My husband has become more and more adamant that he cannot see himself having children now and the infertility treatment (and the 'trying' that went before the medical stuff) has really done him in. He is seeing the GP for depression and may go for counselling, but he seems very certain about what he doesn't want. I think we will split up over the next couple of weeks. I am trying to keep my head together but not seeing much light at the end of the tunnel at the moment. Have been looking at rental flats and getting really fed up.

Wishing you all the very best of luck - I hope there will be some good news for some of you. (I might pop back for updates in a while when it's not so raw.) xxx

CaipirinhasAllRound Mon 08-Apr-13 13:46:31

Oh shit notnow. That's truly shit
Stay strong and look after yourself. I feel it's maybe too early to say, but things will get better. Others will have more useful things to say I'm sure.

I've spent more time recently imagining a life without kids and reckon it would be ok, but you never know what's next for you.

There's a quote one of my colleagues uses which I often think about - 'what will you do with your one wild and crazy life?' Maybe it's your time to do something amazing?

We'll miss you but forget about all this and focus on you and what you want. We'll be here if you need us. Take care xxxxx

missbrightside Mon 08-Apr-13 17:37:41

I really am so very sorry to hear that Not Now. I had so hoped that things would work out for you both.

Never look at things as being an ending. They are merely a new beginning.

As Caiphirinas has said we will miss you - but thank you for all your kind words over the last year or so. I had never posted on an internet forum before this one and I never realised how supportive the virtual world can be.

Take good care of yourself. I do hope that there is some sunshine back in your life soon.

xxx

LesleyKnope Tue 09-Apr-13 15:33:57

Oh notnow I'm so sorry to hear that. That's really beyond cr*p. But give the counselling time - depression is so debilitating. My husband & I went for counselling on Saturday - it was good but made me realise we have a long way to go, we'll need a good many sessions to even begin to get back on track. This ttc b*llox can really f'ck you up.
Do please look in on us when you feel you can, I'd really like to know how things pan out for you. Take care & just keep putting one foot in front of the other. X

Dreamy33 Tue 09-Apr-13 17:32:44

I'm so sorry notnow. It's so so sad that ttc has the power to drive such a horrible wedge between couples.

I really hope that you find happiness very soon x x

Bearface Tue 09-Apr-13 19:38:35

I'm so sorry to hear your news Notnow. I'm so sad for you. I really really hope you and DH find your way through this, whatever the outcome might be.

It's been lovely having your friendship and we will miss you. Do stay in touch in the future. xxx

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